Kurapika x Reader One-Shot Collection - Chapter 36: Chapter 36

(Y/N), the sun is shining brighter than ever today. As you stand in front of me, I can't help but think how lucky I am to have found you. Not only did I find you, I somehow managed to get you to marry me. I promise to be with you always. I will love and cherish you no matter how far my hunting missions take me. I will be in your heart and you will be protected in mine. I promise to be a faithful husband, to take care of you when you're sick, and to love you no matter what circumstances we face.
The wedding vows Kurapika wrote me three years ago fall out of our wedding album while I dust the mantel. I can't help but smile as I read them. We're past our honeymoon phase, and I swear I love him more today than I did on our wedding day. I'm not saying our marriage is perfect. We have our fair share of disagreements. However, as I read his vows, I'm reminded of why I fell in love with him in the first place.
I fell in love with Kurapika when I learned about his resolve. His determination to find his brethren's eyes is what captivated me. He didn't have time for love, yet he found me important enough to make time.
I let out a laugh as I think back on our first date. I could tell he was nervous. His hands were trembling so bad, he spilled a glass of wine all over my new dress. When he got up to find napkins, he bumped into a server and knocked down a tray full of food. He felt sure that would be our last date, but little did he know, I was already falling for him.
Maybe I'm being a little biased, but Kurapika is the most gorgeous man I've ever seen. His golden hair, the unique shape of his eyes, and a body that deserves to be sculpted into art, he is every woman's dream. I used to feel jealous when I caught other women glancing at him, but not anymore. I know he is mine and only has eyes for me. There's nothing he can do that would make me want to leave him. Nothing.
I carefully tuck his vows back inside the wedding album. I check the time. How can it be this late already? Kurapika is coming back home tonight from a long trip and I still have a lot of errands to run!
I drape his suits over my arm to take them to the dry cleaner. I empty his pockets, finding random items. One piece of paper catches my eye. I open the folded paper and notice it's a receipt from a jewelry store.
My eyes widen. "Sixty-thousand jenny!"
It's not my birthday or our anniversary so why would he be purchasing such an expensive piece of jewelry?
I grin from ear to ear. He must be planning something special for me. His trips have been getting longer and it feels like I barely get to see him. Maybe this is his way of making it up to me.
His missions get in the way of our love life, but I vowed to support him no matter what. I have to admit, it is a little frustrating to have a husband who works overseas a lot.
I sigh as I put away the receipt. At least he makes up for it when he's home.
Later that evening, I plate his dinner and keep it on the warmer. He should be home any minute now.
I run to our bedroom to light some candles. I quickly change into to the lingerie I bought on my way home. It's been a few weeks since we've made love, so I'm a little excited.
I go back to the living room to wait on the couch. I stare at the clock. Eight quickly turns to nine. Nine quickly turns to ten. Where is he?
I reach for my phone when I hear the door unlock. My heart skips a beat when I see Kurapika enter the house.
I run to him. "Darling! I've missed you so much. How was your trip?"
He takes off his shoes and hangs up his jacket. "Fine."
I tilt my head to the side. He's usually excited to see me after a long trip. He's probably exhausted. I can see it in his eyes.
"Well...I made you dinner. Have a seat and I'll serve it to you."
He looks at the kitchen. "I'm sorry. I already had dinner at the airport."
"Oh. That's okay. I'll get the water running for your bath."
"Thank you." He walks down the hall to the bathroom.
I stand in the foyer as I watch him. He didn't give me a kiss or notice what I'm wearing.
I shake my head. He's just tired. I'm sure he'll feel better after his bath.
After his bath, Kurapika walks into our bedroom wearing his pajama pants. His chest is bare and his hair is still wet. I wipe the drool away from my mouth when he makes eye contact with me.
"I thought you had everything laid out for me...I can't seem to find my pajama top."
I hop off the bed. "Sorry about that." I open the drawer and pull out his top. "Here you go."
He takes it from me and pulls it on. "Thank you."
I walk closer to him to see if he'll notice the lingerie I'm wearing.
He gives me a confused look. "Do you need something?"
The air supply to my lungs is cut off. "I...uh...no."
I turn around and crawl back into bed.
"(Y/N), I have something to tell you," Kurapika says with a serious tone in his voice.
This might be the moment...the moment he gives me my expensive present. I get on my knees and hold out my hands.
"(Y/N)?"
I close my eyes and giggle like a schoolgirl. "Yes?"
"What are you doing?"
"Don't you have something to give me?"
I feel his weight on the other side of the bed.
"No. I said I have something to tell you."
I open my eyes and put my hands down. "What is it?" I frown.
Kurapika lets out a deep breath. "I must return to work tomorrow."
"Already?"
"Yes. My boss wants to visit a museum across the country and I'm afraid I must accompany her."
"You're boss sure has been keeping you busy lately. Can't another bodyguard go in your place?"
He shakes his head. "I'm the leader. Everything falls on me." He stands up and grabs his suitcase. "Do you mind packing my bag for me? I hope you remembered to get my suits dry cleaned."
Hot tears well up in my eyes. "Am I your wife or your personal assistant?" I shout.
Kurapika jumps back. "(Y/N), why are you yelling at me? Know your place."
I jump up from the bed to grab his suitcase. I take out all his dirty clothes and replace them with clean ones. The tears I was forcing back eventually stream down my cheeks.
Kurapika turns off the bedside lamp, leaving me in the dark.
"Do you mind keeping the noise down? I need to be up early."
I zip his suitcase and push it against the wall with as much force as I can. I stomp over to the bed. After turning the light back on, I open the bedside table drawer to pull out the receipt I found.
"What's this?" I ask him.
He sits up, dangling his legs off the bed. He takes the receipt from me. I watch as his eyes widen.
"Where did you find this?"
"In your suit pocket."
Kurapika crumbles up the receipt and stands up. He closes the gap in between us and presses his lips against mine. I shudder beneath him, surprised to feel him kiss me.
He pulls away, caressing my cheek with the back of his hand. "(Y/N), I absolutely love the way you look tonight. This lingerie...is it new?" He cups one of my breasts in his hand.
"Y...yes."
He pulls down one of my straps. "Did you buy it for me?"
I slowly nod. "Uh...huh."
He kisses my shoulder. "I love it."
His lips meet mine again. It's been so long since we shared a kiss like this. I take my time exploring his mouth as if it's our first time. I briefly open my eyes to make sure this isn't a dream. I notice his eyes are squeezed shut.
He grabs my waist and gently places me on our bed. The candles I burned earlier are still lit. Our lips are interlocked as he runs his hand down my torso to my thigh. He lays my body down on the soft mattress. I spread my legs apart. He tickles the inside of my thigh.
He breaks our kiss. "You like that?"
I lock eyes with him. I give him a nod of approval.
He pulls down my lacy panties. My head falls back on the mattress when I feel his fingers touch my most intimate part.
"Oh...Kurapika," I moan.
"No. You're going to have to do better than that. I want to hear you scream my name."
I feel him spread my labia, exposing my clit. I feel his warm breath against my flesh. Seconds later, he presses his tongue against me, running it up and down my opening.
I suck in a breath of air. He explores the folds of my labia with his tongue, sucking and pressing. He dips his tongue inside of me, swirling it around, tasting me. I gasp when he pulls it out. I grasp his hair, desperately needing more.
"Patience, my love," he says.
He finds my clit again and begins to massage it with his thumb. My vision turns white when I feel him dip his tongue back inside of me.
"Kurapika!" I scream.
I feel his laugh vibrate throughout my body. "That's better."
He alternates between teasing me with tiny licks and diving back into my entrance. I raise my hips off the bed to grind myself against his face. He hangs my legs over his shoulders, massaging my thighs.
He pulls away. I lift my head up to look at him. A mischievous smile crosses his face as he watches me squirm beneath him.
"Please...don't stop," I beg. I need to feel his mouth against me.
He waits a few seconds before touching me with his tongue again. I grip the sheets as I moan louder. He licks me in a circular motion before pressing his tongue against my clit.
"Yes...right there...don't stop."
He continues to run his tongue over my sweet spot until I completely lose it. My body convulses as pleasure radiates throughout my entire body. I feel warm liquid gush out of me and onto his face. He slows his pace until my convulsions subside.
I fall down on the mattress, breathing heavily. I feel incredible. Where did he learn how to do that? He hardly ever gives me oral, saying it takes too much time. And when he does, it's never like this.
He opens my legs. He pushes himself inside my already wet entrance, interrupting my thoughts.
His thrusts are harder than I'm used to.
"Uh...that's too hard, Kurapika."
He doesn't listen as he continues to thrust even harder into me. I look at him and notice his eyes are closed again. He usually likes to keep them open when we make love.
"I'm close," he says. "Are you going to do that thing I like?"
What thing is he talking about?
Seconds later, I feel hot liquid all over my face.
"Open your mouth!" he demands.
I obey, allowing him to explode inside of my mouth.
His body jerks before he collapses on the bed.
I watch as he recovers. Is this the same Kurapika I married?
The next morning, I wake up alone. Kurapika's side of the bed is cold. I jolt up. He usually leaves me a love letter when he doesn't have the chance to say goodbye.
I glance at the bedside table. Nothing. Maybe he left it next to the coffee maker.
I pull on my robe and walk to the kitchen. I yawn as I flip on the light. There's no sign of a letter anywhere. Maybe he was in a hurry.
My heart sinks. I always look forward to his letters. I love rereading them while he's gone.
