ILY - [BKDK] | MHA - Chapter 18: Chapter 18

Izuku stood in the middle of the hallway, his books pressed tightly against his chest. His breathing was shallow as he glanced nervously at the students around him. Everything seemed off—their stares lingered a second too long. He could feel the weight of their gazes burned into their skin. He couldn't hear a single word. It was the way some of them looked at him, like he was some sort of stranger.
Izuku forced himself to move, one step as a time, his sneakers squeaking faintly against the polished floors. His heart raced with each step, the whispers from his junior high grew louder in his head, like an echo he couldn't escape.
Somewhere in the distance, he saw Ochako. Relief flooded through his chest. She was standing at the end of the hallway, gripping the strap of her bag with a look on her face that Izuku couldn't quite place. Was it guilt? Hesitation?
"Uraraka!" He called out, hoping he was loud enough to be heard. He had no idea if he was louder than the hallway, after all. He hurried towards her.
But before he could reach her, Katsuki stepped in the way.
"Deku." Was what he could make out from reading his lips. His heart stopped. He looked pissed. The blond's arms were crossed over his chest, his fiery red eyes blazing with a mixture of anger and... betrayal?
Izuku's breath hitched. "Kacchan?" He asked cautiously, his grip on the strap of his bag tightening.
"Don't 'Kacchan' me, you damn nerd!" Katsuki looked like he snapped. "So it's true, huh? You've been lying to us this whole time?"
Izuku froze, his mind racing. "W-What? Lying? A—About what?"
Katsuki scoffed, his lip curling into a sneer. "Don't play dumb. You've been hiding the fact that you're deaf all this time, and you never thought to tell me us?"
The world tilted on its axis. Izuku's breath caught in his throat, and his vision blurred for a moment. How? How did Katsuki know? His eyes darted to the brunette, who still hadn't moved from her spot. She was biting her lip, clutching her bag like it was the only thing keeping her upright.
"You... You told him?" Izuku whispered, his voice barely audible.
Ochako flinched at the accusation. "Deku, I... I didn't mean for it to get out," she said softly, her voice was trembling. "I just—I thought they deserved to know."
Izuku's heart shattered. "You thought they deserved to know?" He repeated, his voice cracking. His grip on his bag loosened, and it fell to the ground with a thud. "I trusted you, Ochako! I told you because I-I thought you'd understand!" His voice cracked.
"I do understand!" She protested, tears welling up in her eyes. "But I didn't want you to keep hiding it! I thought that if they knew, they'd support you—"
"Support me?" Izuku immediately cut her off the moment he understood. He laughed bitterly, his hands trembling at his sides. "Look around! Do they look supportive to you?"
Students had dropped what they were doing to watch the scene unfold, their expressions raining from curiosity to judgement.
Katsuki stepped closer, "You should've told me first, Deku. But no, you went and told that stupid Round Face. What, you don't trust me or somethin'?"
Izuku shook his head, tears pricking at his eyes, "It's not about trust! I just... I-I didn't... I didn't know how to tell you." He began backing up.
"You didn't know how to tell me?" Katsuki's anger boiled over. "What the hell else have you been hiding?!"
Izuku stumbled back more, his heart pounding. "Nothing! I swear!"
"Yeah, right," Katsuki growled. "You're a damn liar, Deku. You've been lying to all of us."
Izuku's knees felt weak as he looked around for someone—anyone—to defend him. "Shinso!" He managed to choke out, but there was no Shinso around. The crowd of students stared at him like he was a sideshow attraction.
"See? I told you." It was the only voice he heard. That was weird. He was deaf. How could he?...
He turned around to see Monoma, a smug smile on his face as he sauntered forward. "Didn't I say this would happen, Midoriya? The truth always comes out. People like you can't hide forever."
"Shut up!" Izuku shouted, his voice cracking. His fists clenched at his sides, his entire body trembling. "Y-You don't know anything about me or my friends!"
