Je T'aime. - Chapter 38: Chapter 38

"April showers bring May flowers, I suppose," Isabella said as we both looked out of the window together at the downpour that was currently filling the courtyard with puddles.
"Yeah, but now everyone's stuck inside," I complained. "We've been stuck inside since November. It's such a shame that you moved to a cloudy, rainy city. Northern Italy sounds so wonderful this time of year."
"Oh, it always was. But would you rather me move to England, where it's like this in July?"
"No, no. They're Protestants, and I'm convinced that's worse."
Isabella laughed "But have patience with the weather. Spring will come," Isabella said. She rested her chin on my shoulder and began to toy with the fabric on my sleeve. "You're birthday's in May. That's not too far away now, no?"
I couldn't help but smile. "You and the birthdays. I don't need a big bonanza, alright? I don't think I need too much of a present, either."
"Oh, but that's all the fun!" Isabella laughed. "You gave me a handmade portrait. You know you're getting a gift from me."
"Well, what it?"
"That's a secret," Isabella said with a smile.
"You don't know yet, do you?"
Isabella laughed. "No, not yet. But I'll come up with something. You know that I will."
"The thing about my birthday is that it's my mother's, too," I replied. "The focus will be on her. You know, being the Empress and all of that."
"Aw. I'll focus on you. How's that?" Isabella whispered into my ear as she traced circles onto my shoulder. "Just you and I, wouldn't that be sweet?"
"I'd like that," I pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. "It's hard to be alone in this court, both physically and emotionally."
Starving for something to do on this rainy afternoon, Isabella and I ventured out into the hallway. We passed the sparkling white marble and brilliant chandeliers, pausing to gaze at a nearly floor to ceiling painting on the wall in a baroque golden frame. It was a battle scene, with the figures in the foreground being nearly full-sized, including horses. It showed the Battle of Vienna, which took place less than a century prior. It showed the mountaintop cavalry charge that saved Vienna from invasion by the Ottomans. It was a grand peice, remembering the time when the world's grandest empires clashed.
Then from down the hallway came the pattering of feet. Following them were giggles, echoing against the ceiling. The two little archduchesses came to a sliding halt. Carolina and Antonia looked like the pinnacle of childhood bliss. Their smiles were wide, and their hair fell out in places. They wore awkwardly fitting play dresses which couldn't be mended faster than they grew. Around their waists were linen aprons, and they held their skirts up almost to the knee. Oh, if only to be a carefree child again.
"Hi, girls!" Isabella said, sweeping Antonia into a hug.
Carolina came to me, swishing her skirts dramatically. "Mimi, I'm bored," she complained.
"Nice to meet you, bored," I said, holding out my hand for a shake. "I'm Mimi."
Carolina sighed irritatedly, but a smile was coming through. Antonia giggled.
Isabella added, "So are we."
Antonia gasped. She looked to Isabella with a wide, shimmering beam. "Izzy, can you and Mimi play with us? Pretty please?" Antonia looked to Isabella with wide, beckoning eyes.
"Aw!" Isabella cooed, "How could I not? Come on, Mimi."
The girls looked to each other. "Yay!"
At the end of the hall was the children's nursery and playroom. The floor of the playroom was coated with scattered toys, almost so many that it was a hazard. "So, what do we play?"
Antonia and Carolina looked to each other. Antonia shrugged, then began searching for a toy on the floor. Struck with inspiration, Carolina untied her apron from around her waist. "Wedding!" she cried out.
Antonia and Carolina squealed excitedly. "Izzy!" Antonia took Isabella's hand, pulling her to kneel on the floor. "You be the bride."
Carolina tied her apron around Isabella's head, turning it into a makeshift veil. "I'm already married, honey. To your big brother."
"It's alright," said Antonia, picking up a toy sword and sheath that lay discarded on the floor. "It's just pretend. Mimi is the groom." She placed the sheath around my hips, the weapon making me a prince.
Antonia took off Isabella's wedding ring, a gold band decorated with a beautiful sapphire, and placed it on a pillow. Carolina opened a random book, serving as the officiant. "Start at the end of the room, Izzy!"
Isabella walked the imaginary aisle, a gentle smile appearing across her face. She was as beautiful as she was at her first wedding, maybe even more so without that gravely fear she possessed when I first met her. "Isn't she gorgeous?" came from my lips as a whisper.
Carolina wiped a pretend tear from her face. "They grow up so fast."
Isabella came to stand before me, and I took her hands in mine. Our eyes locked, her chocolate irises glittering with the gray, rainy sunlight. She was my bride, finally. Carolina broke the moment with a cheered "Wedding time!" Isabella and I stifled back laughter. "Do you, uh-" she leaned to whisper, "Izzy, what's your full name?"
"Isabella Maria Luisa Antonietta Ferdinanda Giuseppina Giuseppa Saveria Dominica Giovanna, Princess of Parma."
"Oh, yes. That's long. Do you, Isabella, take- Mimi?"
"Maria Christina Johanna Josepha Antonia, Archduchess of Austria."
"Take Christina to be your husband?"
Isabella looked to me sweetly. "I do."
