Ice Cold - Chapter 19: Chapter 19

Landon Reilly
We won our last away game, our first win of the season, and while all the guys on the team were happy about that, I was happier about being able to go back home.
We didn't get back to campus until late Saturday night. I was exhausted from travel, yet still too wired to fall asleep. Kyle came back into the room around two in the morning and I was still lying in bed, staring at the ceiling.
Kyle left the light off as he moved through the room, assuming I was asleep.
"You can turn the light on," I said, glancing over at him.
"Oh, you're awake." The light turned on and I squinted at Kyle as my eyes adjusted.
"Yeah," I said, groaning as I stretched out. "Can't sleep."
"Well, at least you have all day tomorrow to just chill out," he said, moving toward his closet to change. I looked away from him, staring back at the ceiling. "Unless... you're going to Stella's tomorrow right?"
I looked over at him now that he was dressed.
"I was planning on it." With the hope of Wren being there. I didn't know when I started hoping to see Wren. Whenever it changed from hoping to avoid him to hoping to see him was lost on me. I wasn't going to think too much about it.
"I would go but I have other plans," Kyle said. "And I was just hanging out with her today."
"At her place?" I asked before I could stop myself. "With Jess and... Wren? And James."
"Just Stella, Jess, and James," he replied. "James said Wren was watching porn or something."
"He's just always working on his computer," I said and mentally cursed at myself. I shouldn't care about what Wren was doing and I definitely shouldn't be explaining his actions to my roommate so he wouldn't think he was some weird porn addict.
Kyle just shrugged and turn the light off, using his phone light to guide him over to his bed before climbing in.
It wasn't until around four in the morning that I actually fell asleep and it wasn't for long. I was awake by eight, my internal clock deciding for me that I couldn't sleep in. I quietly got out of bed and got changed for my run, seeing the running pants Wren had let me borrow as I rummaged through my drawer. I should've returned those to him by now.
After getting changed, I left the dorm and started on my running route. My mind was everywhere as I went through campus. There were very few people out at this time, most of the student body probably having been out all night the night before. I hadn't even remembered to bring my headphones, but that didn't bother me like I thought it would.
Listening to the birds chirping, the water running, the wind blowing the leaves around, it was peaceful.
I was almost at the coffee shop when I saw a familiar face running my way. I slowed down to a stop, meeting him in the middle. It surprised me that he even stopped, taking both his airpods out of his ears.
"Hi," I greeted breathlessly.
"Hi," Wren replied with a grin. "You missed me?"
I rolled my eyes. "You wish."
"It seems like you did," Wren said.
"You're making that up."
Wren shrugged. "Maybe I am."
It was hard trying to deny my attraction to him anymore. He looked good, he always did. Especially in this state where he was slightly breathless and sweaty, putting all sorts of images in my head.
Wren looked me up and down and it didn't even cause me to want to shrivel up and hide. I wanted him to look at me. I wanted to know that I wasn't the only one with this attraction. He was a lot less shy about it, didn't care what I thought about him.
"Are you running to get coffee?" I asked. "We could... go there together or something. If you want." I could practically feel the color rise on my cheeks. And by the smug look on his face, I could tell Wren saw it too.
"I would love to, you know I would," Wren started. "But I have to get going, I'm afraid. I'm very busy today."
"Oh."
"Yes, so I'll have to give you a rain check on that date."
I frowned at him. "I wasn't asking you on a date. I was just saying—"
"I know what you were saying," he cut me off. "You're cute when you're all pouty. I'll see you around."
And with that, he was gone before I had time to even formulate a response. I was not pouting. Although, I did have to actively force myself to keep from frowning as I finished my run and headed into the coffee shop.
I didn't care if Wren didn't have time to come with me. I didn't. Knowing him, he was probably just messing with me because I asked. But I didn't care. I could get coffee and sit in our usual spot without him.
Anthony was at the counter as usual when I walked in.
"Wren's not in yet," Anthony said as I walked up.
"Oh, uh, yeah," I awkwardly replied. "He's not coming."
"Oh," Anthony said, squinting in confusion. "Okay. Want your usual?"
I nodded and gave Anthony my card to pay. He tried it a couple times then looked up at me.
"It's declining," he said in a quiet voice.
"Oh shit," I said, digging into my pockets to find some cash. Of course, I had none. "Never mind then."
I turned to walk away just as Anthony called out to me.
"Don't worry about it. It's on me," he said sending the order through.
