Just Friends - Chapter 20: Chapter 20

Spencer's POV
"January 2nd, 2013."
The line fell dead. Almost as silent, achingly calm and lifeless as my dark room. "Damn." Karla mumbled, "That's pretty close."
"You're telling me." I scoffed, "It's the third week in September, school just started and I already have crap to worry about."
She sighed from the other side of the line, "I'm sorry I couldn't be there to eat comfort food with you."
I rolled my eyes. "I could use a double banana split and some soapy ass teen-drama right now."
"Call Abbs, I'm sure she's feeling pretty lonely right now since I left."
I snorted, "Abby's too busy having steamy girl on girl intercourse with her hot brunette girlfriend to be upset."
"Ouch." Karla laughed, "At least one of us is getting some."
I snorted, "You're in college, you're beautiful and feisty, I'm sure you're Queen of the sluts by now."
I could taste her eye roll on the other line. "Speaking of queens and sluts, how is Ethan taking the news?"
"Well, I would have to tell him first."
"Spencer."
"Oh, don't give me that tone, missy. You try telling your boyfriend who is still currently sporting a cast that you're moving away forever."
She huffed, "Why didn't you tell him when you were talking to him in the hospital like you said?"
"He was drugged up." I responded, "I didn't want to have to tell him and them hope that he remembered when he woke back up. One time explaining things to him is enough."
"Well you better hurry up and tell him while there is a lot of time left." She scolded, and if I was honest with myself, she was right to. "You don't want January 1st to come around and you tell him that you're leaving in a day or two. At least this way you have a good long semester with one another."
I was about to respond to her criticism but someone yelled in the background and Karla fell silent. I took a few brief seconds before I decided to finally speak up, "Karly, you still there?"
She took a minute, "Spence," she sighed, "I've got to go."
I frowned and sat on my bed, "We've barley been talking ten minutes." I reminded her with as much of a sure guilt inducing tone I could possibly muster up.
"I know." She grumbled, "College is almost as much of a bitch as my chemistry lab partner." She whined. "Talk to you later?"
I huffed. "Fine. Bye." She didn't even say it back before she hung up the phone. "Bitch much?" I mumbled and hung up my end the line.
"Spence, let's roll!" Ethan called from downstairs.
Sighing outwardly, I jumped off of the bed and headed downstairs where my bags and the others stood near the door.
Ethan, still sporting his leg cast and singular crutch, flailed his arms in the air once I came into view. "Finally! You took only forever!"
Abby rolled her eyes and her brown eyesd, tall and brunette girlfriend – who I've learnt name is Tanya – snickered.
Jake was impatiently tapping his feet and looking at his watch. Perhaps not oddly, he was dressed in a flannel shirt and washed up jeans. "What was so important that you had to take a day and a half?"
"I was speaking with Karla." I retorted, stepping close enough to place a kiss on Ethan's cheek and take both our bags away from him.
Jake's eyes grew just slightly. "How is she? Is she fine? Okay? Did she say anything?"
I raised a brow, "She's fine, she's okay and say anything about what exactly?"
His cheeks noticeably reddened but he looked down to avoid anyone else seeing it. "Nothing." He looked back up once most of it had disappeared. "Let's go watch us a falling star!" he shouted excitedly.
And while Ethan hooted, Abby growled. "For the hundredth time, it's not a falling star. It's a satellite that the government is deactivating and letting fall to earth and it just so happens to be falling very close to Idaho."
"Yeah," Jake laughed. "We'd be lucky if it doesn't kill us."
"Awesome." Ethan chimed in, opening the front door and leading us to the front of the lawn where Jake mom's minivan was parked on the curb.
While Russo was probably in the van itself, Suzy opted to be on the outside leaning against the exterior of the silver vehicle.
Ethan noticeably slowed once we started to get closer to her. At one point, he even tried to fake "ankle pains" before I guided him closer to where she stood. She took off her shades and darted her eyes between the both of us. "I see the awkward tension as all but disappeared." She noted, sarcastically so.