"Christina, do you take Isabella to be your wife?"
"I do!"
Antonia cheered, "Yay, married!"
"Not yet!" Carolina snapped. "The ring!"
"Oh, yeah. Right." Antonia handed me the ring, and I slipped it onto Isabella's finger as the girls cheered.
Isabella leaned in and whispered, "I don't think this is legal."
I pressed a light kiss to her cheekbone and whispered back, "Shh. We'll take what we can."
There were footsteps approaching up the hall. Like an instant reflex, Isabella ripped the veil off of her head and let it fall to the ground. She tried to pull her hands out of mine. Puzzled, I didn't let go.
"Hello, ladies," the voice was Joseph's, standing in the doorway. When he saw Isabella and I, he raised an eyebrow. I instantly felt my face flush.
The girls ran up to him. "Joey, we're playing wedding! Do you want to join? You can marry Izzy!"
Joseph laughed. "We're already married, I'm afraid. And Carolina, Herr Gluck is waiting for your harpsichord lesson. That's why I came down here."
Carolina slumped her shoulders. "Aw, not fair."
Joseph held out his hand for Carolina to take. "I know. Come on. I'll see you two at supper, no?"
"Of course," Isabella said. As soon as he was gone, Isabella rested a hand on my shoulder. She gave me a knowing look before exiting the room, following her husband into the hall. The clicking of her heels against the floor slowly faded until it was gone. I took off the toy sword and threw it to the floor, just where it began.
In order to take my mind off of the day, after supper I took to reading in the drawing room. Though, I could not seem to keep my mind focused on the subject that was written across the pages. Within a paragraph or so I would lose my thought, and would be forced to start the page all over again.
I was just about to give up reading entirely when I heard the door to the drawing room creak open. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure, and soon the sound of footsteps came to match. A shape of navy blue passed me as Joseph came and sat on the sofa near me. "Good evening," he stated.
"Hi," I replied, licking my fingers in order to turn the page.
Joseph crossed his legs and leaned back into the sofa, crossing his arms over his chest. "Word travels fast, you know. I've heard some words at this court."
"Oh," I said, trying to brush off my brother's comment. "You know that court drama is a whole load of dung."
"I don't know," said Joseph. "You know, they've been calling you Orpheus."
My heart dropped in my chest, but I tried to keep my wits about me. "That was my masquerade costume."
Joseph continued, "And they call Isabella Eurydice. They say that you pull her from melancholic states."
"I am her comfort in a new and unfamiliar place. She and I are close friends. I'm very happy to be there for her," I tried to explain.
Joseph sighed. "Dear, dear sister..." I felt myself tense. He never called me that if he wasn't cross. "I feel, as do many others, that you are far too close to my wife."
"What?" was all that could fall from my mouth.
"I have reason to believe that you are Eden's serpent," Joseph's tone raised, and he was on the edge of a shout. "And that you manipulate my wife into adultery."
My voice came to match Joseph's tone. I stood harshly from my seat, my book crashing to the floor. "How dare you accuse me of such a thing! I care for her, I would never harm her!"
"Father Lachner says you haven't been to Mass. Do you hide your guilt, Christina?"
"My sins are between myself and God!"
"So you admit it! You are an adultress, and what, a homosexual? Homosexuals are hanged in this country."
I could feel both the sad tinge of betrayal and the anger of accusations building up within me. "I am happily engaged and you know that."
"A soldier's wife is as good as a single woman. What is he going to do while he is off fighting the Prussians? You could do whatever you damn please. As an active husband, it is my duty to protect my wife from harm!"
We were in a screaming match now, our mannerism so similar that it was infuriating. "What harm is our companionship? What harm is happiness?"
Joseph took a heavy sigh. "I deny you to see her alone. You must be accompanied and supervised when you interact with Isabella, from here until further notice."
My heart felt as if a dagger had just been shoved into it. Tears were clouding my eyes.  "You deny your wife her only comfort! You deny her any peace! You horrible, horrible man!"
"I'm doing what is best, and you will heed me!" Joseph grabbed my arm. "Do you hear me?"
"Don't touch me, damn you!" I broke free of his grasp. "Have you told Isabella of this? If you lay even a finger on her, I swear-"
"I wouldn't dream of it."
"I highly doubt that. You're a monster."
"You'll look back on this and thank me," Joseph said, "and you're lucky I don't tell Mother."
"Mother? When did you stop calling her Mama?"
"When I grew up, Christina. Maybe you should try it."
The look on my brother's face was so different than any I had seen before. It was like he was a different man. My voice grew soft, almost a whisper, and delicately full of care. "What happened to you, Joey?"
Joseph dropped his voice now, as if a candle was snuffed within him. "I only do it because I love you. Have a good night." He turned to leave, reaching for the door.
I called out after him, reaching to grab onto his sleeve like I did when I was just a toddling child. "Joseph!" He opened the door. "Joey!" Joseph turned his head over his shoulder, and I could see the tears coming down his face. He slammed the door closed behind him, directly in my face.
All of the knowledge seemed to hit me at once, and I fell onto my knees, collapsing into a puddle of tears on the floor.