Jonah Clarke Is Not Gay - Chapter 5: Chapter 5
You are reading Jonah Clarke Is Not Gay, Chapter 5: Chapter 5. Read more chapters of Jonah Clarke Is Not Gay.
Daniel wakes up to a text from Jonah.
From: Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke
Morning Sunshine :) I can't believe you feel asleep on me last night, I thought my conversation was scintillating
To: Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke
What have I told you about using long words so early in the morning?
From: Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke
Stop telling me how to live my life Daniel!!!!!!!!!!! :p
Daniel shakes his head before slowly dragging himself out of bed, it's difficult because his bed is warm and the rest of his room is not but somehow Daniel manages it.
"Morning," Daniel's mother says as he steps out onto the corridor.
Daniel will never stop being surprised by how awake his mother seems on Monday mornings, it's as if she's learnt some special trick that means she is always strangely awake. Daniel almost wishes he had that superpower too, getting out of bed has to be the worst part of his day without a doubt.
Luckily Daniel manages to get ready to go to school without falling asleep and even the gentle rocking of the bus does not manage to lure Daniel into unconsciousness.
Isaac grabs Daniel's arm as soon as he gets off the bus.
"You have some explaining to do," he says simply, "because what the hell is going on between you and Jonah Clarke?"
"We're friends."
"And when did that happen?"
"Last Thursday," Jonah replies, "you know, when I asked him out and he said no."
"I told you he wasn't gay."
"Seriously Isaac, you're doing the whole 'I told you so' thing, not cool."
"Sorry bro," Isaac says and Daniel is weirded out, because Isaac has never uttered the word 'bro' before in his entire life, "I'm just looking out for you, don't want you to get hurt again."
Isaac is one of the few people that Daniel has entrusted with the information about Charlie Martin. It only seemed fair considering Isaac was the only person who let Daniel sit him with at lunch, was the only person who pointed him in the right direction for class and so in return Daniel became Isaac's best friend and shared his biggest secret. To be honest Daniel feels as if Isaac got a very good deal out of it.
"I get it, and it's fine, I'm over him."
"You move on fast," Isaac comments, "I'd call you a player but I don't think you count as one seen as though you never actually get with anyone."
Daniel doesn't reply instead he leans over and shoves Isaac to the side with his shoulder.
"What was that for?" Isaac shouts.
Increasing his pace, Daniel looks back over his shoulder to see how mad Isaac looks and is greeted by the sight of Isaac running and pushing past people to try to catch up to him.
"I hate you," Isaac says pushing Daniel lightly.
"But I'm still your best friend right?"
"Unfortunately."
"You know I love you too Isaac," Daniel teases, "and I can tell that you enjoy my company too much."
"Whatever," Isaac replies, "just as long as Jonah isn't replacing me."
"He would never."
"Not even if he went gay for you?"
"People don't just go gay Isaac."
"I know that," Isaac sighs, "but like if it turned out all the flings were just beards and he was actually mega horny for you?"
"Isaac!"
"Just answer the damn question Dan."
"Then you'd still be my best friend," Daniel tells Isaac honestly, "Jonah would just be my hot piece of arse on the side."
"You're so lucky he isn't listening to this conversation right now."
"Isaac, it's Jonah Clarke, I'm surprised that's not his twitter handle."
"Either that or @sexybeast69," Isaac suggests.
"So you think Jonah Clarke is sexy then?" Daniel asks teasingly.
"I may be straight," Isaac says, "but I can appreciate a good looking guy when I see one or a hot piece of arse as you say."
"And that's why I'm friends with you."
"Because I'm open minded and not a homophobe?"
"No, because you can help me pick out hot guys without being competition."
"Seriously? Is that the only reason you're friends with me?"
"Nah," Daniel says, "I'm friends with you for the unlimited supply of chocolate you seem to have as well."
"I feel so loved right now."
"As you should."
Ten minutes later and the pair of them are sat in their form room waiting for registration to start.
"So is Jonah going to chill with us at lunch?" Isaac asks.
Daniel hasn't really thought about this. At the moment it seems as if Isaac and Jonah are involved in two completely separate parts of his lives but they're both his friends, and he loves spending time with them both so it only seems logical that they should meet properly.
"I'll text him and see."
To: Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke
Do you wanna come sit with Isaac and I at lunch. You know, if you can tear yourself away from your friends for an hour.
It takes Jonah a few moments to reply and Isaac takes the opportunity to question Daniel further on Jonah.
"Why is his contact name in your phone 'Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke'?"
"Because Jonah's an idiot and made me type that," Daniel explains, "apparently he thinks saying that makes him cool."
"To be honest I think he's got more experience in that sector than we have."
"Isaac," Daniel says gravely, "please do not tell me that you think the expression bomb-ass is cool."
"I'm just saying Jonah might have a point."
"I'm actually surrounded by idiots."
Isaac is about to reply but Daniel's phone screen lights up, displaying the message from Jonah.
