Ishqiya - Chapter 22: Chapter 22
You are reading Ishqiya, Chapter 22: Chapter 22. Read more chapters of Ishqiya.
"papaji dekho na yaar Mummy bina wajah mujhe force kar rhi hai jaane ke liye", I whined stomping my feet as I walked towards my father
"Kya Hua abhi tujhe?", my father tsked at me as he noticed me sitting near him
"Aapki biwi, aapki biwi mujhe shaadi meh chalne ko khe rhi hai", I answered back making his eyebrows furrow in confusion
"Abhi jyada drama na kar aur taiyar ho ja, aur vaise bhi agar tu kisi ke Ghar shaadi-byah meh nhi jaayegi toh tere Ghar kaun aayega ha?", mummy descended the stairs as she dumped the sun-dried clothes on the near couch. She sat down in Indian style and started folding the clothes.
I dragged my lazy self near her and took hold of a cloth, helping her fold it in order to coax her. "Yaar Mummy jana zaruri nhi hai na, vaise dekho kitni thand hai bahar bina wajah bimar padh jana hai maine", I replied back rubbing my nose
"Kaha thand hai? Kuch thand nhi hai bahar, aur aise kaise akeli ladki ko Ghar meh chor kar Jaye, ghar ki shaadi hai, late latip ho gaya toh.", she glared at me making me scrunch my nose in annoyance. "Aur waise bhi puttar uss baat ko na 6 mahine beet gye hai, bhul ja ab", she added back her tone soft
"Aise kaise bhul jaaun mummy, 6 mahine ho jaaye ya 6 saal maine nhi jana unke Ghar ya unki shaadi meh", my voice rose as I stood up in annoyance making my mother more angrier than I intended. "Besharm, abhi apni maa se uchi aawaz meh baat karegi,", she scolded throwing a t-shirt at me which directly landed on my face
With a sigh, I dramatically sat down on the couch again and looked at my father with a crying face. "I don't want to go, papaji, samjhaiye na mummy ko", I pouted
"Bhai mujhe iss Maa-beti ke yudh meh Naa hi ghasito toh behtar rhega, mai chala yaha se", my eyes grew wide as I stared at my father in bewilder as he walked away from the scene, I felt a pang of betrayal hit me more strongly than Hitman's pull-shot. Did my father just betrayed me? Me, apne hi khoon ke saath? Apni ek lauti awlad ke saath daga! Traitor
"Ja abhi jaldi se taiyar ho ja aur jyada nautanki na kar, dekh tere papaji bhi chale gye", Mummy commented and with a grim look, I walked towards my room like a dead zombie.
I glared at the dress laid on the bed which I was supposed to wear for the event. I just didn't want to go. All I wanted to do was lay in my bed, watch the recaps of CWC 2023 and ball my eyes out in the end, per mere Ghar waale hai ki samjhte hi nhi. Moye Moye~~
It all happened during my uncle's wedding. Mere mama ki shaadi jho 6 mahine pehle Hui thi.
On the wedding day, during the joota chupai rasam, [translation: The ultimate goal of this tradition is to steal the Groom's shoes, once he takes them off as part of South Asian custom, as he makes his way to the Mandap. The culprits, also known as the sisters, cousins and other female relatives of the Bride, then loot the shoes and find a discrete hiding place for them.], the sister of the bride, aka meri mama ki behen [translation: aunt's sister] created a big scene. She made a big fuss because the groom side, aka us, didn't give them a fair share in hiding the shoes and played unfairly. I was the one who sneaked the shoes under my expensive 10 kilos se bhi jyada bhaari lehenga, [translation: Lehenga heavier than 10 kg] and she accused us of not playing fair.
Indian shaadi hai, aur kalesh toh hona hi hai toh Lo Bhai ho gaya siyappa.
After a lot of verbal debate and hateful glances, I was made to give them the shoes which they literally took by cheating and started flexing about it.
Pura Mera mood hi kharab kar diya tha unhone toh. Totally kaleshi aurat I tell you. [Translation: she had completely spoiled my mood. Totally mood spoiler woman I tell you]
And today was her wedding which I didn't want to attend at any cost. After our last encounter at the wedding, I had sworn not to come face to face or meet her ever, per meri toh kismat meh hi daag hai, [translation: my luck is stained].
