Ice Cold - Chapter 34: Chapter 34

Landon Reilly
If someone asked me how I ended up in Wren's car with three of his siblings in the back seat, including one that wants to murder me, I'd have no fucking clue what to say.
I knew it was a bad idea going to this game, but Coach basically made it mandatory. He wanted us to go watch Northeastern since we were playing them tomorrow because it was a 'unique' opportunity to be able to go watch them in person right before our game with them. Rojas and Shea dragged me there without me having much of a say anyway. I thought I had this figured out, that I'd be able to get in and out of there without being noticed by Wren and his family, but I was clearly mistaken.
And somehow I ended up getting roped into dinner with them. The car ride was filled with a long, awkward silence. I could only imagine how bad the mood would be at dinner.
I should have made up an excuse. I should have walked away. But it was too late.
of me didn't care about Fox knowing about us. If he tried to fight with me, I'd just cross that bridge when I got to it. But I knew it mattered to Wren for some reason, so it kind of mattered to me too by default. Even though I knew he wasn't as serious about us as I was.
Wren was tapping on the steering wheel as he drove, a nervous tick I had only seen from him once before. I hated that he was feeling this way because of me and there was no way for me to make it any better.
When Wren parked the car at the restaurant, Fox barely waited for the car to be fully stopped before he got out and stormed off. Wren's other brother in the back seat, who I assumed was Robin, let out a low laugh.
"This is going to be an interesting dinner," Robin said, glancing over at his sister.
"I'm so confused about what's going on," she said. This sister was not the one I met before at Wren's house.
"I'm sure you're not the only one, Raven," Robin replied, opening the car door and stepping outside. Raven followed after him, leaving Wren and I alone in the car.
"Wren, I'm sorry," I said once we were alone. It felt strange apologizing to him, like I was begging and pleading for his forgiveness.
"What for?"
"I tried to not be seen by you guys. Coach made the whole hockey team go watch Northeastern since we're playing them tomorrow."
Wren shrugged. "There's nothing we can do about it now."
I followed Wren as he got out of the car and walked toward the restaurant, his family already waiting inside. I didn't know what to expect from this dinner. Part of me thought Fox would cause a scene by the way Wren wanted to keep him in the dark about us. But with the way he was in the car, glaring at us and refusing to speak, I figured it would be more of that. Or hoped it would.
The family was already sitting down when we got inside, leaving two seats on the end of the table for Wren and me. Wren sat down beside Robin while I sat down next to him on the end, across from his mother. Fox was all the way at the other end of the table, which was probably for the best.
"I'm so happy you could join us, Landon," Vanessa said, beaming at me from across the table. "Get anything you want."
I looked down at the menu in front of me, skimming the entrees. Everything was expensive. Even the cheapest option was more than I wanted anyone to spend on me. Maybe this was where Wren got his giving tendencies from. He was always buying my coffee or my food, despite knowing I didn't want him to do that.
As if being able to sense my discomfort with the whole ordeal, Wren placed a comforting hand on my thigh, squeezing it lightly. His touch didn't completely eradicate my nerves, but it helped a little.
Wren was so confusing to me. He acted like he cared about me, like he really wanted to be with me, but he rejected the idea of coming over to the Hanson's last night, and he didn't want his family to know about us. He was just going along with what his mother wanted. He wasn't going to introduce me as his... whatever I was to him. To his family we were friends, or even just acquaintances. And Wren was probably going to try to keep it that way.
I put my hand on top of Wren's before lightly pushing it off my thigh. Wren took his hand and gripped his menu with it, his jaw clenched, but despite that, he seemed relaxed.
I didn't know what the right thing to do was, if I should let him show me the little affection he was willing to give or act like there was nothing between us.
We ordered our food and there was light conversation for most of dinner. I spent the whole time mainly listening to Vanessa tell stories and catch Robin up on what had been going on at home while he was away from school. It wasn't until we were finished and waiting for the check that conversation was directed toward me.
"So, Landon, you go to school with Wren?" Wren's father, Leo, asked me.
I cleared my throat. "I actually go to Providence College not too far away."
"Oh, that's where Fox is playing tomorrow!" Vanessa exclaimed with a smile.
I plastered a fake smile on my face. "I, uh, I play hockey there."
"Oh, you do?" Vanessa excitedly asked. "That's wonderful!"
I spared a glance down at Fox. He wasn't looking at us, but he was definitely listening in. His jaw was clenched and his hand was gripping his glass so tightly his knuckles were turning white. It was like he was biting his tongue, forcing himself to keep quiet for his mother's sake when what he really wanted to do was cuss me out and beat me up. I couldn't really blame him for that.
Wren's other siblings, Robin and Fawn, clearly knew what was going on and kept casting looks between us, Fox, and each other.
I should have never went along with them. I was ruining their time together as a family all because the invitation was sprung up on me and I didn't know how to get out of it in the moment.