From: Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke
I was thinking about going off site for lunch and was wondering if you wanted to come. Isaac can come too, it's time I actually talked to him :)
"Do you wanna go into town for lunch?" Daniel asks.
"Sure," is Isaac's reply, "why not?"
To: Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke
We'll be there. Meet you at the main entrance at 12:30?
From: Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke
It's a date ;)
xxx
All Jonah can think about as he feels his phone buzzing in his pocket is that there is no easy way to subtly check your phone in most classes.
Jonah supposes that he is sat in Mr Hampton's blind spot and feasibly, he could get his phone out, quickly check the text and reply before anybody even noticed he wasn't paying attention. Usually Jonah wouldn't hesitate – he had chosen this seat for a reason after all – but today Mr Hampton has decided to quiz people on random questions and as confident as Jonah feels, he can't really afford to mess up in front of his entire French class, he'd never hear the end of it if he did.
However Jonah's curiosity as to who could be texting him at this time outweighs his fear of getting caught and so he slowly edges his phone out of the pocket of his trousers – which Jonah finds is surprisingly hard to do when you're sat down in skinny jeans – and sneaks a glance at the screen.
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Jonah I have a really important question to ask you.
Jonah feels himself sit up straighter, because he can't imagine what could possibly be so important that Daniel feels a need to ask him about it in the middle of lessons.
To: Dannosaurus Rex
What is it?
From: Dannosaurus Rex
What does a vagina look like?
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Like I've never seen one and I guess I'm just curious and you kinda seem like an expert idk
Jonah has to hold back a laugh. Because only Daniel would text him to ask about that and class it as important.
To: Dannosaurus Rex
I can't believe you just asked me that...
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Why are you refusing to answer? Is it cause you're lying and you've actually never seen one? Don't tell me your a virgin Jonah
To: Dannosaurus Rex
Don't worry, I'm most definitely not ;)
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Is it true you slept with Riley Olivers behind the bike sheds?
To: Dannosaurus Rex
We didn't have sex
Jonah regrets saying that as soon as he presses send because Daniel is not an idiot, and he can most definitely read between the lines when Jonah says that. And it's not exactly information that would Jonah like to be public knowledge, although apparently it's already part of the high school gossip chain. Unsurprising really, Riley Olivers has never really been known for keeping her mouth closed on such matters.
From: Dannosaurus Rex
So what did you do?
To: Dannosaurus Rex
I really don't wanna talk about it
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Omg Jonah!
From: Dannosaurus Rex
You're such a dirty dog
From: Dannosaurus Rex
That's honestly potentially the most disgusting thing I've ever heard
To: Dannosaurus Rex
You asked
From: Dannosaurus Rex
I thought they were LYING for gods sake.
From: Dannosaurus Rex
I'm never going near those bike sheds again; I think I might throw up if I do ngl
To: Dannosaurus Rex
Good to know, 0/10 recommend btw, I got a splinter
From: Dannosaurus Rex
EW. Where?
Jonah has a smile on his face as he types out a reply. Jonah is strangely unsurprised that Daniel is so dirty minded, he always knew the whole 'I'm so innocent' thing was an act.
To: Dannosaurus Rex
IN MY ARM get your head out of the gutter Danny-Boy
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Sorry, but hey, at least I didn't think it would be cool to get with Riley Olivers round the back of the bike shed ;)
It is then that Jonah realises that Daniel Evans is never going to let him forget the fact that he hooked up with Riley, because Daniel is seemingly a very mean person.
To: Dannosaurus Rex
You're never going to let me live that down are you?
From: Dannosaurus Rex
My mum always said to think about the consequences of your actions. This is one of those consequences :P
To: Dannosaurus Rex
Tbh Riley is hot though
Jonah waits patiently for Daniel to reply, because he knows that there is no way that Daniel is going to ever agree with him on this. Jonah has a feeling that even if Daniel was straight (which doesn't even seem like a possibility to be quite honest) then he still wouldn't be interested Riley.
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Preaching to the wrong crowd Jonah, to be honest I'm more of a Peter Olivers kind of guy
To: Dannosaurus Rex
He is pretty hot to be honest
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Is he as hot as me?
To: Dannosaurus Rex
Of course not bby, nobody is
"Jonah," the sound of Mr Hampton's voice makes Jonah sit up straighter in his seat, "would you care to share what you're texting about with the class."
"No."
"Well then perhaps you'd like to hand me your phone," Mr Hampton tells him, "you can have it back at the end of the day."
Jonah hands over the phone reluctantly after switching it off. He can only imagine the thoughts that are going to be going through Daniel's head when Jonah doesn't text back. Jonah doesn't want to be that guy, but he can't exactly help it.
For the rest of the lesson Jonah watches the clock intently waiting for the bell to ring so he can sprint out the door and apologise to Daniel. Jonah knows that it isn't his fault, but he also knows that it's shit when someone doesn't text you back for ages and he really doesn't want to be the douche that seems like he doesn't care. Because Jonah does care. He cares a hell of a lot.
xxx
Daniel walks out of his lesson to find Jonah running towards him. He swerves around other students before finally pulling to a stop in front of Daniel. Daniel is about to ask him what the rush is all about when Jonah doubles over and begins to try to catch his breath and holds up a hand towards Daniel making him stop talking.
