Jake's Kennedy - Chapter 62: Chapter 62

❆Jake❆
God knows how I manage college assignments and those brats at the same time.
Next year of college is going to start and with all that's going on, I'm surprised I'm not lagging behind at all. Actually, my professor said that I'm "way ahead" in my studies and need to "chill".
And when I told that to Kennedy, she practically pushed me out of the house, telling me I need some sun and air. Actually, she told me to touch some grass.
Like hell, I wanna touch some grass. She says I'm getting addicted to having sex.
I'm not.
Okay, maybe, yeah.
Kind of...
Fuck, I'm addicted.
I'm addicted to her.
Anyways, so here I am out in the environment with human beings around, absorbing solar energy.
My back leans against the streetlamp, as I gaze off ahead. Hands in pocket and ankles crossed with my hood up.
Kennedy seems to be getting thinner every day. Abnormally. She's getting tired a lot too. It hurts to see her like that.
Toothy and Corey are a month away from graduating and Kennedy hasn't started going to school yet after being diagnosed. She barely has the strength any more that she used to have.
It's nearing.
It's coming fast and with every passing day, the pieces of my heart keep tearing.
Her death is near.
How did it feel like when mom died?
I remember everything around me going dark as if suddenly someone turned off a switch. I remember my senses plunging into darkness and void.
It's different with Kennedy though. The grief isn't sudden. It's slow. Slowing worming its way into my heart, slowly engulfing me. I've already accepted that she's going to die. It's been hard.
A small headache comes on and I sigh.
Kennedy. Kennedy. Kennedy.
Maybe I should touch some grass.
It takes a moment for me to realize that one of the many passing cars stop directly in front of me.
Looking up, an all too familiar cop truck comes into view. The window rolls down and Alex looks at me from the driver's seat.
"Everything...alright?" He asks.
I don't understand why's he suddenly here or why's he asking me that. But then it hits me that because of the dark clothes and with my hood up, I must be looking like a person going to commit suicide or someone waiting to kidnap someone.
"What are you doing here?" I ask him instead.
"Driving by and saw you all alone." He replies slowly, watching me.
For a moment we gaze at each other. A pang hits my chest when I realize something.
He looks so much older. I don't remember ever looking at him properly. Looking at the exhaustion under his eyes, his narrower face, tiredness written all over his face...slight guilt hits me at not looking after him.
We don't talk much at all and I know it's all my fault. How many years have gone without us interacting properly?
"Where were you?" I ask.
He looks partly surprised maybe because I asked him something instead of shrugging him off. "Had to chase this guy. He was going over the speed limit." He replies and hesitates before asking. "Want to come in? I'm heading home now."
I hesitate for a while, finding it difficult to agree. Alex and I alone in a car? Why does it seem like a tough thing to do?
I watch the little hope on Alex's face falter, and it makes me jump. "Sure."
Relief shines on his face, and I feel terrible. Did I do this to him? Did I make it difficult for a father to talk to his own son?
Slowly I trudge towards the passenger side and open the door, slipping inside and closing the door.
"Seatbelt." He says before clamping his mouth shut as if he said something wrong. "Sorry." He mutters, starting the car. "It's become a habit of always saying that to Kennedy."
I look at him.
Reaching out, I grab the seatbelt and click it in.
He looks at me from the corner of his eye before looking ahead.
Awkward silence fills the air and I mentally curse myself thinking that I could do it without Kennedy's help. I'm the worst person to start a conversation or even make it easy for the other person to do so.
I keep biting my lip waiting for something to happen that'll end this silence, knowing all too damn well that one of us has gotta open their damn mouth.
"Are you..." Alex starts, hesitating. "Are you going to move out? You know after Kennedy...?" He trails off and I know what's he thinking.
Am I gonna move out of his house after Kennedy dies?
Why didn't I move out before?
There was always something that still kept me in that house. I didn't leave and I still don't want to. Now that Kennedy's lived there with me, I would definitely not be wanting to move out.
"Why? Am I a burden?" I ask.
"No." He says immediately, it kinda startled me. He notices that and leans back against his seat. "No. You're not a burden."
I watch him.
"No," I reply after a while, looking out the window. "I'm not moving out."
I don't see his reaction since I'm facing away from him.
Silence fills in the car again and I'm biting my lip.
A question sweeps through my head and I find myself wanting to ask him.
I turn to look at him, rethinking if I should or not.
"How..." I start, grabbing his attention. "How was it like when...mom died?"
His entire demeanour falters and I swear he almost went off track on the road. "W-what?" He looks at me, shocked.
"Why are you so surprised?" My brows furrow.
He looks away, "You never want to talk about her."
I pause, licking my dry lips. "I...It's hard not to think of her when Kennedy's going to leave too."
A gulp goes down his throat and he nods.
"Do you visit her?" I ask.
He nods, a small smile forming on his lips now. "Every week."
Guilt hits me so hard at his reply, it almost brings tears to my eyes. I've never visited her...
"How do you it?" My throat closes up and I don't understand why am I being choked up by my emotions so suddenly. "How do you visit her without being...shattered?"
Alex turns his head and watches me for a long time with an impassive face. He looks back at the road and pulls the car to a stop on the side of the road. I look as he cuts off the engine, drowning us in silence and...remains still for a long moment, not saying anything.
"Who said I'm not shattered?" He asks lowly.
He looks up at me, his face displaying so many emotions.
"What?" I ask.
"I think of her every day." His voice turns down to a whisper. "You remember how she was?" He asks. "Loud, annoying, angry, always ready to beat up someone?" He breaks into a chuckle that silently dims down.