My mother was adamant about taking me along with her to the wedding.
Per Mai bhi Suhana Bajwa theri, iss badle ki Aag ko bujne nhi dungi. Badla toh maine lekar hi rehna hai, chahe kuch bhi ho jaye.
I quickly got red in the red lehenga, the blouse had a full sleeve much to my relief, at least it would keep me warm in the open lawn, warna meri toh itni Thad meh kulfi hi ban Jani thi.
An hour later I walked downstairs only to notice mummy straightening the pleats of her saare and papaji searching talking on the phone, maybe with Mama I guess.
"Suhana beta zara idhar aana, meri saree ke pleats thik kar de", mummy called while fiddling with her saare. I walked towards her and crouched down helping her.
After nearly five minutes we started for the venue with mummy ranting as always about how my father forgot about where he last kept his car keys. We reached the venue and with my judging eyes, I analysed the whole decoration like a Desi fufaji would do. [Translation: Indian uncle]
The moment I stepped inside the lawn I was greeted with a muffled ranting of some random relative.
"Didi kya batau aapko, WhatsApp per card bheja tha, ab kaun bhejta hai patrika WhatsApp pe, chalo bhej Diya per ab ek phone toh kar lo ki aapko aana hai fufaji ko aana. Sach batau Mera toh aane ka bilkul Mann nhi tha per meri kajal nhi maani,muh fula liya,abhi bacchon ki zidd toh manni padhti hai na aur chintu ke papa bhi khel rhe the ki Ghar ki aakhri shaadi hai aaise jaayenge nhi toh accha nhi lagega...", the lady whispered with a weird expression. Yeh lo shuru ho gye!
I royally ignored the ladies and squinted my eyes trying to find my cousin so that at least I would have some company and won't get bored. I was searching when I felt a tap on my shoulder, turning around I came face to face with a wall, a really big wall. Note the sarcasm!
I raised my head and forced my lashes towards my brother who patted my head like I was some sort of dog. Gosh! I tell you he is tall, really really tall. At the age of 17 he'd extend more than 5'10 I bet. Every male cousin of mine was tall and they were hell-bent on making me realise that I was a draft as compared to them. Khambe kahile, [translation: literally pole]
"So you finally showed up", Sushant, my cousin older than a year commented looking down upon me, he was aware of my rivalry towards the supposed bride. Well! since we didn't have a big age gap we decided to drop the honorifics. Ham chhote logo ki bhi kuch izzat hoti hai yaar, sab hamse ser jukakar baat karte hai,
[translation: We small people also have some respect, everyone talks to us with their heads bowed down.]
"I swear I didn't want to come but mummy yaar, besides who would say no to some really delicious food, chal starters try karte hai", I replied and dragged him towards the food stalls.
Sushant and I were enjoying the starters when we heard band and dhols being played. Oh! So the barat[translation] finally arrived. I was the least bothered about it, my main focus was on the most awaited joota chupai. Even though I was from the bride's side, per chole bhature ki kasam Aaj toh ladki walo ko nhi jeetne dungi, bohot udai thi na mama ki shaadi meh meri, aaj dekna! *Evil laugh*
After the wedding procession along with the groom was welcomed inside I was waiting for someone helpful on the groom's side. I eyed every member of my age group but none caught my eye much to my irritation.
"Bhai yaar yeh sab toh shakal se chomu lag rhe hai, yeh mere plan ko anjaam kya plan hi nhi samajh payenge", I clicked my tongue in annoyance. "tu abhi bhi usi per latki Hui hai Suha, grow up kiddo", Sushant remarked with a furrowed eyebrows
"Bhul jaaun? Aise kaise bhul jaaun! Ek bar joh maine commitment kar di ... uske baad toh main khud ki bhi nahi sunti! Aur issbar baat toh mere gurur ki! Inn sab ko nani toh mai yaad dilakar rahungi", I flicked my nose animatedly and flipped my hair. Sushant just tsked at my dramatic behaviour and whispered a faint, "drama queen" which I decided to ignore for now
After some time Sushant left my side in the pretext of using the washroom and I was left alone near the ice cream stall. All by myself I swayed my body to the soft music playing in the background as they flashed the pre-wedding photo shoot on the LED screen.
