Je T'aime. - Chapter 34: Chapter 34
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A bright ray of sunshine woke me up by hitting me directly in the eye. Slowly, I pushed myself up. My head was pounding. Somehow, I had fallen asleep on the chaise in my sitting room. I brushed a piece of greasy hair from my face. There was a wet spot on the chaise where I had drooled in my sleep. I tried to wipe it off with no avail, and resorted to covering it with a pillow.
I glanced around the room. It was soaked in golden morning light, which usually didn't come until ten. On the sofa lay Isabella, dead asleep, turned on her side away from me. She was in her stays and petticoats, her costume garments tossed on the floor. Her shoes were kicked off, still remaining upturned, by the door.
I didn't even remember falling asleep in here. I remembered the carriage ride home, but that was about it. Isabella had dozed off on my lap while the bumpiness of the ride restricted me from getting any rest. My feet still hurt, maybe even worse than the night before. The door from the sitting room to my bedchamber was open, which was closed when we left for the masquerade.
I crept over to where Isabella slept, and noticed that her face was dewy with sweat. I brushed away her hair from the back of her neck in order to cool her down a little. I stood, readjusting myself to account for some dizziness, and opened the windows in my bedchamber. The sound of a calling songbird came into the room with the breeze.
I heard the rustling of fabric as Isabella rolled over, blinking harshly in the sun as I had done. I took a side-step so that my shadow kept the light out of her eyes. She looked at me, her lips curling into the slightest smile, before she put her head back on the pillow again. I came beside the sofa and kneeled on the floor before her, blocking the sun with my head. "Good morning, Sleeping Beauty."
"What time is it?" she whispered hoarsely, her voice breaking through a period of stagnancy.
I glanced over at the clock. "About ten or so."
Isabella groaned as she pushed herself into a seated position. "Does your head hurt as much as mine does?"
"Mmm-hmm," I replied. I moved to try and tame the matted chocolate curls that were out of control atop Isabella's head. "Your hair is a mess."
"Why'd we stay out that late?"
"Because it was fun."
Isabella smiled, remembering the night before. "Yeah, it was fun," she licked her thumb and ran it over the corner of my mouth, clearing whatever was on my face. "You don't look too grand yourself."
"Go back to your apartments and get cleaned up. Joseph's already been up for a few hours now. I'll meet you downstairs."
Lethargically, Isabella stood and returned to her apartments. I took a look at myself in the mirror, and was just a bit repulsed at the reflection that looked back at me. This was going to take a while.
I ran myself over with a wet washcloth to freshen up my skin, and applied some scented oils to my hair. I pinned my hair up away from my neck and secured it with a lacy cap; I wasn't in the mood for pretty hairstyles. Though the temperature outside was about average for mid-March, though with the strange heat that I was feeling, I put on a white dress screen-printed with images of blue florals and birds.
I went downstairs to the drawing room, where Isabella was already seated on the floor with Antonia and Carolina. "What are you ladies up to?"
The three of them turned around, beaming smiles spreading across their faces. I could see dolls and other toys around a low children's tables. Even one of Ferdinand's toy soldiers had a place. "A tea party!"
"I don't see any tea," I replied jokingly. "What's a tea party without tea?"
Isabella rolled her eyes, a smile appearing behind the annoyance. "It's coming."
"See, Mimi?" chirped out Antonia, pointing her finger at each toy. Honeypot the Bear and Miss Kitty and even General Longbottom are here for tea!"
Carolina began to snicker. "Longbottom!"
Antonia cupped her hands around her mouth and lowered her voice to a whisper. "General Longbottom doesn't like fun. So him coming to have tea is a surprise."
Isabella and I made eye contact, Isabella raising her eyebrows. Then the servants came in, carrying everything one needed for a tea party: cups, a pot, sugar cubes in a dish, a cream pitcher, saucers, both straining and spoons, small plates, and a few delicate pastries. The set itself was of a rather simple design; crisp white porcelain was decorated with golden rims and the double-headed eagle of the Holy Roman Empire.
"Antonia, Carolina, what do you say?"