Ethan swallowed, "You look nice today, Suzy." I eyed him. "I mean you don't look great?" She eyed him. "I mean you look...I mean you don't look...I'm going to go inside the van now." He muttered, trying to take the bags out of my hand.
I snapped at his fingers and he recoiled. "You're having ankle pains, remember?"
He rolled his eyes, "Will you stop treating me like a kid? I sprained my ankle, not my manhood."
"That made no sense whatsoever." I retorted and opened the side door for him where the others were waiting – sans Jake who was still putting bags in the back of the van. "Now get in and sit comfy."
He grumbled something under his breath about me holding him by the balls but got in anyway, slamming the door behind him.
Suzy snickered, "Is he really going to be a child through this entire thing?"
"You can bet on it." I responded, heading to the back of the jeep while Suzy reopened the side door and got into the van. Resting both Ethan and my luggage down, I leaned on the car with my arms folded; watching as Jake placed the bags in one by one.
At first he paid me no mind, glancing up just momentarily before returning to filling the trunk, but after a few more stolen glances in my direction, he stopped what he was doing and eyed me down. "Is there a problem, Spence?" he asked, sounding rather annoyed.
"You want to remind again why you asked us to pack an entire duffel bag of clothing when this satellite thing is only happening for a few seconds?"
He rolled his eyes and started to pack things again, "Because," he strained as he lifted one of the girls' bags, "I was thinking that if we enjoyed being in the cabin that we could stay for the entire weekend."
"And is there any particular reason you're dressed like the guy on the Brawny Tissue and smell like a dead cat?"
He sighed. "It's called being a man, Spence."
I raised an intrigued – if not perplexed – brow. "So, smelling as if you haven't showered in a month is being a man?"
He grumbled something incoherent under his breath, "Anything else you want to criticize me on?"
"Yes. Do you miss Karla?"
He snorted, "Please."
"I'm serious, Jake."
"I don't...she was overprotective and felt that she was the mother of the group." He barked, putting the last of the bags in the trunk and closing it.
"You mean like you're being right now?"
He went to retort but must have noticed just how right I was. Instead, he looked to change the subject. "What are you going to do about this moving thing?"
I frowned, "I don't know. This trip is the perfect way to tell Ethan but I don't want to knock him while he's down."
"Well, make the decision fast. You know how over dramatic Littman gets." He muttered and headed towards the driver's side of the car. After locking the doors, I hopped into the car as well and away we were.
It took us longer than any of us could have expected to get to the cabins. By the time we got there, night was swiftly approaching. Not that it mattered to these teenagers. All of them, excluding Suzy and myself, quickly unpacked their things and ran towards the lake that lied directly below the hilltop where the sun was quickly descending.
I watched as the three boys, Abby and her girlfriend all ran (or limped in Ethan's case) towards the lake and halted on the edge to slip a few inaudible words between them. "He looks so happy today." I mumbled as I watched them, or more so Ethan, whom of which stood closer to the center.
Suzy smiled from the side of me and laced one of her warm and friendly hands in one of mine. "He's dating you, he's getting his cast of pretty soon and he's out in the great, untamed wild with his closest friends. If I were him, I'd be happy too."
I tried to smile at her attempt to cheer me up, but just the thought of having to tell Ethan that I was moving was enough to bring any chance of a smile growing to a screeching halt. "That's sweet of you, Suzy. I almost forgive you for almost kissing my boyfriend."
She rolled her eyes with a sharp huffed, "At least I told you about that." She scolded, "And I wasn't ever planning on kissing him. He was nervous about sleeping with you and I was showing him how to seduce you."
"Right." I retorted. "Just keep your grubby little hands away from what's mine."
She scoffed playfully, "Aye, aye Captain."
"On my mark!" Jake shouted. The entire gang of teenagers was near the edge of the dock, including Ethan; all seemingly preparing to make their way into the murky lake.
"One!"
Suzy stepped a forward a little, "Ethan isn't planning on jumping in there with that cast on is he?"
"Two!"
I narrowed my eyes, "He's not that stupid."
"Three!" Or was he?
She looked back at me with bewilderment, "I think he is."
"Go!"