My sharp near suddenly caught the sound of hush whispers. I saw two boys around 14-15 murmuring to each other. They seemed to be from the groom's side since I partially knew every dhulandar,[translation:], from the bride's side. I leaned more towards them when I heard, "Bhai jooto ka kaisa karna hai?", an evil smirk danced on my face since I got what I wanted
I briskly walked towards the duo trying to not trip on my heels and lehenga. "Hey!", I flashed them my brightest smile
Both of them turned towards me looking at me in confusion. "You're from the groom's side right?", I questioned to which they nodded making me smile in victory
"Great!", they stared at me weirdly at my sudden enthusiasm. "Joote chupane hai?", I asked again
"Ham kuch bhi kare aapse kya?", one of them dressed in a navy blue three-piece suit replied. "arey mai toh bas tumhari help kar rhi hu", I answered trying to ignore his tone and not knock some sense into him.
Tu Bach Gaya bete kyuki abhi mujhe Teri zarurat hai, meri yeh condition na hoti na toh tujhe bhi bata deti baap kaun hai yaha, ha nhi toh!
"I'm sorry on his behalf, aap kya keh rhi thi phele? Kaise madat karengi hamari", the other sensible one asked making me smile. I stepped towards them and narrated my whole plan to them.
"Per ham, kaise bharosa karle aap per", the navy blue suit guy questioned again looking at me suspiciously as more crowds similar to our age surrounded us, but his stare annoyed me more. So to clarify their doubts I unfolded the whole wedding fiasco that happened with me in front of them.
Their expressions were comical as different 'ohs!', 'shit man! That's bad, left their mouths. I sorrowfully shook my head and wiped a non-existent tear from my eye.
"Per yeh plan pakka kaam karega?", one of them unsurely asked again.
"Yaar! Don't underestimate the power of a common woman, yeh plan pakka kaam karega", I insisted, flipping my hair in a cinematic way
Ab aayega maza, Aaj toh shaadi meh tamashe honge, dard bhi hoga aur cheeken bhi niklenge dekh Lena. Abhi bas dekho aage aage hota hai kya Babu bhaiya!*Evil laugh*
"Kya Hua abhi tujhe?", my father tsked at me as he noticed me sitting near him
"Aapki biwi, aapki biwi mujhe shaadi meh chalne ko khe rhi hai", I answered back making his eyebrows furrow in confusion
"Abhi jyada drama na kar aur taiyar ho ja, aur vaise bhi agar tu kisi ke Ghar shaadi-byah meh nhi jaayegi toh tere Ghar kaun aayega ha?", mummy descended the stairs as she dumped the sun-dried clothes on the near couch. She sat down in Indian style and started folding the clothes.
I dragged my lazy self near her and took hold of a cloth, helping her fold it in order to coax her. "Yaar Mummy jana zaruri nhi hai na, vaise dekho kitni thand hai bahar bina wajah bimar padh jana hai maine", I replied back rubbing my nose
"Kaha thand hai? Kuch thand nhi hai bahar, aur aise kaise akeli ladki ko Ghar meh chor kar Jaye, ghar ki shaadi hai, late latip ho gaya toh.", she glared at me making me scrunch my nose in annoyance. "Aur waise bhi puttar uss baat ko na 6 mahine beet gye hai, bhul ja ab", she added back her tone soft
"Aise kaise bhul jaaun mummy, 6 mahine ho jaaye ya 6 saal maine nhi jana unke Ghar ya unki shaadi meh", my voice rose as I stood up in annoyance making my mother more angrier than I intended. "Besharm, abhi apni maa se uchi aawaz meh baat karegi,", she scolded throwing a t-shirt at me which directly landed on my face
With a sigh, I dramatically sat down on the couch again and looked at my father with a crying face. "I don't want to go, papaji, samjhaiye na mummy ko", I pouted
"Bhai mujhe iss Maa-beti ke yudh meh Naa hi ghasito toh behtar rhega, mai chala yaha se", my eyes grew wide as I stared at my father in bewilder as he walked away from the scene, I felt a pang of betrayal hit me more strongly than Hitman's pull-shot. Did my father just betrayed me? Me, apne hi khoon ke saath? Apni ek lauti awlad ke saath daga! Traitor
"Ja abhi jaldi se taiyar ho ja aur jyada nautanki na kar, dekh tere papaji bhi chale gye", Mummy commented and with a grim look, I walked towards my room like a dead zombie.