Mom was definitely crazy. I remember her, marching into my kindergarten school once, ready to bitch slap a teacher because he punished me in class for something I didn't do.
"You can't ignore her no matter how silent she might be." Alex continues. "She demands everyone's attention even while doing nothing." He leans against his seat, a distant smile on his face as he talks about her. "If she's in the room, everyone within a ten-mile radius knows she's there. She was a fire." He looks at me. "Damn, she used to have everyone on their knees, and everyone used to be scared shit of her." He chuckles and makes me break into a tiny smile too.
My mind's trapped in a trance with the way Alex talks about her. It's odd I find it surprising to hear Alex talk more than a few words.
"When she left...it was like everything along with her died. It felt as if there was nothing to hold me down and keep me steady. It's been a few couple tough years to accept that she's gone."
"How was it like?" I ask, finding myself eager to know.
"Brutal realizations." He answers, pain flashing across his face. "Waking up in the morning and realizing that she's not there beside you anymore. Wanting to say something and realizing that she's not there to listen anymore. Coming home after a tough day for her to make it better and realizing she can't do it anymore." He gives out a sigh. "It's been seven years but you just...never get used to it." He tightens his hands into fists. "I still feel like I'm going to see her when I get home. I'm gonna see her standing in the kitchen, cooking or dancing to a song. I'm gonna walk up to her and she's gonna smile at me."
His shoulders slump. "It's never easy."
I lean my head back against the seat, knowing damn too well my situation is gonna be the same as Alex's.
"It's not fucking fair." My mouth whispers.
"Life's never fair," He speaks, taking my attention. "Every rose comes with its thorns."
I watch his eyes, very similar to my own. Every rose comes with its thorns? When did he become so wise?
I lick my dry lips again, hesitating, "I...I ignored you...so many times."
"I'm sorry I wasn't there when she died." Sorrow fills Alex's eyes.
I watch him, an emotion in my heart calming down as if I'm finally coming to peace with something. "I'm sorry...for leaving you when you were all alone. I know it was hard for you when mom left and your best friend, Kennedy's dad, died too."
I would never understand half the pain Alex went through. I still have Toothy and Corey with me. He had no one.
"Are we good?" I ask suddenly, just wanting to know that.
His eyebrows raise in surprise. "Yeah." A small smile forms on his lips. "We're good."
I nod and look away, out the window.
He starts the car back and continues driving.
Vibrations fill my pocket and I pull out my phone, reading the caller ID that says Toothy's calling.
I answer her call. "What?"
"Where are you?" She asks.
"Hell," I reply.
"I told you were gonna go there someday." She replies. "Anyways, come get me! Corey's at your house and he said he won't come to get me."
My eyebrows furrow. "At my house? What's he doing there? The only person there is Ken."
"I don't know." She replies. "He said he was doing something magical with her."
What the fuck?
Something magical—
Oh no.
"Oh no." Toothy gasps at the same time.
"Shit, we need to get there right now!" I panic.
"Something magical." I hear Toothy gulp. "Meaning they're...cooking."
"Call the fire department and the ambulance," I tell her. "It's gonna be an emergency." I turn towards Alex. "We need to pick up Toothy and drive home as soon as possible. Our house is going to burn down to ash!"
"Maybe we're overreacting..." Toothy speaks.
"Corey and Kennedy. All alone. In the kitchen." I emphasize.
"Oh shit." Toothy curses. "Let's hope we reach home to save at least a wooden ledge of your house."
I highly doubt that.
✯✯✯
Toothy, Alex and I burst into the house.
"Alright, who died?" I call out.
We pause in the doorway, watching smoke emanate from the kitchen. Our eyes widen. Corey and Kennedy crawl out of the kitchen, holding a wet dish rag to their noses.
They notice us standing in the doorway and stand up, flinging aside the dish rags and smiling innocently.
"Oh heyyy guys." Corey acts as if he's a deer caught in headlights. "What are you people doing here?"
"I live here," I state. "What the fuck are you doing?" Anger flares through me.
"Kennedy and I were just playing a game, right?" He looks at Kennedy. Kennedy immediately nods her head.
"It was a pretty intense game." She says.
Rage courses through my veins and I march up to Corey grabbing him by his collars. "I swear to God. If anything fucking happens to Ken, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you until you can't walk, you got me?" I demand.
"Chill, bro." Corey shrugs me off. "We were just making a pie."
"Yeahhh that's not what it looks like." Toothy who was standing in the kitchen, holding a burned plate of pie, crunches her face in disgust.
"Things got...weird." Corey states.
I ignore him and walk over to Kennedy, engulfing her in my arms and breathing in her calm familiar scent that automatically relaxes me. "You alright?"
She nods. "We were just making a pie."
"What did I tell you about you and the kitchen?"
She huffs. "That I'm not allowed to cook or go in there all by myself?"
"Exactly."
"I just wanted to surprise you with something." She explains.
"You can always surprise me in bed," I suggest.
She slaps my shoulder. "You didn't touch grass, did you?"
I glare at her. "No. Who even told you about touching grasses?" I ask with a frown.
Her eyes flicker to Corey.
My gaze snaps to him and he immediately looks away, pretending to be initiated in a conversation with Toothy. "Ohhh okay. So in order to eat a pie, you don't have to burn the pie." He nods in understanding while Toothy gives him a flat look. "Got it. You're the best sister in the whole wide world."
"Shut up." Toothy cuts him off.
"Your kitchen got ruined." Kennedy says, looking sorry.
I kiss her forehead. "Don't worry about it. Let's get you in your fuzzy socks, alright?"
She nods and I pull her into our room. Mostly to get some alone time with her while Toothy makes Corey clean the kitchen.