I Still Want You [Taekook] - Chapter 65: Chapter 65

Flashback
Seoul - November 2018
No One's P.O.V
Taehyung looks at Jin and Hoseok who was sleeping beside him, leaning on each other.
Taehyung? How could he close his eyes? If every time his beautiful eyes are closed, the image of Jungkook who left always haunting him.
The red-haired man, which has now start to fade, is not fine. He is broken. How he wants to take Jungkook's place to lie in there, fight the death that can take him anytime.
It seems, just a few minutes ago he and Jungkook hug and kiss each other, cuddling in Jungkook's bed, and exchanged words of love. But, fate seems to never side with Taehyung.
Forced to separate from his lover, become the target of bullying, be hated, insulted, even given death threats. Soon after, his father and mother died. then ... then now he also has to part with his loved one?
"Why is God so cruel to me?" Taehyung asked the moon whose light pierced the hallway's window in front of the ICU room.
A middle-aged man with his distinctive white coat left the ICU.
"How's his condition, Doc?" Taehyung slowly walked over to the doctor.
"It's still the same. There is no progress. The only way to save him is to get a heart donor. And that must be as soon as possible because the longer it takes, his condition will get worse. As I have said, if he can't get a donor within a week, most likely he will die. And getting a heart donor in a one-week period is impossible. So I hope you and other family members prepare for the worst."
Taehyung is beyond devastated to hear that. He is broken. Shattered into pieces.
He wants to cry, but he can't. He is already at the highest level of devastation. The highest level of devastated is when you want to cry, but you can't shed tears anymore.
He is not ready to part with Jungkook. Cross it out. He will never be ready to part with Jungkook.
Even after all the pains and tragedies he experienced, he still comes back to Jungkook. And now, will he be separated from him, again?
For real, what he wants now is just a peaceful and happy life, with Jungkook in it. But, life isn't that simple. He should have realized that.
Apparently, his life was already sketched in a prolonged tragedy. After that scandal, his life only consists of drowning in a storm of grief and anguish, which there seems no end.
But, is this tragedy endless?
Taehyung turned to his two sleeping Hyungs.
"Doctor, can I talk together with you? In your room."
"Alright. Follow me, Mr Kim."
"So, what do you want to talk about, sir?" asked the doctor, who Taehyung later found out is named Doctor Kang.
"Please check if I can become a Heart donor for Jungkook."
Doctor Kang is shocked, his mouth gaping, eyes wide.
"Don't be kidding me, Mr Kim."
"Nope. I'm serious"
The man in the white coat takes a deep breath then looks at Taehyung right in his eye.
"Are you going to play Romeo-Juliet right now? Because if yes, it would be full of stupidity. You being a heart donor for him is clearly impossible to do."
"Why? You haven't even checked it. Who knows, maybe I'm suitable to be a donor for Jungkook."
"If you think that die for your love is true love, then you're wrong Mr Kim. Do you really think that he would ever want you dead in his place? Do you think he would happy when he knows that you die because of him?"
"Do you really think that I would ever want to see him die? Do you think I would live peacefully knowing that I can save him but I don't?" Instead of answering, Taehyung asks back, and it makes doctor Kang growling frustratedly.
"Dying for him will never prove your love, it just proves, let's say, your stupidity. You live a healthy life, why do you have to die for someone who is already destined to die? There are a plan and purpose for everyone's life, you should know it."
"Death is inevitable for me."
"So does him."
"I have pancreatic cancer. And as a doctor, you know very well that this disease has no cure and cannot be cured. Sooner or later, I will definitely die. What if the 'someone who is already destined to die', is me? Not Jungkook. You say there are a plan and purpose for everyone's life. And I definitely agree with that. But, what if the purpose of my life is to give Jungkook a second chance to live? What do you know about God's plan, doc?"
Even though his face is pale and looked weak, Taehyung said confidently, starring clearly at the doctor in front of him.
"Both Jungkook and I will die. If you can save one life, why should you let two lives die? After all, we're not sure whether I'm suitable to be a heart donor for Jungkook or not since you haven't check it yet. I beg you with the rest of my life. At least, please check me first. If it is suitable, we will discuss this matter again. Please."
"Okay, we'll start the checking process now because we don't have much time. Follow me to the examination room, Mr Kim."
"Okay, doctor Kang. Thank you."
Taehyung followed the doctor closely behind him. Endlessly praying that God, at least once, gave him a miracle and grant his wish. He only hopes that he would be able to save Jungkook. That's it.
By the way, yes, Taehyung has pancreatic cancer. He found out a year after the death of his parents.
At that time Taehyung experienced severe pain in his abdomen and back until he fainted. His sister took him to the hospital only to find out that his younger brother had pancreatic cancer at later stages and was not eligible for surgery, which means he can't be cured.
Taehyung was, clearly, very broken when he found out. Moreover when he knows that it cannot be cured. It progressives stealthily and rapidly.
'Nobody is tired for the sleep of death', the meaning of the tattoo on his neck. Yes, no one is ready to die. Taehyung had tried suicide several times before, but once he was completely faced with death, he was broken.
Taehyung who get depressed start to change. Smoking weed and getting drunk every day. Taeeun scolds him many times, but Taehyung always answered: "If in the end, I will die, why not just make it faster?"
One day, finally, Taehyung no longer drinks alcohol when he sees his sister, quietly, crying in her room. And Taehyung realized that after all this, his sister suffered the most.
It's not long after she lost her parents and she had to lose his brother, the only family member he had. And she will be alone to face this world.
And more than anything, Taehyung won't let his sister alone in this world. Therefore, he was happy when his sister decided to get married. Although the marriage, at first, was only mere business things, and after some time, they were starting to fall in love with each other. Taehyung is relieved, at least someone would take care of and accompany his sister when, someday, he is no longer able to do it.
But still, he can't stop his habit of smoking weed, he's already addicted. Until he meets Jungkook again.
Even though it seems that he really hates Jungkook, the truth is Taehyung's heart always warms up every time he sees him. Yes, after everything he goes through, after all the heartbreaking he experience, after everything that Jungkook does to him, he is still so in love with that one man who owned his favourite bunny-smile. You can say Taehyung crazy. He doesn't care.
Since then, he began taking therapy to get rid of his addiction to smoking weed.
He is eager to live, simple, only because he wants to see and spend time with Jungkook longer.
Although it can't be cured, Taehyung takes medicines to hide and prevent the yellowing of his skin and eyes.
Taehyung looks thinner day by day, he loses so much weight. And he looks paler. He always told the members, especially Jungkook, that he is just exhausted from overwork.
Even though he realized, that in the end, he would still part with Jungkook. His sister also always reminds him to stay away from Jungkook, because, in the end, they won't end up together, Taehyung will leave and Jungkook will get hurt because of him.
"Just for this once, let me become selfish. I want to spend my last time with him." What Taeeun can do if his brother has begged like that?
But it turns out destiny said that four months after he meets again with Jungkook, he had to part with him again. It's just this farewell is forever.
At least, in the last four months of his life, he is happy. And that's more than enough for Taehyung.
He is ready to go