Just Friends - Chapter 25: Chapter 25

Spencer's POV
"Breathe, Ethan! Slow breaths before your lungs implode from working overtime."
Somewhere in the mix of the chaos that erupted inside the dining room of my home, Ethan had scurried out into the dark night and started to do what I would expect him to. Act like a Drama Queen.
"How," he puffed, pacing back and forth on the front lawn, "can I breathe when I'm going to be married soon?" He cried, wheezing and coughing up his words while biting his nails.
I rolled my eyes. "Well, you did give me the Ring Pop..."
"Not funny!" he yelled and I found his abrasiveness quite hilarious. It kind of personified the absurdity of the entire situation.
"Oh, come one, Ethan." I laughed as he continued tripping over his shoe laces, "Same-sex marriage isn't even legal in Idaho."
He breathed as he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. "Well, that's good at least."
"Yeah," I muttered, "score one for inequality."
He scoffed. "You know what I mean, Spencer." He spat. "I just turned seventeen."
"We're not getting married, doofus." I fished my phone out of my pocket, "Mathew just saved my behind."
Ethan stopped and glared at me. "You call your dad coming at me with a spork and threatening to gut me like a turkey saved?" he shrieked. "All it did was decrease my life expectancy."
I raised a brow. "Someone's been paying attention in Economics class."
"Oh, quit your patronizing." He jeered and huffed, jogging out of the yard and onto the sidewalk.
I followed him, albeit at a much slower and calmer pace. "Where are you going?" I asked as he started sprinting (i.e. running for his life) down the street.
"For a walk!" he shouted back as he disappeared into the darkness.
First Mathew, now him. Something must be in the apple juice in this town because everyone has been overreacting to everything and I'm the only rational human left – seeing as I didn't drink it. I sighed and peered into the window that saw straight into the eye of the storm that was my dining room. Dad had gotten up and looked to be in a very passion fueled argument with Mr. Littman.
Mom was standing next to Mrs. Littman and looked closer to tears. Probably 'cause Mrs. Littman had one of mom's Wedding's For Moms magazines in her hands and looked like she was comparing the dress in the book with mom's figure. I couldn't really see anyone else thanks to the half cracked blinds.
And so, I was left alone with the whistling wind and the light of the moon caressing parts of my bare hands and maybe I would have stopped to look up at the full figured piece of rock and dust dangling in the cloudless sky if there wasn't so much going through my mind.
I turned on my phone and dialed Mathew's number, knowing full aware that he wouldn't dare pick up once my number flashed a crossed his screen, but also fully aware that he'd, in some way, make it known that he knew this would happen.
You've reached Mathew Gonzales, I'm not near my phone right now so leave a message after the beep...except you Spencer, I'm sure, considering tonight's events, you'd want to talk to me in person...oh, and congratulations.
Beep.
I sighed. I still couldn't believe I allowed Mathew to pull a fast one over on me. Even more so, I couldn't believe that that fast one might have just sealed the deal on me staying. And that got me thinking that maybe it wasn't a fast one at all.
"Spencer." My head snapped to the porch where Austin was standing, fiddling with his fingers. "Is Ethan okay?" he took a step down from the porch. "He didn't look so hot in there."
I waved him off and stepped a few inches closer back onto the green, lush grass. "He'll be alright," I chuckled, if not just to break the awkward tension, because let's face it, Aussie – Austin – was at one time in love with Ethan (and may very will still be) "he's just in a little shock is all."
"That's, uh, kind of the thing." Austin mumbled, stepping from the shade and into the moonlit open area. And I saw something in his eyes that I hadn't been able to see inside. He looked tired. And it was only amplified by the revealing, bright touch of the moon's glow. Today must have been hell for him. His parents finding out about the entire shenanigans involving Ethan, Piper and myself must have been one awkward breakfast discussion. "He proposed to you, but he fainted...why?"
"Austin, you seem like smart guy, getting into MIT and all," I answered, "I'm sure you can put two and two together."
He blinked. "I will...eventually."
