K-pop Idol Imagines - Chapter 76: Chapter 76

Everything felt like background noise to me as my eyes tuned into the two figures— dancing happily in each other's arms as the music continued to flow through the air intricately. The night was shrouded in a thick blanket of darkness, with only the occasional burst of fireworks illuminating the sky.
All I could think of was the sting of pain it was causing me to look at them. I knew couldn't hide the very fact that I was frowning while looking at the screen in front of me and before anything else could take over my mind completely, I shouted.
"Cut!"
People turned around to look at me as a murmur started to go around in the crowd. They were wondering what made me shout out so loud, because— honestly, the shot was going wonderfully and this might be my first time letting my personal feelings into this— although, the whole crew didn't know that.
My assistant director came and whispered in my ear, "Ma'am? Was the shot not good? Do we reorganize the set—"
I lifted my hand and said, "It's quite alright, Eunju. I think we can continue."
Confused, Eunju signaled the crew to set up the scene again, and then the clapperboard snapped shut. The music started again, and it also started my feelings again.
Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair and then, closed my eyes— hoping that whatever I was feeling would wash away soon because this was going to cost me huge if I didn't stop now. Trying to regain my professional composure, I opened my eyes, stood up, and took my rightful place behind the camera— watching the scene unfolding through the lens.
Taeyeon danced with her arms around the male model and looked happy— maybe happier. Being her ex didn't make things easier though.
I could feel myself clenching my jaw— trying to hide the jealousy that burned in my chest— and grappled with my inner self to play the director for once, thinking of this as a nightmare and nothing more.
Because the way I was feeling was no one's fault— not even Taeyeon's. I was the one to be blamed for the furious and childish outrage that I was having in the middle of the job. As soon as the verse came to the end of the scene, I noticed the sudden stiffness of the male model, and it threw me off completely.
"CUT! Cut! What do you think you're doing?"
The whole crew startled around me as I outrageously pointed my finger at the man in Taeyeon's arms. He frowned as he stepped back from her embrace and bowed a bit in apology.
"I'm sorry. I thought I was being a bit over—"
"Who told you to decide on your own about how you act? It would be best if you did the way you were told. Understand?" I said, gritting through my teeth.
And certainly, I could feel Taeyeon's narrowed gaze on me as she frowned her eyebrows a bit— the one I was trying so hard to avoid.
The male model bowed and apologized to the whole crew before everyone got into their place again. I stepped behind and folded my arms as I stared at the screen. The male model was facing away from the camera— making Taeyeon look right at it.
And for some reason, her gaze had emotions that weren't needed in the scene— because she was looking at me through the lens. Her eyes showed a bit of baffledness and disappointment. Of course, she had every right to be disappointed. This was her most awaited comeback after a year and I— her literal ex— was directing the MV and was being nothing but an asshole.
Jeez, it felt awful by the passing minutes as her eyes stared at me.
Fortunately, the scene came to an end, and so was the shoot. I stood up and clapped for the hard work of the crew— despite my shitty behavior— and said with gratefulness.
"Thank you for your hard work, everyone. I know I was being difficult, but you all still did the best. Thank you very much and apologies for my behavior."
As I bowed, people around me denied humbly and clapped in return for my hard work too. Fortunately, I caught up with the male model and apologized to him too— because who knew we might work together in the future again.
While the crew was packing up, I let out a sigh of relief and retrieved to my cabin in the studio. Hoping to get some peace of mind and set things in perspective. As soon as I sat down in my chair, I heard a faint knock on my door.
"Come in, please, "I said, not opening my eyes due to the tiredness I was feeling— mentally and physically.
However, the next few things were not the ones I imagined to happen.
"Y/N?" I heard the voice that I had heard all day long on the set yet still felt my heart lurching in my chest.
Suddenly, I opened my eyes and carefully stood up. Taeyeon stood only a few feet away from me, her eyes locked onto mine. Making me feel the apprehension in her expression.
"O-Oh, Taeyeon. Did you want anything from me?" I asked, wincing as to how tiny my voice sounded— despite earlier.
