I Still Want You [Taekook] - Chapter 66: Chapter 66

Seoul - November 2018
No One's P.O.V
"Tae. Eat these. I bought all of this for you." He said excitedly
Taehyung looks at Jimin, his best friend, with an unreadable expression.
Everyone knows that Jimin is his best friend. Nope, for Taehyung, Jimin is more than a best friend, more like a brother. Since Taehyung is dating Jungkook, almost every day he always exchanges messages with Jimin. This best friend of his always sends him an encouraging message and always tell him how's he is so precious. Jimin makes Taehyung loves himself more. And vice versa. That's how close their friendship is. Every time they meet, ah, there's no need to describe it, even sometimes Jungkook is jealous of their friendship.
And Tahyung feels guilty because he hid many things from him. But he's not ready to tell him everything. Maybe he will never be ready.
"Thank you, Jim." Taehyung takes a piece of biscuit and puts it in his mouth
"Hey, why do you only eat biscuits? I even bought your favourite meat."
"I'll eat that later." Taehyung tries to showing his box smile. Try.
His mind is filled with Jungkook, Jungkook, and Jungkook. Only him.
Taehyung recalled the conversation with Jungkook's parents a few minutes ago. He, by his own will, promised that he would leave Jungkook. Ah, even without promising, he will still leave him. forever. How ironic.
Later, after Taehyung 'left', he just wants his lover to be in peace with his parents. He hopes that Mr and Mrs Jeon can accept, support, and love Jungkook for who he is.
"I knew it." Yoongi squatted in front of Taehyung. "I know, earlier, you drive us away because there was something you wanted to talk about with Jungkook's parents, right? You, little sly lion. Since when are you good at lying? Eat. I and Jimin have bought this for you." he hands him a piece of bread.
"Later, Hyung."
Taehyung's looks over at Yoongi who's crouching in front of him with teary eyes.
He didn't have an older brother and he found that figure in his Yoongi Hyung. It was still very clear how he had first met with the pale-skinned man. Thanks to Yoongi he was able to meet with BTS, meet with Jungkook, the love of his life. For Taehyung, Yoongi is the older brother who is always on his side. A brother who always understands what he wants without even asking or being told. Among all the members, except Jungkook, he is the only one who can read him like an open book. He knew that Taehyung hides something, but he chose to remain silent, waiting for Taehyung to tell it himself. Unfortunately, he didn't know that, till the end, Taehyung wouldn't tell him anything. Especially about the pain he suffered.
The red-haired man then looked at the lovers alternately. He won't be able to meet them again.
There is no more Jin Hyung who loves him, even considers Taehyung as his own child, his beloved son. Every time Taehyung misses his mother's cooking, Jin will immediately cook it for his favourite Taebaby.
No more Namjoon Hyung who's so wise. With him always makes Taehyung calm, his mature thoughts really amaze him. He really adores this Hyung. Especially when they are discussing music, oh sometimes Jin has to remind how long they have spent talking.
No more Hoseok Hyung who's so cheerful. How could Taehyung be sad when he was near this Hyung. The sunshine Hyung. His aura always radiates happiness, his smile makes everyone else smile too.
"Kim Taehyung," Jimin said half-snapped.
Taehyung is shocked to see Jimin snapping at him, this is the first time he has been yelled at by Jimin.
The tears that he has been holding back, are now pouring down his cheeks.
No, not because of Jimin's yelling, but because of what he said next.
"Look, you are so limp and pale. If you keep up like this, you can faint. You will get ill. If you continue like this, you won't be here when Jungkook opens his eyes. Get a grip on yourself."
He realizes that this is truly his last time with Jungkook. Either Jungkook is the one who left this world or he would be the one. And he prefers the second choice.
"Jungkook. I only need Jungkook. I want Jungkook. I want him." Taehyung crying hysterically. His shoulders trembling violently, his tears are heartbreaking to anyone who heard it.
He wouldn't have the opportunity to say goodbye to Jungkook. He won't have the last chance to say how much he loves him, and how much he means to him.
