Kurapika x Reader One-Shot Collection - Chapter 46: Chapter 46

(Y/N)
I feel like a kid every time I visit this place. From the rainbow colored walls to the brightly painted tiles on the ceiling, it reminds me more of a school than a pediatric hospital. The smaller children play random games while the older ones scroll through their phones. The younger kids probably don't know why they're here, but the older ones, they know. It's evident by the depressed looks on their faces.
I tuck my hands into my pockets after checking in. No, I'm not a kid anymore. However, I refuse to change doctors. I take a seat in one of the purple cushioned chairs. I watch the children play with puzzles and whatever those toys are called where you slide shapes around some maze. I look at the parents watching them. They all have one thing in common. Hope. Hope that their child will celebrate their next birthday. You see, this isn't just any pediatric hospital. I look up at the colored letters above the front desk. Oncology.
"There's my favorite patient," Dr. Paradinight says as he extends his arm to me.
I stand from my seat and shake his hand. "You say that to everyone, don't you?"
He wraps his arm around my shoulder. "Yeah. I mean it when I tell you though." He walks me towards the locked doors. He scans his badge and looks my way. "You look like you have lost weight since the last time I saw you. Are you eating?"
I shake my head as we continue to walk down the hallway. "Not really. You know these treatments make me nauseous."
He stops walking. "I gave you medication for that."
I stand in front of him, looking at my feet. "I know. I'll start taking it. I promise."
He flails his arms in the air. "(Y/N), do you want to get better or not? If you want me to continue being your doctor, you have to be compliant. You're lucky I took you back after you decided to stop treatments."
He grabs my chart from the rack behind him. I follow him into one of the rooms.
I hop on the exam table. The sound of the paper crinkling beneath me fills the silence. "You're right. I'm sorry."
He reads through my chart. "Do you need me to increase the dose of your antidepressant?"
I give him a blank stare.
He sighs. "Let me guess. You're not taking those either."
I look to the side, avoiding eye contact with him. "No. They make me feel like a zombie. I'm afraid if I'm given a moment of happiness, I'll miss the feeling."
He puts my chart down and walks closer to me, taking his stethoscope off his neck. "Are you telling me you've never felt happy before?"
"I mean...yeah...as a kid. I'm sure the feeling is different now."
I take some deep breaths, allowing him to listen to my lungs.
He places his stethoscope back behind his neck. "You know what you need?"
"A miracle?"
"No. You leave that part to me. What you need is a date with a hot chick."
I scratch my head. "Oh, yeah?"
"Yes." He looks around the desk. After finding a brochure, he hands it to me. "Doctor's order. Go to one of these support groups and ask a girl out. I want to hear all about it during our next visit."
I pretend to read through the brochure. I always felt these support groups were a waste of time.
"I'll think about it," I lie.
His phone rings. "Excuse me." He pulls it out of his pocket and turns around while he answers it.
I feel the corners of my lips move upward into a smile. Like clockwork, his friend calls him at this time during my appointments. He's usually waiting for Dr. Paradinight out in the lobby. In fact, I've changed my treatment schedule just so I can see him.
Once we finish with my exam, Dr. Paradinight walks me to the treatment room. Recliners line up against the walls. I sit down in my usual seat, and wait for the nurse to access the port in my chest.
My eyes fall on the blonde leaning against the desk outside the room. He must feel my gaze because he looks my way. I quickly hang my head. I wait a few seconds before looking at him again.
I don't even feel pain when the nurse pierces my skin with the needle. I'm too focused on studying the blonde's features. He's not too tall, maybe five-seven or eight. His suit covers his small frame. His large eyes have a distinct curve to them. I can't tell what color they are from where I'm sitting, but I'd give anything to know.
Damn. I've never felt this way about anyone before. To be completely honest, he's the reason why I decided to start my treatments again. I hope to get better and maybe introduce myself to him. I know it's a long shot, but who knows?
Okay, back to his features. I've never seen such alluring lips, especially on a man. I bet he has a great smile. You know, one of those smiles that makes the sun shine brighter.
"What's so funny?" the nurse says.
She snaps me back to reality. Was I laughing?
"Oh...uh...just thought of something funny my friend said," I lie.
I don't have any friends.
Dr. Paradinight shines his penlight in my eye. "Well?"
"Well...what?"
He clicks off the light. "Well...how did the support group go? Did you find yourself a cute girl?"