"In the meantime, I think it's best if you leave." I looked toward the street, before turning back to give him a confused glint, "Where is your car?"
"Your dad told us to park it in the garage." He explained and I growled. He frowned. "Tell Ethan I'm really sorry about all of this."
"Will do." I replied and stopped him before he had the chance to go back for his family. "And Austin, after all you've been through, I think it's best that you don't use anybody. Especially innocent, naïve girls who can't tell when someone is passive aggressively complimenting her."
His mouth opened, but it fell to a close. "I'm not using her." He noted, "She makes me happy. It's just...hard to fully get over someone like Ethan, you know? He gets under your skin in the best way possible and then you just don't want to let him go."
I took a moment. "...I know."
Austin's eyes looked me over just barley before some knowing glint surfaced in them, though he didn't press any further. He turned and walked back inside. A few moments later, The Martins and Grace exited, all ignoring me as I waved at them from the grass. Except Piper; in her tall pumps and sparkling sapphire dress. She at least took the time to flash me a small grin.
Once their car left, another one pulled up. But, the black Altima was a familiar one and out stepped much more less imposing figures than the ones who left a minute ago. Jake pushed his keys in his pocket and as Suzy threw her purse back into the car.
I pressed my lips into a straight line when watching their interaction on Suzy's – the passenger's – side of the car. They were obviously nervous about something and were dressed in half casual – half formal clothing. Jake, in his white plane t-shirt with a black, unbuttoned vest covering it and pair of slick dark jeans was the first to step onto the grass with Suzy, in her red, sleeveless top and white pants not that far behind.
Before Jake got the chance to speak, a raised one, small and imposing finger. "Are you two having side adventures without us?"
Jake's eyes in a split of a second looked towards Suzy before reconnecting with mine. "Well, contrary to popular belief, we aren't just supporting characters in the saga that is Ethan & Spencer. We do have lives you know." He answered and I took that as a yes. "We...went out."
"As friends, of course." Suzy added and the atmosphere shifted. I could hear dishes being cleaned in my kitchen and that damn owl was hooting somewhere in the neighbor's tall oak tree.
"Of course." I replied. I pointed to the right of me. "He went that way. You better go check to see if he hasn't crawled up any trees." I said. Ethan had the uncanny ability to climb tress but, never could seem to get down. That left with him numerous bruises from either falling out of the tree or being dragged out.
Jake sighed and nodded, beginning his long and treacherous decent to finding Ethan somewhere along this street; assuming he wasn't half way across town already.
His absence gave me time to focus on Suzy. Her lips were pinned together in a neat straight line, but her eyes were pretty much cackling like a mad man. "I assume your night went far much better than mine has."
She shrugged her shoulders. "It's been...interesting."
"Are you and Jake together?"
She shook her head. "No. We just decided to go out and have a little fun seeing as our two besties were having a dinner date from hell. And since Abby is with her girlfriend and Russo is visiting his family in South Korea, we didn't really have anyone else to really spend time with."
"So, naturally you go to dinner."
"Drop the condescending tone." She muttered, rolling her eyes in discontent while I rolled mine in amusement. "The movie theater was full and he just got paid, so he treated me to dinner is all."
"You two got along?"
She scoffed. "Please. He's an over obsessive asshole. He didn't want to sit near the middle of the restaurant because he didn't want everyone to see what we were talking about." She huffed. "We got kicked out after we started arguing over what kind of bread we should get. So, we ended up on the park instead just sharing stories, some of which revolved around you and Ethan."
"So, basically, you're in love."
"Seems that way." She mumbled. "So, what was the bat signal for?"
"Oh, nothing." I muttered. "Just that I'm getting married."
Suzy blinked. "I wish I could say I didn't see this coming...I just thought it would be coming, I don't know, six or seven years into the future."
"Yeah well, looks like I'm going to be wedded in unholy matrimony." I chuckled.
"Okay." she laughed before clearing her throat. "In all seriousness, is this wedding actually happening?"
