Ice Cold - Chapter 41: Chapter 41

Landon Reily
The blast of warm air as I entered the coffee shop made my cheeks burn. Wren held the door open for me and got in line where Anthony was manning the register. His gaze lingered on us for a moment then he quickly looked down at his screen.
"Well, good morning, Anthony. Long time, no see," Wren greeted in a teasing tone when it was our turn at the counter. "How is this fine morning treating you?"
"Good morning, what can I get for you?" Anthony responded in a bland tone, acting as if he didn't know either of us.
"I see, you're embarrassed, but it's alright," Wren said. "We'll have two medium hot peppermint mocha lattes."
I frowned at that. I was used to Wren ordering my coffee, but he had been ordering the same thing for me for a while now. Trying something new made me nervous.
"Name for the order?" Anthony asked.
Wren looked back at me with a grin, clearly enjoying how uncomfortable Anthony was with what happened this morning.
"James's roommate," Wren replied.
Anthony looked at him with a deadpanned expression, clearly annoyed with Wren's antics.
"Your order will be right out," Anthony replied and motioned for us to move to the side so he could help the next customer in line.
"You really have to be the most irritating person in the room wherever you go," I said to him, sticking my hands in my pockets to warm them up.
Wren shrugged, a grin still decorating his annoyingly handsome face.
"That's just who I am," he said.
"Why did you change my drink?" I asked as I watched it being made.
"It's seasonal," Wren said. "Perfect for Christmas time. You'll like it."
Once we got our drinks, we went over to our usual table, and Wren stared at me until I tried the drink. I took a small sip and set the cup down. Wren looked at me expectantly.
"You like it," Wren stated.
"It's alright," I replied. "I prefer the caramel."
"Hm," he hummed, taking a sip of his own drink. "So, are you ready for finals?"
I was dreading finals, actually. It constantly felt like I had too much on my plate with school, hockey, therapy, Wren.
"Not really," I admitted, and I felt kind of stupid for it. I was talking to someone who was probably ready for finals at the start of the semester.
"I can help you prepare," Wren offered.
I was saved from having to answer by Anthony walking over to our table and taking a seat beside me.
"Can we help you?" Wren asked, raising his eyebrows at him.
"I'm sorry for the way I acted this morning," Anthony replied, though he didn't sound all that sorry. His voice was stilted like he was reading from a script.
of me felt bad for Anthony, but that was mostly overshadowed by my embarrassment due to the fact that when he barged in the room this morning, I was barely clothed under a blanket with Wren. Not that Anthony probably even noticed that. He was too busy with James.
"No need to apologize," Wren said. "I found it quite entertaining. Though, I am dying to know more about what happened last night that made you so angry."
Anthony glared at him. "You can ask him about it."
"And I will."
"I don't know how you put up with him," Anthony said to me with a scoff.
I just shrugged. There was no way to explain it, really. Not in a way that anyone but Wren and I would understand. Wren wasn't the same with me as he was with other people. And I didn't know how I would feel about it if he was. Part of me liked being the only one Wren was different for, the only one that could see more layers of him. And he was the only one who could see more of me.
Anthony left the table and Wren took a few sips of his drink before he brought up finals again, much to my dismay.
"I can help you prepare for your finals," Wren repeated.
I let out a sigh. "You don't need to do that."
"You have a lot going on," he said. "There's no shame in needing some help."
He said that like it was so easy, but he had no idea what it felt like to have a boyfriend who was so much smarter than you knowing you needed help with stupid Gen Ed finals. It was humiliating, having my ivy league boyfriend see how much dumber I was than him.
"And if I don't want your help?" I snapped, and instantly winced at my tone.
Wren just smiled over the rim of his cup.
"Sorry," I muttered. "I shouldn't snap at you."
"Embarrassing you wasn't my intention," Wren replied, always knowing exactly how I felt. "I would just hate for you to be overwhelmed."
My heart warmed at that. I was still so used to being defensive around Wren. I had to wrap my head around him actually being open about his care for me.
"I'll let you know if I need you," I relented. Something told me that was all Wren wanted: to be needed.
A little while later the two of us walked back to Wren's dorm and each took a shower. Wren had suggested we take a shower together, but I just slammed the bathroom door in his face, my cheeks red with embarrassment.
Wren had some of his clothes laid out for me when I got out of the shower. The outfit was something I wouldn't have picked out for myself, so I thought of this as Wren's way of getting me to dress better.
He set out light cream colored pants that were rolled at the ankle with a dark green sweater and a white shirt to go underneath. I put the clothes on, and the pants were a little snug in the waist. The sweater, which would have been over sized on Wren, was a closer fit for me.