"I'm sorry I didn't text back," Jonah says through snatched breaths.
"It's fine," Daniel said, "I mean I'm used to it."
"I'm still sorry, I didn't want to be that guy."
"Which guy?"
"The guy who makes you wait. You know how girls talk about the guy who waits ages to text you back just so you begin to doubt whatever you'd said and I didn't want to be doing that and I was worrying and yeah."
"So why didn't you just text me back?" Daniel asks.
"That is a good question Daniel," Jonah says, "blame Mr Hampton and some stupid rule about not being allowed to text during lessons. Like what's that even about?"
A small smile graces Daniel's face at that.
"Do you not know how to be sly? Because if you're getting caught then you seriously need to work on your texting during class technique cause yours is currently poor."
"Thanks for the words of encouragement."
"No problem, that's what friends are for."
"I need to get less friends like you then," Jonah says teasingly.
"Hey!"
"Just kidding Danny-Boy, you're officially awesome now."
"Do I get a certificate?"
"For what?"
"Being officially awesome."
"I'm afraid our funds just don't cover that right now. But you can have the pride of knowing that you're more awesome than everyone else."
"That's shit."
"Well there's just no pleasing some people is there?"
At that moment Isaac appears and gives the two confused looks. It probably doesn't help that they're currently blocking the corridor, forcing people to walk around each other, and that Jonah is still red-faced from running here.
"Do I even want to know what you two are talking about?"
"Probably not," Daniel admits, "you ready to go?"
Isaac murmurs in reply and Daniel chooses to take that as a yes seen as though there is no evidence to suggest otherwise and leads the group out of the doors and down the street.
"Where do you wanna eat then?" Jonah asks.
Daniel stops walking and cocks his head to the side because decisions like this require serious thought. Out of the corner of his eye Daniel can see the other two boys sharing exasperated looks and a rolling of eyes but he elects to ignore them and instead focuses on the dilemma at hand.
"Can we go to that new juice bar?" He asks eventually. "I hear they do good food."
"No," Isaac says holding out a hand to stop Daniel in his tracks, "there is no way I'm eating there. All the food there is weird and y'know, healthy. There's absolutely no way I'm going there for lunch."
"But I wanna go there," Daniel says, "pretty please."
Daniel looks to Jonah for support but Jonah refuses to meet his eye.
"Sorry Danny-Boy," Jonah tells him, "but I really need to consume an inordinate amount of calories right now, preferably with lots of sugar involved."
"But guys.."
"It's two against one Danny-Boy, we're not going there."
Daniel sighs loudly but he supposes they have a point, although that doesn't stop Daniel from feeling slightly hurt that neither of them are willing to humour him or even try the place.
"Where are we going then?" He asks. "Seen as though you two shot my idea down."
"It was a terrible idea," Isaac replies simply, "and do you just wanna go to Tally's?"
"Hell yes," Jonah says, "I haven't been to Tally's in ages. Oh my god I feel like crying just thinking about their burgers, oh my god please can we go to Tally's?"
Daniel just shakes his head at Jonah because he can't help but think that Jonah is perhaps being a bit too overenthusiastic about the whole thing but he finds himself agreeing to go anyway. Because Tally's does admittedly do good food, and Daniel just wants to eat.
The building looks much as it always does. It's painted a startling white with several neon signs in the window proclaiming the latest additions to the menu. To Daniel, Tally's has always seemed like a weird combination between a village cafe and an American Diner and yet somehow it works, it's a permanent favourite among most of the villagers and for good reason, Daniel is willing to admit that their entire menu is perhaps worth crying over now he thinks about it.
They manage to open the door without fault but as soon as Jonah tries to set foot in the cafe he catches his foot on the doormat and is sent flying. Several people already in the cafe look up at him in concern but Jonah quickly stands up and brushes himself off.
"You okay?" Daniel asks, his voice laced with concern.
Isaac has no such worries, he is quite happy to laugh at Jonah. He attempts to stop when he notices Daniel glaring at him.
"Sorry mate," Isaac says, "but that was funny, you just... went."
Jonah laughs along but Daniel can sense the uneasiness in his voice and can see the blush that is starting to spread down from his ears and across his cheeks until his face and neck are all flushed red.
"You sure you're okay?" Daniel asks him again quietly.
"I'm fine," Jonah replies offering Daniel a smile, "I appreciate your concern though."
The three of them quickly seat themselves in a small booth in the corner of the room and settle down to peruse the menus.
"I'm having a burger," Jonah says after a few seconds, "I don't know why I'm even bothering to look at the menu. I'd decided what I was having before we even came in here."
"I might have a slice of the pizza, what about you Daniel?"
