Ice Cold - Chapter 15: Chapter 15

Landon Reilly
I saw him in the morning some time during the week. The sun was still in its early stages in the sky, its light shining over the trees, its brightness blinding. He was running with his earbuds in, probably listening to some audiobook with an obscure title that only he knew the meaning of.
And when he passed by me with nothing more than a glance, I tried not to let that affect me like how holding his hand affected me. The feeling of his soft hand in my rough one was something I never felt before, something I never thought I could feel.
I had convinced myself it was just confusion and another unnameable feeling. I was just confused because I had never held another man's hand before, let alone in public, and never thought I would. That action alone was plaguing me. It was something I never imagined for myself, something I never desired, yet it felt like I had been missing out on it all this time.
And for Wren it was nothing. It would be the same for him as holding James's hand or the hand of the man that hit on him that night. He didn't have my father screaming at him in his mind that he was worthless and disgusting and wrong. And he definitely never thought about it again after the fact.
So I forced myself to think of anything else other than that night. Forget about Wren and the way he wanted to push my buttons, the way he wanted to change me to be like him and his friends. Forget about the way his hand felt in mine and the way that feeling ingrained itself in me. And forget that I did that to myself, that I ran to him and his friends like I would find more comfort there than I would facing Cooper.
I threw a wrench in my new routine and avoided the coffee shop I knew Wren would be at, and instead I turned around and ran back to campus, giving myself more time to get ready before class. If I went face to face with Wren right now, he would see right through me. He would know all my thoughts and my feelings by just looking at me and observing.
Kyle was already gone by the time I got back to the room. I quickly changed out of my clothes and checked my phone for the time and was then greeted by two text messages from Micah.
From: Micah
Hi, just checking in. Call me soon :)
Also heard your first game went well!
I sighed and debated whether or not I should give Micah a call. Part of me felt guilty for not keeping up with him after he agreed to call me less, but he was someone that could see through me too, and I didn't want to deal with that this morning. So I sent him a text instead.
To: Micah
Call you later
I got to class early and found an empty spot in the back corner of the room where hopefully no one would want to sit next to me. I had overlooked the fact that Jess was in this class, and she looked for me as soon as she got in the room, then sat down beside me. She waved and let out a "Hi" while I just nodded at her in response. Her face fell a little and she didn't say anything to me for the rest of class. That was until she caught up with me after class let out and matched my pace so that we were walking together.
"Are you okay, Landon?" she asked. She looked genuinely concerned. Her mouth was set in a frown and her eyes were widened slightly like she was trying to find some injury that wasn't there.
"Fine," I said, nodding my head at her.
She continued frowning and following me.
"Well, if you want to talk about anything, you can talk to me. We're friends, right?"
"We're not friends," I said without thinking. Jess's frown deepened and she looked just as hurt as concerned.
"Did I do something?" she asked.
I sighed, glancing down at Jess as we continued walking. I shouldn't have said anything. I should have just said okay and went on my way, but I wasn't thinking straight and now she wasn't going to let this go.
"I'm sorry if I did anything," Jess added after I didn't respond. "I guess I'll see you around."
I nodded again at Jess and she turned and walked off.
I didn't have time to dwell on Jess and whether or not I made her feel like shit and if I felt guilty about it.
The rest of the week went by pretty much the same. I avoided Jess during class, I avoided Wren in the mornings, and I avoided Cooper everywhere. I even attempted avoiding calling Micah, but he eventually blew up my phone until I had to answer just to get him to stop.
He had nothing much to say and didn't ask me much of anything either. I probably would have just hung up if he did.
The hockey team had another scrimmage which we won. Rojas kept telling me he thought I would be starting once the season officially started, but I didn't want to get my hopes up about it.
It was now Friday night and practice had just let out. I gathered my things while the rest of the team went off to the showers like I had been all week now. Only this time, I was not left alone in the locker room with an easy escape. This time, Cooper stayed behind, looked around the room to make sure we were alone, and made his way over to me.
"Reilly," he said. His voice was low and urgent like if he didn't say what he needed to say to me, there would be consequences. Maybe there would be. Who knew. But I didn't want to stay to find out.
I started to leave the locker room, but Cooper grabbed my arm to stop me. I glared at him but he didn't release me.