And go they did. In one big leap of united faith, the whole lot of them jumped into the lake and disappeared from our view. I couldn't stop the growl that got stuck in the back of my throat as I briskly walked over to the peer where they stupidly allowed Ethan to jump in.
By the time I stormed there and Suzy had caught up to me, they were all laughing and childishly splashing water on one another. "Ethan!" I shouted angrily.
The boy in question flinched at the sudden boom of my voice and hesitantly looked in my direction; all too aware of the scowling he was about to have handed to him. "I'm okay, Spence." He chuckled and (barley) swam in my direction to the boardwalk; using his hands to clear his vision of water before resting them on the wooden walkway and looking up at me.
"You have a cast on your leg, Ethan. Get out of the water."
He frowned, "I wanna have fun with the others."
"Well, you should have thought about that before you tried to be Tony Hawk."
He shrugged. "I prefer Ryan Sheckler."
I wasn't amused. "Get out. Now." I hissed.
He blinked a few times before frowning and grumbling something inaudibly under his breath and climbing back up onto the peer. He didn't even bother to speak with me; opting to just brush passed me and limp away.
I closed my eyes and breathed out sharply; reopening them to find everyone in the water darting their gazes between me and Ethan. Whom of which had decided that sitting near the cabin alone was the right place to sulk like the ten year old he was.
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. It's not like I wanted to stop his fun but the kid was wearing a cast for Christ sake. And no matter what the media said about teenagers, we were supposed to be a little responsible and a lot less reckless.
After a few minutes of the water just rushing towards what shore distanced it from the cabins, I turned around and slowly walked over to where he sat huddled with his knees to his chin and looking up over to the hill.
I sat next to him and like the brat he was, he scooted over to widen the gap between us. And every time I moved over to get closer to him, he'd move over. That is until he ran out of ground to shuffle over to and found himself wedged between the stoned walkway and myself.
He pouted once he noticed the predicament he had put himself in; huffing in defeat once he had nowhere else to go. "Would you leave me alone?" he asked a bit bitterly and refused to take his eyes off of the setting sun for tiniest of seconds.
"Not until you start acting like you have any brain cells." I chided, "What you did was dangerous and could have just extended the amount of time you have to walk around with this cast on your ankle."
He scoffed, "I hardly doubt lake water is going to re-sprain bones."
"That is beside the point, Ethan." I scolded, growing tired of his sassy retorts. "You need to start acting like you're maturing."
He snorted, "My voice is ten times deeper than it was before summer."
"What the hell does that have to do with maturing?" I bit, "When since does starting to sound like Barry White, growing hair under your chin and above your lip make you a man? Being a man is making wise, concise decisions and it starts here."
He finally pealed his eyes off of the sky and swiftly darted them in my direction with a look of confused annoyance flaring them "Why are you being so abrasive? You've been acting strange these past two weeks ever since I got out of the hospital." He leaned over, "Is there something you want to tell me? Are we spending to much time together? Are you getting sick of me?"
"No." I responded, admittedly a little angrier than it should have come out. I drew back and sighed, "Never." I said a lot more calmly. "I just worry that you will be able to make good decisions when I'm not around."
He furrowed his eyes brows and squinted, "Not around?" he questioned, "Are joining the army or something?" I huffed exaggeratedly and stood. He tried himself to stand but found it way too difficult. "Spencer?" he said, looking up helplessly.
I ran my hand through my hair again before offering him a hand to his feet. After he dusted himself off, he reconnected our eyes. "We should talk." I murmured.
And that must have scared him a whole lot because he visibly shivered. "About, uh, about what?" he stuttered, looking down momentarily to play with his fingers.
I was about to speak when Jake's voice echoed in our direction. "Spencer! Ethan!" We both looked over to him near the cabin's door with the others all toweling themselves off. "Marshmallow Bonfire time!" he cheered.
I huffed, half-relieved that I didn't have to talk about this right here and now...but half regretting that it didn't. "We'll talk about it after the bonfire when everyone's asleep.
He looked reluctant and scared but nodded nonetheless. "Right after?"
"The very second." I promised and with him still holding on to that reluctance – though it seemed to have dissipated marginally – he nodded.