After brewing a pot of coffee, I walk to my bathroom. I sit on the toilet a little longer than usual. The area below my navel feels extremely sore. Kurapika really gave me a pounding last night.
I pass the pile of clothes I took out of Kurapika's suitcase and decide to go ahead and put them in the wash.
When I finally sit down with my cup of coffee, my mind wanders to Kurapika's bizarre behavior last night. He's usually excited to see me. I think about one of my favorite memories of him coming home after a long trip.
"Darling!" I ran up to Kurapika when I heard the front door open.
"My Heaven!" He opened his arms for me.
I jumped on him. He wrapped his arms around me and spun me around.
"I missed you so much." He gently placed me back on my feet. "I brought you back something."
"What did you bring me this time?"
Kurapika reached into his bag and pulled out a box of chocolates. "You must try these! The country I just visited had the most amazing chocolate."
I opened the beautifully detailed box. The smell of fresh chocolate filled my nose. I picked out a truffle and put it in my mouth.
My eyebrows raised as I allowed the chocolate to melt in my mouth. "Oh my goodness! It's the best chocolate I've ever tasted!"
"Hey, save some for me!"
Kurapika placed his hands over my cheeks and pressed his lips against mine. I opened my mouth, allowing him to taste the chocolate on my tongue. It was literally the sweetest kiss we've ever shared.
"I love you," he said.
"Show me." I brushed away the bangs over his eyes with my fingers.
I saw a glimmer of scarlet behind his black contact lenses.
We kissed all the way down the hallway leaving a trail of our clothes on the floor. He laid me down on our bed, finally breaking our kiss. He looked me up and down and smiled.
"I still can't believe you're actually mine." He ran his thumb over my lips. "I get to kiss these beautiful lips for the rest of my life." He nibbled on my lower lip.
I felt his erection against my already wet entrance. I opened my legs, welcoming him inside. He slowly pushed himself inside of me. I allowed a moan to escape my lips.
He didn't move. Instead, he looked directly into my eyes. "I wish this moment could last forever."
"Me, too," I said.
My memory is interrupted by the sound of the washing machine going off. I groan as I hop off the couch.
As I unload the washer, something heavy falls out. I reach down to inspect it. I furrow my brow as I look at the key. What's strange is the keychain around it. It's a Hello Kitty holding a heart. Why would Kurapika own a keychain like that? And what is this key for?
I stare at the keychain in my hand as I walk back to the living room. I slump down on the couch. I take my eyes off the keychain to look out the window. Kurapika is most likely on an airship right now without any phone service. It's not like he'd tell me anything. Hell...he didn't even tell me what that receipt was for. He simply dodged my question by eating me out.
Is this what our marriage has turned into? I keep telling myself he's too focused on work, but the truth is, I've felt a change in him a long time ago. The knots in my stomach multiply as I think about all the clues Kurapika left behind. Long, frequent trips with his boss, the receipt to the jewelry store, his strange behavior toward me last night, the rough sex, and now, the keychain.
Is he bored with me? I try my best to be a good wife. I hate his long trips, but I never complain. I make sure he is well fed and that his clothes are always clean and ready for his next mission.
I place my chin in between my thumb and index finger as I try to come up with an answer. Is he having an affair? No. Not Kurapika. He's the most honest person I know.
Who can I call? I know!
I frantically search for my phone. As soon as I unlock it, I make a phone call. It rings five times.
"Hello?"
"(Y/N)? How are you?" Melody asks me.
"I'm sorry to bother you at work, but I need your help."
"Oh...I'm not at work. Besides, you're never a bother. I love hearing your voice."
"So...you got out of the museum trip?" I ask her.
"Museum trip?"
"Yeah. Kurapika told me he had to accompany your boss to some museum."
I hear silence on Melody's end.
"Melody? Are you still there?"
"I'm here. It's just...there's no museum trip."
My heart rate accelerates. If there's no museum trip, then where is my husband?
"Melody..e to my house...now!"
"But..."
I end our call before she has the chance to think about it.
I pace the house while I wait for Melody to arrive. Why would Kurapika lie to me?
Thirty minutes later, I hear the doorbell. I answer it immediately.
Melody and I greet each other with a hug. I get right to business.
"So...where's my husband?"
A look of sadness crosses Melody's face. I can tell she doesn't want to answer my question.
I tell her about the clues Kurapika left behind.
"Look," I say. "I know you and Kurapika are close. But...I need to know. Is he having an affair?"
Melody doesn't make eye contact with me. I can tell she's holding back tears.
"Melody!"
"Let's sit down," she says.
We walk to the living room. I bite my lip as we sit down.
She takes a deep breath. "Have you met our boss?"
"Years ago...at the gala. Her name's Neon, right?"
"That's correct. Well...she's the type of person who gets whatever she wants. No matter who gets hurt or even killed in the process."
"She sounds horrible. Anyway, what does that have to do with Kurapika?"
Melody doesn't answer. Instead, she makes direct eye contact with me. The look in her eyes sends my heart directly to my stomach.
It takes me a minute to muster up the courage to ask Melody my next question.
"She wants Kurapika, doesn't she?"
Melody slowly nods her head.
My lower lip trembles. As soon as I feel Melody's arms wrap around me, I lose it.
"No," I scream, breathing ragged. "Kurapika...is...not...like...that."
Melody runs her hand up and down my back. "He's not. Or, at least, he wasn't. It took Neon almost a year to convince him."
"You knew...and you didn't tell me?"
"Kurapika told me he had everything under control."
"That bastard." I pull away from Melody, wiping the tears from my eyes with my hands. "I'll kill him."
She looks at me with concern in her eyes. "Don't be so hard on him. He's a man, after all."
"What the hell does that have to do with anything? You're telling me he's allowed to be unfaithful?" I grab her hand. "He made a vow to me, Melody. Please...don't excuse his behavior. You know what he's doing is wrong."
She looks away from me. "I know. I'm sorry."
"I have some questions to ask you." I take the Hello Kitty keychain out of my pocket. "What is this key for?"
Her eyes widen. "That's the key to Neon's bedroom." She shrugs her shoulders. "He is the leader. He needs that key in the event an emergency occurs."
I squeeze the key in my hand. "You're defending him again."
She waves her hands in front of me. "You're right...I'm sorry."
"Now...where are they?"
Her mouth part opens. "Uh..they're in the mansion. Kurapika gave us the week off per her order. None of the other guards know what's going on, only me. I'm pretty sure she sent that order to have time alone with Kurapika."
If my heart beats any faster, I swear it's going to burst out of my chest. "Melody, take me to the mansion."
She jumps back. "No...I can't do that."
I stand up from the couch. "Yes, you can." I walk to the front door.
She gets up and meets me at the door. "But...shouldn't you wait to hear it from Kurapika? He has the right to explain himself."
I shake my head. "No, Melody, he doesn't. He lost that right the moment he decided to have sex with another woman." I slide my shoes on. "Stop feeling sorry for him."
She hangs her head for a few seconds. She takes a deep breath and looks at me. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Yes. And don't worry...I'm not going to hurt anyone."
Melody walks me upstairs to her boss's bedroom. I pull the key out of my pocket. A mixture of emotions flows through me as I insert it into the lock. As angry as I feel right now, I still love Kurapika. I'm praying Melody and I are wrong about all of this.
She watches as I slowly turn the key. She places her hand on my arm. "Remember...if you catch them doing something, you'll never be able to unsee it."
"Trust me, I'm prepared."
"I'm right here if you need anything."
I nod.
I stare back at the door. How can one feel weak and strong at the same time? It's like something inside of me is keeping me from passing out.
I take a deep breath. I unlock the door and quietly enter the enormous bedroom. I close the door behind me before walking towards the center of the room. The curtains to the huge canopy bed are drawn closed. My knees start to shake when I hear voices. A knot forms in my stomach when I recognize one of them. Kurapika.
"Yes, Neon. You're perfect," he says.
"Tell me how beautiful I am," says Neon.
"You're stunning. I like the way your blue hair cascades down your back. And your eyes...they remind me of a forest of trees reflecting off a cloudless blue sky."
She giggles. It's the most annoying sound in the world.
"Am I prettier than your wife?" Neon asks Kurapika.
My heart skips a beat. I hold my breath as I wait for him to answer.
Seconds pass. They can probably hear the sound of my heart pounding.
"Neon...I'd like to get started, if you don't mind," Kurapika finally answers.
I let out the air my lungs were holding in. He dodged the question. But...what do I do now? Do I go ahead and confront him or wait to catch him in the act?
I must have been thinking too long because I can already hear them moaning. How can Kurapika stand the sound of her voice? I'd rather have someone drill a hole in my head. Her voice is so high-pitched, it's like listening to a piglet running away from a butcher.
Then I hear the sound of my husband's beautiful voice.
"Are you going to do that thing I like?" he asks her.
That's the same question he asked me.
"Only if you let me sit on your face," Neon says.
"That sounds fair," he says.
I just want to curl up into a ball and cry. The stabbing pain in my heart is unbearable. There's no way that's my Kurapika. It can't be.
"Yay! Let me just ride you for a few more minutes," says Neon in her irritating voice.
I can't tolerate this any longer. I grab the opening to the curtain at the foot of the bed. I remember what Melody told me before walking in. I mentally prepare myself for what I'm about to see.
A few breaths later, I open the curtain. The sight in front me is enough to convince me that there's no such thing as happily ever after. Kurapika's eyes are locked on Neon's while she rocks her hips back and forth on him. His hands rest on her breasts.
I clear my throat. "Miss Neon, you may now remove yourself from my husband's penis."