"The only reason I haven't beat the shit out of you is because it would get me kicked off the team," I snapped, ripping my arm out of his grasp.
"You're not going to tell anyone about... about what happened, are you?" he asked, looking stressed.
I didn't answer him.
"Because I..." Cooper trailed. "I've never done anything like that before. I don't know what came over me."
"I'm not going to tell anyone because I don't want anyone to know about it," I seethed. "And you're going to leave me the fuck alone from now on."
Cooper frantically nodded and I left the room without another word.
I was so angry, I wanted to punch something. I wanted to get drunk and forget, but the only place I knew I could do that was going to be filled with the hockey team in a couple of hours.
I was so mad I wasn't thinking straight. I texted Wren.
To: Wren
Are you driving home tonight
From: Wren
I wasn't planning on it. Why?
To: Wren
Never mind
From: Wren
You have me interested now.
And it just so happens I am going to be driving home tonight. Do you need a ride?
To: Wren
Do you know your the most annoying person in the world
From: Wren
Do you know that it's you're not your?
I'll pick you up in half an hour.
I didn't have the energy to argue with him, and I did actually want to leave campus for the weekend, so I gathered my things and packed a bag before Wren texted me to let me know he was outside my building.
I slowly made my way down the stairs and to Wren's car, looking around to ensure I wouldn't bump into any of my teammates.
Wren beeped the horn as soon as I walked outside as if I wouldn't recognize his car and notice it was parked right outside my building. I glared at him and scurried down the path and to the car.
He had an impatient look on his face when I opened the door and threw my things into the back. He was sitting in silence, not even an audiobook was playing through the speakers.
"What?" I snapped. Wren was just staring at me after I put my seatbelt on, the car staying put on the curb.
"Well?" he asked. "Are you going to tell me why you needed my services tonight?"
I shot him a disgusted look. "Do not call it your 'services.'"
"Is that not what it is?"
My eyes narrowed. "You know what that sounds like."
Wren grinned. "Yeah, I do."
Wren looked freshly showered. His hair was damp and pushed back on his head like he had been running his fingers through it. He smelled clean and minty.
He moved his hand down to the shifter and put the car in drive. My eyes followed his hand, observed how delicate it looked, and I remembered how that hand felt in mine. My cheeks flushed and I looked away. The last thing I needed was Wren finding out how much that had affected me. He would never let me live that down.
"So, where to?" Wren asked, finally pulling away from the curb.
"My house," I said, leaning my head against the window.
"You texted me just because you wanted to go to your house?" Wren asked, sounding as if he didn't believe me.
And I guess that wasn't the whole truth. It wasn't that I wanted to go to the Hanson's, it was that I wanted to get away from campus, away from the hockey team, away from Cooper. And Wren was my only way to get home unless I paid for an insanely expensive Uber ride that I most definitely couldn't afford.
"I was in bed, cozy, and reading when I got your text," Wren said. "I expected a little more from you."
"Well, you didn't have to do that," I snapped. "So, don't act like you're owed something from me just because you decided to drive me home because you wanted to be nosy and get some sick entertainment from the shit that goes on in my life!"
Wren was silent for a moment, like my outburst had stunned him. I glanced over at him. His lips were pressed together tightly and I couldn't tell if that was because he was holding back from saying something or for a different reason entirely. He had both hands gripping the steering wheel like he was afraid it would fall off if he let go of it.
"I don't get entertainment from it," Wren told me. "What you would call nosy, I would call naturally curious. But it's not entertaining. I'm not that sadistic."
Wren was a liar, and I knew that, but I couldn't help but feel like he was being sincere. He seemed softer at this moment, almost like he felt guilty, but I knew that couldn't be the case.
"I just need to get away from there sometimes," I admitted with a sigh. "It can be too much."
"You need to get away from your friends who aren't actually your friends?"
"I guess."
Wren and I were silent for the rest of the ride. He didn't put on any of his stupid books, though I didn't think I would mind if he did. It was just something I expected from him now.
I fought with my mind about bringing up how I saw him at the beginning of the week and the two of us didn't acknowledge each other. I didn't know why that bothered me. Wren didn't strike me as the type that would acknowledge even his own mother in public if he didn't want to. My mind was just confused with the things I had been feeling since that night at the club.
