I Still Want You [Taekook] - Chapter 32: Chapter 32
You are reading I Still Want You [Taekook], Chapter 32: Chapter 32. Read more chapters of I Still Want You [Taekook].
Seoul - July 2018
No One's P.O.V
Jungkook wakes up with pain all over his body. And his heart too. What Taehyung said last night was still reverberating in his mind. He tried to get up from the bed with all his energy.
"It's not good to smoke in the morning," he said when he saw Taehyung smoking on the balcony of his apartment.
Taehyung turned to Jungkook. Without turning off the cigarette, he walked toward the dining room with Jungkook who's trailing behind.
Without a word, Taehyung put a plate of fried rice in front of Jungkook.
"Wow, you still remember that I like eating fried rice for breakfast" Jungkook smiled
"It's the only thing I can cook. Don't think too highly of your self." Taehyung said indifferently. Even so, Jungkook feels happy. Taehyung cooks for him. That's the point.
"Take off your clothes"
"What?" Jungkook is shocked, he almost chokes on his food.
"Just do it."
Jungkook undressed. This used to be a normal thing he does, but now he feels embarrassed.
"Just eat your meal. I'll treat the bruises on your back." Taehyung takes the first aid kit and stands behind Jungkook.
"Thank you," Jungkook said softly
Taehyung put the ointment on Jungkook's back, makes him wincing in pain.
He treats Jungkook's wound gently and full of care.
"I miss your touch". Taehyung ignores Jungkook's words
"Don't you wonder what happened to me?"
"No"
"You are really indifferent"
"At least I am willing to help you."
"Well, yeah. Thank you for that"
There is a silence for a couple of minutes. Jungkook thought it would be an awkward silence, but in fact, it's somehow comforting.
"Will you hear a story?"
"No"
"Can you just say 'yes' for once?" Jungkook has already finished his food
"No"
"I'm still going to tell you the story"
"So what's the point of asking then?" Taehyung moves to sit next to Jungkook. He has finished treating the bruise on his back and he'll treat the wound in the hands.
"You were always disappointed because I never told you about my family. This is the reason. My parents are abusive. This bruised is caused by them." Taehyung doesn't respond, but Jungkook can feel the man he loves tensed up.
"I have an older brother. He has died. Suicide. My parents always abused him for one reason, he was gay. So do I. But I never tell them, and they never found out too. Because I'm afraid that I will experience the same as my brother. I'm such a coward. That's why, at that time, I lied by saying that I was straight. I lied that ... " Jungkook choked up. There is a big lump of regret, guilt, and sorrow on his heart. and it's strangling him.
"Enough. You don't need to continue it. I don't want to hear anything. Let it be, I've erased it from my memory and my life. You don't need to remind me of that nightmare anymore."
Taehyung finishes treating the male's wound.
"Wear your clothes. Soon Min Yoongi will pick you up." He added
"Glad to know that you still save our number. You do not completely remove us from your life."
Taehyung only snort on his words
"You still care about me"
"My parents raised me to be a person of humanity, who always helps others in need. Not someone who doesn't care about the suffering of others. Not to be a person who just stays quiet when he sees someone gets bullied. Not the one who's close his eyes at everything happens around him. I'm glad they raised me that way."
It's stabbed Jungkook right at his heart. He knew he done something awful. And he regrets it so much. If he can, he would retract all the bad things he ever said.
He looks at Taehyung. Look at every inch of his face. At the piercings on his ears and lips. At the glorious tattoo on his neck. The fiery red hair which is perfect for him.
Taehyung stand up to left Jungkook, but
"I heard everything you said last night," it makes Taehyung froze in his spot.
"If you didn't want me to come back to your life, then why did you come here again? You said it's easy for me? No. It's really hard for me too. You don't know how much I regret it, you don't know how much I missed you, You ... "
Jungkook's words were cut off by Taehyung who threw the medicine box into the mirror at the dining room. The mirror is now broken to pieces, the fragments scattered everywhere.
"Shut the fuck up. Didn't I already tell you to not said anything?"
"No, listen to me. Let me explain it to you."
"Explain? Hahaha. Are you kidding me? Everything comes out from your mouth is just to justify your action. Everything is just bullshit" Taehyung is in rage. His face is red and his hands clenched with anger.
"I'm sorry Tae." Jungkook looks at Taehyung with pleading eyes.
"You said it's hard for you? Really? Then tell me how hard is it." Taehyung said in a mocking tone
"My life is so devastated without you. Every day in my life is only you, you mean that much to me. I'm gonna go crazy without you. I keep wanting to give up, I'm ... " He can't speak anymore. Everything he wanted to say is stuck in his throat.
Suddenly Taehyung grabs Jungkook's collar. His eyes throwing a dagger to the raven-haired male.
"Your life is devastated? How about me? Haven't you ever been curious about what I feel? Loving someone to the point where you hate them. Do you know how that feels?
Do you know how I'm doing these past two years? My days were a struggle, even my dreams were painful. I can't even fall asleep, I can't even swallow anything, I can't even breath. I feel like dying. I wish you could be me, I wish you could feel it for just a day. Since that day, my life is a hell. Do you know that?"
Taehyung panted. His chin and lips trembled as he cried. And Jungkook felt the tears fill up his eyes.
Ding Dong... Ding Dong... Ding Dong...
Taehyung releases his grip on Jungkook's collar.
"That's must be Min Yoongi. Leave now. Before I kill you with my own hands.
* * *
* 5 minutes after Jungkook left Taehyung's apartment*
Taehyung's P.O.V
It isn't easy to leave even when it's the only option available.
Just because I let you go, doesn't mean I want it. But it might be better this way. I am afraid to ruin everything if I have to say what I feel.
Until this moment, you are still the reason why my heart doesn't accept anyone else. Because for me, after you, I don't want someone new.