I scoffed. "Of course not. It's just a plan to make my dad make me stay...and by the look on his face, I think I am."
Suzy smiled and came to the side of me, tiptoed just as bit to wrap an arm around my neck. I bent down slightly so it wouldn't make it too much of a task for her. "So, how should we celebrate?"
"I wouldn't do that just yet." I span around, unintentionally swinging Suzy around with me. A faint squeak exited her but she recovers quickly and fold her hands cross her chest once she sees Dad standing under the porch. "Miss Suzy," dad grinned, "long time no see. It's nice to see you after all these years."
"I wish I could say that same, Mr. Haynes." Suzy bit back.
Dad chuckled. "Despite what you may have heard from my son, I am not the Devil in this situation." He took a step down. "In fact, I'm going to show just how much a nice guy I am and grant Ethan's wish to marry my son."
Wait.
What.
I leaned in just a bit. "I'm sorry?" I questioned and dad smirked.
"I'm giving Ethan permission to take your hand. And, since you're the bottom in this relationship and you so love being politically incorrect, I'll even pay for the wedding and walk you down the aisle."
"Burn." Suzy mumbled and I had to knock her lightly in the rib to remind her that this was serious.
Or maybe not. He's bluffing. Hopefully. "I'm not backing down, Dad." I responded, folding my arms across my chest. "And as far as being politically incorrect goes, I'll take you a step further. I'll take his last name."
Dad frowned just slightly but regained his smirk. "I'll sign as the witness."
"I'll start calling churches now."
"No." I muttered. "I want a Bollywood themed marriage."
Dad frowned again, but that smirk didn't come running back this time. "I'm sorry?"
It was my turn to smirk. "I want a Bollywood styled wedding. Camels, shawls, the accents, the music, the whole 9."
He breathed out fire. "Fine, Spencer. By next week Saturday, you're going to be a Littman officially." He barked before storming back into the house, crashing the door closed with a thud.
It took a while for Suzy to ask the question that couldn't be avoided. "Soooo, is your dad racist ooor...?"
"Nah," I muttered as I sluggishly crossed the lawn to the porch and took a seat on the second stone step. "It's the opposite actually. When my dad first started teaching me about the maze-like cluster- fuck that is the female species – not offence," I muttered and she waved me off, "he told me about this girl he used to date. They met in high school, way before he met mom his third year of college, and she was really into Bollywood movies...and so she decided to plan a Bollywood styled wedding for whenever they got married some odd years later. My existence proves that never happened and he's been kind of bitter towards those kinds of films ever since."
"You guys...are weird people...with weird backgrounds." Suzy commented. "First that weird cat lady with the claws and now this."
"Hey," I muttered, somewhat offended "Aunt Gilda isn't weird."
"Her family portrait is with her cats."
"Okay," I exhaled, "maybe we're slightly weird but, the fact of the matter is my dad is obviously bluffing. There's no way he'll let me do this, whether it be for real or not. There is no way he's going to sit in the front of a church and watch me get fake-married to Ethan."
I was wrong. Boy, I was wrong.
The following day, Dad did something I didn't anticipate; he actually called relatives and told them the joyous news. Spencer was getting married next week Saturday at the Wide Open. It was the biggest building in town; large enough to be seen from any distance within the town limits of Pleasant Acres.
He hired a wedding planner to plan everything to perfection and hired caterers and called for flower arrangements and I was beginning to question whether or not he was actually bluffing, if not his sanity.
But I kept with it. And so did Ethan, knowing the price of either of us backed down. This was my final chance to stay here, or nothing else would work. I would have to go to NYC, and he'd get married before that happened he said. Although he was sweating when he said that and lost his ability to stand anytime the word matrimony was brought up. And to make matters worse, Mathew had somehow been slipping though my fingers all week. He claimed he was sick and didn't show up to any classes we were in together.
And then came Saturday morning. Everything was done and everyone who was coming was here, which wasn't a lot of people. It was some family members, most of whom knew what was going on and wanted to see the fireworks and try the fried chicken.