I snuck a look at him and quickly looked away before he noticed, hoping he wasn't reading my mind.
When Wren pulled up outside my house, all the lights were off and only Matthew's car was in the driveway. I didn't know Anne and Matthew wouldn't be home tonight, but at least I wouldn't have to field their questions about why I was coming home this weekend and if everything was alright at school. They were involved parents with Micah, but they tried to give me space. However, if I kept unexpectedly showing up at their house, they would get suspicious that something was wrong.
I grabbed my bag from Wren's back seat and opened the door to get out.
"Thanks," I muttered, leaving the car without looking back.
I walked up to the house, patting my pockets for my house key. I still hadn't found it by the time I got to the door, so I started digging through my backpack. I must have been out there for at least a full two minutes before I let out a loud curse, realizing I didn't have the house key and I must have left it at school.
"Fuck!" I exclaimed again, throwing my bag down on the porch.
"Locked out?" Wren asked from behind me. I jumped at the sound of his voice, not realizing he hadn't left yet.
"Why the fuck are you still here?" I asked. I was too pissed off to deal with him.
"I was waiting for you to get inside," he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "But it seems like you're locked out, considering you sat out here for five minutes looking through your things and you're still not in the house."
"Okay, I'm locked out," I said, testing the windows closest to me to see if any were unlocked. "You can go now. I'll find a way in."
"Or you could just stay the night at my place," Wren offered like it was the most simple solution.
"Yeah, that's not happening," I replied, going down the porch steps. Wren followed me down as I rounded the house, testing all the ground floor windows.
"It's not like you haven't stayed with me before," he said. "And you're definitely not going to find an open window."
"I stayed with you when I was drunk and couldn't even walk on my own," I said, pulling at another window. "That's different. I'm not willingly staying with you."
We were at the back of the house now. I stood with my hands on my hips, looking up at the bedroom windows.
"But I thought we were boyfriends?" Wren said with a snarky grin.
My head snapped toward him and I shot him a glare. My heart pounded and I didn't know why. It was like every time I looked at him, I remembered holding his hand in that club, how it felt, not being afraid of anyone seeing. But that was the club, that was the only place I would ever feel like that. And my mind was messed up thinking it had anything to do with whose hand I was holding. But I looked at him and it felt like it had everything to do with whose hand it was.
"Shut the fuck up and go away," I said after a stunned moment, shaking my head to rid my thoughts of Wren.
I moved toward the house, trying to figure out a way I could climb up to one of the second floor windows. I was almost sure my bedroom window would be unlocked. It was just a matter of climbing up there.
"Please don't tell me you're thinking of climbing up the side of the house," Wren called out from behind me.
"Go away," I said again.
"Yeah, no," Wren said and suddenly he was directly behind me, so close we were nearly touching. "I'll leave, then I'll wake up tomorrow to the news of some kid dead on the ground because he fell off his house trying to break into it."
"I'll take that chance."
"You consider dying, or at least being severely injured, a better alternative to just sleeping at my house?"
"Kind of."
"And you think I'm the strange one?"
I ignored him, climbing onto the railing of the back porch. Wren was right behind me, looking up as I steadied myself.
"Come on, Lance, don't be stupid," he said.
"You're stupid," I told him.
I moved to try to figure out where I could climb to next, but Wren's hand around my ankle stopped me. I looked down at me and he had a stern expression I had never seen on him before.
"Seriously, get down," he said. His grip on my ankle was tight, but not to the point of hurting me.
"Stop touching me!" I didn't want the feeling of his skin on mine. It clouded my mind.
"Landon," Wren said, his grip tightening.
My name sounded so strange coming from him. It didn't even sound like my own name.
He was stern and serious, not willing to let me go until I got down. I could just kick him in the face to lose his grip, but I didn't. The two of us stared at each other until, ultimately, he won.
I sighed. "Fine."
He let go of my ankle and I jumped down from the railing in front of him. His stern look was gone and he looked more like himself as I faced him.
"Now, that was dramatic," he said, starting down the porch steps. I watched him as he went.
Wren turned around. "Come on, Lance, let's go."
He motioned for me to follow him, and begrudgingly, I did.