Ice Cold - Chapter 27: Chapter 27

Wren Ridley
"The lattes here are amazing," Stella said for the third time she sat down. She and Jess showed up at the coffee shop after my run and sat down across from me, Stella sitting in Landon's usual spot.
I didn't hide my annoyance at the two of them, but they both chose to ignore it. Stella never let stuff like that get to her. That was probably why she kept being friends with me; she could withstand my efforts to push people away.
I stared across at her, my eyebrows raised as she turned to say something to Jess. The two of them giggled at whatever she said and I crossed my arms over my chest.
"What, are we ruining your alone time?" Stella asked, looking back at me. "Is that why you're being pouty?"
"Something like that," I responded, sipping on my latte.
Just then, Landon walked in the door, his cheeks flushed from his run and the cold air outside. He glanced over quickly to where I sat as if just making sure I was there before walking up to the counter and placing his order with Anthony.
The two of them made small talk, Anthony grinning at him. That caused an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. Landon rarely ever talked to anyone other than me, but there he was, making small talk with Anthony, the two of them grinning at each other. I didn't like it.
When Landon had his coffee, he walked over to our usual table and stopped for a moment as if unsure what to do. Stella was in his seat and the only seat available was the one next to me.
The two of us locked eyes and he sat down beside me.
"Hi Landon!" Stella exclaimed excitedly.
"Hey," he replied quietly. He nodded in greeting to Jess. His posture was rigid and tense and he turned slightly to face me, his knee knocking into mine.
"You actually just reminded me of something," Stella started. "The rink at our school is going to start doing public skating on the weekends and we need to go."
"I won't be there, but you guys have a good time," I told her.
She made a face at me.
"Of course, you'll be there, Wren," Stella replied. "And so will Landon and James."
"I don't–" Landon started. "I have hockey."
"So we'll go when you're free," Stella said with a shrug. "I really want to go guy. With all of us."
"It'll be fun," Jess said, directing a smile at Landon.
He looked at her and I could see it on his face that he was going to give in. He felt guilty about whatever it was that went down between them, but he was too scared to try and make amends. This way, he could do it without really saying anything and hope that the guilt went away on its own.
"Yeah, I mean, I guess it could be fun," he said, glancing over at me.
"I'm still not going," I said.
"Yes, you are!" Stella said.
Stella stood up, Jess following her, and told us they had to get going. The two of them walked out of the coffee shop hand in hand, saying goodbye to Anthony as they left.
"You don't have to do that," I told Landon once we were alone.
"Do what?" he asked.
"Give in to Jess just because you feel guilty about whatever happened between the two of you."
Landon glared at me. "I'm not giving in to her, I'm just trying–"
"Trying to make amends so you stop feeling guilty," I finished for him.
"Shut up."
He sipped on his coffee, looking away from me. He didn't bother moving to the other side of the table to his usual spot, keeping his leg pressed against mine.
"You're going to go though, right?" Landon asked after a moment, his eyes meeting mine.
"I thought the point was going with Jess? You don't need me there."
Landon narrowed his eyes at me.
"Just say that you want me to go," I said with a grin.
"No."
"Just say it."
"You know that I do, so why do you need me to say it?" he snapped.
Partially because I wanted to give him a hard time, and partially because I needed the validation.
"I don't know anything unless you say it," I replied.
"That's such bullshit. You think you know everything."
Now that wasn't true. But Landon viewed me differently than I viewed myself.
Landon let out a heavy sigh, glaring at me.
"Fine," he said. "I want you there."
"Now, was that so hard?" I teased, taking a sip of my latte.
Landon acted irritated with me, but he really wasn't. I could tell that there was no real anger on his face, just the usual annoyance and slight embarrassment he always had around me.
I watched him as he sipped on his coffee. He looked straight ahead, like he couldn't feel my eyes on him. He seemed calmer than normal.
When we finished our drinks, the two of us silently got up from our seats and threw our cups away before leaving the coffee shop, Landon waving goodbye at Anthony as we left.
"What was that?" I asked as we crossed the street together.
"Hm?" Landon hummed, glancing over at me.
