I Still Want You [Taekook] - Chapter 24: Chapter 24

Seoul - May 2018
Jungkook's P.O.V
"So, tonight we've got a free schedule right?" I asked while munching my pasta
Currently, the six of us have our dinner together. It's been a long time since we have the chance to just sit in the dorm, eating, and laid back.
"Uhm, yeah. What would you do? will you go somewhere?" Namjoon hyung asked me while feeding Jin hyung a spoonful of his pasta. What a lovey-dovey. I'm taking a glance at Jimin who's leaning to his boyfriend. This two couple just need to breathe to successfully make me feel so lonely.
and like being able to read my mind, Hoseok hyung who was sitting beside me patted my back gently. "It's okay. You have me"
"You're not going to answer me?"
"Oh yeah. I'm going out for a while?"
"Where?"
"Hospital?"
"What? Are you sick? Are you okay?" Jin hyung approached me worriedly. He looks at my body thoroughly, trying to find an injury
"Nope. I'm okay. I'm going to visit my Grandma"
It's almost a year since she "live" in the hospital, but I just visit her twice. What a nice grandson I am.
"convey our greetings to her. Hopefully, she gets well soon" Jin hyung hugged me, the other members start to rushed to me as well. We have a group hugged. I really love this family.
I wear black sweatpants, a hoodie, a mask, and glasses. Driving my car. Yeah, our member has their own car but we never used it except for private occasion like this.
"Hello my beautiful lady," I said as soon I entered my grandma's room, and she's smiling so brightly upon my arrival
"Look who's coming. Come here, baby" I kiss her cheeks and forehead.
"Better?"
"My one and only grandson visit me, of course, I'm getting better."
"Glad to hear that. Sorry for just visit now"
"It's okay baby. I know you're busy" she caressed my hand softly
"Your parents just left a while ago. I feel sorry for them because every week they need to drive away, back and forth, from Busan to Seoul" her expression became sad
"No granny, we're the one who's sorry because we left you alone here"
"You know, I can stay at Busan hospital. So it would be easier for your parents."
"And you know very well that this is the only hospital in the country which has everything you need on your recovery" I kissed her hand tried to chase away the sadness
We talked about many random things and giggling together.
"Will you stay here tonight?"
"I really want to do it, but I'm sorry, I can't. We have to go to L.A tomorrow, morning flight."
"It's okay. By the way, I have something for you. Actually, I really want to give this to you a long time ago, But I always forget"
"What's that?" I asked excitedly, just like when I was young, always excited of her gifts.
She handed me a key, with a letter J keychain. I looked at her confused
"What is this, grandma?"
"That's a key" she laughed at me
"I know. I'm not that stupid. But what's this key for? Did you buy me a house?"
"I hope I'm that rich, but you're richer. So just buy your own later. It's not yours."
"Then why did you give it to me?"
"So you can give it to the owner"
"And who's the owner?"
"Taehyung"
My heart stops beating. Taehyung. The name that I loved the most in this whole world. The person that I miss like crazy. The person I long for, who is deeply stuck in my heart.
Understanding my dark expression, grandma took my hands on her.
"Why you have this?"
"He accidentally dropped it when he visiting me."
"Two years ago" she added
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion
"Without your knowing, He used to always visit me once in a week. Since the day where the three of us accidentally met at your manager house" the memories flew back into my brain, everything was clear as if it had just happened yesterday.
That time, just as usual, I have my date with Tae at Sejin Hyung's house, we're cuddling together until someone knocked at the door. We panicked. I opened the door and my boyfriend's hiding in the kitchen. Turns out my grandma came to bring Kimchi for Sejin Hyung, and she suddenly stormed towards the kitchen. That's how Tae met her.
"It's not his fault. I know you forbid him to see me, but I'm the one who always forced him to visit me. Being away from my child, living alone without a husband, makes me so lonely. Taehyung's presence makes me so happy. He is a bright child, very kind, polite, caring. He often helps me harvest vegetables in the fields. Ah, I really miss him"
I surprised at this new fact.
