Ice Cold - Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Wren Ridley
I was following the cracks in the sidewalk, somewhere in Providence between Brown and my favorite coffee shop, when I bumped into him. The cracks zig zagged across the pavement, forming a sort of natural map in the earth with greenery growing through them. They were my mile markers, how I knew how far I had gone and how far I had left to go.
I never used to run, hating the feeling of my chest getting heavy and my breath picking up as I went on. As I started doing it more, I grew to love it.
It was part of an escape from my life. My headphones in my ears blocked out the world around me and left me to my own thoughts. And that did nothing to stop my constant overthinking. But I loved the solitude. Being able to overthink without anyone else noticing. It was like I had tunnel vision, only staring straight ahead.
It would make sense if I physically ran into people more often, but it had never happened until now. I collided with a body, sending us both backward and knocking the other guy on the ground.
"Watch where you're going asshole," the guy spat, glaring up at me as he shoved himself off the ground.
I took one earbud out and held my hand up to my ear as if I was having trouble hearing him.
"What was that?" I asked, though I had heard him perfectly.
"I said watch where the fuck you're going," he replied in a sharp tone, his eyes looking as if they were trying to pierce my skin.
I couldn't help but notice the guy looked incredibly familiar and it only took me about two more seconds to figure out why. The guy standing in front of me was Landon, at least I thought that was his name. Or was it Lance? No, Landon.
I never forgot faces, but names were a different story.
I never really knew Landon personally, only from the times he had tried beating up my brother in some homophobic rage back when they were in high school. And for that, I wasn't very fond of the kid.
"Well, you'll just have to get out of my way next time," I told him with a shrug. This only seemed to anger him more.
"Or you could not run people over in the middle of the park," he answered through gritted teeth.
I just shrugged again. "Don't wanna get run over, then move out of the way."
Landon tightly set his jaw, but his expression softened as he stared at me. A look of realization settled on his face.
"I know you from somewhere," he said in a slow voice, pointing at me like he was trying to place where he knew me from. "I just don't know where."
"Can't help you with that," I told him, putting my earbud back in and jogging away before the boy said anything else.
I finished my route and headed back to my dorm just as James was waking up. My roommate was never one to wake up early, and he always complained about me being too loud when I got back from my morning runs.
James and I didn't exchange any words as I began stripping from my running clothes. He watched me from where he sat on his bed, running his fingers through his hair.
"Hey, Wren," he started, causing me to turn and face him after throwing my shirt into my hamper. "Do you wanna fuck?"
I snorted out a laugh and shook my head, continuing to take off my clothes.
"It's, like, nine in the morning," I told him, grabbing my things for a shower. "It's a little early for that."
James shrugged. "I can't help when I wanna do it."
I shook my head at him, going toward the door.
"Take care of it yourself," I said before leaving the room to go to the shower.
James and I didn't have sex often. It only happened a few times, but he was the first guy I had ever been with. I had a feeling about my sexuality for a long time, especially when I was suspecting my brother, Fox, was not straight. But it wasn't until I got to college, and got with James, that I knew for sure.
I quickly washed myself in the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist as I headed back to the dorm room. When I got in there, Stella was standing over James's bed and hitting him with my pillow.
Stella was one of the first people I met at Brown, aside from James. They were the only two people I could spend a lot of time with here. Everyone else I could only take in small doses.
Without saying a word, I shut the door and opened up my closet before quickly changing into some new clothes. Stella paused from hitting James to turn and look at me as I buttoned my pants.
"Are you ready to go get some food or what?" she asked me with her eyebrows raised, pillow held up in the air.
"I guess," I told her, throwing on a shirt after putting some deodorant on then closing my closet door. "But I have class in, like, half an hour."
"Let's go," she said, throwing the pillow back onto my bed. "He says he's skipping today."
I shook my head at James as he rolled over to face the wall. We were only two weeks into the fall semester and he was already skipping classes. I wasn't going to tell him how irresponsible it was of him, but he would soon be staying up all hours of the night trying to catch up just like he had done the year before.
Stella and I left the dorms, walking down the brick pathway toward the closest dining hall.
"So what's the plan for this weekend?" Stella asked, her short legs moving fast to keep up with me.
I shrugged. "I might go home."
Stella let out a frustrated groan, looking at me with an irritated expression.
"That's lame!" she exclaimed. "We're on weekend number two and you're already going home?"
"My parents are going through heavy children withdrawals," I told her with a sigh.
She gave me a strange look. "Aren't your other siblings home?"
I shook my head. "My oldest brother is at UCLA, my older sister moved into an apartment with her school friends, and my younger brother is in his first year of college. They went from having four kids at home to two."
Mom and Dad had been blowing up my phone ever since I went off to school. They were probably doing it to the others as well, but it was most realistic that I would be able to go home.