Daniel just shrugs, because this is always his problem when they go places, he can never decide on what to eat. It's like nothing is really appealing to his brain as soon as he opens a menu and in the end Daniel just finds himself settling for whatever sounds the least bad. It's not that Daniel is a fussy eater; it's more that as soon as he sits down in a restaurant everything suddenly sounds like the least appetising meal in the world. It's weird but it's something that Daniel has become accustomed to dealing with.
"I might have a chicken burger," Daniel says after a while.
Instantly Jonah offers his hand up for a high five but Daniel just looks at it in confusion because he's not entirely sure why Jonah wants a high five in the first place.
"High five for being burger buddies!" Jonah cheers and Daniel reluctantly places his hand against Jonah's.
"I could really sense the enthusiasm then," Isaac says dryly.
Daniel rolls his eyes but Jonah keeps his hand up in the air and waits impatiently.
"High five me properly," Jonah says with a pout. "Else I'm going to have to threaten to leave."
xxx
The table falls silent as Daniel goes to the loo before the group leaves.
"What do you want with Daniel?" Isaac asks suddenly as soon as he is sure that Daniel is out of earshot.
"What do you mean?"
"Are you just messing him around? Because you know he's a person too, he's not some person you can pretend to be friends with a couple of days and then drop. He's insecure enough as it is, he doesn't need you to pull a stunt like that."
"I'm not," Jonah says feeling offended, "I promise. Daniel's awesome, and he's funny and I actually want to be friends with him. I know what happened with Charlie..."
"He told you about that?"
"Yeah."
"Wow he must really like you."
"What?"
"Nothing, all I'm saying is that if you hurt that boy I don't care how popular you are or how weak I am, I am not afraid to give you a black eye," Isaac says simply.
"Noted," Jonah replies, "but I don't plan on hurting him. You know I was more worried that you were gonna hate me for trying to be friends with him."
"Why would I?"
"Because some people get touchy and think you're trying to steal their friend."
"I don't have a problem with you wanting to be his friend," Isaac tells Jonah, "you make him happy, I'm just saying that I don't want you breaking his heart."
"You really care about him don't you?"
"He's my best friend, people give him a lot of shit and he doesn't deserve it."
"You know if he was straight then the girls would be all over him," Jonah says.
"That's what I told him! Seriously, he's a terrible wingman because all the girls just try it on with him and then I'm just left to console them when they realise he doesn't swing that way. It's so frustrating. He still makes me return the favour though."
"You help him hit on guys?"
"Yeah, I've been to far too many gay bars for my liking," Isaac says frowning at the thought.
Jonah lets out a laugh at that.
"I need you to tell me something because Daniel is refusing to. Does he have a grindr?" Jonah asks eagerly.
"He does," Isaac replies, "although he didn't choose to get it."
"What?"
"I may have stolen his phone, downloaded the app and created his profile for him. He was not impressed."
"I like you Isaac, I like you a lot."
When Daniel returns to the table he looks pleased to see that Isaac and Jonah are chatting animatedly together and he offers Jonah a smile.
"Where to now?" He asks.
"Well lessons start again in ten minutes," Isaac replies, "so back to school I guess."
"Ugh."
"Come on Danny-Boy, it can't be that bad, we've got English together next lesson after all."
"Oh god your friends are all going to be there."
"They're not that bad!"
Jonah is forced to reconsider what he said when both Isaac and Daniel turn to him with raised eyebrows and disbelieving looks on their faces.
"They're not dicks all the time," Jonah says in a desperate attempt to change their minds.
"So just ninety-nine percent of the time then?" Daniel asks.
"Shut up," Jonah replies half-heartedly.
"Seriously Jonah," Isaac says, "you're lucky we don't hold your friends against you else we honestly would not be hanging out right now."
"Are they really that bad?"
"I get that to you they might be funny and nice and everything but they've made the past six years of my life absolute hell so forgive me if I don't like them," Isaac replies.
"Sorry."
"Not your fault bro."
The three of them make their way out of the building, leaving a tip on the table.
Daniel attempts to balance as he walks along the top of somebody's garden wall and Jonah cannot help but let out a giggle as Daniel sways from side to side precariously.
"Hold on to me," Jonah offers, extending a hand towards Daniel.
Holding onto it gingerly, Daniel continues to make his way along the wall, this time much more steadily before jumping off when he reaches the end. He turns to Jonah with a grin on his face.
"I did it!" Daniel says, sounding as if he has just turned five years old. "Thanks for your help."
"No problem."
Isaac rolls his eyes at the two of them before ushering them on their way again.
He tugs on the back of Jonah's shirt, making him slow down so that Daniel walks ahead of the two of them.
"You sure you don't like him?" Isaac asks teasingly.
When Jonah looks at him in shock, Isaac quickly explains.
"I'm joking man," Isaac says, "it's just that you two looked kind of cute together just then and you're one of the few people who are willing to endorse Daniel's childlike behaviour."
"It's kinda cute," Jonah admits without a trace of embarrassment in his tone.
Jonah can see that Isaac is shocked that Jonah is willing to say that without finding it weird and he watches a smile spread across Isaac's face.
"I like you Jonah Clarke," Isaac says, "you're pretty damn awesome."