Right. He wanted me to attend one of those stupid support groups.
"Oh. Sorry. I forgot," I say. No sense in lying to him.
He squints his eyes, studying my expression.
"Or a...cute boy?" he says, raising an eyebrow.
I give him a half smile.
He pats me on the shoulder. "I knew it! So...what's his name?"
His name. Dammit. I don't even know his name.
"Uh...I was hoping you could help me with that."
He jumps back. "Huh? Me?"
I nod. "Yeah. Your blonde friend."
He furrows his brow. "You mean Kurapika?"
Kurapika.
I'm already picturing his name next to mine like a schoolgirl.
"Is he seeing anyone?"
He starts to laugh. "Kurapika? Hell no."
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing. Let's just say...Kurapika isn't really the dating type."
I look at him with pleading eyes. "Can you just try? Please? I am your favorite patient, after all."
He places his chin between his thumb and index finger. "Hmm. But what about your prognosis?"
I grab his arm. "I'm not saying I want to get married. I just...you know...want to experience a little magic before I die."
He lowers his eyebrows. "Hey. No talk about dying. You're far from that."
"So...is that a yes?"
He sighs. "I'll do what I can. You don't know Kurapika. He's not the easiest to get along with. But don't get me wrong. He's got a big heart." He stares at my mouth. "Is that a smile I see?"
I cover my mouth. "Uh...I guess it is."
"In that case, I'll do whatever it takes to get Kurapika to go on a date with you."
I raise my index finger. "One thing, Dr. Paradinight. You can't tell him I'm your patient. Or anything about my condition for that matter. You know, doctor patient confidentiality."
He takes a deep breath. "Right."
Kurapika
I roll my eyes when I see the grin plastered all over Leorio's face. I haven't even taken my shoes off and he's already pestering me. What the hell was so important that he couldn't tell me over the phone?
"Did you have a good day?" he says, walking toward me.
"Not really. I..."
He wraps his arm around my shoulder, and we begin to walk to the living room. "I don't really care. I just need a favor," he interrupts me.
I pull his arm off of me. "A favor? What kind of favor?"
He's silent. That's never a good sign.
I sigh. "Just tell me. The sooner you ask, the sooner I can decline and go about my evening."
He stomps his foot like a child. "Oh, c'mon. You're not even gonna give me a chance?"
I slump down on the couch. "Fine. What do you want?"
He runs over and sits down next to me. "I just need you to go on one date for me."
I raise an eyebrow. "A date? With who?"
He grabs my hands. "Just a friend. Please...it'll mean a lot to him."
I stand up, releasing his hands from mine. "No."
He jumps off the couch. "No? Just like that?"
I walk to my bedroom. "Yes. Just like that."
"Fine. But you know what?"
I stop walking, and slowly turn to face him. "What?"
He points a finger at me. "You're not just disappointing me, but my friend as well."
I cross my arms. "I'm a busy person."
He clasps his hands together. "It's one date, Kurapika. That's all I'm asking for."
It just baffles me how pathetic he can be. The desperation in his eyes makes it hard for me to say no. I let out a deep breath. "Fine. One date."
His entire face brightens as he smiles. "Really? Damn. I thought I was going to have to break one of your limbs to get you to agree."
I ignore his statement.
"What's his name?" I say.
"His name's (Y/N)."
I turn to walk away. "Tell (Y/N) I'm free tomorrow. I'd like to get this over with as soon as possible."
I walk into the bustling restaurant the next evening. The hostess greets me with a smile. I ask if someone by the name of (Y/N) checked in yet. Her smile grows. I follow her to a table situated at the corner. She tells me someone will return shortly to take our orders before walking away.
A young man stands up and bows in front of me. He's punctual and has manners. Maybe this won't be so bad after all.
I wave a hand in the air. "Please. No need for formality."
He stands up straight, extending his arm to me. "Hi, Kurapika. I'm (Y/N). It's a pleasure to meet you."
I shake his hand. "The pleasure is all mine."
We both sit down in front of each other. I honestly wasn't expecting him to be this good looking. However, his face is dripping with sweat.
"Uh...are you okay?" I say.
He grabs a napkin and dabs his forehead. "Yeah...I just...it's nice to finally meet you."
"Finally?"
He blushes. "Yeah. I kinda wanted to meet a real hunter."
I furrow my brow. "Leorio is a hunter. Aren't you two friends?"
He waves a hand in the air. "Yeah, but he practices as a doctor. I wanted to meet someone who actually hunts for a living."