Raven moved out over the summer. She wasn't far, but she was definitely enjoying the independence she never got since she commuted to college. Robin was too far away to come home, but it wasn't like he would even if he was closer. And Fox was in his first year and he was all alone in the city with his boyfriend, so we probably wouldn't see him for a while.
That left me getting their daily texts and questions asking me when I would be home next.
"You'd think they'd be happy with all you guys finally leaving," Stella joked as we made it to the dining hall.
"They're definitely not," I said, opening the door for her.
The dining hall always smelled of the same greasy foods in the morning. It made me miss home more than I'd like to admit. The food here was no match for Dad's cooking.
Stella and I walked through the room and grabbed plates. I waited in line for an omelet while she went over and made herself a waffle.
"I think you should stay tonight and go out with us and go home tomorrow," Stella suggested as we sat down with our food. "It's not like you drink anyway. You won't have a hangover."
I contemplated her words as I took a bite of my omelet. Stella always had a reasoning for everything and she could convince anyone of almost anything. She tried to use her charms on me, and sometimes I fell for them.
"Come on, Wren," she said. "We could find you a cute guy, me a cute girl, have a little fun."
She wiggled her eyebrows, trying to entice me to give in.
"Maybe I'll stay," I said and to that, Stella let out a squeal of excitement. "But it's not because of you, I just want to get laid."
"That's good enough for me!"
And so I did stay.
***
Landon Reilly
My morning had been going like the rest of my life had been. Inconvenient, painful, and annoying.
The side of my leg throbbed from where I fell after that stupid asshole knocked me down. The pain in my leg slowed me down, and now I was running behind schedule. I made it back to my dorm later than I would have liked and still had to get ready for class.
As I was gathering my things, my phone rang from my pocked and I let out a heavy sigh when I saw the caller ID before answering it.
"Yes Micah?" I answered, not even bothering to keep the annoyance out of my tone.
"Just checking up on you," he said in a light tone like he always did.
Sometimes I felt bad for Micah always having to put up with my shitty attitude. He and his family had taken me in when I needed them most, but I still wasn't used to people genuinely caring about me. That was why I was agitated every time Micah or one of his parents called me with their sickly sweet voices just to check up on me.
"I'm doing pretty much the same since we talked last night," I told him, this time trying to calm my voice as I held my phone between my shoulder and my ear and gathered my things.
"You just seemed kinda off last night," Micah commented.
I was always off by Micah's standards. Because to him, if I wasn't happy and polite, I was "off."
"I'm fine," I assured him, putting him on speaker so I could change my clothes.
"Did you still want to take the train up to Boston this weekend?" he asked me.
I had to hold in my sigh. Micah and I had just spoken about this the night before. I had already told him my plans hadn't changed and that I would be going up to his school for the weekend. He was just worried that I would lock myself in my room all weekend if I stayed in Providence.
"You remember you have to get off at Back Bay and then get on the Green line at Copley?" Micah reminded me.
"Yes, Micah, I know," I replied. "It's not that hard to figure out."
"I just don't want you getting lost," he said.
"I'm not going to get lost."
I had finished getting dressed and gathered my things for class, then quickly left my room with my phone to my ear.
"Is that all you wanted?" I asked him as I left the building and headed toward my first class.
"I just wanted to check in," he reminded me. "You know, you can call me sometimes. Instead of me always calling you."
I rolled my eyes. "Maybe I would if you waited more than twelve hours between phone calls."
"Fine, I'll just not call you and wait for you to call me," Micah said, though his tone wasn't angry like his words seemed.
And I knew he was bluffing as soon as he said it. If I didn't call Micah by tomorrow night, he'd be calling me the next day.
"I'm running late to class, Micah, I gotta go," I said in a rushed tone as I ran up the stone steps toward the academic building.
"Okay," he replied. "Call me whenever."
I hung up the phone and slid it back into my pocket as I entered the academic building behind a group of girls.
By the time I made it to the classroom, the only seats that were left were toward the front of the room. I desperately looked around to find one toward the back, but I had no luck.
I dragged my feet to the front of the room, taking a seat at the end of the aisle next to a girl with a giant binder taking up most of the space between us on the table.
The people here had no manners. That was something I quickly learned on my first week of college. It was almost like a continuation of high school only with a bunch of unsupervised kids posing as adults. That was what it felt like in the dorms with people making a mess of the halls and being loud at all hours of the night.
Luckily, my roommate and I largely ignored each other. I opted not to room with anyone from the hockey team and instead chose to go random.
It was better that way. I didn't know if being with the hockey team 24/7 would be good for me and I didn't want to socialize that much anyway.
Here it was easier for be to fall into the background, and I couldn't tell if I preferred it that way. I was used to being the leader on my team and now I was some freshman that probably won't even get ice time. But there was no one looking to me to follow my lead, no one to fuel me in my brash actions.
No one that knew anything about me. And I preferred it that way. I wanted to melt into the background and go as unnoticed as possible.
That was the only way I'd make it through the year.