She twists her neck so fast, the scarlet pendant on her necklace hits her in the face. Most likely it's the necklace Kurapika bought from that expensive jewelry store.
Kurapika jolts up, pushing Neon off of him. His eyes double in size when he sees me.
"Hello, my darling husband." I smile at him. "What a nice perk to being a bodyguard." I scratch my head. "But...I'm a little confused. Are you actually working? I mean...I was able to sneak in easily. What if I was here to hurt your boss?" I shake my head and turn to face Neon. "I'd fire him immediately. He's not a good bodyguard, much less a leader."
They both stare at me. I honestly don't know how I'm able to speak right now.
"Kurapika," I say. "What do you think? Should you get fired?" I let out a fake laugh. "Oh...maybe she'll let you keep your job if you allow her to sit on your face. That sounds like a fair trade."
Both of their faces turn beet red.
I'm starting to feel weak. If I don't leave right now, I'm going to pass out.
"Well, sorry to disturb you. Will you be home tonight, Kurapika?" I throw the keychain at him.
He catches it and nods his head.
I spin around to leave. The door looks like it's a mile away. When I finally leave the room, I fall to the floor. Melody kneels beside me.
"Are you okay, (Y/N)?"
I try to catch my breath. "No...I'm...not...okay."
"Go home. I'll take over for Kurapika since there's no other guard here."
I wait until I'm able to breathe before answering. "Don't worry about it. I don't ever want to see him again."
Kurapika, I take you to be my husband with my whole heart. I promise to be faithful, supportive, and encourage you to be the best hunter in the world. Your goals are mine, and I promise to do whatever it takes to help you achieve them. I promise to love you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. You are the love of my life. I'm honored to be the one who gets to be your wife.
I crumble up the piece of paper in my hand. These vows are meaningless now. Kurapika broke his vows so there's no point in keeping mine around.
I roll my suitcase to the front door. I have no idea where I'm going, but I know I can't stay here.
Just as I'm about to grab my purse, the door opens. I turn around and see Kurapika walking in. I watch as he throws his bag down. He leans up against the door, covering his eyes with his hand.
I take a deep breath. As much as I wanted to avoid seeing him, I'm glad he's here. I need to get everything off my chest.
I stomp to the front door. He looks at me with misty eyes. Dark bags rest under them. The dark bags I once found adorable because they reminded me of his work ethic. Turns out, his work ethic consisted of screwing his boss.
He turns his head. His eyes land on the suitcase. He shakes his head.
"(Y/N), please. Don't leave me."
His words infuriate me.
"Don't leave you?" I suppress the urge to wrap my hands around his neck. "What were you expecting? Honestly...I want to know."
He closes his eyes. "I...I don't know."
I breathe in. Every breath comes with a stabbing pain in my heart.
I turn to walk toward the mantel. I reach up and pull down our wedding album. I take out the vows he wrote me. I hold back the tears that are threatening to stream down like waterfalls as I walk back to where he's standing. My hand involuntarily makes a fist. I punch him in the heart before throwing the broken vows at him.
He grabs his heart and leans forward, picking up the folded piece of paper. I watch as he reads them. Tears fill his eyes and he wipes them away with the sleeve of his jacket.
"(Y/N), I still mean every word."
I've never wanted to physically hurt anyone before; however, at this moment, I want to break every bone in this man's body.
"Really? You promised to be a faithful husband. Did you forget that part?"
He tries to close the gap between us. I push him away and take a few steps back. I don't want to smell her on him.
Kurapika clasps his hands together. "Listen...please...I didn't want to do any of those things. My boss is just...very convincing."
I grab my stomach in an attempt to keep myself from laughing. "So...this was all her fault? And how did she convince you?" I tap my chin with my index finger. "Let me guess...she threw her cute little body on you? Or did she force your hands on her perfect breasts? Hmm...maybe she started off slow by giving you an innocent little kiss."
He waves his hand in front of me. "No...I never kissed her. I want you to know that."
Anger flows through my veins like lava. I raise my hand and slap him across the face. "Kurapika, is that supposed to make me feel better? Maybe you didn't kiss her on the mouth, but you had your lips on her...on her..." I can't bring myself to say it out loud. "You're disgusting. How many times did you come home to kiss me after kissing her down there?" I push him. "Answer me!"
Instead of answering, he looks at me with his stupid pretty eyes. His cheek is red from where I slapped him.
"Kurapika, how long were you having an affair?"
He stares at me with apologetic eyes. "Does it matter? The fact is...what I did was wrong. Nothing I say can justify what I did. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm in love with you, (Y/N)." Tears fall down his cheeks. "I don't expect your forgiveness today. I just hope that one day...hopefully in the near future, you'll find it in your heart to forgive me."
He finally closes the gap between us and wraps his arms around me.
I pull away. "Don't touch me!"
I used to crave Kurapika's touch. His embrace brought me comfort on my worst days. But now...I don't even want him close to me. The sting he left on my skin travels straight to my heart.
"(Y/N)...please." I've never seen Kurapika cry before. I watch as his soft cry turns into sobs. "Don't give up on us yet."
Watching him cry infuriates me more than his words. He hurt me first. I make a fist with both of my hands. I jump toward him, punching his chest with my right, then left fist.
"You should've thought about that before you fucked your boss." I keep punching him. I can't stop. My sight is blurry from all my tears. "I want a divorce, you cheating son of a bitch!"
Kurapika manages to spin me around, locking his arms around me.
"Please...anything but that." He rests his forehead against my shoulder, sobbing louder than before.
My entire body shakes. "Let me go."
He falls to his knees, hugging my legs. I step out of his arms and kneel in front of him.
"Kurapika," I say, lifting his chin so he can face me. I pull out the crumbled piece of paper from my pocket and read my vows to him.
"I'm sorry. I took you for granted. Everything I need to survive is right in front of me. You're my home." He touches my cheek with his hand.
I push his hand down. "Looks like once again, you've lost your home." I grip his hair. "I hope something terrible happens to you."
I stand up. Kurapika stares at nothing as I walk past him. I put on my shoes and grab my suitcase before walking out the front door. As soon as I close it behind me, I fall to my knees. Why did I just tell him that? I turn to face the door, contemplating whether or not to take back those awful words.
I use my suitcase to help me on my feet. I shake my head. No. He slept with someone else. He deserved those words.
I drive until I reach a familiar apartment complex. I rest my head on the steering wheel after turning off the engine. I allow myself to cry before getting out of my car. They say no one has ever died from a heartbreak...well...I just might be the first one.
I knock on the door to one of the apartments, hoping I'm at the right one. It's been a while since I've been here.
"(Y/N)?" Gon asks as he opens the door.
"Hey. Can I stay with you guys for a while?"
He gives me a confused look. "Uh...sure."
I roll my suitcase into the apartment, taking off my shoes as soon as I enter.
"(Y/N)!" Alluka runs to me with open arms. Her face brightens when she sees my suitcase. "Are you going to stay with us for a while?" She squeezes me.
I burst into tears.
She pulls away, furrowing her brow. "(Y/N)? Is everything okay?"
A look of concern crosses Gon's face as he takes my suitcase into Alluka's bedroom. Killua walks out of his bedroom when he hears the commotion.
I suddenly realize Gon, Killua, and Alluka are all Kurapika's friends. I don't want to put them in an uncomfortable position.
"Can we talk in private?" I ask Alluka.
"Sure." She turns to face Killua. "Big Brother, I'm going to take a walk with (Y/N)."
He ruffles his little sister's hair. "Go ahead. Just be careful."
The sound of cicadas fill our ears as we walk around the complex. I tell Alluka everything.
Her jaw drops. "All that happened today?"
"Mm-hmm. I feel like I've been on a roller coaster all day."
"Well...don't get off quite yet," Alluka says.
"Huh? What else could go wrong?"
She pulls out her phone to check the time. "If we leave now, we can make it to the clinic."
I jump back. "The clinic?"
"Yes. You need to get checked. You don't know if he gave you anything."
Shit...she's right. That thought never crossed my mind.
There's nothing more humiliating than lying half naked on a hard exam table with your legs spread wide open by stirrups. Tears fall from my face onto the paper covering the table as the doctor inserts a cold speculum inside of me in order to look at my cervix. She swabs my walls to collect a specimen.
When she's finished, I sit up on the table while she looks at the specimen under a microscope. The only thing covering me from my waist down is a thin sheet of paper. Curse Kurapika for making me go through this.
The doctor finally walks back to me. She offers me a smile. It's one of those pity smiles she probably gives to most of the patients who walk in here.
"The good news is I didn't see anything abnormal in your exam. I still want to order some blood work to cover all bases."
"If that's the good news...then what's the bad?" I ask her.
"You told the nurse your husband cheated on you, correct?"
I nod. Why else would I be sitting in a damn STD clinic?
"Well...the urine sample you left...it's positive," she says.
"Positive for what?" Why can't doctors just come out and tell patients what's wrong with them?
She's still giving me that annoying pity smile. "Pregnancy," she finally answers me.
My mouth falls open. I stare at the doctor, waiting for her to tell me she made a mistake.
She doesn't say anything. She simply leaves me alone to change back into my clothes.
I meet Alluka in the waiting room after getting my blood drawn. She stands up from her chair as soon as she sees me.
"Is everything okay?"
I give her a blank stare. "Uh...let's get out of here."
As soon as we leave the building, I wrap my arms around Alluka. I bury my face in her shoulder. Her scent is sweet and comforting. I soak her kimono with my tears.
She holds me while I cry. "What did he give you?"