"Thank you!" The servants couldn't help but smile at the innocence of these bright young girls.
Isabella and I began to set up the tea. Antonia had previously reached to pour her cup herself, but at the sight of the steam rising from the open pot she immediately changed her mind. She instead reached for a delicate cake with pale pink frosting.
Footsteps came down the hallway, and soon two figures emerged, peeking around the doorway. "Sorry to interrupt," said a thickly French-accented voice that I recognized as the Dauphin, "But the Empress has dismissed us to your company, fleur. Do you mind if we join you?"
Isabella's face lit up. "Not at all. Girls, this is my uncle Louis the Dauphin of France, and his wife Dauphine Josephine. These are my sisters-in-law, Maria Carolina and Maria Antonia. Maria Christina, I hope, needs no introduction." Isabella looked to me with a faint smile.
"Of course we remember," said the Dauphin, kneeling on the floor between Isabella and his wife. Now that I looked at them side by side, the wide, dark eyes that Isabella possessed must have been a trait from the French side of the family. Isabella and the Dauphin both possessed them.
The Dauphine kept a close eye on Antonia, quietly watching the girl and all that she did. There was a warmth to her face, but she examined the youngest archduchess with much care. As Antonia propped up a slipping doll, the Dauphine whispered to me, "Does she speak French?"
"Not yet," was my simple reply. Antonia had never been the most keen to her education and most likely never would be; I decided to omit that from the Dauphine.
Isabella pulled aside the box that contained the tea and began to read the label. "What kind of tea is this? It's delicious. Chinese! Remind me to have some of this ordered personally."
"Antonia," said the Dauphine so gently that I barely heard her. Antonia glanced up from her slice of cake, popping the decorative raspberry in her mouth. "What do you know about China?"
"They grow tea there and make silk. And they have an emperor, like Mama. But he's a boy. Mama's a girl."
The Dauphine looked to her husband with a subtle raise of the brows. "You're quite right, my dear."
"Emperor Qianlong, to be exact. He's been ruling since 1733, I believe," Isabella stated nonchalantly.
The Dauphin looked over to his niece. "Studying civics, Belle?"
"Oh, yes," replied Isabella with a smile, "As the wife of a future sovereign I thought it was appropriate. Go ahead, Uncle. Quiz me. Give me a country."
"France."
Isabella chuckled. "Louis XV."
"Portugal."
"Joseph I."
"Uhh... Ethiopia."
"Ioyas."
"The Ottoman Empire!"
"Mustafa III."
"Denmark!"
"Frederick V."
"God! Russia!"
"Elizaveta Petrovna."
The Dauphin put his hands up in surrender. "Fine. You win."
Isabella smiled with pride as she took a sip of her tea. "You need to hit the books, Uncle."
"I guess I do," admitted the Dauphin.
There was a sound of footsteps coming down the hall. Madame von Brandeis emerged, seemingly in a hurry. "Girls, what did I tell you about- oh!" She immediately dropped into a curtsy. "Your Royal Highnesses."
"The governess of the Imperial children, Madame Naomi Fitzhalter, Countess von Brandeis," Isabella addressed.
The Dauphin and Dauphine nodded in acknowledgement, and Madame von Brandeis curtsied again. "I'm dreadfully sorry to interrupt, but my charges must return to their studies. Come now, girls."
"Awww!" whined Carolina. "Do we have to? We were having fun!"
"I'm afraid so. Your dance teacher is waiting. Come."
Reluctantly, the girls stood from their places and moped over to their governess. "Oh, Madame," said the Dauphine. Madame von Brandeis turned back around. "I must have a quick word with you. The Empress requested it."
"Of course."
When the girls and their governess were gone, I inquired, "Antonia?"
"The Empress improves of the match whole-heartedly," said the Dauphine, "for either one of our sons. It would help cement the treaty that also rests on your brother's marriage to Isabella. My only concern is her studies. She's a bright girl, I can see that. But she must get her nose into more books while she is still young and manageable. That is my only request."
Isabella sighed. "How I dread the day that I will have to make these decisions."
The Dauphin smiled warmly at his niece. "Your mother thought the same. How you remind me of her."
