K-pop Idol Imagines - Chapter 71: Chapter 71

A cold breeze brushed my already numb skin as I put my hand in my blazer's inner pocket and took out the pack of cigarettes. I didn't use to smoke the week before. I used to hate its smell but now it calmed me.
It numbed all the pain that I was feeling in my heart.
I looked down the railing and saw the vehicles stuck in the heavy traffic at night. They were trying to honk their way out of it but it was useless. They all were trying to do the same thing at the same time. And from above, it felt suffocating to look at.
However, to me, this was how I was feeling inside.
I felt my phone buzzing in my pants pocket. I took it out and answered the call without looking.
"Y/N! Where are you? I tried to call you multiple times, "the voice echoed from the other side.
I tapped my cigarette to let go of the ashes as I replied, "Why are you looking for me, Key?"
"I need to talk to you, Y/N. This is about Taeyeon."
My heart sank deeper as I heard her name.
"What about her?" I asked, couldn't escape my curiosity.
"Where are you? I'll tell you in person, "Key said. He was always the stubborn one.
Like brother, like sister - cut from the same cloth, I thought as I shook my head. Sighing, I looked up at the sky with clouds. It looked like it was about to snow tonight.
"I'm at the rooftop, "I answered.
The phone call ended as I pocketed my phone and put the cigarette again in my mouth, inhaling deeply as the smoke reached my lungs. I exhaled it through my mouth, forming a smog in front of me. I stared at the traffic below, letting myself lean against the railing.
A sudden opening sound of the door indicated that Key was there. I knew it because no one knew the password besides me, Key, and... Taeyeon.
I turned around to see Key rushing up to me. He had this worried yet angry look on his face that I always found amusing. How could one make such a face?
"Since when did you start smoking?!" Key angrily said as he took the cigarette from my hand and threw it away.
I glanced at him before chuckling out loud. It was funny, funnier even. He cared about me, even though his sister just abandoned me like nothing a week ago. His sister whom I love more than I could say.
Whom I still love. So much that I felt like dying without her by my side.
"Since your sister left me without giving a reason, "I said, my voice lacking stability.
Key held me by my shoulder as he exhaled heavily. He gave me a once over before pulling me in for a hug that I needed for a long time. I haven't cried since that day, but now I felt like falling apart in his arms.
I held him tightly as I wailed against him. His hand came up and rested on my head, lightly caressing as he heard my silent complaints in the dead of a December night.
"It's okay. Cry it out, "Key said, his words comforting my broken heart a little.
I pulled away and wiped my tears. I looked at him and saw him giving me the smile that he always gave me ever since he started working with me.
"Aren't I lucky to have a secretary like you?" I said and we both shared a laugh.
Key patted my shoulder and then kept his hand on my head, replying, "And aren't I lucky to have a boss like you?"
I wiped the last tear that fell from my eye and sniffled lightly before looking at him straight in the eyes.
"What was that you wanted to say?" I asked, my heart started to beat fast as I knew the underlying topic of this conversation.
Taeyeon.
Key sighed as he looked up at the sky and said, "Let's go in first. You'll catch a cold like this."
I agreed with him as I nodded and followed him inside. We went down the stairs and through the elevator to my floor, where my office was. As I pushed open the mahogany door that had my name carved in it, I felt the warm air enveloping me. I heard Key, groaning with delight, and saying, "You're insane for going to the rooftop in this chilling winter."
I stifled a laugh and replied, "I thought it'd distract me from the pain that I was feeling inside."
I removed my blazer and kept it on the chair before joining Key on the couch. I sat opposite him and in front of the fireplace that I had in my office. I rubbed my hands together as the heat from the fireplace calmed my raging emotions.
"I wouldn't have gone on the vacation if you both would've decided to break up behind me, "Key said as he leaned forward to warm his hands.
"It was not your fault. It just... happened, "I said, my voice low as I tried to keep my emotions in check.
"It would've happened, sooner or later, "Key said and I looked up at him, confused.
"What do you mean 'sooner or later'? Did you know that she was about to break up with me?" I asked, questions overflowing my mind.
Key was silent as he stared at the burning fire, his eyes were looking distant and I was on the edge of the couch.
"Y/N, "Key finally spoke up as he looked at me, solemnly.
"Yeah?"
"Do you really love my sister?" He asked, genuinely.
I, clenching my fists, without hesitating, answered in a bittersweet tone, "Yeah. I still love her. So damn much that it breaks my heart every time I hear her name or think about her."
Key smiled and looked down at his interlocked hands before speaking, "Then I guess you should listen to a story."
I scrunched my eyebrows, "A story?"
"Yeah, a story. About my sister's past, "Key said.