"A baby. That bastard gave me a baby."
Three months pass by and I finally have enough money to get my own apartment. I've been working two jobs while staying with Alluka. I must hand it to her...living with Gon and Killua isn't easy. They're constantly bickering with each other.
My name is still on Kurapika's bank account; however, I know who pays his salary and I don't want anything to do with that family.
I've been so busy with work, I haven't had time to pick up divorce papers from the courthouse. Now that I have my own place, I can work fewer hours and focus on other things on my to-do list.
Gon helps me take a couple of boxes to the front door. Luckily, I don't own a lot of things.
"Are you sure you don't want to move back in with Kurapika?" Gon asks me.
His question takes me by surprise. A wave of nausea hits me, and I throw up on the floor in the foyer.
Alluka runs up to me, followed by Killua. His eyes widen in disgust.
"What the hell? The bathroom is right here." Killua points to the bathroom that is only a few feet away.
I wipe my mouth. "I know. I'm sorry. It just came out of nowhere." I sit on the floor.
Alluka starts to clean up the mess. I rest my head against the wall and close my eyes.
Gon kneels in front of me. "Feeling sick to your stomach? I have some plants that help with that."
I open my eyes. "Oh, yeah? I'm afraid to ask what kind of plants you have."
Killua slaps his friend in the back of his head. "No one wants your stupid plants, Gon."
Gon rubs his head where Killua slapped him. "Ow...that hurt. And I'm only trying to help."
I can't help but smile.
The next day, Alluka walks with me to pick up the key to my apartment.
"You don't have to move out. We don't mind you living with us. I'm going to miss you."
I laugh. "Alluka, my apartment is in the same complex as you. You can come over whenever you want."
"I know. I just want to help you. Especially when the baby comes."
I gently pat her on the shoulder. "I promise...you can watch the baby whenever you want. Look at it this way...now you have a place to hide when your brother and Gon annoy you."
She laughs. Seconds later, her smile fades. "(Y/N)? Have you thought about when you're going to tell Kurapika?"
I place my hand over my abdomen. "Alluka, I'm not even showing yet. I'll tell him soon."
"Okay, but Big Brother is starting to get suspicious."
"Don't worry about it." I dangle my new key in the air. "Now let's go see my new place!"
My phone rings as we walk up the stairs. I stop to see who it is.
"It's Leorio. I wonder what he wants."
Leorio never calls me. I must admit, seeing his name on my phone stings my heart. It reminds me of the times Kurapika and I would spend at his place.
Kurapika and I watched as Leorio slowly slid the wooden block out of the Jenga game. He bit his lip, concentrating hard. His hands started to tremble. He took a break to adjust his glasses. As soon as he touched the block again, all of the pieces came crashing down.
"Dammit! I almost had it!" Leorio shouted.
Kurapika laughed. "Maybe you had one too many."
"Seriously!" I kissed Kurapika on the cheek. "I'm going to go out to the balcony for some fresh air."
Kurapika tucked some hair behind my ear. "I'll join you."
We stood up to leave. I pointed to the mess on the table. "Leorio, loser picks up the pieces."
He gave us an annoyed look.
Kurapika and I excused ourselves to go outside. We looked out from the seventh floor balcony. The sun started to set, changing the color of the sky to a bright orange. We leaned over the railing. Kurapika placed his hand on top of mine.
"Have I told you lately that I love you?"
I pretended to think about his question. "Hmm...maybe a few minutes ago. But that's okay. You can tell me as many times as you'd like."
"I love you," he said.
He pressed his lips against mine. I felt goosebumps erupt on my skin as he moved his lips to my neck.
"Ahh..."
He kissed my ear. "You like that?"
I threw my head back. "Yes. Don't stop."
He picked me up and sat me on the table. He placed his hand on my thigh and continued to kiss my neck. Seconds later, I felt his hand under my skirt.
"Kurapika..."
"Shh..." He interrupted me with a kiss.
He massaged my upper thigh as he slowly kissed me. I wrapped my legs around his waist. We heard the sliding glass door open, but didn't bother to stop.
"Hey...what the hell?" Leorio shouted. "I eat on that table!"
Kurapika laughed against my lips as he ignored his best friend.
"Whatever," Leorio said. "I swear...you two lovebirds can't stay apart for two seconds."
We heard Leorio go back inside. Kurapika started to pull at the waist of my panties.
He broke our kiss. "These are in my way."
"Kurapika, anyone can see us."
He gave me a mischievous smile. "Let them."
Excitement filled my veins as I helped him pull my panties down. Seconds later, I moaned as he entered me.
"Are you going to answer that?" Alluka interrupts my thoughts.
"Oh...right." I swipe the screen to the right to answer Leorio's call. "Hello?"
"(Y/N)? Thank goodness you answered. I have some bad news. You're not driving, are you?"
"Uh...no. What's up?"
"It's Kurapika. There's...uh...been an accident."
My heart skips a beat. I look at Alluka. "An accident? Is he okay?"
"No. That's why I'm calling. He's on life support and since you two are still legally married, you're his decision-maker."
"Decision-maker? What kind of decision do I need to make?"
"Look...I hate talking about this over the phone. Can you meet me at the hospital?"
"No...I don't care if Kurapika and I are legally married. I don't want anything to do with him."
I end the call and drop to my knees. Alluka catches me before I fall down the stairs.
"(Y/N), what did he say?"
I'm finding it hard to catch my breath. Sweat drops form on my forehead as I grip my chest.
I see Gon and Killua suddenly appear at the bottom of the stairs. They run up as soon as they see me.
"Hey, we just heard what happened. We can drive you to the hospital if you want," says Gon.
I try to concentrate on my breathing. I hear Alluka asking questions. A sharp pain starts in my chest as I hear Killua explain everything to her.
It's hot out here. Why is it so damn hot? I need to get inside before I pass out.
I'm upside down. I see the pavement and green boots. It's Gon...he draped me over his shoulder. We must be heading back to his apartment.
Alluka places a cold washcloth on my forehead after Gon lays me on the couch. They're talking, but I can't make out what they're saying.
Seconds later, I slam my fist on the couch cushion. "Can everyone just shut up?"
The three of them stare at me with blank faces.
I turn on my side and bring my knees to my chest. It hurts to breathe. I'm reminded of Kurapika's betrayal, and the wound in my heart opens. But...at the same time...my heart aches for him. I repeat the phone conversation in my head. Did Leorio say life support? What's wrong with me? I need to be there for my husband.
I look at Gon. "I think I'll take your offer. Will one of you drive me to the hospital?"
He nods.
Alluka holds my hand as we take the elevator to the trauma ICU.
I check in at the nurses' station.
"Hello, Mrs. Kurta. We've been waiting for you," the nurse says. "Your husband is in the VIP room. There's already two visitors in there, but you can ask one to swap out with you."
I furrow my brow. I thought Leorio was the only one with him.
I see Melody waiting outside the room. She extends her hand out to me.
"I'm glad you decided to come," she says.
I shake her hand. "Are you waiting to visit Kurapika?"
"No. I already saw him today. I'm just waiting for someone."
I don't bother to question her. I take a deep breath before entering the room.
Rage fills my heart when I recognize the person Melody is waiting for. The blue-haired homewrecker is sitting in a chair next to my husband's bed. She's holding his hand, sobbing.
I don't even try to stop myself as I stomp right up to her. I grab whatever the hell she has holding her hair up and yank it. She screams as she falls back.
Leorio immediately stands to his feet. "(Y/N)!" He runs to me.
I clench my jaw. "What the hell is she doing here?" Hot tears well up in my eyes.
Leorio holds me back. "Neon, leave the room," he says as she gets up from the floor.
The sound of her name enrages me. I free myself from Leorio's grip and push her up against the wall. I grab a hold of her necklace and rip it off her neck. She gasps, placing her hand on where her necklace used to be.
She stares at me with shock in her eyes. "That was a birthday present from Kurapika. Why are you being so mean to me?"
"You stupid bitch," I say through clenched teeth. "You're not allowed to be here...I'll make sure the staff knows!"
She pouts. "You can't do that! Do you know who my daddy is?"
"Yes. A sickly old man who is on the verge of death. Now get the hell out of here."
Tears fall from her cheeks. "But...I'm the one who's been with Kurapika since the accident. You left him, remember?" She rests her face in her hands. "You're the reason why this happened. He started acting reckless the day you broke his heart...taking on dangerous missions."
I feel Leorio wrap his arms around me again. He's probably afraid I'm going to attack her again.
Melody walks in the room to check on Neon. Leorio waves her off. "I have this under control," he says.
She bows before leaving.
I glare at Neon. "Wait...so you're saying I'm the one responsible for Kurapika's accident? Are you delusional?" I shake my head. I'm not going to waste my time explaining reality to some airhead.
She turns her head to look at Kurapika. "You can't keep me away from him," she cries. "I...I love him."
I relax my shoulders. I suddenly want to laugh. "Does he know that?"
She looks back at me. "Yes."
"And what did he say?"
"Nothing. But I know he feels the same way."
I let out a laugh. "Neon, Kurapika will never love you. He had sex with you, but that's it. He didn't make love to you. He didn't come home to you at night. He didn't crawl into your arms after he had a bad day. He didn't go to you for comfort when he felt sick."
"So!" She points at me. "You probably just came here to tell the doctors to pull the plug."
"I think that's what you want," I say.
She tilts her head to the side. "Huh?"
"Neon, you look like a vulture. You're standing over Kurapika, waiting for him to die so you can collect body parts of the last Kurta. You're sick, and I want you to get the hell out of my husband's room. Leave before I call security."