"She rests easily?" Isabella implored, a kind of delicate sadness taking over her face.
"In the basilica, next to her twin sister. As peaceful as she could be. Your father and your younger siblings paid her a visit."
Isabella took a sip of her tea, as is she attempted to wash away words unspoken. "How are they?"
"Well. Very sweet children. Your grandfather swung Ferdinando into his lap as soon as he could. And your father has a new woman in his life."
Isabella's voice drew quiet, breaking as a single word fell from her lips. "What?" She stuttered as she spoke. "It- it hasn't even been two years."
"That was my exact thought, fleur. She's some actress from Guastalla. She won't last long."
"If you can, tell my father to write me a letter. It's been silence from him since I left Parma."
"I'll try my best. But until then, I must talk to the governess. We'll talk privately tonight, fleur."
"Thank you, Uncle."
As soon as they had left, Isabella let out a sigh. I began to stack up the dirty dishes and put the girls' toys away. "Everything alright?"
"Do you think they know?" Isabella admitted, standing and brushing pastry crumbs from her skirt.
Somehow my memory fled from me. "Know about what?"
"About us," Isabella admitted, her voice tinged with a kind of heart-tearing melancholy. "If word gets out back in France, rumors can spread like wildfire."
"But it won't be a rumor," I said, laying a hand on her shoulder. "I do love you."
"They'll call me an adulteress. Which technically I am, but not with lust. And without context, those at Versailles won't understand."
"I'd be your mistress if it meant that I could still be with you."
Isabella glanced over to me with the sweetest look I had ever seen in her overtaking her entire face. "Oh, Christina. Your optimism is one of your best qualities."
"They may not know the full extent of us," I said, taking Isabella's hand in my own. "And I don't care what they think. And even if they don't know, soon they will feel it. You and I, Isabella- our love is a love that could shake the earth."
"They'll fear us. They'll shun us. They won't understand."
"People still fear earthquakes, don't they? And yet there is nothing that can be done to prevent them."
Everything happened too fast. The love came too fast. The family relations, the politics, the policy of it all. Rotten apples were plated with gold and devils wore crowns. And by God, the shoulders that held the robes of state were difficult to keep straight- in both senses of the term.
I glanced around the room. It was soaked in golden morning light, which usually didn't come until ten. On the sofa lay Isabella, dead asleep, turned on her side away from me. She was in her stays and petticoats, her costume garments tossed on the floor. Her shoes were kicked off, still remaining upturned, by the door.
I didn't even remember falling asleep in here. I remembered the carriage ride home, but that was about it. Isabella had dozed off on my lap while the bumpiness of the ride restricted me from getting any rest. My feet still hurt, maybe even worse than the night before. The door from the sitting room to my bedchamber was open, which was closed when we left for the masquerade.
I crept over to where Isabella slept, and noticed that her face was dewy with sweat. I brushed away her hair from the back of her neck in order to cool her down a little. I stood, readjusting myself to account for some dizziness, and opened the windows in my bedchamber. The sound of a calling songbird came into the room with the breeze.
I heard the rustling of fabric as Isabella rolled over, blinking harshly in the sun as I had done. I took a side-step so that my shadow kept the light out of her eyes. She looked at me, her lips curling into the slightest smile, before she put her head back on the pillow again. I came beside the sofa and kneeled on the floor before her, blocking the sun with my head. "Good morning, Sleeping Beauty."
"What time is it?" she whispered hoarsely, her voice breaking through a period of stagnancy.
I glanced over at the clock. "About ten or so."
Isabella groaned as she pushed herself into a seated position. "Does your head hurt as much as mine does?"
"Mmm-hmm," I replied. I moved to try and tame the matted chocolate curls that were out of control atop Isabella's head. "Your hair is a mess."
"Why'd we stay out that late?"
"Because it was fun."
Isabella smiled, remembering the night before. "Yeah, it was fun," she licked her thumb and ran it over the corner of my mouth, clearing whatever was on my face. "You don't look too grand yourself."
"Go back to your apartments and get cleaned up. Joseph's already been up for a few hours now. I'll meet you downstairs."
