I Still Want You [Taekook] - Chapter 36: Chapter 36

Berlin - August 2018
No One's P.O.V
"Tae."
"Hmm"
"Why do you bring me here?"
"Didn't you said that you want to meet my parents?"
It's a cemetery
"I always visit here every time I can't bear the separation any longer. This is the place that sends me back to my life." Taehyung said when he walked with Jungkook. In front of them unfold rows of tombstones stood straight in silence to the left and right, like a sea of the dead.
Taehyung and Jungkook stand still, the howl of the wind is all they can hear.
"Hi Dad, Hi Mom. Pardon your son who just visited now." Taehyung said to the cold stones lie beneath him. His breath rising in a visible puff.
"This is Jungkook. You've often heard his name, right?" Jungkook visibly tensing. He doesn't know what to do or what to say.
"Two years ago, when I disappeared from the music show, my father died. He had a heart attack. He accidentally found the news about his only son, about his precious son who lives alone on a faraway land. I don't need to mention what happened to his son, you know better than anyone."
Taehyung looked up at the sky that as brilliantly blue as any other summer day.
"I can recall the details of that day better than any day, it's clearer in my mind more than anything else. It's ripped away a part of me, the part of me that I love the most. That time, when I get home, I place my hand over his chest. But it did not rise or fall, it holds no beating heart. His skin was cold. He already safe and sleeping in his fine casket." Taehyung's voice began to hoarse.
"I wasn't even by his side at the last moment. I can't even say how much I love him, how grateful I am. I can't even say how lucky I am to have him as my father. I can't make him proud yet, but he's gone. My mother was so devastated. Her beloved man, who had been together more than half of her life, left her forever. Her only son got humiliated, insulted, bullied, even threatened with death. For her, there is nothing worse than that. And three days later, my mom left me forever. She died of Stress Cardiomyopathy. An illness caused by sudden emotional stress."
Jungkook is not aware of the tears flowing endlessly on his cheeks.
"I feel lost. I love my parents the most in this world. And knowing that I can never see them, hear them, or touch them ever again kills me from inside. Every day what I always do is just crying. A lot. That time, I really want to die. Every day is torture for me. I just want to end everything. But there, stood my sister who's didn't even shed a single tear.
It quickly came to her that she cannot waste her time grieving when she had to take care of me. She took the rein of our family in her hands. She was determined to fulfil the wishes of my parents that was entrusted on her. And that's what's made me rising strong. She's the reason why I had to survive and fight."
"She despises you so much. She thinks it's all your fault. She even slapped me when she knew I still had your picture."
Jungkook said nothing. The only sound comes from his mouth is his hard sobbing.
Compared to Jungkook, Taehyung is unexpectedly calm.
"No, it's not the reason why I didn't want you back in my life. It's not that I scared of her nor because it's your fault. It's because I don't deserve to love and be loved. In a week, my sister will get married. Will she marry the man she loves? Nope. It's just a business marriage. Managing two global large companies is very difficult for us. But we also can't give up. This company contains our parents' blood, sweat, and tears. Giving up on my dreams and my love life is the least I can do for her."
"Even though my sister blame on you, but's it's not your fault at all. It's my fault. My family's misery, my parents' death, my sister's suffering, it's all because of me. I caused them to die. I kill them, I killed my parents."
Abruptly, Taehyung falls onto his hands and knees. His breathing became more rapid and shallow. His only movement is the trembling of his limbs.
Watching his beloved man collapses on the ground, struggling to regulate his breathing, Jungkook rushed to take Taehyung in his arms.
Taehyung clings to Jungkook, but his body is quivering. He is not in control of his mind or body. His fingers are white-knuckled holding onto Jungkook's shirt. Jungkook tells him that it's not his fault. He tells him over and over, stroking his back and planting kisses on his crown and temple. 'I need him to calm down' is everything that's on Jungkook's mind now.
Suddenly Taehyung starts talking. Talking like he doesn't have enough time to say what he needs to. His words are crowded together and some are missing. His sentences are fragmented. His voice comes out thin and distant, "Fault, kill, no, me, mistake, death, it didn't, that's... not... right..." He starts to gasp like there's not enough oxygen in the air.