When Wren got out of the shower, just a towel around his waist, he looked at me and nodded.
"What?" I asked, looking down at the clothes and suddenly feeling self conscious.
"I just thought that color would look nice on you," he explained. "I was right. It brings out your eyes."
My first instinct was to cover my face with my hands, shielding Wren from seeing the embarrassment on my face. But I didn't because the look on his face made me keep my eyes on him. He was smiling at me as he looked me over, clearly happy with what he'd done.
"Pants are a little tight," I told him, standing up from where I sat at his desk.
Wren shrugged and opened up his closet to pick out his own clothes.
"Maybe that's what I'll get you for Christmas," he said. "Some pants like mine."
"You don't need to get me anything for Christmas."
I hated Wren spending money on me on food and coffee. The last thing I wanted was for him to actually buy me gifts.
"Okay, I'll just get you something for fun," he said with a grin, pulling his shirt on over his head.
I didn't want him to know it, though I was sure he already did, but I was nervous about Christmas. Not only would I be seeing his whole family again after what happened on Thanksgiving weekend, but it would be the first Christmas I'd be without my family. My last Christmas with them soured my memory of the holiday, and I didn't want to sour it for anyone else.
*
I could tell my father was in a bad mood just by the tension in the air when I went downstairs. It was Christmas morning, and he could still find a way to be mad on what was supposed to be the most joyous day of the year.
I sighed before I entered the kitchen, the smell of coffee filling the room. Dad sat alone at the kitchen table while Mom was making breakfast. She looked over at me when she heard my footsteps, but she didn't say a word.
He expected me to sit across from him silently and wait to be spoken to. That was how he operated. He didn't like me speaking to him unless spoken to.
Before sitting down at the table, I grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured in coffee, not adding anything else to it. Then I went to sit across from my father.
"That's your caffeine for the day," he remarked, his hard gaze on me.
I didn't say anything, just nodded. I could tell he was already agitated. It probably had something to do with how I'd been playing lately. The team wasn't doing well, and even if I played better than anyone on the ice, he still saw it as my own personal failure. He thought that since I was the leader of the team, I was only as good as the worst guy out there. If I couldn't make everyone on the team play well, then I was failing. I was a disappointment.
"Coach Adams's wife had her baby two nights ago," my father started. "Dave is going to take his position while he's out."
That was just great. My father's buddy would be coaching my team and keeping an eye on me for him while we were at the tournament. It wouldn't surprise me if he pushed Dave to take the coaching position just for that purpose.
"Hopefully he can motivate you to play your best," my father continued. "And if you can't play your best, then you need to make it so your opponents can't either. Especially that Elijah. You can't let him beat you at the tournament."
"We'll beat him," I responded. We had to. It wasn't just about the team. It was about my pride too.
My father looked at me with a hard to read expression. It was like he was trying to see inside my brain.
"I don't know that you will,"  he said. "I'm not so naive, Landon. I know how you felt about that boy, I know you feel guilty about what happened with him last year. But what you need to realize is that he's beneath you. He is filthy and you cannot lower yourself to be like him. You've resisted what he has embraced. You have a stronger will than him, but you need to continue working at it. And you need to show him just how beneath you he actually is."
My throat closed up listening to my father speak. He had been alluding to my sexuality more often lately, and I didn't know what to make of it. It was usually something neither of us spoke about, but there were times where he would indirectly bring it up, and it unsettled me to my core.
"And I'm afraid you can't do that with your skill alone," he continued. "You need to break him down. Go after him. Beat him up if you have to. Show him that you are stronger than him. If you can't do that, we're going to have problems."
He narrowed his eyes at me as if daring me to disagree with him, to resist what he was telling me to do. I knew that I couldn't, and he knew that I wouldn't. He had me under his thumb. He could tell me to jump and I'd ask how high. I hated myself for it.
By the serious look on his face, I knew he would make me regret it if I didn't do what he said. Winning for him wasn't just about the sport, it was about status and pride. If I lost to Elijah, that would put me beneath him, and my father would not be able to stomach that. He would do whatever he saw fit to make sure I regretted it.
"I know you don't want to know what will happen if you disappoint me," he said after a few moments.
"No, sir."
"So you'll make me proud."
"Yes, sir."
*
"Hey," Wren said, his voice pulling me from my thoughts. He was fully dressed now, standing in front of me.
He sat down on my lap, his legs on either side of mine.
"You were zoning out," he said.
"Sorry," I muttered.
Wren took my chin in his hand and angled my face toward his.