She turns around to leave, stomping like a toddler who didn't get her way.
As soon as she closes the door behind her, I fall back into Leorio's arms.
"(Y/N), are you okay?"
"Yeah...I just needed to get that off my chest."
Leorio helps me get back on my feet. I hold my heart as I walk to Kurapika's bed. Reality suddenly kicks in. He looks like he's sleeping peacefully. The ventilator tube is taped to his mouth. I watch as the machine breathes for him. I find his hand under the blanket. He's connected to more wires and tubes than I can count.
"Leorio, what happened?" I ask, voice hoarse.
Leorio explains using medical jargon I don't understand. I zone him out as I watch Kurapika.
What I got from all that rambling was Kurapika was outnumbered in battle, suffered a terrible injury which involved his spinal cord, and had a stroke during surgery.
I squeeze Kurapika's hand. "Leorio? Can he hear me?"
Leorio shakes his head. "Probably not. But that shouldn't stop you from talking to him. Do you want me to leave?"
"No. It's just...I feel like this was my fault."
He jumps back. "Don't tell me Neon got to you."
"Of course not. I just said something terrible to Kurapika the last time I saw him. I wished something terrible would happen to him." My voice cracks. "And now...here we are."
I bite my lip in an attempt to keep it from trembling. I feel a chill in the room. I cover Kurapika's shoulders with his blanket to keep him warm. I hear another gush of air enter his lungs and I simply allow the tears to flow down my face.
Leorio rests his hand on my shoulder. "Talk to him."
I reach down and kiss Kurapika's forehead. "Kurapika...baby...it's me, (Y/N). I'm so sorry this happened to you. If you can hear me, I want you to know that I forgive you. I still and always will love you. Please...you're the strongest hunter in the world. You can pull through this."
I wipe the tears away from my eyes to get a better view of him. He still looks like he's sleeping peacefully, unaware of what's going on around him.
Leorio clears his throat. "(Y/N)? Have the two of you ever talked about a living will?"
I look back at Leorio. "A what?"
"You know...a document that states your medical wishes in the event something like this happens."
"We're only in our early twenties. Why the hell would we get one of those?"
He motions towards Kurapika. Right. I married a hunter. Injuries are bound to happen.
"Well...like I told you on the phone...you're his decision-maker," Leorio says. It looks like he spent a good part of the day crying. "Do you know if he would want to be kept alive by a machine?"
I watch as my teardrops fall on the blanket. I try to remember if the subject ever came up.
I sat in bed next to Kurapika, reading his favorite book. I've been fighting to keep his temperature down. He came home five days ago with a dangerously high fever. Afraid he might have a seizure, I gave him antipyretics around the clock.
I felt him stir awake. I placed the book on top of the nightstand and reached down to kiss his forehead. Relief flowed through me when I noticed he no longer had a fever.
He smiled at me. "Did I die?"
My forehead crinkled. "Why would you ask me such a question?"
He reached up and touched my cheek. "Because a beautiful angel is sitting in front of me."
I threw my pillow at him. "Now I know you're feeling better because you're using your cheesy lines on me."
He tossed the pillow back to me. "Hey...I thought it was pretty romantic."
I reached down to kiss him on the lips. "It was. But I have to be honest with you. You really scared me this time."
He ran his fingers through my hair. "I'm so sorry. I guess I got carried away with Emperor Time again."
I pressed my forehead against his. "I wish you weren't a hunter. Don't get me wrong...you have my full support, but I just hate it when you use Emperor Time. You keep cutting down your lifespan."
"I know. I promise to take it easy from now on."
I sniffled, trying my best to hold back my tears. "I'm scared, Kurapika. I'm scared of losing you."
"I understand. I'm not scared of dying; however, I am afraid of leaving you behind. You and our children, if we ever have any."
I raised my eyebrows. "Children? You want children?"
His eyes shimmered. "Of course I do. A bunch of them."
I felt happiness spread throughout my body. "A bunch of little Kurtas?" I laughed. "I don't know if I can handle that."
He reached up to kiss me. "Of course you can. You will be an amazing mother."
I rested my head on his chest. "Kurapika, I love you so damn much. You need to be more careful if you want to start a family. We haven't been married that long and this is already the second time you came home sick from overusing Nen. What if I can't help you next time?"
He held my face. "Then you do whatever it takes to make sure I stay alive for our family."
I stared into his dark gray eyes. "I will...I will do whatever it takes."
He squirmed beneath me. "I'm sorry...but if I don't get up now, my bladder is going to explode."
I laughed as I hopped off of him. I helped him sit up in bed. "Do you feel dizzy?"
He rested his forehead in his hand. "A little, but I'll be fine. I promise."
I waited for Kurapika to come back. He crawled on top of me when he did.
"I wish I had more energy. I want to start making babies with you."
I wrapped my legs around him. "Me too."
He kissed my neck. "Don't worry...I don't plan on going anywhere."
"(Y/N)? Would Kurapika want to be on life support?" Leorio repeated his question.
I stand up and grab Leorio's hands. "Yes. He would."
Relief washes over Leorio. "Thank goodness." He squeezes my hands. "And just so you know...not a day went by without Kurapika mentioning you. He feels terrible for breaking your heart. The reason he never called you was because he felt he didn't deserve your forgiveness."
I stare at Kurapika's best friend. I part my mouth, debating whether or not to tell him about the baby.
"Leorio?"
"Yeah?"
"Uh...you're a doctor now, right? Be honest with me. Do you think Kurapika will pull through?"
He releases my hands and scratches the back of his head while looking at Kurapika.
"Medically speaking...it's hard to tell. The brain is the most complex organ in the human body."
I interrupt him. "Please...don't quote textbooks. I just want to know your honest opinion."
He looks back at me with a smile. "Right. If you want my opinion, I think Kurapika will pull through. He's a fighter."
"That's the thing. What if he believes he has nothing to fight for?"
"I may have told you he felt he didn't deserve your forgiveness. What I failed to mention was the fact that he never planned on giving up on you."
I wrap my arms around Leorio. "Thank you. I needed to hear that."
He kisses the top of my head. "I'm glad you came into Kurapika's life." He pulls away. "Listen...the thing between Kurapika and Neon...it was..."
I put my hand up. "It's okay. I don't want to know." I turn to look at Kurapika. "We all make mistakes."
He puts his hands in his pockets. "Damn. He's lucky to have you."
The corners of my mouth move upward. I place my hands on my abdomen. "Leorio, you're going to be an uncle."
He falls on his back. When he gets back up, he rubs his ears and moves closer to me. "What did you say?"
"Kurapika and I...we're going to have a baby."
Waterfalls burst from Leorio's eyes. "I can't believe it! Why didn't Kurapika tell me?"
A tinge of guilt forms in my stomach. "He doesn't know."
"He doesn't? What the hell are you waiting for? He should be the first to know." He pushes me towards Kurapika's bed. "I'm going to give the two of you some privacy."
I sit on the bed as soon as Leorio leaves. The repetitive sounds of the monitor beeping, the ventilator pushing air into Kurapika's lungs, and the IV pumps working to administer medication into his veins fill my ears. I find his hand and place it against my lips. My tears pour down the hand that once had the ability to conjure chains.
I honestly don't know what to say or if he can even hear me.
I close my eyes and allow my heart to do the talking.
"Kurapika, you're not going to believe this, but you're going to be a daddy. There's going to be another Kurta running around. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner...maybe you wouldn't be hooked up to so many machines...but we can't go back in time so there's no point in wondering about the what ifs. You're the one who taught me that. Anyway, you have no choice but to get better. And make it quick because we need you."
I put his hand down. I stare at him, waiting to see if he has any reaction. Minutes pass, and a doctor walks into the room. He explains Kurapika's condition to me.
"Even if he does wake up, there's no guarantee he'll be the same person," the doctor says.
My blood starts to boil. "So...you're telling me I should give up?"
He shakes his head. "No...I just want to be honest with you. He suffered a stroke, and we can't tell what long-term effects he'll have."
"Well...you don't know Kurapika."
Six months slowly pass by. Kurapika has been transferred to a long-term care facility. Nothing has changed in his condition. I can tell the doctors are tired of me. They tell me with each day that passes, he has a less chance of survival. I don't care what they tell me. As long as Kurapika's heart is beating, I'm going to stand here and wait for him.
I'm helping the nursing assistant with his bedbath when I feel the baby kick. I quickly grab Kurapika's hand and place it over my abdomen. "Feel that, Kurapika? She can't wait to meet her daddy." I wish he was awake to experience this moment.
"It looks like you're ready to pop," the nursing assistant says.
I look at my baby belly. "Yeah. Any day now." I put Kurapika's hand back down.
We turn him on his side when I feel a sharp pain in my lower back. I wince.
"(Y/N), take a break. I can turn him myself. He doesn't weigh much," she says.
She's right. He only weighed one-hundred and thirty pounds before all of this happened. Who knows how much weight he has lost.
"I'm fine. I want to be involved in his care as much as I can," I say.
She wrings out a washcloth and passes it to me. "You're a good wife. I wish all the spouses here were like you. Some don't even come to visit their loved ones."
I feel myself frowning as I wash Kurapika's back. The thought of someone dying alone saddens me.
"You have a very noble profession. Thank you for taking good care of my husband," I say.
She tells she enjoys her job as she reaches for a fresh gown. I stop her. Knowing Kurapika, he wouldn't want to be dressed in a hospital garment. "I brought his own clothes to wear." I reach into the duffel bag I brought and pull out one of his tabards.