Every time Taehyung felt insecure about their relationship, Jungkook always said "We are together, and it's enough"
But now, they would never be together again.
* * *
"Hyung, I'll go to the bathroom," Taehyung told Yoongi. Jimin is asleep, leaning on the shoulder of his lover.
"I'll go with you."
"No need, Hyung. Look, Jimin is sleeping soundly. You can't wake him up. I'm fine. Besides, the bathroom is not so far from here."
"Okay then. Bring your cellphone so you can call me if something happens or if there is something you need."
"Yes, Hyung."
Once again, he lies. He just got a message from Doctor Kang who said that the results of the examination had come out.
"Excuse me," Taehyung knocked on the door of doctor Kang's office
"Please come in. Oh, hello Mr Kim."
"So, how's the result?"
Instead of answering, doctor Kang just looks at Taehyung and the results sheets alternately. Shake his head weakly for several times. Stare at Taehyung again. Sigh. Staring back at a piece of paper in his hand. Then close his eyes for a few seconds, before finally saying
"This is a miracle, a miracle from heaven. How can your heart fit the patient so well?"
"Really?" Taehyung exclaiming
"Yes. You can see for yourself, sir." he handed the sheet to Taehyung
"Thank God. It means I can donate my heart to Jungkook, right?" Taehyung smiled broadly, his face beaming. In so much contrast with his hysterical cries a few hours ago. He looks too happy for someone who will face death.
Taehyung is so relieved that Jungkook has a chance to recover, has the chance to live again healthily. Forgetting the fact that his life is in exchange.
"Even though your heart is suitable, but not necessarily a heart donor can be done."
"Why?" A disappointed look is clearly visible on Taehyung's face.
"First. You have cancer. We have to check first whether your cancer has already spread to the heart or not. If it has spread to the heart, then surely the donor cannot be done."
"I can confirm that my cancer hasn't spread to the heart. A few days ago I just had my routine check up. My doctor said that my cancer had only spread to my liver and lungs. You can check it again if you don't believe me."
"Second. You're still alive Mr Kim. Heart donors are carried out by those who have brain death. There is no hope of life for them, but they haven't died, so their hearts are still functioning properly."
"But that doesn't mean that only those who can do it, I can. My heart is also still functioning properly. There is no hope for life? Do you think I still have that hope? Sooner or later I will die because of this illness I suffer."
"Doing a donor heart from someone who is still alive violates medical regulations."
"As long as I, as a donor, do it with my own will isn't that okay?"
Doctor Kang is frustrated about how to deal with Taehyung, who turns out, is very stubborn
"Does your family know about this? Be sure that your family knows of your wishes too, since they may be asked to give consent."
The family? How does Taeeun feel about this? How should Taehyung tell this to his sister? Can his sister accept this decision? Does he have to leave her as soon as this?
"I haven't told my sister yet. But I'll make sure that she will come here during the operation to give her approval."
Doctor Kang is still unsure about this.
"Why are you still unsure about this, doctor? Didn't you say this is a miracle? If you refuse to do this donor, it means you let Jungkook die. You know you can save him, but you choose to silently watch him die. Shouldn't a doctor do anything he can to save his patient? "
Taehyung tried to convince doctor Kang to approve this heart donor. No matter what, he couldn't withdraw his decision. He is determined to donate his heart to Jungkook. At all cost. Even though it means he has to die.
"If you refuse this donor, two people will die. Me and Jungkook. It would be nice if you could save one of them, and we know that it's impossible to cure my illness. You know what the best choice is, doctor. "
Doctor Kang closes his eyes while taking a deep breath.
"You said that registering usually takes place many years before donation becomes possible. And you also say that it's difficult to find the right heart donor. Right now, I have a heart which medically suitable for patients. No need to wait for years, I can instantly give my heart to him. As you said, this is a miracle. A miracle is given by God to save Jungkook. "
The middle-aged doctor looks at Taehyung deeply. Trying to find even a speck of doubt in that eye, but what he found is a determination of a lover who wants to fight to save his other half.