No One's P.O.V
Jungkook wakes up with pain all over his body. And his heart too. What Taehyung said last night was still reverberating in his mind. He tried to get up from the bed with all his energy.
"It's not good to smoke in the morning," he said when he saw Taehyung smoking on the balcony of his apartment.
Taehyung turned to Jungkook. Without turning off the cigarette, he walked toward the dining room with Jungkook who's trailing behind.
Without a word, Taehyung put a plate of fried rice in front of Jungkook.
"Wow, you still remember that I like eating fried rice for breakfast" Jungkook smiled
"It's the only thing I can cook. Don't think too highly of your self." Taehyung said indifferently. Even so, Jungkook feels happy. Taehyung cooks for him. That's the point.
"Take off your clothes"
"What?" Jungkook is shocked, he almost chokes on his food.
"Just do it."
Jungkook undressed. This used to be a normal thing he does, but now he feels embarrassed.
"Just eat your meal. I'll treat the bruises on your back." Taehyung takes the first aid kit and stands behind Jungkook.
"Thank you," Jungkook said softly
Taehyung put the ointment on Jungkook's back, makes him wincing in pain.
He treats Jungkook's wound gently and full of care.
"I miss your touch". Taehyung ignores Jungkook's words
"Don't you wonder what happened to me?"
"No"
"You are really indifferent"
"At least I am willing to help you."
"Well, yeah. Thank you for that"
There is a silence for a couple of minutes. Jungkook thought it would be an awkward silence, but in fact, it's somehow comforting.
"Will you hear a story?"
"No"
"Can you just say 'yes' for once?" Jungkook has already finished his food
"No"
"I'm still going to tell you the story"
"So what's the point of asking then?" Taehyung moves to sit next to Jungkook. He has finished treating the bruise on his back and he'll treat the wound in the hands.
"You were always disappointed because I never told you about my family. This is the reason. My parents are abusive. This bruised is caused by them." Taehyung doesn't respond, but Jungkook can feel the man he loves tensed up.
"I have an older brother. He has died. Suicide. My parents always abused him for one reason, he was gay. So do I. But I never tell them, and they never found out too. Because I'm afraid that I will experience the same as my brother. I'm such a coward. That's why, at that time, I lied by saying that I was straight. I lied that ... " Jungkook choked up. There is a big lump of regret, guilt, and sorrow on his heart. and it's strangling him.
"Enough. You don't need to continue it. I don't want to hear anything. Let it be, I've erased it from my memory and my life. You don't need to remind me of that nightmare anymore."
Taehyung finishes treating the male's wound.
"Wear your clothes. Soon Min Yoongi will pick you up." He added
"Glad to know that you still save our number. You do not completely remove us from your life."
Taehyung only snort on his words
"You still care about me"
"My parents raised me to be a person of humanity, who always helps others in need. Not someone who doesn't care about the suffering of others. Not to be a person who just stays quiet when he sees someone gets bullied. Not the one who's close his eyes at everything happens around him. I'm glad they raised me that way."
It's stabbed Jungkook right at his heart. He knew he done something awful. And he regrets it so much. If he can, he would retract all the bad things he ever said.
He looks at Taehyung. Look at every inch of his face. At the piercings on his ears and lips. At the glorious tattoo on his neck. The fiery red hair which is perfect for him.
Taehyung stand up to left Jungkook, but
"I heard everything you said last night," it makes Taehyung froze in his spot.
"If you didn't want me to come back to your life, then why did you come here again? You said it's easy for me? No. It's really hard for me too. You don't know how much I regret it, you don't know how much I missed you, You ... "
Jungkook's words were cut off by Taehyung who threw the medicine box into the mirror at the dining room. The mirror is now broken to pieces, the fragments scattered everywhere.
"Shut the fuck up. Didn't I already tell you to not said anything?"
"No, listen to me. Let me explain it to you."
"Explain? Hahaha. Are you kidding me? Everything comes out from your mouth is just to justify your action. Everything is just bullshit" Taehyung is in rage. His face is red and his hands clenched with anger.
"I'm sorry Tae." Jungkook looks at Taehyung with pleading eyes.
"You said it's hard for you? Really? Then tell me how hard is it." Taehyung said in a mocking tone
"My life is so devastated without you. Every day in my life is only you, you mean that much to me. I'm gonna go crazy without you. I keep wanting to give up, I'm ... " He can't speak anymore. Everything he wanted to say is stuck in his throat.
Suddenly Taehyung grabs Jungkook's collar. His eyes throwing a dagger to the raven-haired male.
"Your life is devastated? How about me? Haven't you ever been curious about what I feel? Loving someone to the point where you hate them. Do you know how that feels?
Do you know how I'm doing these past two years? My days were a struggle, even my dreams were painful. I can't even fall asleep, I can't even swallow anything, I can't even breath. I feel like dying. I wish you could be me, I wish you could feel it for just a day. Since that day, my life is a hell. Do you know that?"
Taehyung panted. His chin and lips trembled as he cried. And Jungkook felt the tears fill up his eyes.
Ding Dong... Ding Dong... Ding Dong...
Taehyung releases his grip on Jungkook's collar.
"That's must be Min Yoongi. Leave now. Before I kill you with my own hands.
* * *
* 5 minutes after Jungkook left Taehyung's apartment*
Taehyung's P.O.V
It isn't easy to leave even when it's the only option available.
Just because I let you go, doesn't mean I want it. But it might be better this way. I am afraid to ruin everything if I have to say what I feel.
Until this moment, you are still the reason why my heart doesn't accept anyone else. Because for me, after you, I don't want someone new.
End of I Still Want You [Taekook] Chapter 32. Continue reading Chapter 33 or return to I Still Want You [Taekook] book page.