『JenSoo Short Stories』 - Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Jennie has just turned 21 and is rather disappointed to find out that she doesn't have a name tattooed on her wrist.
"I am born to be alone, isn't it?"
She laughs in pity. What a wretched fate. She loves the romance genre. She often fantasises scenes of falling in love with someone and she has also been single all these years to experience her first love with her fated person. What a joke it must have been to find out that she would be alone on her 21st birthday.
She heads off to a bar, hoping to drown her sorrow away.
"Give me the strongest alcohol you've got," says Jennie, as she approaches the bartender. She wants something strong to reset the system in her head. She doesn't care about the consequences. She only wants a temporary fix.
"One coming right up, Miss."
Upon hearing the reply, she decides that having a couple of shots would be better. Not that she is experienced with the drinking culture but watching American films while growing up does help her have some general knowledge.
"Wait, give me shots of the strongest alcohol."
Soon, the shots of this supposed strongest unknown alcohol are in front of her. She is tempted to drink it despite her prefrontal cortex telling her that she would regret it.
She is clearly reckless as she ignores the reasoning brain and takes one, chugging the shot as quickly as she can. She has never tasted alcohol before but she is expecting the bitterness and the awful taste of it on her tongue. Ironically, she finds it sweet. It has indeed helped her to feel better amidst the cold hard truth on her 21st birthday.
She takes another one and drinks it. Soon, it becomes really addictive and she is currently on her third shot, ready to chug it down. Before that, she feels her head starting to get fuzzy. She chuckles, loving the feeling of alcohol in her system. She quickly drinks it, hoping to feel that rush of high after every shot.
"Hey Beautiful, why are you drinking alone?"
Jennie thinks that she is hallucinating. Did someone just call her beautiful? She thinks that love has come knocking her door but wait, she remembers that she won't have a lover in this lifetime. She continues to take another shot from the tray but a hand stops her. She turns and traces the arm to the owner next to her.
She faces a beautiful woman in a dark blue denim jacket top and a high-rise plaid skirt. Her heart thumps. Never before has she felt like this.
Is fate playing a fool on her? How can God present someone so beautiful on the worst day of her life? She ignores the other and takes the cup with her other hand and chugs it down, feeling the sting down .
"Not much of a talker, eh?" the woman comments as Jennie continues to ignore her. The mysterious woman then turns to the bartender and says, "1 Shirley Temple please."
To Jennie's horror, that beautiful yet mysterious stranger takes the last 2 shots from her and drinks it quickly.
"What are you doing?" Jennie manages to utter these words clearly and firmly despite the massive fog that is clouding her brain. She continues to glare at that the beautiful woman and instead of being mad, she is drawn towards the pretty face.
"1 Shirley Temple for you," says the bartender. As he is about to place it in front of the mysterious person, the latter points the drink towards Jennie's direction. Soon, the drink is in front of her and the woman speaks, "you are having this instead. You look almost too drunk with 4 shots."
Despite chugging down 2 shots, the woman is clearly still sober. Eyes that are still as clear as day and the smile still as charming as ever, drawing her in, which is a stark contrast as compared to her. Jennie believes that she is a total mess right now. She is starting to feel self-conscious despite not caring about her image a while ago. The novice of the two feels that the other is mocking her but decides to drink that pink drink in front of her in one shot, not realising that it isn't alcoholic.
After what feels like a long silence, the pretty face speaks, " so, what makes you drink here, at 1 am?"
Soon, Jennie hears the song playing in the background.
We are born to be alone
She points towards the blaring speaker, laughing cynically after she articulates each word with raging anger, "even God is mocking me now with the music. He is reminding me of my fate."
"You are not alone. I turned 21 last year and guess what, no mark."
The stranger shows her right wrist has been covered with a thick bracelet. Indeed there isn't any tattoo on it.
Jennie doesn't believe her ears. How can God be so cruel to someone so beautiful?
"I guess we are born to be alone but why not take this chance and test fate?" The woman teases as she whispers with her low husky voice and trails kisses down Jennie's neck, with hands slipping under her crop top, feeling her flushed tan skin from the close proximity with the beauty.
Jennie's ears perk up at the offer and says, "let's go."
Alcohol has indeed clouded her judgement.
Jennie wakes up and her head feels heavy. She promises to never drink again. Maybe with all the alcohol cleared from her system, she concludes that whatever she did last night was a huge mistake. She thinks really hard but the only thing she remembers was drinking the tiny shots and everything was history. She then turns her head and is surprised to see someone next to her. She freaks out internally but the ethereal beauty of the person next to her somewhat manages to calm her down.