I glared at the dress laid on the bed which I was supposed to wear for the event. I just didn't want to go. All I wanted to do was lay in my bed, watch the recaps of CWC 2023 and ball my eyes out in the end, per mere Ghar waale hai ki samjhte hi nhi. Moye Moye~~
It all happened during my uncle's wedding. Mere mama ki shaadi jho 6 mahine pehle Hui thi.
On the wedding day, during the joota chupai rasam, [translation: The ultimate goal of this tradition is to steal the Groom's shoes, once he takes them off as part of South Asian custom, as he makes his way to the Mandap. The culprits, also known as the sisters, cousins and other female relatives of the Bride, then loot the shoes and find a discrete hiding place for them.], the sister of the bride, aka meri mama ki behen [translation: aunt's sister] created a big scene. She made a big fuss because the groom side, aka us, didn't give them a fair share in hiding the shoes and played unfairly. I was the one who sneaked the shoes under my expensive 10 kilos se bhi jyada bhaari lehenga, [translation: Lehenga heavier than 10 kg] and she accused us of not playing fair.
Indian shaadi hai, aur kalesh toh hona hi hai toh Lo Bhai ho gaya siyappa.
After a lot of verbal debate and hateful glances, I was made to give them the shoes which they literally took by cheating and started flexing about it.
Pura Mera mood hi kharab kar diya tha unhone toh. Totally kaleshi aurat I tell you. [Translation: she had completely spoiled my mood. Totally mood spoiler woman I tell you]
And today was her wedding which I didn't want to attend at any cost. After our last encounter at the wedding, I had sworn not to come face to face or meet her ever, per meri toh kismat meh hi daag hai, [translation: my luck is stained].
My mother was adamant about taking me along with her to the wedding.
Per Mai bhi Suhana Bajwa theri, iss badle ki Aag ko bujne nhi dungi. Badla toh maine lekar hi rehna hai, chahe kuch bhi ho jaye.
I quickly got red in the red lehenga, the blouse had a full sleeve much to my relief, at least it would keep me warm in the open lawn, warna meri toh itni Thad meh kulfi hi ban Jani thi.
An hour later I walked downstairs only to notice mummy straightening the pleats of her saare and papaji searching talking on the phone, maybe with Mama I guess.
"Suhana beta zara idhar aana, meri saree ke pleats thik kar de", mummy called while fiddling with her saare. I walked towards her and crouched down helping her.
After nearly five minutes we started for the venue with mummy ranting as always about how my father forgot about where he last kept his car keys. We reached the venue and with my judging eyes, I analysed the whole decoration like a Desi fufaji would do. [Translation: Indian uncle]
The moment I stepped inside the lawn I was greeted with a muffled ranting of some random relative.
"Didi kya batau aapko, WhatsApp per card bheja tha, ab kaun bhejta hai patrika WhatsApp pe, chalo bhej Diya per ab ek phone toh kar lo ki aapko aana hai fufaji ko aana. Sach batau Mera toh aane ka bilkul Mann nhi tha per meri kajal nhi maani,muh fula liya,abhi bacchon ki zidd toh manni padhti hai na aur chintu ke papa bhi khel rhe the ki Ghar ki aakhri shaadi hai aaise jaayenge nhi toh accha nhi lagega...", the lady whispered with a weird expression. Yeh lo shuru ho gye!
I royally ignored the ladies and squinted my eyes trying to find my cousin so that at least I would have some company and won't get bored. I was searching when I felt a tap on my shoulder, turning around I came face to face with a wall, a really big wall. Note the sarcasm!
I raised my head and forced my lashes towards my brother who patted my head like I was some sort of dog. Gosh! I tell you he is tall, really really tall. At the age of 17 he'd extend more than 5'10 I bet. Every male cousin of mine was tall and they were hell-bent on making me realise that I was a draft as compared to them. Khambe kahile, [translation: literally pole]
"So you finally showed up", Sushant, my cousin older than a year commented looking down upon me, he was aware of my rivalry towards the supposed bride. Well! since we didn't have a big age gap we decided to drop the honorifics. Ham chhote logo ki bhi kuch izzat hoti hai yaar, sab hamse ser jukakar baat karte hai,
[translation: We small people also have some respect, everyone talks to us with their heads bowed down.]