I had snuck away into my dressing room and got into my white linens for the occasion. I had stuck by the Bollywood theme if only just to see Dad's face when he saw me walking up the aisle.
"Mom?" I questioned taking my eyes off of the mirror and peering over to her. She stuck up one of her fingers at me as she continued to talk on the phone in her all black, and glimmering shawl. Her hair was neatly pinned up and her make-up was flawlessly done and heavy around her eye area. I could only guess why. Once she finally hung up the phone, she turned her attention, no matter how much she didn't want to, to me. "Is Dad actually going to allow this to happen?"
She nodded. "Unfortunately." She answered. "This wedding is happening, Spencer." She stepped closer. "Unless you end this childish game and come with us."
"No." I snapped. "He's bluffing, I know it." But my words would fold itself. The door opened and in walked someone I didn't expect. At all. I tiny gasped escaped me and mom peered over with knowing, worried eyes.
"Bluffing is he?" was all she said before she patted the Karla on the shoulder and exited, closing the door gently behind her.
I swallowed under Karla's intense stare. Her eyes were sharp and judging and I was legitimately afraid to speak. "Should I smack you now or smack you after your last name is Littman since then, at least your stupidity is justified." She wasn't dressed in a shawl. She opted instead for a simple gray gown.
"You don't know the entire story." I said and she scoffed immediately.
"Maybe because you haven't been telling me, and no excuses about how busy I am all the time." She barked. "I listen to every single voicemail I get and believe me, I would have returned this call." She wasn't finished. "Ethan is terrified out there Spencer. He's sweating bullets and is breathing irregularly. I know he wants to marry you someday but, perhaps under his own will."
"If I don't, I'm going to have to move to New York."
"Then go." I scoffed and opened my mouth to retort but she raised a single finger to quiet me. "You're hurting others, Spencer. It's time to stop acting like a spoiled child who is costing his parents money to get something he wants. Be a man, damn it and do what's right." After all of that, she smiled. "It's nice seeing you...in person." Her smile grew. "You've grown...hopefully in more ways than one." Was the last thing she added before she snuck back out of the room and left me to myself and my thoughts.
A few moments later, the door cracked opened again and in stepped the man of the hour. "Spence," Ethan called and I chose to look at him through the mirror instead of face to face for my own sake, "it's, uh, time."
Before he slipped out again, I called him out to him and his poked his head back in. "You do know that I'm doing this for us, right?"
He swallowed. "Yup."
I turned to meet his eyes. "And you do know that no matter what...I'll always love you." He opted to nod this time. "Because I do."
"You're starting to scare me, Spence." He said, sounding muffled even though his hands weren't blocking his lips and nothing stood between his voice and my ears. He looked worried and as if he didn't get any sleep at al last night. His twisting and turning in our bed kept me up half the night, but at least I got a few hours in.
I sighed. "I'm not going to marry you."
Silence.
"Okay."
"I'm," I sighed and he must've known what other words were coming next because he immediately tensed and frowned deeply. "I'm going to New York with my parents."
Silence.
"Okay."
The door closed back again and he had disappeared from sight. It took a few moments before I realized properly what I had done. And my heart was slowly reaching the point of fully collapsing in on itself within my chest like a star that has used up all its fuel and explodes. My hands were shaking, but not as much as they should've been, considering the current situation.
After a few moments just sitting there in my seat and thinking things over, I got up and exited the room and headed to the main part of the building.
The moment I opened up the white double doors lined with gold and silver, the entire room looked toward me. But, what I met was far more luxurious than even I had expected. Cloths, orange and red, swirled and twirled around the room, hanging from one another and creating several semicircles; draping from one point to the next.
I wanted to smile and look awe struck by the gorgeousness of the colors, the masterfulness of how they were hanged and interwoven or the beautiful music playing, but alas, I couldn't. Not even with all these people staring up at me from their seats on plush blue pillows.