From: Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke
Morning Sunshine :) I can't believe you feel asleep on me last night, I thought my conversation was scintillating
To: Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke
What have I told you about using long words so early in the morning?
From: Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke
Stop telling me how to live my life Daniel!!!!!!!!!!! :p
Daniel shakes his head before slowly dragging himself out of bed, it's difficult because his bed is warm and the rest of his room is not but somehow Daniel manages it.
"Morning," Daniel's mother says as he steps out onto the corridor.
Daniel will never stop being surprised by how awake his mother seems on Monday mornings, it's as if she's learnt some special trick that means she is always strangely awake. Daniel almost wishes he had that superpower too, getting out of bed has to be the worst part of his day without a doubt.
Luckily Daniel manages to get ready to go to school without falling asleep and even the gentle rocking of the bus does not manage to lure Daniel into unconsciousness.
Isaac grabs Daniel's arm as soon as he gets off the bus.
"You have some explaining to do," he says simply, "because what the hell is going on between you and Jonah Clarke?"
"We're friends."
"And when did that happen?"
"Last Thursday," Jonah replies, "you know, when I asked him out and he said no."
"I told you he wasn't gay."
"Seriously Isaac, you're doing the whole 'I told you so' thing, not cool."
"Sorry bro," Isaac says and Daniel is weirded out, because Isaac has never uttered the word 'bro' before in his entire life, "I'm just looking out for you, don't want you to get hurt again."
Isaac is one of the few people that Daniel has entrusted with the information about Charlie Martin. It only seemed fair considering Isaac was the only person who let Daniel sit him with at lunch, was the only person who pointed him in the right direction for class and so in return Daniel became Isaac's best friend and shared his biggest secret. To be honest Daniel feels as if Isaac got a very good deal out of it.
"I get it, and it's fine, I'm over him."
"You move on fast," Isaac comments, "I'd call you a player but I don't think you count as one seen as though you never actually get with anyone."
Daniel doesn't reply instead he leans over and shoves Isaac to the side with his shoulder.
"What was that for?" Isaac shouts.
Increasing his pace, Daniel looks back over his shoulder to see how mad Isaac looks and is greeted by the sight of Isaac running and pushing past people to try to catch up to him.
"I hate you," Isaac says pushing Daniel lightly.
"But I'm still your best friend right?"
"Unfortunately."
"You know I love you too Isaac," Daniel teases, "and I can tell that you enjoy my company too much."
"Whatever," Isaac replies, "just as long as Jonah isn't replacing me."
"He would never."
"Not even if he went gay for you?"
"People don't just go gay Isaac."
"I know that," Isaac sighs, "but like if it turned out all the flings were just beards and he was actually mega horny for you?"
"Isaac!"
"Just answer the damn question Dan."
"Then you'd still be my best friend," Daniel tells Isaac honestly, "Jonah would just be my hot piece of arse on the side."
"You're so lucky he isn't listening to this conversation right now."
"Isaac, it's Jonah Clarke, I'm surprised that's not his twitter handle."
"Either that or @sexybeast69," Isaac suggests.
"So you think Jonah Clarke is sexy then?" Daniel asks teasingly.
"I may be straight," Isaac says, "but I can appreciate a good looking guy when I see one or a hot piece of arse as you say."
"And that's why I'm friends with you."
"Because I'm open minded and not a homophobe?"
"No, because you can help me pick out hot guys without being competition."
"Seriously? Is that the only reason you're friends with me?"
"Nah," Daniel says, "I'm friends with you for the unlimited supply of chocolate you seem to have as well."
"I feel so loved right now."
"As you should."
Ten minutes later and the pair of them are sat in their form room waiting for registration to start.
"So is Jonah going to chill with us at lunch?" Isaac asks.
Daniel hasn't really thought about this. At the moment it seems as if Isaac and Jonah are involved in two completely separate parts of his lives but they're both his friends, and he loves spending time with them both so it only seems logical that they should meet properly.
"I'll text him and see."
To: Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke
Do you wanna come sit with Isaac and I at lunch. You know, if you can tear yourself away from your friends for an hour.
It takes Jonah a few moments to reply and Isaac takes the opportunity to question Daniel further on Jonah.
"Why is his contact name in your phone 'Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke'?"
"Because Jonah's an idiot and made me type that," Daniel explains, "apparently he thinks saying that makes him cool."
"To be honest I think he's got more experience in that sector than we have."
"Isaac," Daniel says gravely, "please do not tell me that you think the expression bomb-ass is cool."
"I'm just saying Jonah might have a point."
"I'm actually surrounded by idiots."
Isaac is about to reply but Daniel's phone screen lights up, displaying the message from Jonah.
From: Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke
I was thinking about going off site for lunch and was wondering if you wanted to come. Isaac can come too, it's time I actually talked to him :)
"Do you wanna go into town for lunch?" Daniel asks.
"Sure," is Isaac's reply, "why not?"
To: Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke
We'll be there. Meet you at the main entrance at 12:30?