"Gosh, a one night stand on my 21st birthday but she's pretty," Jennie whispers as she stares that the pretty face and soon, she remembers something about last night. She realises that it was her who accepted the "invitation". Feeling embarrassed with her own decision as a result of alcohol, she panics and a wave of regret hits her until a pair of lean but toned arms wraps around her waist, drawing her into a warm embrace.
"Good morning, Beautiful."
Surprisingly for her, the person's low husky voice sounds like honey and she likes it. She likes how the person next to her smells too.
"Good morning, erm..." that is all Jennie could utter, seemingly embarrassed to not knowing or remembering the person's name after their intimate night.
The person next to her just chuckles but still, she tries to convey her disappointment and responds, "can't believe that you didn't remember what happened last night but you were amazing. Jisoo is my name and remember it, you will need it later."
Jisoo throws a wink at Jennie and never has the latter thought that her one-night stand has become her significant other almost overnight.
Jisoo wakes up to a pair of hazel brown eyes staring at her. To be honest, the person next to her is just one of her usual fling and she would usually just leave after a night of fun. However, she doesn't know why she would stay for the person next to her. Instead of leaving, she initiates a conversation and even teases the other. She is definitely going above and beyond her usual ways. Something about the other draws her attention towards the tan beauty. Maybe because the other is an innocent girl and she just wants to ruin the other slowly and torturously, rather than leaving the other heartbroken and confused after their one nightstand.
"Come on, go and wash up, let's go out for breakfast. But first, let me borrow some clothes," says Jisoo, as she faces the other after getting out of bed and flashes her killer smile.
Though Jennie is glad that isn't defined by her fate, she finds that her relationship with Jisoo isn't like the ones from her favourite movies. Something feels off but still, she knows that she loves Jisoo with all her heart.
She comes to know that Jisoo is an aspiring model. Since Jennie is a photographer, she decides to help the other take some pictures to clinch a few potential endorsements. Not that she is new to the industry and just because she isn't some famous photographer or hasn't worked with really famous people, she is sure that she is more than qualified for the job. However, even though Jisoo usually agrees with having her as the photographer, the model would end up being unsatisfied with the end product and has talked down to her countless of times.
This is just one of the days where they would end their workday on the wrong note.
"What is with these pictures. They make me look weird."
With that, they decided to continue taking countless pictures even after work hours. Jisoo is still unsatisfied as she frowns while monitoring the pictures from the screen.
"None of the pictures are good. Just choose a few for me to send out to the company. I will probably make do with these poor quality pictures."
Every time these words rolled off the raven head's tongue did make Jennie question herself and devalue herself in the process but still, she would do anything for the other, just to make the other happy.
Instead of heading home together, Jisoo walks off, with an excuse of having an appointment with one of her "friends". By now, Jennie knows that it is probably one of her side chicks. Since they have been together for a while, Jennie has come to realise that Jisoo would occasionally disappear with the excuse of finding her friends. But after tailing the other one day, she realised that Jisoo isn't as faithful as she seems to be.
Jennie was mad but she didn't have the rights to confront the other since they are technically not bound by fate. Jisoo has the rights to play around. Nonetheless, she is glad that Jisoo would still come back to her side.
Jisoo likes the girl alright but she doesn't know why she would use words to hurt the other. She did question herself but maybe, she is doing all this to protect herself. Even though she yearns for love even with the cursed fate, she is afraid of giving her heart to someone else. She had witnessed a fair share of unhappy outcomes from people who are fated to be together, what more for those that are not fated? They would probably end up even worse. She will never dare give her heart out to someone.
"Yah, what is this?" Jisoo flares up at the poor girl after waiting for the girl to set up the studio for her photoshoot. She knows that she should help the other but she doesn't want to. It is Jennie's job anyway.
"Hurry up! I got somewhere to be later," says Jisoo, as she walks out of the rental studio and heads to the back alley, searching for some hot chicks online to meet.
But still, whenever she senses Jennie being so closeted towards her, she would shower the other with love, to make up for what she did. Sometimes, she tries to overdo it and ends up thinking that pleasuring the other is the only way, not knowing that Jennie just wants her to be a little more faithful and just be by her side.
Sometimes, when she knows that she is falling too hard for Jennie, she would distract herself by playing around with others. Still, she prefers Jennie. She would even think of Jennie while being with someone else. She wished that she would at least be a little more open.