"Why he never tell me?"
"You clearly forbid him to visit me, make sure he is far from everything about your family. He is just a loving man. He didn't want to make you disappointed, but he didn't want to make me lonely either."
"It might be his house's key" My grandma wiping a teardrop in her cheek.
"I found this in my house after he visits me. Two years ago, the last time he comes. Every time I remember him from back then, I can't stop crying. He appears four days after that scandal. You can never imagine how shocked I am about that nightmare."
"How is he?"
"That time? When he came?"
I just nodded my head. Single tears fall down.
"He looks so devastated. Very skinny, just a skin and bone. His face was pale with an eye bag. His hair is a mess. There was absolutely no smile on his face. And you know what's makes me a crying mess? He has some cut wounds on both of his wrist." She starts sobbing, so do I.
The guilt sat not only on my chest but also my brain. I put him on so much pain.
That time I always feel that I'm going to die, I feel so dejected. I'm so egoist, demanding all of my members to understand me, everything is centred on me. I only think of myself.
Never realized that what he goes through is a thousand times worse. All the pain that I felt is not even the tip of the nail compared to what he is feeling. I'm feeling dying, but nothing compared to him who's already trying to die
"What did he said?"
"He bid me goodbye. He said that his sister, who came along, pick him up to back to their country."
So this is indeed his house's key.
"Jungkook, it's not your fault. I know very well the reason behind it, and I understand your choice. I tell you this, it's not to make you sad. I just want you to know everything you should know. So you can make up your mind, take courage, settle everything, and take him back. The feeling of this old woman tells me that he is the one for you." She kisses and hugs me.
"Grandma, I think I should go now. My member would look for me" A lie. I just want to go away before I break down. I don't want her to see me broken, or else it will make her worried.
"Wait" she holds my hands, "There's another thing for you". She gave me a roll of paper tied with a red ribbon.
"When Taehyung said goodbye, he left this for you. He asked me to give this to you as your birthday present. But I just had a chance to give this now. Take it"
I took the paper and put it in my hoodie pocket then quickly said goodbye to her. A tear is forming but I wouldn't let it fall.
Fifteen minutes later, without me knowing, my subconsciousness take me in front of Taehyung's house. Stop in the exact spot where we shared our kiss that night.
The house is dark. Since it's been left vacant for two years it feels like a haunted house. This house still the same as the one in the picture which Jimin took.
I take the key in my pocket, look at it with the tears that can't stop flowing
"Why he always thinking of me above anything else? Even this key has my initial on it."
I opened the paper's roll. it's a music sheet with lyrics, the title is 'Fate'.
Promise me that when this moment's over and we meet again
That we can put everything in the past and stand by each other
This is what we call fate, it's something we can't deny
Will I ever experience another day as glorious as today?
You're a gift upon this exhausting path of life
I'll continuously wash and shine our love so it won't rust away
Our meeting was short like a drunken affair, but it was real
Even though this cannot last, I won't resent it because nothing is forever
This is what we call fate, it's something we can't deny
Will I ever experience another day as glorious as today?
There's so much I want to say, but you probably already know
When we meet again sometime in the future
Please don't let go again
The love we couldn't have in this life
The fate we couldn't live in this life
When we meet again sometime in the future
Please don't let go of me
The moment I finished reading the lyrics, my tears burst, spilling down my face. My walls, the walls that hold me up and make me strong just collapse. I press the paper against my chest, my hands trembling, clutching at the paper.
As much as I tried to hold it in, I can't help but roaring his name. "Taehyung"
I'm shouting his name over and over. "Tae, my baby, my heart, my whole life, my everything. You always believe that someday we can have a date at your house. I'm here Tae. Where are you? Please Come back"
You're still alive right?
I'm screaming the most hysterical cry I've ever had