When we finish dressing him, I stand back to admire how handsome he looks. The only thing I'm not able to do is give him a haircut. I giggle as I brush his hair. It's grown past his shoulders. I must admit, I think it looks adorable.
The rest of our friends come in. Alluka runs up to me.
"(Y/N), you're sweating. Do you feel okay?"
I wipe my forehead. "I'm fine. Just a little back pain."
Out of habit, Leorio assesses Kurapika. "Hey! He's responding to me!"
We all run to Kurapika's bed. He slowly moves his head from side to side.
The pain in my back intensifies as it radiates to my lower abdomen causing me to fall on my knees.
"(Y/N)!" Alluka shouts. "Big Brother, help me get her on the couch."
I feel Killua scoop me up off the floor. He gently places me on the couch. I grab his hand and squeeze it as tight as I can.
"Dammit...that hurts!" Killua shouts.
I pant through clenched teeth. It feels like my uterus is splitting into two. "How's...Kura...pika?"
"I...I don't know yet." Leorio turns his head to look at me. I can tell he wants to check on me, but at the same time, he doesn't want to leave Kurapika. "Sounds like you're in labor."
I jolt up. "What? No...I can't be."
Leorio looks back at Kurapika. "Killua, drive (Y/N) to the hospital. And make it fast."
Killua gives Leorio the side-eye. "Make it fast? Uh...do you know who you're talking to?"
"No!" I shout. "I'm not leaving Kurapika!"
I don't even get a chance to fight Killua off of me. I'm already in his car. I hear drivers honk their horns as Killua cuts them off. He gets me to the hospital before I have my next contraction. He holds me while Alluka signs me in.
I grip Killua's chest as I breathe through my contraction. Seconds later, someone comes with a wheelchair for me. Liquid gushes out of me as Killua places me in the chair.
"Shit!" Killua shouts. He jumps back with wide eyes. He looks down at his clothes. "You soaked me!"
Alluka pats her brother on the shoulder, giggling. "It's not like she did it on purpose."
Alluka and Killua follow me to the labor and delivery department. The nurse helps me walk to the hospital bed. She straps monitors around my belly.
"Uh...are you sure you want me to stay?" Killua asks me, sweat drops forming on his forehead.
I yank his arm. "Don't you dare go anywhere!"
Hours later, I'm drenched in sweat. "I can't do this anymore," I say, panting.
Alluka grabs my chin and forces me to look at her. "(Y/N), you're almost there. Just a few more pushes."
Her words do nothing for me. I close my eyes, picturing Kurapika's smile. It gives me enough strength to keep pushing. The nurse tells me the baby's head is out. I continue to push until I hear crying. I fall back on the bed.
"It's a girl!" the doctor shouts.
After assessing my baby, a nurse places her on my lap. How can I have so much love for someone I've never met before? She's absolutely perfect. I place her on my chest, sobbing as I allow all of my emotions to take over.
Seconds later, the nurse takes her away from me.
"We just need to finish assessing her. I promise to give her right back to you," she says.
"Hey," Killua says. "I think you broke my hand." He shakes his head. "Whatever. What I really want to say is...you just pushed a human out of your body. It was the grossest thing I've ever seen." He rests his arm behind his head. I can see a hint of pink on his cheeks. "I guess...uh...you're pretty amazing. And...your baby is kinda cute. Kurapika is lucky."
I reach out to pinch Killua's cheek. "Thank you, Killua. I appreciate everything you've done for us." The sudden decrease in hormones hit me and I begin to cry uncontrollably. "Please...call...Leorio...for...an...update."
"Right. On it." Killua pulls his phone out of his pocket. He leaves the room to call Leorio.
The nurse brings back my baby. "She's perfect," she says. "What's her name?"
I cradle my newborn in my arms. "I...I don't know. I want to ask her father."
The nurse offers me a smile before leaving me alone with my baby.
Alluka reaches down to give the baby a kiss. "I already love her."
I try to wipe my tears away, but they won't stop.
Alluka rubs my shoulder. "I'm going to give the two of you some privacy. I'll let you know if Big Brother has an update on Kurapika's condition." She gives me a sad smile before walking out of the room.
I stare at my baby Kurta. "Don't worry, little one. Your daddy is going to wake up soon. I bet he's already on his way here."
I must've passed out from exhaustion because I'm in another room when I open my eyes. I immediately sit up. "Where's my baby?"
"She's right here." Alluka shows me the baby in her arms.
I let out a breath of relief. "How's Kurapika? Has anyone heard from him?"
Killua takes a deep breath before taking a seat next to me. I stare at him with wide eyes, desperate to hear some good news.
"He asked for you," Killua says, voice low.
"Wh...what? He woke up? That's a good sign...right?"
Killua closes his eyes. He looks like he's keeping something from me.
I grip the blanket. "Tell me, Killua."
Killua glances at me. "He's having trouble talking."
"What do you mean?"
Killua stares at the floor. "The stroke...it damaged the part of his brain that controls speech."
I can live with that. "Is that all?"
Killua shakes his head. "No. The right side of his body is weak. But...Leorio sounded hopeful. If Kurapika puts in the work, he can regain his strength."
"Does he know about the baby?"
"No. Leorio didn't want to overwhelm him with information."
"Can I talk to him?"
Killua's eyes are red. "Uh...let me call Leorio for you."
Alluka sings lullabies to my baby while Killua calls Leorio for me. He hands me the phone.
"Leorio? Can you get Kurapika on the phone for me?"
"Of course. But...did Killua tell you? It might be hard for him to say what's on his mind. Be patient with him."
"Absolutely. Uh...before you get him on....what's the last thing he remembers?"
"From what I can tell, it sounds like he remembers everything up until the accident."
"Okay. Thank you, Leorio. I'm glad he's in good hands. Now let me talk to him."
I hear silence on Leorio's end. My heart rate accelerates as I wait. Seconds later, I hear my husband's voice for the first time in almost ten months.
"(Y/N)...."
I choke up when I hear him say my name. He said it perfectly.
"Kurapika! I miss you, baby. How are you feeling?"
"Phone...talk...is...hard. Can't...can't..."
"It's okay. Don't overwork yourself. I just wanted to hear your voice. I'm going to see you soon. I promise."
"Yes? Words...words...no words. Only...heart."
"I love you, too."
I throw the phone on the bed when I end the call. I bury my face into my hands. My heart hurts like hell. How can it still be beating after everything it's gone through this year?
Why is my discharge taking so long? Killua has everything loaded up in his car. We are just waiting for my paperwork.
While I wait, I can't help but think how I'm going to introduce Kurapika's daughter to him. Poor guy just came off life support...I don't want to just hand her over to him and shout, Surprise! You're a dad now!
I call Leorio on our way to the facility.
"He's having a bad day," Leorio says.
I panic. "Why? Did something happen overnight?"
"No. He just got frustrated with physical therapy. He doesn't want to participate. You know how stubborn he is."
"Dammit...that's the only way he's going to get stronger!" I shout into the phone.
"I know. I'm hoping he'll change his mind when he sees you."
Alluka takes the baby with her to the waiting room while I visit with Kurapika. Leorio and Gon are already with him. Killua follows me in his room.
Kurapika's face brightens as I walk towards him. He looks as handsome as ever. I kiss his cheek as soon as I sit next to him.
"Hi, darling. Is everyone treating you well?"
His eyes go from dark gray to deep scarlet within a matter of seconds. He opens his mouth, but no words come out.
"It's okay," I say. "You don't need to say anything." I comb my fingers through his long hair. "We need to get you a haircut once we get you out of here."
"Home?" he asks me.
I nod. "Yes. Home with me." I take the ponytail holder out of my hair and use it to tie his hair back. "There you go. Now I can see your face."
"I...I...am...sorry...for...mistakes."
Sadness washes over me as I watch him struggle to say simple sentences. "It's okay, baby. I forgive you." I squeeze his right hand. I notice he doesn't squeeze mine back. He actually doesn't move it at all.
"(Y/N)...Kur...ta?"
"Yes. Forever."
He smiles at me. It's the sweetest smile he's ever given me. My postpartum blues are threatening to take me over, but I fight them away. I have to be strong for Kurapika.
I stroke his hand with my thumb. "Do you need anything?"
He looks behind me. "Room...bath...room." He pulls the blanket off and scoots to the edge of the bed.
Leorio jolts from his seat. "No, (Y/N)! He can't walk!"
Kurapika scowls at Leorio.
Leorio grabs Kurapika's waist. "C'mon, buddy. I'll help you."
Kurapika punches his friend with his left arm. "No...don't...help."
"Dammit...you'll fall on your ass if I don't help you."
Gon and Killua watch them with saddened eyes. The right side of Kurapika's body is flaccid. I don't see how he'll ever be able to walk if he keeps refusing physical therapy.
Leorio finally convinces Kurapika to allow him to help. There's no way I'll be able to help him by myself and take care of a newborn at the same time.
"Thank you, Leorio." I say when they return.
"Yeah. Good luck with this one. He acts like he didn't just come out of a coma."
I can see the frustration on Kurapika's face. "Hey. One day at a time, okay?"
He looks away from me. "Home."
I reach into my pocket for my phone. "I know what will motivate you." I call Alluka. "Bring her in."
Seconds later, the door creaks open. Alluka comes in holding my baby.
I take my baby from her. I have her dressed in a traditional Kurta tabard.
"There's someone I'd like you to meet."