"Oh, but I do," Monoma said, his grin widening. "I know that you're a coward. I know that you're too scared to face reality. And now, everyone else knows it too."
Izuku's breath hitched as the words echoed his mind. He turned back to katsuki, hoping—praying— for him to say something, to stand up for him. But Katsuki's face was a mask of cold fury.
"You're pathetic." Katsuki said, his glare cutting through Izuku like a blade. "I don't want anything to do with you anymore."
"K-Kacchan..." Izuku whispered, his voice breaking.
But Katsuki didn't respond, he turned on his heel and walked away, the crowd parting to let him through. One by one, the students followed, he could tell their whispers were louder than ever, even if he couldn't hear it.
Within a blink of an eye, it was lunch time. Everyone seemed to be excluding him in everything.
Tenya wouldn't talk to him unless it was necessary. Shoto wouldn't even bother, neither did Tsu. Shinso... Shinso just glanced at him occasionally, he couldn't read him. He couldn't tell.
Izuku stood at the center of the cafeteria, his tray trembling in his hands. His eyes darted nervously around the room, but there was no escape. Every table he looked at felt like it was staring right back at him. Their eyes weren't kind or curious; they were cold and judgmental, full of something he couldn't name but could feel tearing into him like claws.
He swallowed hard and forced himself to move forward, feet as heavy as though his body was trying to betray him. He spotted Katsuki's table, and perked up. Katsuki was there. Mina, Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero were talking with him, animatedly. Maybe he could straighten things up this time.
But as he approached, the energy at the table shifted, their laughs faded, their smiles dropped. Katsuki froze when he saw him, his hands gripping his chopsticks tightly. Mina's eyes flickered towards him, her expression unreadable for a moment before it turned guarded, almost hostile.
Izuku hesitated, the weight of his own tray growing unbearable. "H-Hey guys," he stammered, forcing a nervous smile.
Nobody answered right away. Katsuki didn't even bother looking at him.
"What do you want, Midoriya?" Kirishima asked.
Izuku flinched at his sharp gaze, "I... I thought I'd sit with you." He said, his voice shaking.
Kirishima sighed, leaning forward. "Look, man, we all heard about... y'know, the secret," he said, his face laced with disappointment. "And honestly, I'm just trying to figure out why you didn't trust us enough."
"I-I just didn't know how to—" Izuku said quickly.
"Didn't know how to?" Mina cut in, her eyes narrowing. "Come on, Midoriya. That's not an excuse. We're your friends. Or at least, we thought we were."
"I-I didn't want to make it seem like I didn't trust you!" Izuku stammered.
Kaminari shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "It's not just that, man. I mean, you're deaf, so... it's just— it's not the same."
Izuku's heart dropped. Not this again.
He for some reason glanced at Katsuki, hoping he'd give in.
"I thought I was special," Katsuki glared at him. "But now, I just feel like an idiot for believing that."
"No, K-Kacchan, that's not true!" Izuku cried, his voice cracking. "You are special to me! You all are!"
"You're just... different, Midoriya." Kirishima stood up. "You're not like us." Why did Kirishima have Monoma's voice all of a sudden?
"Broken. That's what you are. Broken." Katsuki glared. No, no... that sounds like Monoma.
The cafeteria felt like it was closing in on him. Izuku's vision blurred as tears welled up in his eyes. He saw all his other friends, approach him with the same look, same words. Broken.
"I-I was scared," he admitted. "I- I didn't wanna lose you! I didn't want you all to see me differently!"
"Too late for that." Katsuki muttered, his tone cold.
The words hit him like a physical blow. He staggered back a step, clutching his tray as if it could somehow anchor him.
And then the laughter started. That sounded familiar.
It came from a nearby table, where Monoma was sitting with his usual smug grin. He stood up, clapping slowly as if he were watching a performance.
"Well, isn't this heartwarming?" Monoma sneered, "The tragic tale of Izuku Midoriya, the boy who thought he could keep his pathetic little secret forever. Newsflash: you're not special. You're just a coward who can't face reality."