Lethargically, Isabella stood and returned to her apartments. I took a look at myself in the mirror, and was just a bit repulsed at the reflection that looked back at me. This was going to take a while.
I ran myself over with a wet washcloth to freshen up my skin, and applied some scented oils to my hair. I pinned my hair up away from my neck and secured it with a lacy cap; I wasn't in the mood for pretty hairstyles. Though the temperature outside was about average for mid-March, though with the strange heat that I was feeling, I put on a white dress screen-printed with images of blue florals and birds.
I went downstairs to the drawing room, where Isabella was already seated on the floor with Antonia and Carolina. "What are you ladies up to?"
The three of them turned around, beaming smiles spreading across their faces. I could see dolls and other toys around a low children's tables. Even one of Ferdinand's toy soldiers had a place. "A tea party!"
"I don't see any tea," I replied jokingly. "What's a tea party without tea?"
Isabella rolled her eyes, a smile appearing behind the annoyance. "It's coming."
"See, Mimi?" chirped out Antonia, pointing her finger at each toy. Honeypot the Bear and Miss Kitty and even General Longbottom are here for tea!"
Carolina began to snicker. "Longbottom!"
Antonia cupped her hands around her mouth and lowered her voice to a whisper. "General Longbottom doesn't like fun. So him coming to have tea is a surprise."
Isabella and I made eye contact, Isabella raising her eyebrows. Then the servants came in, carrying everything one needed for a tea party: cups, a pot, sugar cubes in a dish, a cream pitcher, saucers, both straining and spoons, small plates, and a few delicate pastries. The set itself was of a rather simple design; crisp white porcelain was decorated with golden rims and the double-headed eagle of the Holy Roman Empire.
"Antonia, Carolina, what do you say?"
"Thank you!" The servants couldn't help but smile at the innocence of these bright young girls.
Isabella and I began to set up the tea. Antonia had previously reached to pour her cup herself, but at the sight of the steam rising from the open pot she immediately changed her mind. She instead reached for a delicate cake with pale pink frosting.
Footsteps came down the hallway, and soon two figures emerged, peeking around the doorway. "Sorry to interrupt," said a thickly French-accented voice that I recognized as the Dauphin, "But the Empress has dismissed us to your company, fleur. Do you mind if we join you?"
Isabella's face lit up. "Not at all. Girls, this is my uncle Louis the Dauphin of France, and his wife Dauphine Josephine. These are my sisters-in-law, Maria Carolina and Maria Antonia. Maria Christina, I hope, needs no introduction." Isabella looked to me with a faint smile.
"Of course we remember," said the Dauphin, kneeling on the floor between Isabella and his wife. Now that I looked at them side by side, the wide, dark eyes that Isabella possessed must have been a trait from the French side of the family. Isabella and the Dauphin both possessed them.
The Dauphine kept a close eye on Antonia, quietly watching the girl and all that she did. There was a warmth to her face, but she examined the youngest archduchess with much care. As Antonia propped up a slipping doll, the Dauphine whispered to me, "Does she speak French?"
"Not yet," was my simple reply. Antonia had never been the most keen to her education and most likely never would be; I decided to omit that from the Dauphine.
Isabella pulled aside the box that contained the tea and began to read the label. "What kind of tea is this? It's delicious. Chinese! Remind me to have some of this ordered personally."
"Antonia," said the Dauphine so gently that I barely heard her. Antonia glanced up from her slice of cake, popping the decorative raspberry in her mouth. "What do you know about China?"
"They grow tea there and make silk. And they have an emperor, like Mama. But he's a boy. Mama's a girl."
The Dauphine looked to her husband with a subtle raise of the brows. "You're quite right, my dear."
"Emperor Qianlong, to be exact. He's been ruling since 1733, I believe," Isabella stated nonchalantly.
The Dauphin looked over to his niece. "Studying civics, Belle?"
"Oh, yes," replied Isabella with a smile, "As the wife of a future sovereign I thought it was appropriate. Go ahead, Uncle. Quiz me. Give me a country."
"France."
Isabella chuckled. "Louis XV."