Taeyeon gently shook her head and said, "No... just wanted to thank you for your hard work on the MV. It means a lot."
I felt my heart sink and my shoulders slump in disappointment as I forced a smile, trying to hide the pain that threatened to consume me, but nodded nonetheless, looking away from her, and replied, "It was nothing, Taeyeon. You were the one who did all the hard work. Thank you for making it easier for me to do my work."
With a brief pause as my emotions overwhelmed me, I said, "You... You are the best."
I was seriously hoping not to show much of my expressions in front of her. Despite our history, she was a force to be reckoned with, her talent and determination shining through in everything she did and she deserved better than me. Someone who would complete her and make her better, not bring her down.
"You know I can see through you, right?" Taeyeon said, out of nowhere, surprising me as I looked at her with a wide-eyed expression.
She took a small step forward as I tightened the fists beside me and looked away, saying, "I-I don't know what you mean, Taeyeon. I think you should go—"
"No, I'm not going anywhere, Y/N. Not before you listen to me, "she said, firmly so, her expressions determined.
I took in a big breath ran my hand on my face and said, "Taeyeon, I... You should not be here. This is not right."
"Then tell me what is right! Because the last we were like this we never saw each other again for a year, "Taeyeon's words pierced my heart.
She was right and to think about it, I still remember that day vividly.
It was last year around the same time of the year. I was getting busy with my upcoming projects and got home very late almost every day. However, as soon as I stepped into- our shared apartment at that time- I always saw Taeyeon sleeping on the couch, the TV on, and her hand holding onto the remote.
She would wait for me every night.
For a few weeks, it was adorable of her to do so, but eventually, things started heating up. Taeyeon started to get upset and she wouldn't wait for me on the couch. We'd fight over text and would rarely see each other. This was the start of the very distance between us.
Gradually, whenever we saw each other, we ended up fighting as to how we couldn't give each other our time of the day.
But, one day, this went over.
It was one of those rare days when Taeyeon got to wrap up her things early in the day. When she arrived at our apartment, I was already there, enjoying my free day.
Hoping to make the most of our time together, she sidled next to me on the couch and smiled, her arm wrapped around my shoulder.
"How are you doing, my love?" she asked with a warm smile.
However, my response was a harsh sigh and a monotonic, "Hey, I'm good."
The nature of my answer seemed to irk her, but she controlled herself and smiled back, saying, "That's good to know."
An uncomfortable silence followed as she didn't know what to say or do next. I was busy looking through my phone, and she, embarrassedly, removed the arm that was draped around me. I could tell she missed the warmth of my presence next to her
Abruptly, I stood up and made my way to my room, never minding the presence of Taeyeon.
And that was it, she stood up and shouted at me like I never heard before.
"Are you seriously that busy, or are you just faking it?"
I turned around with utter surprise and asked, "What do you-"
Taeyeon, furious, stepped forward and said, "I'm here trying to spend some time we've been missing out on, but you're so caught up that you won't even look at your girlfriend for a second!"
Fury boiled in me as I looked at her with the matching rage of mine, saying, "Taeyeon, I get you want time, but I need some for myself too. It's been forever since I had a break. Can't you see that?!"
Tears shone through Taeyeon's eyes as my heart suddenly ached, but my anger was way higher at that point to notice the harshness of my tone and words.
"You're not the only one with a job, you know? I've been working all day too. When I finally got to see you, I thought we could have a normal day like we used to. But no, you act like I'm a stranger. It's tearing me apart, Y/N. This isn't you; it's not us."
Somehow, her words seemed to overwhelm me at the moment as I could feel my throat working rapidly. I blinked fast to prevent tears from forming in my eyes as I clenched my fists and said, "I... I know, Taeyeon. But... I..."
Words couldn't find me. Everything I would have said would have felt like an excuse. Because it was my fault. It was me who drove us apart.
It was me who made her cry.
That was the last day I saw Taeyeon with tears in her eyes and since that day, I've been harshly regretting every decision I made that put us in a position like this.
Tears pricked my eyes as I stared in utter love that I still had in me for her. It had been a year, but I couldn't forget her. She was my person. She was the one who made me want to do better and be a better version of myself.