And so we trotted over while keeping a comfortable distance – just a few inches at most – between us. I was nervous as to how he'd react and I could only imagine the overdramatic conclusions he was coming to in his mind.
We followed Jake to the back of the log cabin where the four tents were set up earlier. It still bothered me as to why they rented an entire cabin for 250 dollars a night if they just planned to sleep outside. And, while Jake said that it was a precaution in case it rained, what idiot didn't check the weather forecast before deciding to go camping?
In the middle of all the tents lied a fire with logs (I'm guessing our 'seats') surrounding it. It was dim but Jake lit it so that was understandable. He liked to play tough but we all knew he was a mall-going city boy. No matter the lack of deodorant he decided to put on today for that "authentic manly aroma".
"Okay," Jake exhaled, sitting down on one of the logs before looking up at Russo and patting the spot next to him. "This," he began as he threw an arm around his Asian companion once he arrived, "Is the Secret Circle."
Abby snorted, "Isn't that some cancelled Charmed rip-off on the CW?"
"Oh put a boob in it Abby." Jake retorted, rolling his eyes.
Tanya smirked and dragged Abby to the logs next to Jake, pulling her down into her lap. "Or better yet; put two."
"As much as I like seeing girl on girl action ladies, let's get serious for a moment." Jake chimed in, taking Abby off of Tanya's lap and placing her on her own individual log. He looked around, "Where's Suzy?"
"She's getting the marshmallows." Abby responded before leaning against Tanya.
"And here they are." The female in question said after making her way passed both Ethan and I and to her seat next to Russo.
Ethan sighed and sat down on the log closest to where we stood. And just as I thought I'd have to find another place to sit, he offered a hand and pulled me down next to him.
"Okay, so here are the rules of the secret circle. We go in clockwise rotation and reveal one secret that no one here knows."
"One problem, dunderhead." Abby snorted, "Minus Suzy and Tanya, we know everything about one another. If one of us doesn't know it, odds are another does."
Jake thought for a second. "Fine." He huffed, "Then, when your name comes up, you tell one person here a secret that they don't know about you and you've always wanted to tell them." Jake looked over to me and that light bulb went off in my head on what he was trying to do. "That way, if things get nasty, we're all here for one another." he kept his eyes on me and smiled dimly enough for Ethan not to catch on.
I nodded stiffly and felt the overbearing need to relax onto Ethan but refrained from doing so. He had been deathly silent since we got to the bonfire and would not stop nervously playing with his fingers.
Jake clapped his hands together. "Okay, Ethan's first."
Ethan rolled his eyes, "Fine." He huffed, "Russo, I never told you this but...I think you're Asian."
We all gasped and Russo allowed his head to fall into his lap. "You guys are jerks."
Ethan finally showed signs of himself and smirked at Russ's expense; even throwing Jake an "air high six" (something about adding an extra finger because it was that awesome).
And so we went around the horn dispensing secrets; odd secrets and I admit to stop paying attention somewhere between Russo's confession that the found Jake's mom oddly attractive, the subsequent scuffle that followed and all hugging and I'm sorrys that succeeded both.
Thoughts of what I was going to say engulfed me. Was I going to tell Ethan that I was moving now? In front of his closest friends and strangers? Was it going to humiliate him or would he just be happy that I had the balls to say it? Was it private or should it have been public? Should I wait when we were alone or should I just get it -
"Spencer."
Jake's voice knocked me clear out of my rapid-fire thoughts and back into reality. Only to find the entire camp of friends staring at me; some worried, others confused.
"It's your turn." He mumbled, taking a swift glance at Ethan. And though I could see the boy at the very nook and cranny of what my eyes allowed me to see from the side, I didn't dare look at him.
It felt like hours since it was my turn to speak but I found no words. I could've just made up some idiot story but I decided that chickening out wasn't an option. But telling Ethan what was going on wasn't exactly any easier either.
"You don't have to if you don't want to." Abby spoke up. "I think we'll all understand...if it's personal and you want to tell it to that person...alone."