"Portugal."
"Joseph I."
"Uhh... Ethiopia."
"Ioyas."
"The Ottoman Empire!"
"Mustafa III."
"Denmark!"
"Frederick V."
"God! Russia!"
"Elizaveta Petrovna."
The Dauphin put his hands up in surrender. "Fine. You win."
Isabella smiled with pride as she took a sip of her tea. "You need to hit the books, Uncle."
"I guess I do," admitted the Dauphin.
There was a sound of footsteps coming down the hall. Madame von Brandeis emerged, seemingly in a hurry. "Girls, what did I tell you about- oh!" She immediately dropped into a curtsy. "Your Royal Highnesses."
"The governess of the Imperial children, Madame Naomi Fitzhalter, Countess von Brandeis," Isabella addressed.
The Dauphin and Dauphine nodded in acknowledgement, and Madame von Brandeis curtsied again. "I'm dreadfully sorry to interrupt, but my charges must return to their studies. Come now, girls."
"Awww!" whined Carolina. "Do we have to? We were having fun!"
"I'm afraid so. Your dance teacher is waiting. Come."
Reluctantly, the girls stood from their places and moped over to their governess. "Oh, Madame," said the Dauphine. Madame von Brandeis turned back around. "I must have a quick word with you. The Empress requested it."
"Of course."
When the girls and their governess were gone, I inquired, "Antonia?"
"The Empress improves of the match whole-heartedly," said the Dauphine, "for either one of our sons. It would help cement the treaty that also rests on your brother's marriage to Isabella. My only concern is her studies. She's a bright girl, I can see that. But she must get her nose into more books while she is still young and manageable. That is my only request."
Isabella sighed. "How I dread the day that I will have to make these decisions."
The Dauphin smiled warmly at his niece. "Your mother thought the same. How you remind me of her."
"She rests easily?" Isabella implored, a kind of delicate sadness taking over her face.
"In the basilica, next to her twin sister. As peaceful as she could be. Your father and your younger siblings paid her a visit."
Isabella took a sip of her tea, as is she attempted to wash away words unspoken. "How are they?"
"Well. Very sweet children. Your grandfather swung Ferdinando into his lap as soon as he could. And your father has a new woman in his life."
Isabella's voice drew quiet, breaking as a single word fell from her lips. "What?" She stuttered as she spoke. "It- it hasn't even been two years."
"That was my exact thought, fleur. She's some actress from Guastalla. She won't last long."
"If you can, tell my father to write me a letter. It's been silence from him since I left Parma."
"I'll try my best. But until then, I must talk to the governess. We'll talk privately tonight, fleur."
"Thank you, Uncle."
As soon as they had left, Isabella let out a sigh. I began to stack up the dirty dishes and put the girls' toys away. "Everything alright?"
"Do you think they know?" Isabella admitted, standing and brushing pastry crumbs from her skirt.
Somehow my memory fled from me. "Know about what?"
"About us," Isabella admitted, her voice tinged with a kind of heart-tearing melancholy. "If word gets out back in France, rumors can spread like wildfire."
"But it won't be a rumor," I said, laying a hand on her shoulder. "I do love you."
"They'll call me an adulteress. Which technically I am, but not with lust. And without context, those at Versailles won't understand."
"I'd be your mistress if it meant that I could still be with you."
Isabella glanced over to me with the sweetest look I had ever seen in her overtaking her entire face. "Oh, Christina. Your optimism is one of your best qualities."
"They may not know the full extent of us," I said, taking Isabella's hand in my own. "And I don't care what they think. And even if they don't know, soon they will feel it. You and I, Isabella- our love is a love that could shake the earth."
"They'll fear us. They'll shun us. They won't understand."
"People still fear earthquakes, don't they? And yet there is nothing that can be done to prevent them."
Everything happened too fast. The love came too fast. The family relations, the politics, the policy of it all. Rotten apples were plated with gold and devils wore crowns. And by God, the shoulders that held the robes of state were difficult to keep straight- in both senses of the term.
End of Je T'aime. Chapter 34. Continue reading Chapter 35 or return to Je T'aime. book page.