A look of confusion crosses Kurapika's face as I hand him his baby. I help him hold her so he can touch her with his left hand. He keeps his eyes focused on her, studying her features.
"Me?" He asks me.
Tears fall down my cheeks. "Yes. You left her with me before your accident."
Everyone stands around Kurapika's bed to witness his reaction.
Kurapika takes a few strands of her golden hair in between his fingers. He starts to take deep breaths. "Me?" He repeats.
He mumbles a few incomprehensible words. A look of frustration crosses his face as he tries to speak.
I place my hand over his. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything."
He shakes his head. "No...I...did...wrong. Don't...deserve...this"
"Yes, you do. You made one mistake. All I want is for you to participate in therapy so we can take you home. Do it for her."
Kurapika stares at his daughter. "Name?"
"She doesn't have one yet. I was hoping you'd give me some ideas."
"Mi...Mi..rai," he says.
I crinkle my forehead. "Future?"
He nods. He attempts to explain his reason, but I already know.
"Yes, Kurapika. She has given us a future to look forward to."
Kurapika smiles. Once again, he managed to escape his one-way trip to Heaven. I don't know how much longer we have with him, but for now, I vow to savor each moment.
Kurapika comes back home after three months of intense speech, physical, and occupational therapy. He'll never be the same again, but it's a miracle he's alive so I'm grateful.
We throw a little welcoming party for Kurapika once he settles back in. I reach into the refrigerator for the cake when Leorio pulls me aside.
"Hey...can I ask you something?" He takes the cake away from me and sets it on the counter.
"Uh...sure." I look out at the others in the living room. They are all admiring Mirai.
"You don't have to answer, but...would you still have forgiven Kurapika if he never got into that accident?"
I keep my eyes focused on Kurapika. "You know...I believe things happen in our lives for a reason. I'm not saying I'm glad this happened to Kurapika, but maybe it had to." I turn to face Leorio. "I was enraged when I found out about him and Neon. My heart was broken beyond repair." I feel hot tears welling in my eyes as I think back to when I caught him with Neon.
Leorio places his hands on my shoulders. We've been good friends for a long time now, it doesn't bother me that he's standing so close to me.
"Hey...I didn't mean to upset you. It was stupid of me to ask."
I allow my head to rest on his chest. Well, close to his chest. He's really tall. "It's fine, Leorio. It's actually a question I've been asking myself lately."
He strokes my back with his hand. "I know Kurapika doesn't forgive himself. He probably never will. I'm just glad he has someone like you to remind him it's okay to screw up sometimes. Not saying what he did was a simple mistake. Hell...I even punched him when he told me what he did. It's just...Kurapika's been through a lot. Thank you for being there for him."
I pull away from Leorio. "It's definitely going to take time for my heart to heal. I'm thankful for the beautiful little distraction he left me. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was scared. Scared that my child would be a constant reminder of Kurapika's betrayal."
I look back at Kurapika. He's making adorable faces at our baby. "I know we still have a long road ahead of us. But...Kurapika's right. Mirai is a symbol of our future. A future filled with love and hope."
Leorio follows my line of sight and smiles.
Later that night, I help Kurapika get ready for bed. Thankfully, he can walk on his own. His right arm is still weak so he had to learn to use his left.
I check on Mirai before Kurapika and I settle into bed. She's in her bassinet on my side of the bed. I turn off the bedside lamp.
"Thank you, my love," Kurapika says.
"Of course. I vowed to love you in sickness and in health, remember?"
"No...not that. Thank you for giving me a second chance. I don't deserve your love." He squeezes my hand.
His speech has improved a lot. He stumbles his words every once in a while, but for the most part, his speech is almost back to normal.
"Stop saying that. I love you. Now go to sleep." I give him a kiss before turning on my side, facing the bassinet. I've been so exhausted taking care of both Kurapika and the baby, I fall asleep as soon as I close my eyes.
I jolt up in bed at around two. I check on the baby. She's sound asleep. I check on Kurapika. He's also sound asleep. His breaths are slow and even. The moonlight shines through the window, providing me with enough light to see his face. His lips are slightly parted. I wonder what he's dreaming about. And what woke me up so suddenly? Could it be that now, since we've settled back into married life, I can't help but wonder if I'm still sleeping with the enemy?
No...we've moved past that. Kurapika learned from his mistake. A tiny smile forms on his face. What is he dreaming about? I'll never know. I'll never know what really goes on in his mind. Am I going crazy? Why do I feel the sudden urge to strangle him? He's already paid for his sin.
Or...has he?
I slam my fist on my desk after closing my laptop. "Dammit!"
I check the time. It's two in the morning. I hope I didn't wake you up. I'm so close to finding another pair of my brethren's eyes; however, work is getting in my way. Being the Nostrade's leader is taking up most of my time. Not to mention my duties as your husband.
I crawl into bed. I wish I could just close my eyes and sleep. You reach over and rest your hand on my chest.
"Is everything okay?"
I pick up your hand and kiss the soft skin. "Everything is fine, baby. Go back to sleep."
A tinge of guilt forms in my stomach. I'm so consumed with my own life that I've been neglecting you.
I reach over to kiss your head before attempting to fall asleep. It feels like I'm living life on autopilot. I come home late from work and go straight to my office to make inquiries about my clan's eyes. That's even if I get to come home. There are times when I have to travel long distances, leaving you home alone for weeks at a time. I can't keep living like this. If Emperor Time doesn't kill me, stress certainly will.
A few hours later, you gently shake my shoulder.
"Kurapika, it's time to wake up. Come eat your breakfast now before you're late for work."
I roll over. "I'll skip breakfast. Just give me ten more minutes."
You sigh. "You can't skip breakfast. You missed dinner last night."
"(Y/N), please. I barely got any sleep last night. Just let me be."
I hear you stomp out of our room. I've upsetted you. I roll out of bed. Once again, you're right. I should eat. What would I do without you?
I rub my eyes as I walk to the kitchen. I think I'll go straight to bed when I get off work tonight.
I sit down at the table. In front of me is a bowl of rice and eggs and a steaming bowl of soup. You pour me a cup of coffee. "Thank you for taking care of me. I want you to know, your hard work doesn't go unnoticed."
You kiss my cheek. "It's not work, darling. I do this because I love you."
"And I love you."
I give the other guards their assignments as soon as I arrive at the mansion. I walk up the stairs to relieve Melody who has been guarding Neon through the night.
I knock on Neon's bedroom door. Melody opens it, greeting me with a smile. I furrow my brow as I look around the room. "Where's the boss?"
"She's putting on her makeup."
"Her makeup? But why? She's usually still asleep at this time."
"Yes. She believes you are taking her out today for her birthday."
I slap my hand against my forehead. "Dammit...I forgot. She's going to expect me to take her out shopping. I was hoping to get some more research done while she slept."
"It's fine, Kurapika. I don't mind taking her if you have something more important to do," Melody says.
I shake my head. "No, you go home and get some rest. You've been up all night. I appreciate your offer."
She bows in front of me. "Okay, then. I shall see you this evening." She turns to leave.
I fall into one of the chairs in the room while I wait for Neon. I sigh. It's going to be a long day.
Seconds later, Neon emerges from her bathroom. She's wearing a slip dress and has her long hair down.
"Kurapika!" She runs toward me. "Yay...you're early. Do you think the mall is open yet?"
I stand up from my chair. "I doubt it. It's still rather early."
She tucks her hands inside the pockets of my suit jacket. "That sucks. What do you want to do while we wait?"
I gently grab her wrists and take her hands out of my pockets. "Have you eaten your breakfast?"
She sticks her tongue out. "No way. The cook tried to serve me fish again. I told her if she didn't come up with a new menu, I was going to fire her."
"That's a bit harsh. If you want, I can talk to her. I'm sure I can convince her to prepare you a special meal for your birthday."
Her face brightens as the corners of her lips move upward. "You remembered my birthday?"
"Uh...yeah," I lie. It's not worth listening to her cry for the next hour.
She jumps on me. I instinctively wrap my arms around her to keep her from falling. "Then how about you give me my present? You know, the one I've been asking for?"
I place her back down on her feet, shaking my head in disapproval. "No, Neon. We've discussed this."
She pouts. "Why not?"
It is worth mentioning that for the past few months, Neon has been trying to get me to copulate with her.
I lift my left hand, pointing to my wedding band. "I'm a married man."
She grabs my hand and spins the ring around my finger. "What does (Y/N) have that I don't?"
I wince. I don't like her mentioning your name.
"Listen...why don't I take you out to breakfast? Then we can visit the mall." I change the subject.
She grabs her purse and runs out of the room. I follow her downstairs to the car.
After hours of shopping, we take a break in the food court.
She takes a sip of her bubble tea. "I can't wait to see what you bought me for my birthday!"
Damn. Was I supposed to buy her a gift? I mean...she pays my salary. Technically, she'd be the one paying for it.
I give her a serious expression. "Neon, I need you to listen to me. Stay right here until I get back. I mean it...don't leave this spot."
She waves me off. "Yeah...yeah." She focuses her attention on a fashion magazine.
I shouldn't be leaving her side, but I don't feel any negative aura around us. I'll only be gone for a few minutes.
I walk inside a jewelry store and browse around until I find something that will suit her taste. A beautiful gold necklace with a scarlet pendant catches my eye. I politely ask the sales associate to take it out of the glass case.
I smile as I admire it. It's actually a piece I'd buy for you. However, I'm in a hurry. I quickly purchase the expensive necklace and run out to find Neon. Luckily, she's still sitting at our table.