But still, after a night of "fun", she would still crawl back to Jennie's side and make up to the other through her little gestures. She feels apologetic to the other for blowing hot and cold. Jisoo acknowledges that she has a problem. She is broken inside but she just doesn't want to face it upfront. She also knows too well that Jennie loves her too much to ever let her go.
What if Jisoo is wrong?
After another night with a casual fling, Jisoo returns back to Jennie's apartment and hops in the shower before lying on the bed next to Jennie, wrapping her arms around the other, pulling the supposed sleeping girl close to her. She inhales Jennie's scent, missing the Sicilian orange scent that she comes to love and peppers light kisses on the bare back and shoulders that are revealed from the brunette wearing a sleeveless top.
Truth to be told, Jennie has been awake all night, not to wait for the other but she has been lost in her thought. It has been too much for her to bear. She gets hurt and breaks down every time. She doesn't know what's keeping her to hold onto their seemingly fragile love. Knowing that she will be hurt over and over, still, she doesn't leave because she will probably hate Jisoo in her pained state. She can't and she doesn't want to hate Jisoo.
It's as if they have been waiting for this agony. As Jisoo finally returns to her and starts to pepper kisses on her back, she melts under the sweet loving gesture but she knows that she has to be strong and not crumble. It's either Jisoo commits to her or not.
This is it. She confronts the other. Jennie starts to speak with her back still facing the other.
"Why do you always do this to me? At one moment, you are so sweet and another, inflicting pain in me emotionally and physically? I thought you believed in love?"
Jisoo stops her ministrations and hands fall limb to her sides. As each word spills out she can't hear what Jennie says. It is as though her mind has blocked out everything and she is consumed in her own thoughts, trying to find reasons to make herself feel better. Maybe because of her cursed fate of not having a tattoo on her wrist. That might have caused her to hate love and want to destroy anyone that comes in her path. It may be why she plays around so often and would hurt Jennie even when she doesn't mean to. She further reasons to herself that she is happy with the pain that her victims are in.
Sensing the awkward silence and atmosphere starting to form, Jennie turns around and she averts her gaze to Jisoo's torso while biting her lips, unsure of what to do.
Not wanting to lose in this "fight", Jisoo spat those harsh words towards the younger as she grips onto Jennie's jaw tightly, pulling the younger towards her.
"You really think that I do believe in love? Silly you, believing in love when God has clearly denied you of a lover."
On the other hand, Jennie is looking at her with an anxious gaze, worried that this is the time that Jisoo would leave her before their love even ends. She is trying to convey to Jisoo with her eyes amidst that intense grip. It was too painful for her that she couldn't utter anything out.
"Please, you are all I need even if it hurts."
Jisoo hates that look that the other is giving her. She thinks that Jennie is pitying her and feels that she is mocked for not going against fate.
"You pity me? But I pity you more for pitying me."
She harshly releases her grip on the younger, pushing the other and as a result of the huge force, Jennie landed on the ground with a loud thud. The older takes all her belongings and leave the younger's apartment, not sparing any glance.
After that fateful night, she hasn't been able to contact Jisoo. It is as though the other has disappeared completely from her life. She should be glad. Glad that she is free from all the pain. Happy that she is finally free, but why does it seem as though there is an empty spot in her heart?
Jisoo isn't on her list anyways. They just happen to cross path because of their cursed fate. Maybe, Jisoo is right, why foolishly believe in love? Love is a drug and she decides to quit having it, furthermore, no doctor could help when she is lovesick. Maybe, she is better left alone, to wallow in self-pity and anguish.
Despite all the pain and the suffering she felt from that night, she has become numb to crying after getting hurt over and over again. She realises that she is nothing without the pain. No matter what the older did to her, she would still think back of the good things that the older did for her.
- Flashback -
"You like it? Go and get it," says Jisoo, as she stopped in front of the shop looking at the beautiful necklace from the display window, on a fine afternoon, after a photo shoot.
"It's alright, let's just go home. You don't really like shopping anyways," replied Jennie. Clearly lying as she still stared at the necklace but on the other hand, didn't want Jisoo to spend too much on her.
Instead of replying, Jisoo holds onto her hand even tighter and pull her along as they walked into the shop. Jisoo went to the salesperson and asked for the necklace outside. While the salesperson went off to get the specific necklace, Jennie was tugging onto Jisoo's sleeve, telling the other that they should go.