"Shut up, Monoma!" Izuku snapped.
"Why?" Monoma asked, spreading his arms theatrically. "You don't like hearing the truth? Face it, Midoriya. You're not just deaf—"
"You're useless. You're a liability." Katsuki spat.
"No wonder your so called friends are finally waking up and realizing it." Monoma smirked.
"K-Kacchan, I—"
"Don't fuckin' call me that." Katsuki snapped. "You've been lying to us this whole time. Do you have any idea how pathetic that makes you look? How pathetic that makes me look?"
Izuku stumbled back, dropping his tray of food. His knees threatened to give out. "I.."
"Bullshit." Katsuki shouted. "You're a useless piece of shit. Always have been, always will be. Monoma was right. You don't deserve any of us."
Izuku's breath hitched, the tears he'd been holding back spilling over. "Kacchan, please," He begged. "I-I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I just... I don't know how to—"
"Save it." Katsuki said coldly. "You're not worth it."
The room spun around him, the faces of his blurring into a sea of contempt and disappointment. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. All he could do was run.
He ran out of the cafeteria, the whispers and the laughter following him like a ghost.
When he finally stopped, he was outside, the cold air biting at his skin. He collapsed onto the ground, burying his face in his hands as sobs wrecked his body.
It was a dream. It had to be a dream.
But it felt so real. Too real.
You're broken.
And then he woke up.
Izuku sat in bed, grasping for air. His heart was pounding, his body drenched in sweat. He glanced around his dorm room, disoriented and panicked. It took him several moments to realize that it had all been a dream.
He sat up quickly, wiping his face with shaky hands, but it didn't matter. He scanned the room, slowly taking in the familiar, yet not alien sight of his desk. And then, his gaze fell on them.
The hearing aids.
They were discarded carelessly in the corner of his desk, the small pieces of technology forgotten like shattered remnants of something that no longer belonged in this world. He couldn't tell if it was the pain in his chest that made his breath catch or the sudden weight of the realization that they were no longer a part of him—his secret, his life.
The nightmare was gone, but the truth was still there, glaring at him in the quiet room. His heart clenched in his chest as he stared at the broken pieces of his hearing aids, the silent reminder of what he could never escape.
Izuku's body shook as he slowly reached for the pieces, his fingers trembling so violently that it took him a moment to grasp one of the hearing aids. He held it in his hand, the plastic cool against his skin, but it felt so much heavier than it ever had been. So much heavier than it ever had been. The guilt and shame washed over him like a tidal wave.
He wanted to run away. Tears started to well in his eyes, blurring his vision as the weight of everything he'd kept hidden from them sank in. The betrayal he felt in the nightmare—those cold, hurtful words, those were words he had feared, words that always haunted him. And now, they were here, in the waking world, staring him down. He could already feel the echoes of their disappointment, the weight of their judgement, crashing down on him like a thousand pounds.
The sob that escaped his chest was so raw, so full of pain, it felt like a sound that came from deep inside of him—some place he had buried so far down in order to keep going.
But he couldn't hear it. It was muted.
His vision blurred as tears spilled over, running down his cheeks and dripping onto his hand.
Izuku couldn't stop crying. He couldn't control it. He breaths came in short, strangled gasps, and his chest hurt as if the very act of crying was tearing him apart from inside. The silent, suffocating world around him felt so much more bearable now. He had never wanted this. Never wanted to be seen as weak. Never wanted to be someone people would pity, someone people would look with disgust.
It hurt. Everything hurt. His heart. His soul. The very idea of being seen as different, as lesser. It hurt in a way that no one had ever been able to understand. And now, as tears feel, sobs wracking his body, he realized something he hadn't admitted to himself before: he was so afraid of being left behind. Afraid that he'd never be able to get their approval, their trust again.
Katsuki tossed and turned in his bed, the sheets twisted around his legs like restraints. Sleep refused to come. His mind was chaotic storm of thoughts—Monoma's smug face, the notes, his bruises, and the constant, nagging suspicion that something wasn't right with Izuku. That damn nerd was hiding something, and Katsuki hated being in the dark.