I gather all of Neon's bags and escort her back to the car. Once we are back in her room, she gives me a fashion show.
I sometimes ask myself if this job is worth the money.
While she changes outfits, I take out my tablet to conduct a little research. It's frustrating. The area where there's supposedly another pair of scarlet eyes is restricted. Even with my hunter's license, it will be difficult finding transportation.
"How do you like this one?"
I lift my head up. My eyes widen. The black lingerie she's wearing barely covers anything. She tilts her head to the side, flipping her hair over her shoulder.
I cover my eyes with my hand. "Uh...very nice."
She sits on my lap and unbuttons my jacket. "Does your wife wear things like this for you?" My jacket falls to the floor.
I need to get her off of me.
"Oh, I almost forgot. I have your birthday present."
She jumps up and runs to her bed. She sits down with her legs spread. "It's about time."
Sweat drops form on my forehead. I wave my hand out in front of her. "No...not that. I have an actual present to give you." I turn around to grab my bag. I pull out a long box.
She snatches it out of my hand, ripping it open. She gasps as soon as she sees the necklace. "You picked this out for me? It's beautiful!" She pulls her hair to the side, exposing her neck. "Put it on me."
I clasp the necklace for her.
She claps her hands. "I'm never going to take this necklace off!"
"I'm glad you like it."
I look out the window. The sun is starting to set. I let out a sigh. I hope Melody comes to relieve me early. I'm starting to feel the effects from lack of sleep.
I glance at Neon. My somnolence must be causing me to see things because I can't believe the sight in front of me.
"Uh...Neon? What are you doing?"
I definitely don't get paid enough. I turn around while Neon touches herself. "I'm going to guard you from outside your bedroom."
She jumps up. "No...I'm sorry. I usually wait until you leave, but...I can't help myself. You're hot, Kurapika."
We're interrupted by a knock at the door. I ask who it is before opening it. Luckily, the curtain at the foot of Neon's canopy bed is closed.
"Thank you," I say to the maid as pushes a cart into the room. I close the door behind her.
I stare at the cart. I start to feel sorry for Neon when I realize she's spending her birthday alone. I don't count. I'm just another employee here, not her friend.
I push the cart to Neon. On top is a birthday cake and a bottle of champagne.
"Yay! Kurapika, will you sing Happy Birthday to me?"
"Uh...sure." I light up the candles and sing to her.
"You have a very nice singing voice." She thinks about her wish before blowing the candles out.
I slice a piece of cake for her.
She takes a bite. "Yummy!" A look of disappointment crosses her face when she notices I'm not eating any of the cake. "Where's your slice?"
"I'm not hungry, thank you."
"Just one slice. It's no fun eating birthday cake alone."
She's right. I cut a small piece for myself. "Mmm...this is good."
"Pop open that bottle of champagne. Let's make a toast."
I raise an eyebrow. "Are you old enough to drink champagne?"
"Duh...why do you think they brought it to me? I'm twenty-one today, silly."
I pop open the bottle and pour two glasses.
We click the glasses together. "To an exciting future," she says. She gulps down the glass.
I nod, placing my glass back on the cart.
She gives me the side eye. "You're not having any?"
"No. I don't drink. Especially not on the job."
"You're so boring. C'mon...just a sip. It's my birthday."
"Fine. Just a sip." I put the glass to my lips. It's actually not bad. I drink the entire glass, not realizing how thirsty I was.
I push the cart away once we're finished. I turn to face Neon. She reaches up and presses her lips against the corner of my mouth.
I jump back. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Nothing. You had some frosting on your face."
"Please...just tell me next time."
"Loosen up, Kurapika."
The room starts to spin as the effects of the alcohol suddenly hit me. "I...I need to sit down."
Neon pats the empty space on her bed. "Lie down."
I practically fall on top of her bed. I stare up at her canopy as she massages my head. I could fall asleep right here.
I close my eyes. Minutes later, I feel all of my stress dissipate. The most incredible feeling takes over my entire body. "Neon...whatever kind of massage you're giving me...please...don't stop."
She giggles. "It's called a blowjob."
"Oh...right...a..." I jolt up. When and how did she manage to pull down my pants? "No...no...no." My heart rate accelerates. I wipe the sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand.
Neon gives me a confused look. "What's wrong? You were enjoying yourself just a second ago."
"Are you fuckin' kidding me?"
She covers her mouth with her hand. "Kurapika! That's the first time I heard you say that word."
"I just cheated on my wife...I'd say it's an appropriate word to use."
She climbs on top of me. "It's only cheating if you kiss me."
I crawl out from under her. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."
She takes off her lingerie and sits cross legged in front of me. Our eyes lock. Even if I was wearing a fireproof suit, her gaze would still burn through me.
She stands on her knees and begins to unbutton my shirt. My arms are frozen. How much alcohol was in that glass of champagne? No...it's not the alcohol. I'm more than capable of stopping her. The problem is...I don't want to.
Neon has always been just an employer to me. Nothing more. Sure, she's attractive. But I'm married. I don't look at women that way.
Until now. Neon's body is forbidden treasure, and it's every hunter's dream to search for something that is prohibited.
Neon traces the line between my abdominal muscles with her tongue. I should stop her now before this goes any further.
"Neon?" I gently push her away. My hand touches one of her breasts. My mouth parts as I stare down at her. I want to touch her again.
"Yes, Kurapika?" She falls back on the mattress, keeping her legs open.
My eyes fall on her center. Yours is the only one I've ever seen before. Why does the heart of Neon's femininity look so different? She spreads her labia apart with her fingers, exposing her most intimate part to me. I move closer to her, running my hands up her torso, stopping at her breasts. Even though she's laying down, they don't fall to the sides.
Neon takes one of my hands and moves it down in between her legs. "Kurapika, please. I promise...I won't tell (Y/N)."
I press one of my fingers inside of Neon. A moan escapes her lips. I continue to explore her until the sound of my phone vibrating brings me back to reality.
"Uh...I should get that. It could be one of the other guards." I pull my hand away from her to search for my phone.
My eyes widen when I look at the screen. My favorite picture of you appears with the option to accept or decline your call.
Neon turns her head to face me. "Is it your wife?"
I nod.
"Answer it," she says. "I promise to be quiet."
I swipe to the right. "(Y/N)?"
"Hey, darling. Your dinner is getting cold. I just want to know if you'll be home soon."
"Uh...yeah. I'm just waiting for Melody to relieve me. I can't leave my boss alone."
"Okay. Well..e home as soon as you can. I miss you."
"I...I miss you, too."
"Be safe. I love you."
I stare down at Neon. "I love you, too." I end my call and toss my phone to the side of the bed.
Neon giggles. "That was so sweet. She's lucky to be married to you."
I position myself on top of Neon. "Yeah. I should stop. I've already gone too far."
She reaches down and positions me directly in front of her entrance. I can already feel her warmth.
"Exactly. You're already in trouble. Why stop now?"
I push myself inside of Neon. "You're right." I give her a few seconds to adjust before pulling back. Tears fall down her cheeks. "Am I hurting you?"
She shakes her head. "No...keep going."
I pull back before thrusting into her. I start slow. She feels...different. The excitement of feeling something new runs through my veins as I pick up the pace.
Minutes pass. All of my stress is gone. For once in my life, I can be selfish. I don't even need to worry about satisfying Neon because she's not mine. It's all about me, and I feel a sudden rush of pleasure.
She screams my name as she shudders against my body. I feel her walls contract around me. Damn...it's too good. I thrust into her a few more times before pulling out, stroking myself as I explode all over her abdomen.
My body convulses as I fall next to Neon. I breathe heavily as I recover from one of the most intense orgasms of my life. She turns to face me.
"Next time, I want you to do that on my face," she says.
My brain processes what I've just done. "Next time?"
She sits up and claps her hands. "Yay! My birthday wish came true!"
"Your birthday wish?"
She smiles at me. "Yes. My wish was for you to take my virginity."
I sit up in bed. "Wait...you're a virgin?"
She wraps her arms around me. "Well...not anymore. Thank you, Kurapika. It was amazing."
Euphoria fades into guilt as I reach for my clothes. I think about how terrible of a person I am while I get dressed. Not only did I just have an affair with my boss, I took away her virginity. It's something special she should have given to someone she was in love with.
Neon throws something at me while I pull on my suit jacket. I bend down to grab it. "What's this for?" I inspect the key that is attached to some kind of cat keychain.
She puts on her pajamas. "It's a key to my room. I know you already have one because you're my bodyguard, but use this one when you want to do fun things with me."
I slide the key into my pocket even though I know this won't be happening again.
"Uh...Melody is probably waiting for me. I'll see you tomorrow."
Neon grins from ear to ear. "Buh-bye!"
I find Melody standing next to the door outside Neon's room. We don't say anything to each other. Instead, she judges me with her eyes. I don't know how long she has been waiting for me, but it doesn't matter. My heart beat can be heard from miles away. She knows exactly what I did.
I run downstairs to my car. On my drive home, I think about how only a few minutes can ruin an entire life. How am I going to tell you? And will you forgive me?
I kill the engine as soon as I park in our driveway. I stare at our house. The light is still on. That means you're waiting for me.
I rest my head on the steering wheel for a few minutes. Anger fills my heart. When did I become so weak? I lift my head back up. I pull my right arm back and punch the steering wheel, leaving a dent on the Audi symbol.
I'm afraid. I'm afraid of seeing your face when I tell you the truth.
Either way, I have to tell you. I'm going to tell you as soon as I walk inside our house.
Except...I don't.