Way to be stereotypical, dad. I thought to myself as I trudged up to the gazebo where he priest was, being careful to avoid every gaze. As expected, Ethan wasn't by there and the priest looked perplexed. He leaned in to ask me, but I waved him off before he got the chance. Instead, I turned to the crowd.
"There won't be a wedding today." Instantly, people began to whisper and talk. I trudged on anyway. "I've," I sighed, in defeat, "I've been a bit petulant these past few months. In fact," I chuckled, wincing as I heard it echo up and down the room, "I've been petulant most of my life. But," I looked at Karla who sat in the front row sitting in between Jake and Suzy, "I've been reminded that at some point, it's time for me to grow up. I've dealt my family a great deal of pain...and cost them a lot money it would seem." I muttered, trailing off as my eyes take in the sight of the room one last time before refocusing on my parents sitting in the front row. "But, it's time for me to be a man now and know when to fold my hand."
Mom smiled. Dad was unreadable.
"I want to stay in this town. With my friends and family...enemies and go to the same school, and drive the same road and kiss the same boy. Because, I like routine and structure and losing those things hurt more than anything. And the fear of never seeing or doing any of those things again...frightens me."
Mom was frowning. Dad as well.
"I was once told that hope is a human invention. That we...deceive ourselves that the things we want will happen...and that it's a loss cause to believe in want we want. B-but, I don't think that's right. To me, hope is all we have, really. All that I have at the moment. Why else would we stand in front of our closest friends and exchange words of love and admiration and rings and a kiss? We hope that this person upholds those vows and so you give them your heart and your soul...and your body and hope and pray they don't dismantle you."
Mom was frowning.
Dad's eyes were glittering.
"I could've gone through with this whole shenanigan that feels really sitcom-y to me to be honest, but, people have fought and died for the right to marry the one that they love and I feel as if we're toying with it...or undermining what they belied in because I didn't do this for the right reasons and ended up hurting someone who I care for more than anyone. Including myself." I breathed. Everyone was so deathly quiet and staring that it made me feel uncomfortable, because in reality, this isn't something I've never said to anyone before and I didn't really feel as though I'd ever repeat it. "So, I say instead of this being a marriage ceremony, why don't we just say this a farewell party for the Haynes'...with an odd and out of place Bollywood theme."
There were a few scattered chuckles, one noticeably coming from Mom. "Enjoy yourselves." I said, as I took my final step off of the little gazebo and exited.
By 9:pm, the party was still going on. Everyone was sharing humorous stories of my family under the large tent that was originally bought for the reception in the backyard of the Littman's. I decided to hug my knees near the steps of the back door and listen from there. At least I couldn't see the few people who were talking about me in their little factions and groups, but perhaps I deserved it.
I sighed heavily, allowing my head to drop into my lap a little further and did not budge when the glass door leading into the kitchen opened and closed. "You should try the cake."
"I'm not in the mood for chocolate right now."
Dad sighed and took a seat next to the right of me. I turned my head to the left. "I'm proud of you." He finally muttered and I snorted. "I really am, Spencer. That..., that speech was amazingly beautiful and heartwarming and...very real." He added, sounding muffled, just as Ethan did earlier. "And you brought up something that I was hoping you had forgotten. I didn't realize that you had taken the entire 'hope' saying about your goldfish and applied it to your entire life. Maybe that's why you're so cynical...maybe not, but the fact is that I shouldn't have said it."
"If this is how you apologize, you can keep it."
"You said I was apologizing?" he questioned and I spun my head towards him, if not only to show him the scowl on my face. He didn't budge. "If you think I'm going to say sorry for trying my best to get you to where you belong, then you are sadly mistaken." He paused, reaching out to touch my cheek but I rejected it. He placed that hand back into his lap neatly. "You are my son, Spencer. My youngest boy, my last child and you are – and I mean this – my everything."
I snorted. "I find that hard to believe."
"Do you?" he asked, rhetorically. "Because if I didn't care, don't you think I'd allow you to stay with Ethan, no questions asked? I've never been that great of a father. Work has kept me from being so and I failed – to an extent – with your brother. He's turning around but, those rough years in high school could have been avoided. I look at you and see a new start, a new beginning to get things right. And, I failed you a lot of the time. I thought I turned that around during our talk over your sexuality but, I was wrong."