"Here you go, Miss. You have a great eye, this is the latest collection by Chanel," said the salesperson as she passed the necklace to raven head. The raven head took it and nudged the younger to sit while she put the necklace on for the brunette.
"You look really beautiful with that necklace," the older whispered into her ear before turning to the salesperson, "wrap this up for me."
She proceeded to pay for it before passing it to Jennie.
"I shouldn't accept it. It is too expensive."
"It's worth it. A beautiful necklace for a beautiful lady."
"But..."
"If you want, you can make it up to me in other ways," said Jisoo as she gave a coy smile. Jennie knew that it will be a long night for her.
That fearless thrill returns once the pain subsides. After that night, Jisoo goes off, as usual, seeking comfort from some random stranger but no one can fill the empty void. She ends up kicking the random chick out of her place and stares out of her balcony. It has been ages since she is in her apartment after spending countless nights at Jennie's. She takes out a bottle of beer from the mini chiller next to her and drinks it. While drinking, she replies the scene with Jennie earlier that night. That look that the other gave really hit her heart. It was the same look that her mother gave her before she left home, to be away from her father.
"Jisoo, don't go. You do know that Appa cares about you," begs her mother, trying to protect her husband and putting all her bet onto this last chance of holding the family together. Partly, the older Kim wanted her daughter to stay. She has no will to live with someone who doesn't love her anymore without her only child by her side.
"Don't make me laugh, Omma. You know how well he treats us. He doesn't have his priorities straight. You are practically the one that is holding this household together. I am already 21. Let me go. I swear that I will never step into this house again unless he is gone."
Jisoo leaves the house, slamming the door shut. Maybe it was due to her family background and the sick revelation on her 21st birthday had made her not believe in love. However, after meeting Jennie, she realised that she has changed. She actually cares for the other but would always shoot derogatory remarks and doing things that make Jennie uncomfortable just to deny the fluttering feelings in her heart.
"Kim Jennie, if you only knew what effect you had on me."
She chugs down the entire bottle while staring out of her balcony, gazing aimlessly over the skyline. Though it was the worst day of her life, she realises that she believes in love and maybe give it a chance.
It has been months since Jennie isn't by her side. Jisoo did feel the pain of losing someone. To be honest, despite whatever she has done to the poor girl, she has come to realise that she loves the other wholeheartedly. As usual, she knows that she is fated to be alone, but this time, a little more accepting of the fact. Since that fateful night, she swears to change for the better and indeed has changed. She no longer frequents to bars just so to prey on innocent girls and even sleeping around with people. She puts her heart and soul into working very hard to be a well-known model in the modelling industry. It was tough initially but she knows that she will make it through.
Even though she has changed, she decides that today will be the day that she gets out of her new routine, just one day. Something inside her is telling her to go to the bar that she first met Jennie. She follows her instincts and heads off to the bar. Lo and behold, she sees a familiar back. She signals to the bartender for her usual drink. As she reaches the bar top, she takes her drink and walks towards the other. With each step, her heart thumps loudly but she tries to recompose herself and after what feels like 10 long strides, she stands in front of the person that she misses.
"Hey beautiful, why are you here alone?"
Jennie hears a familiar voice, the honey-laced voice that she once loved. She turns and faces someone that she hasn't seen for months. She misses Jisoo so much despite the pain that the raven head had inflicted on her. Her heart starts to beat rapidly.
She still loves Jisoo. Months without her was more like living in hell. It was worse than life with Jisoo's constant manipulation. She hears the music playing at the background. It was the same song she heard on her 21st birthday.
But we were born to be alone
Yeah we were born to be alone
Yeah we were born to be alone
But why we still looking for love
Jisoo is standing in front of her. She doesn't care anymore, she will do it over and over. She just needs Jisoo in her life. She points to the blaring speaker behind her and says, "I am still looking for love."
Jisoo smiles genuinely for the first time, as if showing her feelings for the younger, "I am too, shall we bring this to my place?"
The brunette nods and the two of them heads off to Jisoo's place instead, repeating the event on Jennie's 21st birthday. This time, both sober and both loving each other with all of their hearts.
Jennie looks forward to the night and she thinks to herself, "it will be an endless night since love has trapped us in a windowless room."
Jisoo comes to realise that what is important in right in front of her. She doesn't need some sort of fate or her ugly family history to intervene it. This thought flashes through her mind, "maybe it's all just a moment, what are we looking for so aimlessly?"
What can they say? They are the lovesick girls.
Born to be alone but they're still looking for love.