"You and Anthony."
His eyebrows moved up on his forehead, his expression one of confusion and disbelief.
"Nothing. I was just being friendly."
"Which you aren't," I reminded him.
He scoffed and didn't respond.
"You're not friendly," I said. "But you are with him."
"So what?" he snapped.
I shrugged. "I suppose it doesn't matter."
Maybe I just wanted him to confirm that he wasn't flirting with Anthony and trying to keep his options open. Maybe I wanted him to tell me that I was his only option. But, of course, I couldn't say that to him, couldn't show him that he had snuck his way into my life and changed me in ways I couldn't even explain to myself.
The two of us parted ways, and I didn't see Landon until a couple days later at the ice rink with Stella, Jess, and James.
I never liked going to the ice rink, even just to watch my brother play hockey. It was too cold, there were always too many people. If I wanted to be cold, I would just step outside. I never understood why people would willingly go somewhere indoors to be cold and enjoyed it.
Being here on a public skate day was no different. It was no hockey game, but there were a ton of people out on the ice. The only place I could get away from them all was the stands, and that was exactly where I went as soon as we arrived, much to the dismay of Stella.
Stella had rented skates for me after I sat down in the stands, making no effort to go out onto the ice with the others. She dropped the skates in front of me and gave me a stern look.
"Get those on and let's go!" she said. She sat down on my right, Landon on my other side, and put her skates on before following Jess and James out onto the ice.
Landon was lacing up his skates when he looked over at me.
"Just do it," he said.
"I said I would come. I never said I would skate."
"So you're just going to sit here?"
"Precisely."
He shook his head at me, standing up from the bench we were sitting on. Instead of going out onto the ice like I thought he would, he knelt down in front of me and took the skates that Stella had left on the ground before propping my foot up on his knee.
"What exactly are you doing?" I asked him as he slipped my shoe off and put the skate on my foot.
"I'm putting your skates on," he muttered, pulling the laces as tight.
I hated to admit even to myself that I couldn't keep my eyes off of him as he did it. I watched his hands as he worked with the laces, noticing his veins and knuckles as he pulled the laces again and started to tie them.
"Are they too tight?" he asked as he finished with the first skate.
"That depends on how tight they are supposed to be."
"Tight enough that your foot and ankle are supported, but not so tight that it hurts."
Landon placed my foot back on the ground and took my other one up on his knee and did the same thing. It was strange I was even letting him do this, but I couldn't find it in me to stop him.
When he was done tying the other skate, he looked up at me, still kneeling.
"That was very nice of you," I said. "I'm still not skating."
Landon rolled his eyes and got up before sitting down on the bench beside me again.
"You don't know how to skate, do you?" Landon asked.
He was giggling before I could even answer him. Full on giggling. I had never heard that sound come from him since I had known him, and it felt like this was new for him too. He tried hiding his face behind his hand, but I could still see the way his face was lit up, his smile so wide it was hard for him to keep his eyes open.
I couldn't even get annoyed at him for a moment. I could just watch. It was strange seeing him like this, smiling and joyful. The sound of his laugh was unexpected coming from him. It was a fit of giggles, high pitched and rolling out of his mouth like he couldn't stop them. It was nice to hear, even if it was at my expense.
"It's not that funny," I said with a straight face.
That only caused him to laugh even more. A fuller, deeper laugh now. He tried to speak but he couldn't get the words out between his laughter.
I couldn't look away from him. The happiness on his face kept my eyes glued there. I never imagined that seeing him like this would make me never want to look away, would make me want to see this look on him all the time.
Shit. I was in some deep shit.
I knew, no matter how much I tried to push those feelings out, that I liked him. I actually liked Landon, and it made me feel sick to my stomach at the same time it made me feel light as air.
He was rude, and mean, and basically hated me, but I liked him anyway.
And it was stupid of me, so stupid, because I had never let myself feel this way for anyone. I had closed myself off emotionally for a reason, and now someone had gotten through my guards without even trying, probably without even wanting to.
"I'm sorry," Landon said between laughs, out of breath. He placed a hand on his chest, breathing in and out deeply to catch his breath.