With a groan of frustration, Katsuki sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. His dorm room felt suffocating, the air thick and heavy. Bye needed to get out, even if just for a moment. Maybe a walk or a glass of water would clear his head. Pulling a hoodie over his bare chest, he quickly slipped out of the room, letting the cool air of the hallway greet him.
The halls were silent, bathed in the dim glow of emergency lights. Most of the dormitory was asleep by now, and Katsuki was grateful for the solitude. He padded down the corridor, hands shoved into his pockets, his footsteps muffled against the carpet floor.
As he turned the corner, he found himself near Izuku's dorm. It wasn't intentional—at least that's what he told himself—but as he passed by, something stopped him in his tracks. Faint noises. Crying. Katsuki's sharp ears picked up ok the muffled sounds and he froze. His brows knitted together, a wave of unease washing over him.
He stepped closer to the door, tilting his head to confirm what he was hearing. The sound was unmistakable now—a choked sob, shaky breaths, the kind of crying that came from deep pain. Katsuki clenched his fists.
"Deku?" He called out, his voice low and firm. There was no response.
He knocked lightly on the door. "Oi, nerd. I know you're in there. Open up."
Still nothing. The crying continued, muffled but persistent. Katsuki's frown deepened. his heart was beating a little faster. Was Deku ignoring him? That didn't make sense. Izuku wasn't the type to just shut someone out, especially not after everything that had happened lately. But, Monoma did say...
"Oh, Bakugo. so quick to defend your little friend. I honestly didn't think you two would get so close. Isn't that sweet? But maybe—just maybe—you don't know him as well as you think you do."
So Katsuki wasn't even sure if he knew him anymore.
Katsuki knocked again, harder this time. "Deku! I swear, if you don't open this door—"
But the sobbing didn't stop, and Izuku still didn't answer. Katsuki stood there for a moment, feeling a strange mix of frustration and concern bubbling up inside him. Something wasn't right. Why wasn't he answering him?
Katsuki let out a soft, frustrated huff, and leaned against the door, sliding down until he was sitting in the floor. The door was locked, so it wasn't like he could barge in either. His back rested against the wood, his head tilted back as he stared at the ceiling. The crying in the other side continued, softer but no less heartbreaking.
Katsuki didn't know what to do. For the first time in a long time, he felt... helpless. He hated it. He hated not being able to fix something, not being able to punch the problem away. He wanted to break down the door and shake Izuku until he stopped crying, until he explained what the hell was going on, but he couldn't do that. Not this time.
"Damn nerd," he muttered under his breath, his voice barely a whisper. "What the hell's got you so messed up?"
He rested his elbows on his knees, letting his head hang. The quiet of the hallway felt oppressive now, the only sound the faint, broken sobs coming from inside Izuku's dorm. Katsuki clenched his jaw. He hated this feeling, the weight in his chest that he couldn't shake. He hated seeing Izuku like this—no, hearing him like this.
Katsuki didn't move him his spot at the door. He didn't know how long he sat there, listening to his muffled crying and occasional hiccuped breath. Minutes felt like hours, and every sound from the other side of the door twisted the knife in his gut deeper.
Finally when the crying seemed to die down into soft sniffles, Katsuki exhaled shakily.
"I don't know what the hell's going on with you, Izuku," he said quietly, his voice rough but sincere. "But whatever it is, you don't have to deal with it alone, alright? You've got people who—" He stopped himself, swallowing hard. "You've got people who care, okay? So... So stop crying already, dumbass."
He didn't expect an answer. He didn't even know if Izuku could hear him, but he hoped—he prayed—that his words reached him somehow. Katsuki stayed there a little longer, just sitting in the quiet hallway outside Izuku's door, before finally pushing himself to his feet.
He lingered for a moment, staring at the door as if willing it to open. But it didn't. With a resigned sigh, Katsuki turned and walked away, the weight in his chest heavier than ever.