Kenopsia - Chapter 67: Chapter 67

How did I end up in this situation?
Better question is why I ended up like this.
I should know better then this....
And yet....
Human nature triumph's over logic.
I don't know how to fix the mess I made and honestly, it had been a few days since we last talked, Jasmine and I.
We would work together when needed but she didn't exchange much with me, not even her stupid jokes that I actually miss, she was talking to me after all.
"Yes but lets come back before nightfall." I told her, lowering her down the outside of the wall, she wanted to get new clothes again and I guess I was willing to risk letting her out a few hours before nightfall, I was going to go to the mall anyway so maybe this can fix our relationship a bit?
"Yeah whatever." She calmly said without looking at me, walking ahead, I followed suit.
I never wanted another person to look after, I never wanted to need to be a mentor figure in this hell.... But humans are not meant to be alone.... I called a pair of fish Jesse and James.... A fucking plant Jeremy....
Humans are social animals and even if we deserve to die out it can't be me to bring justice, I cannot drive humanity to its death even if I was given the chose, I cannot die just yet.
I let left her on her own with instructions to not leave the clothing store part of it, we had gone to the biiiiig mall on the north side of the city.
I went to the garden section of it, it had many useful things, more corrugated metal sheets, garden wires or tough garden gloves, I'll need many of these things to secure more parts of the city.
"Maybe.... One day I will have this whole city secured." I said, imagining being able to walk somewhere without meeting a husk along the way.
But that fantasy was already stabbed through with logic: I couldn't make a simple fence, what if that one failed? I need to make many and sector off parts. How long would that even take? Years probably. But I am not alone. And am I willing to ask for help? Many could die. Hoards could come. construction materials could run out. Would I need to travel towns over to find material and risk so much for so little?
"This is so hard." I sighed, wishing life would get easier for one day.
I grabbed the still sealed packets of seeds I found and just filling my bag with as much as I could before grabbing a shopping basket and putting more seeds in.
I know I have that wheat forest near town but I still worry about fires to it with the towns around it without upkeep, even that field will need to be partially cut over a few days to be sure if it does burn that the fire could never reach my city as once a fire starts who the hell would I stop it?
I put another little trowel in the basket, I have one at home but I guess I misplaced it somewhere.
I was thinking since mini-park had the chickens in it I should use part of tall-park to grow crops, what I grow on the school's roof will never be enough.
Chickens eat many stuff, for now I am feeding them a few of those edible mushrooms and plant scraps, I hope they will fatten up a bit, I've not been taking the few eggs I spotted away, wanting the chicks to hatch and grow to have a few more.
God my head hurts with how much of a hassle this all is.... Yet I would never stop doing it for anything, gives me a reason to live.
"Jasmine!!" I called into the clothing store for the third time and finally got an answer tho not from where I wanted.
Someone, probably her, yelled at me.... From far enough that I barely could make it out.... The clothing store is not that long.
I basically power marched following the sound until I was close enough to finally distinguish word and not just a mess of screams.
And one of the sentences I heard didn't reassure me.... It was 'ugly ass-face munchy bastard'.
I dropped the basket, the plastic of it cracked from how old and not maintained it was and ran, who knows what sort of husk it is if she is having trouble with it?
I rounded the corned.
"Fucking Type-C." I growled out, the husk I only saw one off previously and in a museum, damn if I had that short sword on me today, I need to stab the idiot through the face.
Jasmine was smaller then me and when I was faced with this husk I had to sprint and it was still on my tail and if I had trouble she had a whole mess.
She had flipped a shopping cart over herself and with the husk against it it was pressed against the wall, the stupid husk itself was what kept its little arms from being able to flip it over as it tried, it was literally breaking its fingers and fists against it as it swung down at the metal.
"GO AWAY YOU SACK OF NUTS!!" She yelled, clearly not aware this husk type had better hearing them most, it was a surprise for me too the first time, along with its strong skull. "Andie!!"
"WAIT NO!!" I yelled, as she saw me, she pushed out from under the cart but with the husks weight it trapped her as it pressed on it, pressing hard on her upper back.