"It's nice to have a little friendly competition," Vanessa added with a smile. From the other end of the table, Fox laughed, and now all eyes were on him.
"Mom, do you even know who he is?" Fox asked her.
"Fox, stop," Wren calmly interjected before his mother could respond.
"You, shut the hell up," Fox snapped, pointing at his brother. "I don't want to hear anything from you right now."
"Boys, enough," Leo cut in, looking confused and sounding resigned like he was used to having to get between his two sons.
"No, seriously, do any of you know who he really is?" Fox asked, looking around the table.
Wren glared at his brother. While before he looked calm and relaxed, Wren now looked tense. It was a strange look on him that I had never really seen before.
That look on his face distracted me from the embarrassment for a moment, but once my mind caught up, I couldn't help but feel humiliated. Fox was going to call me out in front of his family, which wouldn't have been half as embarrassing if I wasn't so involved with his brother. But the embarrassment hit me with full force, and I felt like getting up and walking out and never seeing anyone from this family again.
When no one answered Fox, he continued.
"He's the one who got us kicked out of the tournament last year," Fox spat. "After he attacked me. And he gave Elijah hell even before that."
Everyone was silent for a moment and I was mortified. It wasn't like what he was saying was untrue. The worst part about it was that it was true, and couldn't help but think that this was why Wren was so reluctant to be serious with me. He didn't want to meet the Hansons, but he didn't really want me to be spending any time with his family either. Maybe it was because he knew they would hate me when Fox found out and told them everything. He knew we couldn't last because his family was important to him and I would only drive a wedge between them.
I wanted to shrivel up and vanish into nothing. I wanted to cease to exist at all. There was nowhere I could escape to. I was frozen in place.
Wren hadn't said a word; he barely even reacted. I didn't know what I expected. Him to defend me? From what? Fox was telling the truth.
"And-" Fox started again.
"Fox, enough!" Vanessa snapped.
It was the only time all night that she looked even remotely upset. She had been happy throughout the whole dinner, laughing and smiling with her kids. But now, because I was here and causing all this tension, her night was ruined.
"I very well know who he is," she added, raising her eyebrows at Fox. That meant that Dan and Mindy had told her about me after that time I saw them all at their house. That only made me feel even more embarrassed.
Wren must have sensed my discomfort and started to stand, motioning for me to follow him. I wordlessly left the able with Wren. I should have thanked his parents for the meal, thanked his mother for inviting me. But it was like I was on autopilot, my feet taking me wherever Wren went. The two of us left the restaurant and went outside. Wren leaned back against his car with his hands in his pockets while I stood in front of him.
"Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," Wren said in a light tone.
I wanted to cry. I didn't know what I wanted from him. No part of me wanted to remember anything that had happened tonight, but I still wanted him to comfort me. We were standing only a few feet apart, but it felt like he was a mile away.
"It wasn't that bad?" I asked in disbelief. My words were short and choppy, nearly caught in my throat. I could feel my throat drying up while tears welled in my eyes.
"You're upset." He said it in a bland tone. A statement, not a question. It was like he couldn't understand why the whole thing upset me.
I let out a humorless laugh, a cough coming out at the end.
"Yeah, Wren, I'm fucking upset."
"You don't need to be."
"But I am! That was humiliating!"
"It was far more embarrassing for Fox," Wren said. "He nearly threw a tantrum."
He tried to play it off like that didn't bother him, but there was a reason he didn't want Fox knowing about us, so there was no way this whole thing didn't affect him too.
I could feel him putting a wall up, pulling away from me. And that made me want to cry even more.
The two of us didn't say anything else before his family eventually exited the restaurant.
Fox walked right past us and surprised everyone by getting into the passenger's seat of Wren's car. I was shocked and didn't realize Vanessa had walked over to me until she put her hand on my shoulder.
She looked at me with kind eyes, reminding me so much of Mindy.
"Thank you for coming tonight, Landon," she said. "Maybe we'll see you tomorrow at the game."
"Thank you for dinner," I managed to get out.
Leo walked over and patted me on the shoulder before the two of them went to their own car with Colt and Fawn. With Fox sitting in the front seat of Wren's car, I had to get in the back behind the driver's seat next to Raven who was in the middle seat, Robin on her other side.
"You're dropping me off last," Fox said to Wren as he got into the driver's seat. Wren let out a sigh and started the car.
Robin reached forward and smacked Fox on the back of the head.
"Quit being a dick," Robin said. Fox didn't respond, and the car ride back to my dorm was silent.
When we pulled up to my building, I couldn't get out of the car fast enough.
"I'll text you," Wren said as he rolled down the window, staring at me intensely. I nodded at him before rushing into my building.
It wasn't until I was finally in my room that I let the tears fall.
***
Wren Ridley
"Can someone fill me in?" Raven asked as soon as we pulled away from Landon's building. "What was all that about?"