I saw him taking a deep breath as he leaned back on the couch and stared at the fire before continuing, "When we were kids, our parents left us because they didn't have money to raise us. We were at an orphanage for a good 4 years. Taeyeon was only eleven-- and I, nine. One day, a couple came and adopted us. We both were happy, to have a house of our own and parents that loved us endlessly.
"Ten years later, our adoptive parents died in a car accident. That day, Taeyeon cried for a long time. We got the inheritance and insurance money that our parents left for us. Taeyeon provided for me as she worked part-time jobs and completed her education simultaneously. It was hard for her-- but she won't dare to speak a word to me about it.
"After a few years later, Taeyeon found herself a boyfriend. She met him at the library she was working at that time. She loved him dearly-- he was good to her. He'd take her out and would listen to her and take care of her. After a long time, Taeyeon was happy. But, then, I found him at a cafe near my college-- with another girl. I was afraid to tell Taeyeon, but she found out later on. And that time, she broke utterly-- inside.
My heart was crushed inside as I heard her past. She suffered so much; all alone. I began to understand why she was distancing herself from me. I bit my lower lip, trying to stop the tears from my eyes that were about to fall.
The woman I loved had to go through so much. I found myself yearning to be there with her. To love her so much that she'd forget about her hardships.
Key gave me a sad look with a sad smile as he said, "Taeyeon had lost everything she loved dearly. And now-- she's scared to open her heart for someone to come in just to leave her again. I've seen her, smiling as she talked about you, but I also get her. My sister has been through so much..."
I saw Key, breathing deeply as he wiped the tear that fell from his eye. I immediately stood; couldn't be able to see him like that and went over. I rested my hand on his shoulder and I gave it a reassuring squeeze.
He turned his head and looked at me with a solemn expression. "I believe in you, Y/N. I believe in your love. I think... I think that you'll be able to make my sister happy forever."
I smiled and nodded, replying, "I will. I will make your sister the happiest. I'll love her till my last breath."
Smiling broadly, Key pulled me in a hug. I patted his back as I stared up at the wall clock in my office. I couldn't delay it anymore. I decided to go to Taeyeon. I decided to convince her, even if it took hours, days, weeks, or years. I wanted to prove that she'd be loved; dearly.
I stepped on the gas pedal and weaved through the cars. My speed was a little over the limit but the lesser the distance got; the more I craved for her.
As soon as I reached her apartment complex, I parked my car outside in a hurry and rushed in. I went towards the elevator and clicked the button; impatiently to open the door, but it was taking forever.
I remembered that Taeyeon's apartment was on the 7th floor and the stairs were just right beside it. Waiting was taking longer, so I ditched the idea of an elevator and ran up the stairs; taking double steps at a time to reach early.
As soon as I reached her floor, I ran towards her apartment. I started ringing her bell continuously, hoping for her to open the door fast.
The distance between her and I have been for too long, and I couldn't let her past be the reason for our love to end like this.
I was panting with all my running up the stairs as I rested my hand on the wall beside the doorbell and waited. I pressed the button again, hoping for her to come out. It was around 11 at night-- maybe she was sleeping in.
Suddenly, I heard the muffled footsteps from the other side and heard the sound of the door unlocking. I stood up straight as my heart started to beat vigorously in my chest just at the mere thought of seeing her face at any second.
I saw the door opening and being pushed outwards as Taeyeon's face came to light. She was rubbing her eyes from sleep and my heart melted at the sight of her as I was on the verge of crying in front of her-- in happiness, of course.
Finally, when Taeyeon's eyes opened and she looked at me, her face turned into multiple expressions that described "shock" or "surprise".
"Hey, "I softly said, my voice trembling as I saw her looking at me for a good minute.
"W-What are you doing here, Y/N?" Taeyeon asked, bewildered.
I found myself smiling at her stuttering because I could see on her face that she was missing me, as much as I missed her. Her eyes met me and we shared a silent exchange of words. Intuitively, Taeyeon pushed the door apart for me to come in.
And as soon as I stepped into her warmly lit hallway, I found myself craving her more. She was someone I needed in my life like the oxygen to breathe. I stared at her for a long time, silently, as her eyes dodged mine, knowingly.
Again, I tried to test my luck, one last time, just to see if she really needed me like that too or not. So, I called her name, "Taeyeon."
Her head slowly lifted and her eyes met with mine. My heart was almost palpitating inside as I comprehended what her gaze meant-- it meant "scared". She was afraid, of her past and of the fear that I'd leave her.
In a second, without thinking twice, I pushed Taeyeon against the wall behind her as my body stood close to her. My lips were hovering above hers as my eyes were closed with anticipation. My hand was around her waist as other was on the wall-- to support me from falling on my knees.