Well to hell with any plan, I shoulder checked the husk away, ramming half of the cart in my own ribs to do so and yanking it back over her body despite the scratch I must have left doing so if the yelp meant anything.
Moments later, as I turned the husk decided to like.... Learn wrestling or something because I got shoved back and we feel, with it on top.
Now of all times had I given up on my fucking logic?! Andie you are stupid!!
I held the thing by its shoulders, watching its mangled hands still grab at me and its disgusting drool drip on my neck, toooooo close!!
I couldn't reach down for my knife, I'd need to let go, but if I don't the more time goes by when it can scratch me, but if I do I could get bitten.
Since the thing wasn't a human and wouldn't work on trapping me maybe me legs?
I planted my feet flat and pushed my hips to the side, it did fall but not far enough, I jerked my head back as it almost bite my face, rolling but not getting one quarter of a turn as I hit the cart.
I pulled the gun out with haste and just shot over my shoulder, turning my head to see when I shot the second, logically unnecessarily but emotionally needed unloading of the whole bullet clip into the head of the husk soon followed me having visual contact with my target.
I sat up, leaning against the cart, the fact she was trapped because of me not currently my priority.
It had been quite a while since my hands had been shaking from pure adrenaline, it was not even fear, at least not for my own well being, just pure adrenaline of a life or death fight.... The only entertainment these days, I'd say a few more adrenaline junkies survived the Great Silence's start then normal people, used to dealing with stressful situations.
"You good?" I heard her little voice. "What was that?"
"I'm fine.... That's a Type-C husk or a Brute as I also called them tho I called them Type-C more, strong head but butter-strong face, blind but gooood hearing and fast, weak legs tho so if they trip while running they could break tho it is only assuming, this is the second I ever met.... Come on, lets go home."
"That was scary." She stood when I did, back against the cart until I flipped it off her.
"This world is scary, I have my rules to make it less. If you want to learn to live in this world then learn my rules and tricks, then maybe it will get a bit nicer again." I picked up the cracked basket. "Got it? I have experience in this world while, despite living in nature with your father, he sheltered you from it until he died to it. I pushed through many times I could have and wanted to die, pushing through willingly or not doesn't matter all that does is that I am still here to help you learn.... So damn learn, because this world is not nice."
"Wow." Her eyes sparkled with amazement and I just sighed, at least she is back.
"Lets just go home, the sun will set soon."
"Sure."
I sat awake in the office-bedroom, back against the wall, we really need a mattress in here since there is little to no place on the couch.
It was dark, with the sheet covering the window rolled down no light could come in, it started to rain so I didn't want lightning flashes to wake us up, maybe we could sleep through the thunder but nowadays when the sun rose and light filtered through it was enough to wake me up, ready for another hell of a day.
I held the alligator in my lap, Whiskers having chosen to sleep on the headrest of the couch, I heard him purring from here.
I held it up, I was hit by a wave of sadness and hugged it, thinking of my three companions I lost in a few days, one after the other, Hope, Vic, dad.... And everyone else that died around me and I remember with that memorial...
I looked at around where Jasmine's head should be in relation to her height and the couch part my leg was resting up on, uncomfortable? Yes. Feeling that the child was near and didn't vanish for some unexplained reason? Also yes.... A bit paranoiac after what happened okay?
I chuckled, I am talking to myself like a Youtuber would, as if I had an audience to talk too.... How sad is it? Talking to and asking question and answers from people that don't exist just to feel less alone...  Woooo...
I held the alligator away, patting its head before reaching out, gently feeling the child's arms and sliding the plush in her arms.
"I promise you." I whispered, gently squeezing her hand. "From the bottom of my heart.... That you will never need to add my name on that wall for as long as we are together in this.... I promise Jasmine.... We will never ever be alone again...."
I almost felt like a weight was off my shoulders, it felt odd but quite pleasant you know? as if years of pain went away and I guess it seemed to just be that that vanished, a pain I felt even when I was with my previous people.... The pain of fearing being abandoned if they had the chance to go on.... I guess I always felt it even if they were here and alive at the time.... Humans are weird.... Very, very weird.... But it is quite lovely huh? It quite it.
And a heavy but serene silence covered the room.
The promise blooming like a flower.
A reason to live.