"Don't ask that right now," Robin muttered.
"You were at the tournament last year," Fox said, turning around to face her.
"I know, but I didn't know you had actual personal beef with him," she replied. "Or that he was friends with Wren. How did that happen?"
"That's what I'd like to know," Fox said, fixing a glare on me.
They were both waiting for me to say something, but I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction.
"Can we all just agree that it's none of our business who Wren hangs out with?" Robin asked, trying to play peacekeeper like always. It wouldn't work this time.
"No, I don't think we can," Fox spat. "Because I think it is my business that my brother is getting close with someone who has tried to attack me more than once and who made my boyfriend's life a living hell!"
Still, I didn't respond. I would only be adding fuel to Fox's fire if I did. His anger fed off of other people. Me becoming defensive would only make things worse. He needed time to cool down and time away from me.
"Please don't kill each other," Robin said as I parked outside the hotel he and Raven were staying at with the rest of our family. Fox was staying at another with his team.
"No promises," Fox muttered, and the twins got out of the car and made their way into the hotel.
I was ready to bring Fox to his and get away from him, but he had other plans.
"Bring me to your dorm," he demanded.
I let out a long sigh. "I think you need to go cool down."
"No, we need to have a private conversation and it's not going to be in the car because I can't say what I need to say in a confined space because I might strangle you."
At least he was taking precautions.
I relented and brought the two of us to my dorm. James wasn't around which was good. Maybe he went home for Thanksgiving after all.
I leaned back against my desk, putting some space between Fox and me. He stayed standing by the door and looked around the room. His eyes caught on something behind me. I followed his line of sight and saw that Landon's hockey sweatshirt was out in the open, hanging on the back of my desk chair. I bit down on my bottom lip and looked back at Fox, who was now scowling at me, his eyes wide and furious.
"What the fuck is going on?" he questioned, his voice low but full of emotion. His hands were in fists by his sides.
"I assume you can suspect."
He shook his head at me and began pacing in front of the door. He wasn't lying when he said he couldn't be in a confined space for this conversation.
"Why?" he asked after a moment. "Why do you like fucking with me? I thought we were over this, that we were gonna start acting like real brothers!"
My heart jolted a little bit at his words. This was what I wanted to avoid; I wanted us to repair our relationship, not dismantle it further. I wanted to be a good big brother for Fox, for all my younger siblings, like Robin was. I wanted them to be able to rely on me, to want me around. Them not wanting me around was one of my biggest fears.
I usually kept my fears hidden so deep down inside me that I forgot they were there, but it was times like these that they were at the forefront of my mind, mocking me and letting me know that I'd never be able to forget about them.
"You know, I thought we were really becoming close, that we were done hating each other," Fox continued.
"We are."
"No because you must fucking hate me!" Fox exclaimed. "Tell me right now what's going on with you two."
"It's nothing." It was a lie and it tasted like poison coming out of my mouth.
"Don't bullshit me right now, Wren."
He stared at me, willing me to tell him the truth. I didn't know what to say.
"Are you with him?" Fox asked when I said nothing, gesturing toward the sweatshirt hanging on my chair.
"It's not- it's not serious," I stuttered. Even that was a lie. It was more serious than I wanted to admit, more serious than I even realized until this moment.
I felt the need to play it off like it was nothing, for my sake and for Landon's. Fox would be playing against him tomorrow, and if he was still angry by then, who knew what damage he could do.
I also felt the need to protect Landon. I wanted Fox's anger to stay directed at me. I didn't want him saying anything bad about Landon, even if he wasn't here to hear it.
"I guess a lot to you isn't serious," Fox said. "Because if you were serious about smoothing things over with me, then you wouldn't be with him in the first place!"
He had a point, but it was possible for me to be serious about both. I wasn't about to argue that with him though.
"Do I have to remind you what he's done?" Fox asked in exasperation. "That he bullied Elijah? That he beat him and had a hand in outing him to his entire team which forced him to come out to his mother and got him kicked out of his house? That he has attacked us both? What do you think he's going to do to you if he gets angry?"
Fox knew nothing about Landon, nothing about how he changed or who he really was. And he didn't care to. He wanted to hold onto this anger, let it fester and explode. It didn't matter that Elijah wanted to forgive and forget; he wanted to be his protector, to be angry on his behalf because Elijah was too kind to hold a grudge.
And Fox didn't trust me. He didn't trust my judgement. I could tell him about how Landon had changed, how I really felt about him and that I had never felt this way about anyone else. But he wouldn't want to hear it and it wouldn't matter anyway.
Fox shook his head at me and ripped open the door.
"Let's go," he snapped. "And don't even bother coming to my game tomorrow. I don't want to see you and I don't want to talk to you."
I would be there anyway, if only to make sure he didn't beat Landon bloody and blue.