From: Jonah 'Bomb-Ass' Clarke
It's a date ;)
xxx
All Jonah can think about as he feels his phone buzzing in his pocket is that there is no easy way to subtly check your phone in most classes.
Jonah supposes that he is sat in Mr Hampton's blind spot and feasibly, he could get his phone out, quickly check the text and reply before anybody even noticed he wasn't paying attention. Usually Jonah wouldn't hesitate – he had chosen this seat for a reason after all – but today Mr Hampton has decided to quiz people on random questions and as confident as Jonah feels, he can't really afford to mess up in front of his entire French class, he'd never hear the end of it if he did.
However Jonah's curiosity as to who could be texting him at this time outweighs his fear of getting caught and so he slowly edges his phone out of the pocket of his trousers – which Jonah finds is surprisingly hard to do when you're sat down in skinny jeans – and sneaks a glance at the screen.
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Jonah I have a really important question to ask you.
Jonah feels himself sit up straighter, because he can't imagine what could possibly be so important that Daniel feels a need to ask him about it in the middle of lessons.
To: Dannosaurus Rex
What is it?
From: Dannosaurus Rex
What does a vagina look like?
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Like I've never seen one and I guess I'm just curious and you kinda seem like an expert idk
Jonah has to hold back a laugh. Because only Daniel would text him to ask about that and class it as important.
To: Dannosaurus Rex
I can't believe you just asked me that...
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Why are you refusing to answer? Is it cause you're lying and you've actually never seen one? Don't tell me your a virgin Jonah
To: Dannosaurus Rex
Don't worry, I'm most definitely not ;)
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Is it true you slept with Riley Olivers behind the bike sheds?
To: Dannosaurus Rex
We didn't have sex
Jonah regrets saying that as soon as he presses send because Daniel is not an idiot, and he can most definitely read between the lines when Jonah says that. And it's not exactly information that would Jonah like to be public knowledge, although apparently it's already part of the high school gossip chain. Unsurprising really, Riley Olivers has never really been known for keeping her mouth closed on such matters.
From: Dannosaurus Rex
So what did you do?
To: Dannosaurus Rex
I really don't wanna talk about it
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Omg Jonah!
From: Dannosaurus Rex
You're such a dirty dog
From: Dannosaurus Rex
That's honestly potentially the most disgusting thing I've ever heard
To: Dannosaurus Rex
You asked
From: Dannosaurus Rex
I thought they were LYING for gods sake.
From: Dannosaurus Rex
I'm never going near those bike sheds again; I think I might throw up if I do ngl
To: Dannosaurus Rex
Good to know, 0/10 recommend btw, I got a splinter
From: Dannosaurus Rex
EW. Where?
Jonah has a smile on his face as he types out a reply. Jonah is strangely unsurprised that Daniel is so dirty minded, he always knew the whole 'I'm so innocent' thing was an act.
To: Dannosaurus Rex
IN MY ARM get your head out of the gutter Danny-Boy
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Sorry, but hey, at least I didn't think it would be cool to get with Riley Olivers round the back of the bike shed ;)
It is then that Jonah realises that Daniel Evans is never going to let him forget the fact that he hooked up with Riley, because Daniel is seemingly a very mean person.
To: Dannosaurus Rex
You're never going to let me live that down are you?
From: Dannosaurus Rex
My mum always said to think about the consequences of your actions. This is one of those consequences :P
To: Dannosaurus Rex
Tbh Riley is hot though
Jonah waits patiently for Daniel to reply, because he knows that there is no way that Daniel is going to ever agree with him on this. Jonah has a feeling that even if Daniel was straight (which doesn't even seem like a possibility to be quite honest) then he still wouldn't be interested Riley.
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Preaching to the wrong crowd Jonah, to be honest I'm more of a Peter Olivers kind of guy
To: Dannosaurus Rex
He is pretty hot to be honest
From: Dannosaurus Rex
Is he as hot as me?
To: Dannosaurus Rex
Of course not bby, nobody is
"Jonah," the sound of Mr Hampton's voice makes Jonah sit up straighter in his seat, "would you care to share what you're texting about with the class."
"No."
"Well then perhaps you'd like to hand me your phone," Mr Hampton tells him, "you can have it back at the end of the day."
Jonah hands over the phone reluctantly after switching it off. He can only imagine the thoughts that are going to be going through Daniel's head when Jonah doesn't text back. Jonah doesn't want to be that guy, but he can't exactly help it.
For the rest of the lesson Jonah watches the clock intently waiting for the bell to ring so he can sprint out the door and apologise to Daniel. Jonah knows that it isn't his fault, but he also knows that it's shit when someone doesn't text you back for ages and he really doesn't want to be the douche that seems like he doesn't care. Because Jonah does care. He cares a hell of a lot.
xxx
Daniel walks out of his lesson to find Jonah running towards him. He swerves around other students before finally pulling to a stop in front of Daniel. Daniel is about to ask him what the rush is all about when Jonah doubles over and begins to try to catch his breath and holds up a hand towards Daniel making him stop talking.