"I swear I didn't want to come but mummy yaar, besides who would say no to some really delicious food, chal starters try karte hai", I replied and dragged him towards the food stalls.
Sushant and I were enjoying the starters when we heard band and dhols being played. Oh! So the barat[translation] finally arrived. I was the least bothered about it, my main focus was on the most awaited joota chupai. Even though I was from the bride's side, per chole bhature ki kasam Aaj toh ladki walo ko nhi jeetne dungi, bohot udai thi na mama ki shaadi meh meri, aaj dekna! *Evil laugh*
After the wedding procession along with the groom was welcomed inside I was waiting for someone helpful on the groom's side. I eyed every member of my age group but none caught my eye much to my irritation.
"Bhai yaar yeh sab toh shakal se chomu lag rhe hai, yeh mere plan ko anjaam kya plan hi nhi samajh payenge", I clicked my tongue in annoyance. "tu abhi bhi usi per latki Hui hai Suha, grow up kiddo", Sushant remarked with a furrowed eyebrows
"Bhul jaaun? Aise kaise bhul jaaun! Ek bar joh maine commitment kar di ... uske baad toh main khud ki bhi nahi sunti! Aur issbar baat toh mere gurur ki! Inn sab ko nani toh mai yaad dilakar rahungi", I flicked my nose animatedly and flipped my hair. Sushant just tsked at my dramatic behaviour and whispered a faint, "drama queen" which I decided to ignore for now
After some time Sushant left my side in the pretext of using the washroom and I was left alone near the ice cream stall. All by myself I swayed my body to the soft music playing in the background as they flashed the pre-wedding photo shoot on the LED screen.
My sharp near suddenly caught the sound of hush whispers. I saw two boys around 14-15 murmuring to each other. They seemed to be from the groom's side since I partially knew every dhulandar,[translation:], from the bride's side. I leaned more towards them when I heard, "Bhai jooto ka kaisa karna hai?", an evil smirk danced on my face since I got what I wanted
I briskly walked towards the duo trying to not trip on my heels and lehenga. "Hey!", I flashed them my brightest smile
Both of them turned towards me looking at me in confusion. "You're from the groom's side right?", I questioned to which they nodded making me smile in victory
"Great!", they stared at me weirdly at my sudden enthusiasm. "Joote chupane hai?", I asked again
"Ham kuch bhi kare aapse kya?", one of them dressed in a navy blue three-piece suit replied. "arey mai toh bas tumhari help kar rhi hu", I answered trying to ignore his tone and not knock some sense into him.
Tu Bach Gaya bete kyuki abhi mujhe Teri zarurat hai, meri yeh condition na hoti na toh tujhe bhi bata deti baap kaun hai yaha, ha nhi toh!
"I'm sorry on his behalf, aap kya keh rhi thi phele? Kaise madat karengi hamari", the other sensible one asked making me smile. I stepped towards them and narrated my whole plan to them.
"Per ham, kaise bharosa karle aap per", the navy blue suit guy questioned again looking at me suspiciously as more crowds similar to our age surrounded us, but his stare annoyed me more. So to clarify their doubts I unfolded the whole wedding fiasco that happened with me in front of them.
Their expressions were comical as different 'ohs!', 'shit man! That's bad, left their mouths. I sorrowfully shook my head and wiped a non-existent tear from my eye.
"Per yeh plan pakka kaam karega?", one of them unsurely asked again.
"Yaar! Don't underestimate the power of a common woman, yeh plan pakka kaam karega", I insisted, flipping my hair in a cinematic way
Ab aayega maza, Aaj toh shaadi meh tamashe honge, dard bhi hoga aur cheeken bhi niklenge dekh Lena. Abhi bas dekho aage aage hota hai kya Babu bhaiya!*Evil laugh*
End of Ishqiya Chapter 22. Continue reading Chapter 23 or return to Ishqiya book page.