She was the one who made me realize the importance of hard work and dedication.
Before she was my girlfriend, she was a person I respected the most. And that made it hurt even more. The fact that I was the one who disrespected her was just unbearable to me.
Taeyeon stepped forward, her hand reached for mine. But, I pulled away with a shake of my head.
"N-No, we can't, Taeyeon. I can't do this to you anymore. You deserve someone who respects and treats you like you should be. I don't deserve you, "I said, my voice trembling like my whole self.
But, in that instant, Taeyeon's hands were cupping my cheeks and she tilted my face down to look in her eyes. And immediately, my breath was taken away by the intensity of emotions that were present in her eyes.
I could feel Taeyeon's fast-beating heart against my chest as her face was just inches away from mine; making me reel into dizziness.
"Taeyeon..."
"If I'm not the one who deserves you, Y/N, then I don't know who does," Taeyeon confessed, her voice carrying a raw intensity. "I still love you just as much as I did back then. Yeah, we hit a rough patch, and I know I played my part in the mess we became. But, damn it, there hasn't been a single day where you weren't on my mind."
I was officially speechless. My eyes never wavered from hers as we shared deep, meaningful eye contact. Something inside me that was building was set alight like a fire. My hands on their own accord came to wrap themselves around her waist and pulled her snugly close as the inevitable happened.
We kissed.
The tears that were filling up in my eyes fell through as I kissed her with all of me. Her lips felt like home as I pulled her impossibly close to me. Her body fit right with mine-- like puzzle pieces that were always meant to be.
Taeyeon's arms came to wrap themselves around my torso as mine went to her nape, tangling my fingers through her hair. Her head tilted as she deepened the kiss and I felt my knees buckle at that.
This was new for me from Taeyeon. And I loved that.
I pulled apart in terms of taking a breath, but as soon as my eyes met with Taeyeon's, naturally, I pushed her against the wall on my side and latched my lips onto hers. She let out a small whimper as her hands clenched my shirt in her hands, pulling me closer.
Eventually, we pulled apart. Touching my forehead against hers, I bathed in the warmth of hers. The feeling of feeling her again.
The feeling of home with her.
As soon as the adrenaline wore off, a sudden comfortable awkwardness crept upon us as we stepped away, not daring to look at each other after... what just happened.
Feeling my palms sweaty, I wiped them off my pants as I cleared my throat and started, "So... um..."
Taeyeon added, "Yeah, um... I..."
At that moment, we shared a look and then burst into inevitable laughter. It somehow felt like those times when we first kissed and started dating freshly. The tingling feeling and the shyness after intimate moments.
It all felt nostalgic.
"So, that happened, huh?" I asked, a smile never leaving my face.
Taeyeon was the same too. She tried hard to hide her smile as she looked down on the floor and nodded, saying, "Yeah, it did."
I bit my lower lip, stopping myself from smiling too much as I scratched the back of my neck and looked again back at her, but this time she was already looking at me.
However, there was a smile on her face. A warm smile that she always used to give me, displaying her love for me. I stepped forward as the seriousness suddenly settled in me. Taking her hands in my hand, I caressed them.
"I've never forgiven myself for acting like that with you, Taeyeon. I was never able to. Every day I regretted treating you like that. I hated myself for it. I hated the fact that I failed to recognize your worth in my life, "I said, my voice low with disappointment.
Taeyeon squeezed my hand as she shook her head in a way of saying for me not to feel like that.
Sniffling loudly I blinked fast to stop the tears from spilling from my eyes and said, "But, this time, I won't make the same mistake again. I'll treat you right. Like you deserve. I would love you with all of my heart and I swear that I won't neglect you. Ever in my life again. If..."
I looked at her with determination and continued, "If you'd give me another chance, I'd make it right this time."
Taeyeon carefully stared at me, her eyes trailing my face as if remembering me. Tears that were in her eyes spilled out as she nodded and said, "I'd love to see us together again, Y/N... I'd love to give us another chance."
Breathlessly at her words, I pulled her in for a hug. A tight hug that meant beyond words.