"I'm sorry I didn't text back," Jonah says through snatched breaths.
"It's fine," Daniel said, "I mean I'm used to it."
"I'm still sorry, I didn't want to be that guy."
"Which guy?"
"The guy who makes you wait. You know how girls talk about the guy who waits ages to text you back just so you begin to doubt whatever you'd said and I didn't want to be doing that and I was worrying and yeah."
"So why didn't you just text me back?" Daniel asks.
"That is a good question Daniel," Jonah says, "blame Mr Hampton and some stupid rule about not being allowed to text during lessons. Like what's that even about?"
A small smile graces Daniel's face at that.
"Do you not know how to be sly? Because if you're getting caught then you seriously need to work on your texting during class technique cause yours is currently poor."
"Thanks for the words of encouragement."
"No problem, that's what friends are for."
"I need to get less friends like you then," Jonah says teasingly.
"Hey!"
"Just kidding Danny-Boy, you're officially awesome now."
"Do I get a certificate?"
"For what?"
"Being officially awesome."
"I'm afraid our funds just don't cover that right now. But you can have the pride of knowing that you're more awesome than everyone else."
"That's shit."
"Well there's just no pleasing some people is there?"
At that moment Isaac appears and gives the two confused looks. It probably doesn't help that they're currently blocking the corridor, forcing people to walk around each other, and that Jonah is still red-faced from running here.
"Do I even want to know what you two are talking about?"
"Probably not," Daniel admits, "you ready to go?"
Isaac murmurs in reply and Daniel chooses to take that as a yes seen as though there is no evidence to suggest otherwise and leads the group out of the doors and down the street.
"Where do you wanna eat then?" Jonah asks.
Daniel stops walking and cocks his head to the side because decisions like this require serious thought. Out of the corner of his eye Daniel can see the other two boys sharing exasperated looks and a rolling of eyes but he elects to ignore them and instead focuses on the dilemma at hand.
"Can we go to that new juice bar?" He asks eventually. "I hear they do good food."
"No," Isaac says holding out a hand to stop Daniel in his tracks, "there is no way I'm eating there. All the food there is weird and y'know, healthy. There's absolutely no way I'm going there for lunch."
"But I wanna go there," Daniel says, "pretty please."
Daniel looks to Jonah for support but Jonah refuses to meet his eye.
"Sorry Danny-Boy," Jonah tells him, "but I really need to consume an inordinate amount of calories right now, preferably with lots of sugar involved."
"But guys.."
"It's two against one Danny-Boy, we're not going there."
Daniel sighs loudly but he supposes they have a point, although that doesn't stop Daniel from feeling slightly hurt that neither of them are willing to humour him or even try the place.
"Where are we going then?" He asks. "Seen as though you two shot my idea down."
"It was a terrible idea," Isaac replies simply, "and do you just wanna go to Tally's?"
"Hell yes," Jonah says, "I haven't been to Tally's in ages. Oh my god I feel like crying just thinking about their burgers, oh my god please can we go to Tally's?"
Daniel just shakes his head at Jonah because he can't help but think that Jonah is perhaps being a bit too overenthusiastic about the whole thing but he finds himself agreeing to go anyway. Because Tally's does admittedly do good food, and Daniel just wants to eat.
The building looks much as it always does. It's painted a startling white with several neon signs in the window proclaiming the latest additions to the menu. To Daniel, Tally's has always seemed like a weird combination between a village cafe and an American Diner and yet somehow it works, it's a permanent favourite among most of the villagers and for good reason, Daniel is willing to admit that their entire menu is perhaps worth crying over now he thinks about it.
They manage to open the door without fault but as soon as Jonah tries to set foot in the cafe he catches his foot on the doormat and is sent flying. Several people already in the cafe look up at him in concern but Jonah quickly stands up and brushes himself off.
"You okay?" Daniel asks, his voice laced with concern.
Isaac has no such worries, he is quite happy to laugh at Jonah. He attempts to stop when he notices Daniel glaring at him.
"Sorry mate," Isaac says, "but that was funny, you just... went."
Jonah laughs along but Daniel can sense the uneasiness in his voice and can see the blush that is starting to spread down from his ears and across his cheeks until his face and neck are all flushed red.
"You sure you're okay?" Daniel asks him again quietly.
"I'm fine," Jonah replies offering Daniel a smile, "I appreciate your concern though."
The three of them quickly seat themselves in a small booth in the corner of the room and settle down to peruse the menus.
"I'm having a burger," Jonah says after a few seconds, "I don't know why I'm even bothering to look at the menu. I'd decided what I was having before we even came in here."
"I might have a slice of the pizza, what about you Daniel?"
Daniel just shrugs, because this is always his problem when they go places, he can never decide on what to eat. It's like nothing is really appealing to his brain as soon as he opens a menu and in the end Daniel just finds himself settling for whatever sounds the least bad. It's not that Daniel is a fussy eater; it's more that as soon as he sits down in a restaurant everything suddenly sounds like the least appetising meal in the world. It's weird but it's something that Daniel has become accustomed to dealing with.