The action made me uncomfortable. I didn't want to be handed anything, especially not after my card embarrassingly declined over a four dollar cup of coffee.
"Nah, I'm all set." My voice was tight as I tried not to snap at Anthony.
"Too late. I already put it through," he said with a grin.
I glared at him.
"Oh no, you're an angry customer because last time we fucked up your coffee. Here's one on the house to make up for it."
"I don't want anything for free," I said through gritted teeth.
"Then I'll just charge Wren for it next time he's in," Anthony said with a shrug. "He deserves it for being so goddamn annoying."
I cringed at that and before I knew it, my name was being called out for my drink.
Anthony gestured toward the drink and I grabbed it, grumbling a "thanks" before heading over to my usual table. This time I sat in the seat that Wren usually occupied. While the seat I usually sat in had my back to the rest of the coffee shop, Wren's seat had a view of the whole thing. I wondered if he did that on purpose and sat here just analyzing everyone that walked in. Maybe that was what he was obsessively working on on his computer every time he was in here, running notes on everyone he saw.
I sipped on my coffee while texting with Micah about hockey and school. It went like most of our conversations which was just him obviously checking in on me but acting like that wasn't what he was doing and then saying he wished I called him more like he was my grandmother or something. I appreciated Micah and everything he has done for me, but he sometimes acted like more of a parent to me than anything.
As I was texting Micah, another message showed up on my screen.
From: Wren
Are you going to be at Stella's tonight?
To: Wren
i was thinking about it
Why
He didn't answer for a few minutes and I began to lose hope that he would. Then as I finished my coffee, he replied.
From: Wren
She said you were and I didn't believe her.
To: Wren
Does it matter
From: Wren
I suppose not.
I wasn't going to ask him if he was going to be there. He would have too much fun with that, with knowing that I wanted him there, that I wanted to see him. That was the thing with Wren. If you amused him in anyway, he would take it and run with it. He probably already knew anyway.
So, instead of answering Wren, I got up and threw out my cup, waving goodbye to Anthony as I left the coffee shop and walked back to campus to go to the fitness center. I spent a couple of hours in there lifting weights and other exercises. Once I was done in there, I went back to the dorm to shower and work on homework while I waited to go over to Stella's.
Stella messaged me the time she was having people over, so at around eight, I left my dorm and took the bus toward Brown. I got off at the campus and walked toward the dorm building, having to wait outside for a few minutes to go in behind somebody else when they unlocked the door.
I somehow remembered exactly where to go despite not having been there many times. I slowly walked up the stairs, suddenly feeling anxious about the whole thing. Anxious about being around people I didn't really consider friends, around people I didn't know, seeing Jess. Seeing Wren.
I could have just turned around and gone back to campus. No one there would even care if I actually showed up. I could just leave, tell Stella something came up if she asked about it. It's not like I'd be missed if I didn't show. No one was relying on me to be there and if I didn't want to go I didn't have to.
But my feet continued carrying me up the steps, passing by other students who were on their way down looking like they were already drunk.
When I got up to Stella's floor, I could instantly see her room. The door was cracked open slightly and a pink line was shining in her room, the light pouring out into the hallway. When I got closer I could see that the door on the room across from her, Wren's room, was also open. It wasn't enough that I could see in there, but enough to tell the light was on.
I stood there for a moment, debating on what to do. I heard voices coming from Stella's room, telling me she already had people over. I should have just knocked and walked in where I was expected. But Wren's room being open made me think twice.
I could just poke my head in and see if he was in there. He never said anything about going to Stella's tonight. But it could be James in there, or the both of them, and I didn't want to embarrass myself by just walking right into their room.
I was still standing out in the hall when a door further down opened and a group of people walked out. I didn't even really have time to think before I was opening Wren's door and walking inside. I shut the door behind me and leaned back against it.
When I looked up, Wren was staring at me with raised eyebrows, sitting at his desk with his laptop open.
"Sure, Lance, come on in," he said in a teasing tone.
"I,uh, your door was open," I said, not moving from my spot against the door.
"Do you just walk into any open doors you find?" he asked with a grin.
"I... shut up."
"Or did you just want to see me so bad?" Wren asked, standing up from his desk and shutting his laptop. I didn't say anything. "It's okay to say you wanted to see me."
"No, I didn't want to see you." He knew I was lying. He had his signature smug look as he walked over to me. He looked me up and down like he did this morning before his eyes settled on me face.
"Well, I wanted to see you," Wren said.
"I... you what?"