I raised my eyebrows at him. "And why was that so funny?"
He chuckled, glancing over at me. "It's just funny that you don't know how to do something."
"I don't know how to do a lot of things."
Landon finally sobered up, but there was still a hint of a smile on his face, his eyes still lit up like a little kid on Christmas morning.
"God, that was funny," he said. "I haven't laughed like that in a while. My face hurts."
"Glad I could provide entertainment for you."
Landon rolled his eyes at me and stood up from the bench before pulling me up by the wrist after him. I could barely walk in these skates, but he walked like normal, in big strides as he pulled me along. He let go of my wrist before he stepped onto the ice then turned to look at me, motioning for me to follow him.
"Come on," he said. "Just step on. I'm not going to let you fall."
"I'm not afraid of falling."
I just didn't want to be bothered with skating. When I was younger, Dad had put both Fox and me in hockey and I didn't take to it like he did. I was never a team player, and we found that out quickly when I refused to skate with the rest of the kids while Fox was skating circles around everyone.
Landon held out his hand and I looked down at it with a strange expression.
"You want to hold my hand in front of this many people?" I asked him, looking around at the amount of people on the ice.
There were teenagers skating around the rink racing each other, nearly knocking into the people who were going at a leisurely pace, families with children who were pushing around milk crates to keep themselves from falling, and even kids no older than five who were skating around like it was second nature.
Landon retracted his hand for a moment before letting out a breath and grabbing my hand anyway. He pulled me out onto the ice, and I felt myself slipping until he straightened me out. I grabbed onto the wall while my other hand stayed in his.
"Let go of the wall," Landon demanded.
"No, I don't think I will."
"I thought you said you're not afraid of falling?"
"I'm not afraid of it. That doesn't mean I want to fall. I don't."
Landon skated around so that he was in front of me, skating backwards. He plucked my hand off the wall and pulled me away from it so that I couldn't grab on again. He let one of my hands drop to my side while still holding the other to pull me along.
He looked content and at ease as he pulled me through the rink. Maybe it was the fact that he could be out here on the ice with no pressure. Skating was clearly something he enjoyed, but could he really enjoy it at hockey when there was so much expected of him?
I had never seen him so content. It was both bizarre and captivating.
We eventually passed by Stella and Jess, who were holding hands as they skated along. James was skating around the rink by himself. I had watched him fall a few times and both Landon and me laughed each time.
I didn't make any effort to actually skate, and Landon didn't make me. It was like he was just happy with pulling me along, not caring who here saw him holding my hand. That carefree feeling looked like it took a weight off his chest. He looked younger, less burdened by everything that ran through his mind.
Eventually, Landon dropped me off at the exit and let me off the ice while he did a few laps on his own. He moved on his skates like it was more natural than walking. His hair flowed back in the wind of his movement, and when he passed by, he sent me a smirk.
We left the others after a while, Landon bringing me back to his room to drop off his skates. Kyle wasn't there like usual.
"Will you ever go skating again?" Landon asked me, leaning back against his bed.
"Not likely," I said.
"It was actually kind of fun," he replied. "I didn't think it would be."
"So why did you even go in the first place?"
He shrugged, thinking for a moment before responding.
"I guess I finally decided I needed to stop being a lonely fuck and actually make an effort to have friends."
"I wasn't enough?" I teased.
"Well, you're a little more than a friend." He looked down at the floor, his cheeks flushing.
For once, I was speechless. This was too much for even me. It was too much to try and figure out exactly what his emotions were, and for me to fully come to terms with mine.
So, I stepped forward and tilted his chin up so that he would reach my gaze, and planted my lips on his in a soft kiss. Landon placed his hand on the back of my head, pushing his fingers through my hair like he could bring me any closer to him. This kiss was soft, almost shy, our lips light as feathers against each other.
We didn't say anything as it ended. We just kicked off our shoes and climbed into Landon's bed, me lying on my back with him between my legs, his head on my chest underneath my chin and my arms around him.
This had all felt like it moved too fast into something I couldn't name, something neither of us would say out loud. All I knew was I was too far gone with him. And this was the start of something more.