ILY - [BKDK] | MHA - Chapter 13: Chapter 13

Katsuki's eyes widened as he heard the two speak.
Was he hearing this right?
Katsuki couldn't believe it. He was right.
Izuku was actually hiding something.
"Do you ever think you'll get them?" Ochako asked. Katsuki's frowned. Get what?
Izuku looked down. "I... I don't know." He fiddled with his fingers. "None of our other classmates know about this, Not even Aizawa Sensei." He sighed. "I don't even know if I'll ever tell them." Izuku looked at her worriedly.
Tell us what? Katsuki asked himself. Just what the hell was he hiding?
"Not even Bakugo?" She asked quietly, knowing how close the two of them were. "I can't. I- I don't know how he'll react. I can't have him know. Never."
Katsuki's eyes widened as he heard Izuku talk about him. Why won't he tell me? What's wrong with telling me? What the fuck. Katsuki bit his bottom lip hard, it stung, but he didn't care. Curiousity got the best of him. Just what the hell was this damn nerd hiding, that's so secretive that he thinks he'll never tell him?
Ochako looked at him with an understanding smile, pulling him into another embrace. "It's okay." She told him. "Thank you for being honest with me."
Katsuki's clenched his fists, trying not to make a sound so they couldn't hear him. Just what the hell was going on?
He was about to walk away when he accidentally stepped on an empty soda can. Fucking Dunce face. Really needs to stop littering. Then he heard Ochako go, "Who's there?" That's when Katsuki knew he fucked up.
Izuku looked at his brunette friend, confused. "What happened, Uraraka?" Ochako looked at him. "I thought I heard something." She said.
Izuku felt his heart drop. Oh no. What if it was someone? What if it was one of his classmates? His friends? Crap, what if it was Kacchan? Did they hear? How much did they hear? Did they hear everything? What if they know now? What if they tell everyone else?
"Let's please check." He told her worriedly. The brunette nodded and the two slowly made their way to the place they heard the sound come from.
Fortunately, no one was there.
"Hm. I guess it was probably a squirrel or something." Uraraka shrugged it off.
Izuku couldn't sleep well that night. He kept tossing and turning, his mind on that damn face he saw from earlier that day.
It had to be a hallucination, right? There was no way Monoma had been actually going to U.A as well. Right?
What if he was? Izuku asked himself. What if Monoma actually goes here? What if Monoma finds him? What if Monoma tells everyone about his hearing disability? What if everyone go against him because of that? What would they think? What would his friends think? What would Kacchan think?
Izuku's thoughts spiraled, each worry more intense than the last. He sat up, clutching his blanket tightly as he took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart.
He couldn't shake off the feeling of dread, Monoma knowing about his deafness was bad enough, but the thought of the whole knowing? It didn't sit right with him. Izuku had worked so hard to keep it a secret, not wanting to be treated as weak, different, or be treated the way Monoma had treated him.
Izuku's mind raced through every scenario he could think of. His classmates' faces flashed before him, each twisted with judgement, disappointment, or pity. The idea of facing them with that look in their eyes was unbearable. He imagined Katsuki's reaction. The anger. The inevitable explosion of frustration and contempt. Would Katsuki see him as a liability? Would any of his friends?
The fear was overwhelming. He felt like he was drowning. Gasping for air and it would come to him. The darkness seemed to close in further, and for a moment, just a moment, Izuku considered running away.
Leaving U.A, leaving his dreams, and disappear where no one would ever find him.
But the thought was fleeting. He couldn't give up, not after everything he had fought for.
Izuku was glad he could trust Ochako enough to tell her the truth. But that didn't make the fear any less paralyzing. He couldn't tell her about Monoma. He couldn't tell her about the fact that he did have hearing aids, and they broke. He couldn't. Then she'd turn on him.
Izuku lay awake in the darkness, his thoughts swirling with the events of the day. He couldn't shake the sight of Ochako's concerns or the sight of the crunched soda can.
Turning to his side, he glanced at his forearm, his fingers brushed the slightly rough, discolored skin. His chest tightened. The cigarette burn—Monoma's wrath—felt like a lifetime ago, yet the memory was as vivid as ever.