"Did you really think being a decent human being really just undoes years of mistreatment. Treating me like some trophy to get ahead in your company?"
He shook his head. "No. But I thought it would be a great place to start. And then the opportunity of NYC came along and I saw it has the ultimate form of rebirth. New home, new city, new job. I was getting another chance to be a better husband, a better businessman and a better father. And you not being there stopped me from doing so and I would be damned before I allowed your perception of me in this town be the last thing you remember of me. I wanted – needed – you there so I could build a stronger and better relationship with you." He breathed, a bit shakily. "I just want a son that cares for me and one I care for." He reached out again to touch my cheek. I allowed him. "You are my little boy Spencer – Spence – and I need you there with me and your mother so that happens." He sighed. "I can only hope you understand."
I did. I hated absolutely hated it, but I did. I got up and he looked up and I looked down and we stared at one another for a moment. "I'm going to start packing my things up." I said in barley a whisper, delicate enough that it just scarcely made it to my ears. He nodded, stiffly with a frown as I entered the house.
I was about to move upstairs to the bedroom when I couldn't help but see a light down the hall. It was the kitchen and I wondered why anyone would be making ham sandwiches when cheesecake and ice-cream was outside.
I slowly walked to the door and only poked my head in before seeing Ethan huddled in one of the rotating chairs at the counter with his feet to his chest and spinning around slowly – pointlessly.
I knocked on the door and he stopped for a second before looking in my direction. I smiled at him, but was only met with juvenile scoffing and the rolling of darkly colored eyes. I slightly snickered at him hugging his knees so defeated-ly but made sure not to let him see. He wasn't in the best moods, understandably.
I walked into the room and took the chance of closing a few inches between us. "You know," I began because the eerie quietness was becoming too much for my ears, "I memorized my vows." I noted. "You know, just in case dad wasn't bluffing and I had to actually marry you."
"Congratulations." He spat, spinning in his chair again but being careful not to do so in my direction. "Would you like a cookie?"
"I would have to tweak it, considering the current circumstances, but I really want you to hear it."
He stopped spinning. "I don't want to hear your vows."
I cleared my throat. "Ethan Dean Littman."
"Stop." He barked.
"Who knew that two boys who just happened to get injured at the same birthday party would have ever ended up being so inseparable."
He swung his chair in my direction. "I said stop." He commanded, eyes narrow and lines etching themselves into his forehead.
I took another step forward. "But, we have. And we've been through a lot." He stood up and came at me, stomping his way over and I backed up just a bit but did my best to not let him physically impose his will. He stops in half an inch of my face; our nose touching ever so lightly and his breath hitting my Adam's apple, heatedly. "Puberty, girls...and then boys and each other. We've gone on adventures and laughed and cried and held each other...kissed each other, loved each other." Ethan grabbed a hold of my right wrist and squeezed it. Hard enough for me to wince. "I," I exhaled, "I will never forget any of the time we've spent together," he tightened it and his face twisted into a look of anger. "We are endgame, Ethan." I breathed, wincing from the pain. "I truly believe that, we will find each other again." He let me go. "Because we love each other and we're soul mates...and we're going to get married and have kids with ridiculous names."
"Shut up." He breathed but it fell to a whimper towards the end. His eyes were becoming cloudy and misty.
"It doesn't matter what happens right now, or in the next year...or ten. We may not see each other for years, but I believe we'll find each other again. And that's not fate or chance or any of that. It's hope." I finished and he didn't wait another second before slamming his body into mine. I was taken aback by the sudden weight, but caught myself before I tumbled over with him on top.
He latched on; his fingers had meshed with my clothing and his head was one with the crook of my neck. And in the midst of it all...... the laughing outside, the music playing, the beating of two hearts so in synch with one another it was supernaturally criminal, I could hear him softly say, in the tiniest of voices, "I love you. Don't go."