Crickets could be heard after she spoke. Actual Crickets. My entire skin crawled to reference how ironic that was but in this thick and awkward atmosphere, it was probably best if I saved it for later.
When this entire thing was just one big funny memory.
There was only one way to diffuse it and that was to tell the truth. "Ethan," Not matter who it hurt. "I'm moving..." Including Ethan. "...to New York."
And myself.
I still couldn't see Ethan's face to tell how he was reacting to what I said but I could clearly hear a quick and loud thumping coming from his direction. And though whether or not it was his heart that was so loudly banging, the looks of sorrow from the others in his direction was more probably more telling than looking him directly in the eyes.
"We should probably give you two some time to talk." Abby whispered and the others obliged; picking up what they brought with them and heading inside the cabin, leaving the tents they spent the day setting up unattended and unfilled.
Strangely, the awkward tension seemingly increased once they left and just the two of us sat there – side by side and barely touching – in the quiet night with just the sound of harsh breathing and quickened heart beats breaking the constant sounds of nearby forest animals.
"When?"
I sighed internally. I was just beginning to get used to the silence. "January 2nd."
"No." he muttered, head facing down in between his legs, "When did you first know you were moving?"
I sighed. This time I let it out so he could hear. "The night you were in the hospital."
"That was two weeks ago, Spence." He breathed. From the corner of my eyes, I saw him lift his head and look squarely over to me – hair in his face – and mouth curved down into a subtle frown. "Why did you wait so long to tell me?"
I still didn't dare look over. "You were in a hospital bed, Ethan."
"With a sprained ankle, not heart disease." He countered. "It wasn't as if I was dying and it would kill me to know. And what about the days after I got out of the hospital? Couldn't you have told me?"
My head snapped in his direction anger flaring in them and ready to berate him, but one look at all the genuine hurt and confusion in his own pair and it was enough to simmer – douse – whatever rage I had inside of me. "Could you tell me that you were moving?"
"Yes."
I scoffed and turned back to face the fire. "Yeah right, Ethan."
A rough hand gripped my chin and pulled my face over to him. "I would've, Haynes." He snapped. "You know why? Because despite your personal thoughts about how irresponsible I am, I actually learn from past experiences." He climbed closer. "I learned from that whole Austin situation and I'll never hide something as major from you ever again. I may still have my momentary slip ups but I would never lie or hold out such intense pieces of info from you again. It's called growing, Spencer."
"Ethan -"
"Let me finish." He snapped and waited for me to dial back. Which in all honestly, I did. It wasn't just scary to see him angry...it was oddly interesting to see him flare up at me...of all people. "You say that I need to grow up because I jumped off a peer with my friends when you can't even tell me that you're moving!?"
"You're yelling at me because I didn't want to pour salt on your cuts?!" I boomed as a rush of wind nearly knocked the both of us off of the log and managed to dim the fire. "You are wearing a cast, Littman; knowing in a few days as opposed to two weeks ago wouldn't make a difference and you know it!"
He laughed bitterly. "This is...amazing." He stood. "I'm taking the couch tonight."
"Please don't be overly dramatic." I murmured, looking up at him momentarily before rolling my eyes.
He looked down with this face that I could not explain or describe. One that I had never before seen on his face; especially not directed at me. "I'll stay on the couch. You can take the room."
I stared up at him – right into his glossy eyes and frowned. "You're not serious."
He emitted a sound somewhere between a snort and a short laugh. "I'll see you in the morning when we're ready to leave."
There was another huge rushing wind and a brazen and loud sound that followed it. But it wasn't the wind that made the sound. Just over us up ahead was a great ball of fire with a long tail streaking across the darkly lit sky.
Ethan had stopped walking and gazed up as it tore and ripped across the heavens, bringing a loud rushing wail with it. But as soon as the bright red ball of fire and ember was here...it was gone.
Another roaring wind swooped in. Only this time it managed to knock the fire out and left us there in the dark with just the stars lighting up our surroundings.
Ethan must have took that as his cue to leave. With just a few quick paces and the sound of twigs being snapped in half under his shoes, the boy had left me sitting there alone.
...Alone with just the stars and my aching heart.