He could still see the mocking looks, blurred from his tears, the searing pain, the loud tuning from his ears. It wasn't just a scar; it was a reminder of what he fought so hard for. To be considered normal. To be treated normally. He is normal... isn't he? Or was what Monoma said about him right? Would he never fit in?
Normal.
Normal.
Normal.
Normal.
Broken.
Broken.
Broken.
Broken.
The words blurred with each other, he didn't even know which one was true anymore.
He sat up abruptly, gasping for air as his heart thundered against his chest.
He imagined Ochako's face, her lips forming words he couldn't hear, but he could tell it was disappointment. Shoot's quiet, judging stare. Iida's disapproval. Tsu, Mina, Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, Jirou, Yaoyama...
And Kacchan— he didn't need to imagine it, not really. He could already see the anger, the frustration, and he could feel the vibration of the ground when Katsuki would yell.
They'd think he was weak. He knew they would. Nobody wanted a burden. The scar seemed to burn under his fingertips, and he clutched his wrist tightly, trying to breathe, trying to remind himself it wasn't real.
But the doubt lingered, whispering louder than he could block out.
Izuku quietly slid out of bed, his bare feet hitting the cold floor. His movements were careful, deliberate, making sure the ground around him wouldn't vibrate too much. He made his way to his desk, reaching for the small drawer he'd rarely touch. His hands hesitated for a moment before pulling it open. Inside lay the broken hearing aids, the pieces tucked away as though hiding them would erase the memories attached to them.
The shattered plastic gleamed faintly in the dim moonlight streaming through his window. He lifted one of his hearing aids, running his thumb over the jagged crack down the side. Monoma's smug face flickered his mind again, the memory of his mocking smashing them as he sneered.
Izuku clenched his teeth, gripping the hearing aids tighter. His heart raced. They were a silent testament to the worst moments of his life. He hated them. But most of all, he hated himself.
His fingers hovered over a notebook he had pulled out, the familiar cover worn smooth from years of use. He glanced at it, then at the broken hearing aids, and then back at the notebook. He had told Ochako the truth about his deafness, but not the rest. Not about Monoma, not about the humiliation, the threats, or the smirks that haunted him.
He trusted her, but not enough to lay it all bare. Not yet. How could he, when even saying it aloud felt like reliving it? Ochako didn't push him for more, and he was grateful. But the guilt of holding back gnawed at him. She deserved more. She deserved the whole story, but Izuku couldn't do it, Not yet. Maybe not ever.
The edges of the book were frayed, the cover faded, and the pages were covered in messy handwriting from years ago. It was a practice guide he'd made himself. List of words, phrases, sentences, and how to correctly pronounce them, even if he couldn't hear it.
He felt his eye sight blur and begin to water. It's okay. Suck it up. He opened to a familiar page and placed the book on the desk. Sitting down, he pressed his lips together, forcing himself to focus. Slowly, and carefully, he began speaking. "A-Abble. No- not right." He read the words carefully: To make the p, pop the sound, there's air. Feel the air. A b does not have air coming out, but a p does.
"Apple," He mumbled to himself. He had lost his touch from not revising in a while, that's why he's been messing up so much recently. "Ball. Coffee..." His voice wavered on the "f" sound, and his brows furrowed as he tried again, "Coffee."
He moved down the list, his voice shaky and uneven at times, but he didn't notice too much. He forced himself to speak and repeat each word, until he felt like it was right. He pronounced all the hard ones he had trouble with.
His lips moved with mechanical precision, his eyes scanning the page for the next phrase. "H— Hello, my name is.. is Izuku Midoriya." He paused, swallowing hard before continuing. "I'm fine. How are you? Thank you. Blea— Please."
This was what he did. This was what he's done. He repeated words over and over until his throat ached, all to ensure no one besides Ochako didn't know. No one could ever suspect he was different. That he was deaf.
He stopped after a while, his shoulders trembling as he stared at the book. It had been his lifeline, his shield. But now, looking at the cracked hearing aids, and shaky handwriting on the page, he wondered how much longer he could keep this up.