"Don't be sorry, darling," he said, lightly kissing my lips. "We both need to head to class. I can drop you off on campus."
Wren dropped me off outside of the building where my morning class was held. We were in the final weeks of the semester, and I couldn't wait for classes to be over.
School always overwhelmed me, though it was worse when I had my father trying to force me to be perfect in every way in his eyes. I needed to be his straight-A student, his hockey star, his perfectly polite son. Even without him, I still felt that pressure of needing to be the best, even though I was failing at that. I didn't have straight-As anymore. I wasn't the best guy on the hockey team. I wasn't charming and polite and known by everyone.
Later on at hockey practice, I was ambushed by Cooper. His face was red with anger as he grabbed onto the front of my shirt and shoved me against the wall.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he growled, his face close to mine.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I shot back, shoving him. "Get off me!"
"Don't play dumb!" he exclaimed. "You know what you did!"
"I really have no idea what the fuck you're talking about!"
"The bugs!" he said. "All the fucking bugs you let loose in my room! I mean, who else would've done that?"
I shot him a look of confusion, backing up slightly.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said, trying to keep my calm. "But maybe you're not as well-liked as you fucking think you are. I'm sure I'm not the only person on campus who can't stand you."
"You're fucking crazy," Cooper spat. "You know how insane that is to let all those bugs loose in someone's room? They had to evacuate our whole building to make sure they got them all out of there. We had to stay in hotels!"
"I still don't see how this has anything to do with me," I replied.
Cooper shook his head at me.
"You are batshit insane," he muttered before walking away.
I was still confused, yet relieved, as I watched him walk away. I wished I could thank whoever let the bugs loose in Cooper's room. If that made him think I was so insane, hopefully he would leave me alone so I wouldn't do anything even more insane.
What has become a new normal for me was Wren picking me up after hockey practice, so when I saw his car sitting in the parking lot when I left practice for the night, I wasn't surprised. He waited in his usual spot for me, the car idling. He unlocked the doors when I got to the car, and I put my hockey stuff in the back seat before getting in the car beside him.
"How was practice?" he asked as soon as I was in with the door shut.
"It was fine," I replied, buckling my seat belt. "Hey, you wanna hear something funny?"
"Yes," he said, maneuvering the car out of the parking lot.
"I guess someone let a bunch of bugs loose in Cooper's room," I told him with a laugh.
"Oh, that is funny."
"And he thinks it was me," I continued. "Said I'm batshit insane. I'll take the credit if it gets him to leave me alone."
"Did he say he would leave you alone?" Wren asked.
"No, but he seemed so disgusted I don't think he'll risk anything like that happening again."
"Hm," Wren hummed. "Well, that's good."
Wren drove us down toward my dorm and parked the car. I dropped my stuff off inside and then the two of us walked toward the dining hall for dinner. I swiped the both of us in, glad for the unlimited meal plan I got for being an athlete.
We got our food and sat down at a table in the corner of the room. Before either of us could start eating, Jess came over and sat down right next to me.
"You are evil," she said, pointing a finger at Wren. "You could've warned me that was your plan!"
"Well, when I was asking you about it, I didn't have a plan yet," Wren replied.
"A text would have helped. We do live in the twenty-first century. It's not like you could only send me a message by pigeon."
"What are you guys talking about?" I asked, looking between the two of them.
"Oh, hi Landon, sorry I was so rude not to greet you," Jess replied with a smile. "We were just talking about how my whole dorm building had to evacuate and I had to hope and pray they caught the bugs early enough that they didn't make it to my room."
Realization washed over me. Who was crazy enough to do something like that who also had beef with Cooper? The person sitting across from me with a faux innocent look on his face.
"The bugs. That was you, wasn't it?" I asked him.
"I cannot confirm or deny," Wren replied.
Jess rolled her eyes. "It was him," she said. "It was me that told him Cooper's room is always unlocked. I knew he was going to do something. I just didn't know it was going to be that."
I was caught between being annoyed with him and being grateful. On the one hand, I didn't want him fighting battles for me, but that was part of being in a relationship. We were supposed to fight battles for each other. I wasn't used to having someone in my corner, so I didn't know how to take it.
"But we were lucky," Jess continued. "They told someone right away and they got them before they spread. I was freaking out though."
"Well, that's fortunate," Wren said, taking a bite of his food.
"It's kinda sweet in a way," she started, "what he would do for you."
She got up, saying her goodbyes, and walked away.
Wren and I were silent for a moment, just staring at each other until he spoke.
"Are you angry with me?" he asked.
It wasn't until he asked that that I realized I really wasn't.
I smiled at him. "You're crazy."
He smiled back.