"Very few of us die in a way that lets us share the gift of life. And I want to be one of them."
"Alright. Give me time to think about that. I'll give you the decision tonight, Mr Kim. Because I need to discuss with other doctors too."
"Thank you, doctor. I'll wait for it. Hopefully, this donor can be done. And if so, I hope you will keep this as a secret from anyone."
After saying his greeting, Taehyung immediately goes back to Yoongi and Jimin.
"Where have you been, Kim Taehyung?" Jimin, who has woken up from his sleep, asked him
"Um. Bathroom." his answer sounds like a question instead.
"Another hospital bathroom? The bathroom at a hospital in Jeju? Do you think you can lie to us? Almost an hour since you go."
Taehyung laughs sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, Hyung. I went around for a while for fresh air."
"You make me so worried. Come here." Jimin pulls Taehyung to sit next to him, then leaned Taehyung's head on his shoulder. "Take a rest."
"Thank you, Jimin, Yoongi Hyung."
When evening came, Jin, Namjoon, and Hoseok arrived at the hospital to take turns watching Jungkook.
They then discuss Taehyung's departure to Germany and Yoongi who insists on going with his younger brother.
Their discussion is stopped by the presence of Doctor Kang who had just finished checking Jungkook's condition.
"Jeon Jungkook's family,"
Taehyung who has been silent, since a few hours ago, rushed over to the doctor. "We. We are the family of Jeon Jungkook."
The doctor pats Taehyung's shoulder while smiling. "He will be safe."
Taehyung falls into Jimin's arms. "Thank God. Thank You."
* * *
After Doctor Kang leaves, who had explained about the heart donor and its process, and after the happy cry and hugs of the members, Taehyung finally said goodbye to return to Germany.
Ah, cross it out. Only Taehyung knows that he said goodbye to them, forever. And that honestly make Taehyung reluctant to leave this place quickly.
Even though they had separated for two years without communication at all, being separated as far as the sun when they used to be as close as the vein in the body, but it never changes the fact that their hearts are close to each other.
The five members stand around Taehyung.
"Hyung, I entrust Jungkook to you. Please take care of him for me." Tears trickled down Taehyung's beautiful eyes.
"Hey why are you crying my dear," Jin hugged Taehyung's frail body
"Of course we will definitely take care of Jungkook." Hoseok said trying to calm him down "after all, you will be back here when the operation is taking place, right?" he added
"Of course I will be here. I have to be here." Taehyung shows his box smile
"Promise me Hyung, as long as I'm not here, as long as I'm not beside him, please take care of Jungkook."
'and always make sure he is happy,' said Taehyung. But no one hears it, because he doesn't utter the sentence and keep it for himself.
Taehyung then hugs the members one by one.
Thank you, Jimin. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for always understanding and encouraging me. I'm sorry for always being in the receiving end.
Thank you, Hoseok Hyung. Thank you for teaching me how to always be positive. Thank you for always making me smile even at the worst times.
Thank you, Namjoon Hyung. Thank you for being a good example for me. Thank you for teaching me how to be a mature person.
Thank you, Jin Hyung. Thank you for always bringing laughter and making my life more colourful. Thank you for every tenderness and kindness that you show and give to me.
Then Taehyung looks at Yoongi then hugs him. The first member he met, and the last member he hugged.
Thank you Yoongi Hyung. Thank you because you're always by my side. Thank you because you can always give me a reason to stand up and fight. Thank you for meeting me five years ago in that park.
Taehyung had wiped his eyes so much they were red and swollen, but tears can't stop tickling his cheek.
He stares at the door of the ICU room that separated him from Jungkook.
I love you.
"Goodbye, Hyung. Take good care of yourself."
"Hey, you're the one who has to take care of yourself. Have a safe flight and see you again." Jin strokes Taehyung's hair lovingly.
Taehyung slowly walks backwards, waving to the Hyungs. One step, two steps, three steps, ... fifteen steps, finally Taehyung turns around and doesn't look back.
"Goodbye, everyone. Nice to know you. Thank you for being a part ofmy life."