"I'll admit it's a strange predicament to be in," Wren continued. "But you were gone all weekend."
I tried to force a teasing grin on my face despite the unease I felt.
"So you missed me," I said.
"I didn't say that."
"You don't have to," I shot back.
He stared at me for a moment, then looked down briefly before looking back at my face.
"I guess I don't," he admitted. "But neither do you. You came in here because you wanted to see me, because you missed me."
He stepped closer and I couldn't tell if the nerves I felt came from wanting to get away from him or from wanting to get closer, to be chest to chest with him, feeling his breathing in sync with my own.
I hated everything about this. I hated that I wanted him to come with me for coffee this morning and how bad I felt when he rejected me. I hated that I wanted to be alone with him before going to Stella's and I hated that being away fro him all weekend made me want him more. It was like being away from him made my attraction stronger, made me more aware of the fact that I wanted to be around him, that even though he annoyed me and made me angry, I didn't want to be away from him.
I hated even more that I didn't know the extent of his attraction, if he just wanted me because I challenged him and if I gave into him when he wanted me to, he would be done with me after that. I didn't think I could handle that.
"Why are you thinking so hard right now?" he asked, tilting his head to the side like he was genuinely confused.
"Because you make me nervous," I said without even thinking. I hated being too vulnerable with him. It felt like he thrived off of my vulnerabilities and could use it as ammunition.
But instead of grinning or joking, he stepped closer. He looked at my lips and bit down on his bottom one. He looked both contemplative and unsure. I didn't think I had ever seen Wren look unsure the whole time I had known him. I always thought he was a creature who was so sure of himself he never had any doubts.
He stepped closer, his face close to mine.
"Does this make you nervous?" he asked. "Or is this okay?"
"Both."
His lips quirked up slightly.
"I'll say it," Wren started. "I kinda did miss you in a weird way."
"In a weird way?"
"Mhm," he hummed. "And now I kinda want to kiss you. In a weird way."
My breath stopped for a moment.
"So do it." I didn't think about anything else. Just his lips on mine. Fuck the consequence. Fuck how this would make me feel afterwards.
"If you insist," he said. He was smirking now and he leaned in. My heart sped up, my hands in fists at my sides as I waited for Wren's kiss.
Then all of a sudden the door opened behind me, sending me jolting forward and knocking my head into Wren's mouth.
"Ah, fuck," Wren cursed, rubbing his mouth where my head hit him. I rubbed the spot on my face where I knocked into him and turned around to see James in the doorway.
"Wren, let's go," James said impatiently. "You said you'd come to Stella's. Oh, hi Landon."
I waved to him, my other hand still on my face. He gave us each a strange look, seeming to have a mental exchange with Wren.
Wren let out a sigh and pushed James through the door.
"You really are a pain in the ass, you know that?" Wren snapped.
James smirked, his eyes lighting up. "A pain in your ass, that's for sure. Now let's go."
My stomach dropped a the implication of James's words and now I wanted nothing to do with going to Stella's. Not when all I could think about was Wren and James being together.
Wren pushed James again and grabbed onto my wrist, dragging me with him to Stella's.
There wasn't actually that many people there. It was just Stella, Jess, Stella's roommate Cali, and a couple of her friends. But the fact that there were only a few of us didn't matter anymore now that I had a bad feeling in my stomach because of what happened with Wren and what James had said.
It shouldn't even bother me, but it did. I felt so stupid for letting it bother me.
"Yay! You guys are here!" Stella exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air and stumbling into Jess who caught her with a smile on her face.
Wren dragged me into the room and sat down on a bean bag chair, pulling me down with him. The two of us barely even fit on this thing and being near him was too much for me at the moment. And now we were squished together on this stupid bean bag chair.
"Landon, what are you drinking?" Stella asked, gesturing toward the many bottles of alcohol she had spread across her desk.
I almost said nothing, but I stopped myself. I needed something to take the edge off or I was going to be miserable all night.
"The strongest thing you have," I told her.
Stella snapped her fingers at me, nodding as she poured me a cup of clear liquid.
It tasted like shit of course, and Wren side eyed me while I downed the whole thing. I let Stella get me more alcohol and I was eventually loosened up enough that I was up dancing with her, Jess, and James, badly singing along to whatever song she had playing.
Wren just watched from the same bean bag chair, his unreadable eyes on me. And in my drunken state, I liked the feeling of his eyes on me, his lips pressed together, his serious expression.
And despite my drunkenness, that image of his face would be something I remembered.