"I might have a chicken burger," Daniel says after a while.
Instantly Jonah offers his hand up for a high five but Daniel just looks at it in confusion because he's not entirely sure why Jonah wants a high five in the first place.
"High five for being burger buddies!" Jonah cheers and Daniel reluctantly places his hand against Jonah's.
"I could really sense the enthusiasm then," Isaac says dryly.
Daniel rolls his eyes but Jonah keeps his hand up in the air and waits impatiently.
"High five me properly," Jonah says with a pout. "Else I'm going to have to threaten to leave."
xxx
The table falls silent as Daniel goes to the loo before the group leaves.
"What do you want with Daniel?" Isaac asks suddenly as soon as he is sure that Daniel is out of earshot.
"What do you mean?"
"Are you just messing him around? Because you know he's a person too, he's not some person you can pretend to be friends with a couple of days and then drop. He's insecure enough as it is, he doesn't need you to pull a stunt like that."
"I'm not," Jonah says feeling offended, "I promise. Daniel's awesome, and he's funny and I actually want to be friends with him. I know what happened with Charlie..."
"He told you about that?"
"Yeah."
"Wow he must really like you."
"What?"
"Nothing, all I'm saying is that if you hurt that boy I don't care how popular you are or how weak I am, I am not afraid to give you a black eye," Isaac says simply.
"Noted," Jonah replies, "but I don't plan on hurting him. You know I was more worried that you were gonna hate me for trying to be friends with him."
"Why would I?"
"Because some people get touchy and think you're trying to steal their friend."
"I don't have a problem with you wanting to be his friend," Isaac tells Jonah, "you make him happy, I'm just saying that I don't want you breaking his heart."
"You really care about him don't you?"
"He's my best friend, people give him a lot of shit and he doesn't deserve it."
"You know if he was straight then the girls would be all over him," Jonah says.
"That's what I told him! Seriously, he's a terrible wingman because all the girls just try it on with him and then I'm just left to console them when they realise he doesn't swing that way. It's so frustrating. He still makes me return the favour though."
"You help him hit on guys?"
"Yeah, I've been to far too many gay bars for my liking," Isaac says frowning at the thought.
Jonah lets out a laugh at that.
"I need you to tell me something because Daniel is refusing to. Does he have a grindr?" Jonah asks eagerly.
"He does," Isaac replies, "although he didn't choose to get it."
"What?"
"I may have stolen his phone, downloaded the app and created his profile for him. He was not impressed."
"I like you Isaac, I like you a lot."
When Daniel returns to the table he looks pleased to see that Isaac and Jonah are chatting animatedly together and he offers Jonah a smile.
"Where to now?" He asks.
"Well lessons start again in ten minutes," Isaac replies, "so back to school I guess."
"Ugh."
"Come on Danny-Boy, it can't be that bad, we've got English together next lesson after all."
"Oh god your friends are all going to be there."
"They're not that bad!"
Jonah is forced to reconsider what he said when both Isaac and Daniel turn to him with raised eyebrows and disbelieving looks on their faces.
"They're not dicks all the time," Jonah says in a desperate attempt to change their minds.
"So just ninety-nine percent of the time then?" Daniel asks.
"Shut up," Jonah replies half-heartedly.
"Seriously Jonah," Isaac says, "you're lucky we don't hold your friends against you else we honestly would not be hanging out right now."
"Are they really that bad?"
"I get that to you they might be funny and nice and everything but they've made the past six years of my life absolute hell so forgive me if I don't like them," Isaac replies.
"Sorry."
"Not your fault bro."
The three of them make their way out of the building, leaving a tip on the table.
Daniel attempts to balance as he walks along the top of somebody's garden wall and Jonah cannot help but let out a giggle as Daniel sways from side to side precariously.
"Hold on to me," Jonah offers, extending a hand towards Daniel.
Holding onto it gingerly, Daniel continues to make his way along the wall, this time much more steadily before jumping off when he reaches the end. He turns to Jonah with a grin on his face.
"I did it!" Daniel says, sounding as if he has just turned five years old. "Thanks for your help."
"No problem."
Isaac rolls his eyes at the two of them before ushering them on their way again.
He tugs on the back of Jonah's shirt, making him slow down so that Daniel walks ahead of the two of them.
"You sure you don't like him?" Isaac asks teasingly.
When Jonah looks at him in shock, Isaac quickly explains.
"I'm joking man," Isaac says, "it's just that you two looked kind of cute together just then and you're one of the few people who are willing to endorse Daniel's childlike behaviour."
"It's kinda cute," Jonah admits without a trace of embarrassment in his tone.
Jonah can see that Isaac is shocked that Jonah is willing to say that without finding it weird and he watches a smile spread across Isaac's face.
"I like you Jonah Clarke," Isaac says, "you're pretty damn awesome."
End of Jonah Clarke Is Not Gay Chapter 5. Continue reading Chapter 6 or return to Jonah Clarke Is Not Gay book page.