I could feel Taeyeon staring at me, but she wasn't pushing me away. Her little hands were clutching onto my blazer's lapel as she pulled me closer. I could feel the need from her actions, the invitation to do something.
My lower lips trembled, almost unconsciously as I tried to touch them against hers. I could feel her breath on my face-- feeling familiar; like home. I knew mine was ragged and harsh due to waiting, the longing that I was creating between us. Neither of us wanted to make the first move, that was for sure.
But, it was killing me to keep myself any longer. My hand slipped from her waist to her arm and toward her neck. I caressed the feverish skin beneath my thumb as I felt Taeyeon's vein-- almost pumping hard like mine.
In a passionate frenzy, I pushed my lips against her as Taeyeon's met mine in the middle. I pulled her closer to me by her waist, but still made her against the wall as I kissed her with all of me. I felt her hands wrapping around my torso, holding me tightly and closer to her. In my mind, my only goal was to make her secure, however, the way she was making this tasteful sounds in the back of her throat had me throbbing inside.
I pulled away when breathing became an issue. I rested my forehead against hers in a sense of affection-- hoping to convey my message, my motto, and my feelings toward her. As I was about to open my eyes and pull myself away from her in the urge to talk, I felt her arms around my waist-- holding me back.
"Can we stay like this for a minute?" Taeyeon asked, her voice just merely audible above our frantic breathing.
I, without saying anything, pulled her in for a hug. A hug, that was much-needed after raising the adrenaline level so much. I caressed her hair as I hugged her closely. I felt Taeyeon snuggling her head deeper into my chest as I heard her sniffling in between.
"I'm sorry, "I heard Taeyeon's muffled apology.
Pulling away, I cupped her cheeks and wiped the tears that fell from her eyes as I questioned, "What for?"
Taeyeon looked down as she avoided my eyes and bit her lower lip before answering, "I'm sorry for breaking up with you. I... I was scared, Y/N. I still am. I'm sorry. It's just--"
"Shh! Don't say anything. I got you, "I said and hugged her one more time before taking her hand and leading her to the living room.
I made her sit on the couch as I poured her a glass of water. She hesitantly took the glass and finished it as I stayed on the floor; kneeling and catering to her needs. She deserved it.
She deserved all of it and I was ready to give it to her.
I rested my hand on her knee and caressed it in a motion of soothing. She put the glass away as she intertwined her hands in her lap and fidgeted as she inhaled and exhaled heavily. I could see she was struggling to say the words.
I could honestly understand her.
"Take it slowly. No need to hurry. I am here, "I said, at which she looked up and stared at my face for a few moments before sighing again.
I gave her knee a squeeze and nodded my head in a motion to provide her assurance that I was here to stay. Forever.
"Y/N, "Taeyeon spoke up.
"Yeah?"
She patted the spot beside her and said, "Come up."
I obliged and sat beside her, facing her as she turned to face me too. I carefully took her hand in mine and held it tight.
"I have been hurt before. Many times, "Taeyeon started. "I've been left behind and abandoned in my life before by the people I loved the most at that time."
I gulped the heaviness in my throat. Listening to the story from Taeyeon's perspective was harder than I thought it'd be.
"Every time it happened, I consoled myself. Saying that it was meant to be. I'd be okay. Something good is out there for me. However..." Taeyeon was crying at this point now.
But she still continued, "However, being left behind so many times... I became afraid. Afraid of people to let in here, "she rested her hand on her chest.
"I was scared that if the people I love would leave me again then I would suffer. So as a remedy... I left people myself when I realized that I started to like them or trust them too much or... love them, "As she said those words, she stared at me.
For some reason, her eyes were not of sorrow or scared. Her eyes expressed a twinkle of hope.
I opened my mouth as words formed in my head, straight from my heart, "I love you. I love you so much that if you'd tell me to leave I won't. Because... without you, I can't be me. You ruined me for anyone else, Taeyeon. I don't want anyone if it's not you. I promise to stay by your side. Forever."
This time, it was me crying. I couldn't help my tears from falling down freely. Everything I said was deep down what I think and more. The desperation in my words couldn't be expressed through mere sentences, but I was hoping that Taeyeon would get me.
And she did.
Taeyeon smiled, sincerely and rested her head on my shoulder as she hugged me tight. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder as I squeezed her frame slightly; basking in the feeling of love, in the feeling of Taeyeon again.
"I haven't recovered fully from the trauma yet, Y/N. But... I hope to do so with you, "she confessed.
"I will support you. We can do it together, "I said and felt Taeyeon's smile against my cheek.
For the first time in a while, things felt like going back to how it was and how it should be.
For the first time in a while, I felt like being at home.