I cross my arms across my chest. "I thought this was a date."
He now waves both hands in the air. "It is...I mean..." He hangs his head in defeat. "This isn't going so well, is it?"
I take a sip of my water. "There's no need to lie to me. In fact, I highly discourage it."
He straightens his posture. "Can we start over?"
I extend my hand across the table. "Sure. My name's Kurapika. Nice to meet you."
He smiles as he shakes my hand. "And I'm (Y/N)."
After dinner, the two of us take a walk around the park. I was actually planning to leave right away, but there's something different about (Y/N).
We walk on a trail. The dark sky above us sparkles.
"What's your story, (Y/N)?"
He shoots me a nervous look. "Uh...my story?"
"Yeah. You didn't talk a lot about yourself during dinner. You already know I'm a hunter. What about you?"
He looks to the sky for an answer. I honestly didn't think it was a hard one.
"I...uh...I'm a college student."
"Yeah? What's your major?"
"I haven't figured that part out yet," he says.
"Hmm...your second lie to me."
He stops in his tracks. "My second lie?"
I stand in front of him. "Yes. You first told me you wanted to meet a hunter. I knew that wasn't the truth. And I can tell you're lying now." I place my hands on his shoulders. "I don't know what Leorio told you about me, but I'm actually a nice person."
I jump back as he throws his arms around my shoulders.
"I know...I'm just really nervous." He pulls away. "The truth is, I've been watching you from afar. This might sound cliche, but whenever I see you, I get this funny feeling inside my stomach."
My mouth falls open. "That wasn't a lie."
He shakes his head. "No."
I press my palm against my forehead. "I'm flattered. However, my schedule doesn't allow for a romantic relationship. I'm sorry."
He takes my hand in his. "That's okay. I only asked for one date, and that's what I got. Thank you, Kurapika."
I look down at our hands. His thumb runs across my knuckles. "Uh...no. Thank you. I needed this."
We stare at each other for what feels like minutes. I've never ended a date with someone I actually want to see again. I instinctively reach over and press my lips against his cheek.
I feel heat rise from my shoulders to below my cheeks. I pull away, searching his eyes for approval.
His eyes are wide and full of confusion.
"I...I'm sorry," I say.
Damn. What the hell is wrong with me?
Before I have the chance to think about my actions, I feel his lips against my cheek. He pulls away wearing a smile on his face.
"You can kiss me whenever you want, Kurapika."
My eyes fall to his lips. What am I thinking? I have morals. Kissing him would be wrong.
"Have a nice rest of your evening, (Y/N)," I say with a bow.
(Y/N)
I smile as I walk into the exam room. I hop on the table and swing my legs as I wait for Dr. Paradinight.
My head turns toward the door as he walks in with my chart in his hand. He takes his pen from behind his ear and greets me.
I tilt my head to the side when I don't notice his usual smile. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah." He reaches under my shirt and places the diaphragm of his stethoscope against my back.
When he's finished, he writes in my chart. Things feel weird. He's not his usual chipper self.
"Uh...Dr. Paradinight? Is something wrong with me other than the obvious?"
He sighs. "No. You're fine. It's...Kurapika."
My eyes widen. "Kurapika? Is he sick?"
He rolls his eyes. "Lovesick. Thanks to you. He hasn't stopped talking about you since your date."
This is what winning the lottery must feel like. My smile grows until my face hurts.
Dr. Paradinight places his hand on the exam table and stares at me. "This isn't good, (Y/N). Kurapika's my best friend. I don't want him to end up with a broken heart. We both know that will inevitably happen if he starts a relationship with you."
Like a drug addict who just had his favorite brand of heroin taken away, I feel the high I felt seconds ago leave my veins.
"I'm sorry. I'll make sure to stay far away from him."
I didn't mean to go back on my word, but when I received a call from Kurapika later that evening, I couldn't turn him down. Did I tell you about his voice? Oh my Kami, it's incredibly sexy, especially over the phone. Who can reject someone with a voice that's soft yet assertive?
A second date turned into a third. A third turned into whatever number we're on tonight. We go out at least three times a week, and we've been dating for about eleven months. Anyway, the math isn't important. The fact of the matter is, I've been letting this go on for too long.
"Do you want to come back to my place?" he whispers in my ear.
I open my eyes and wait for my breathing to regulate before turning him down.
"Yes," I say.
Turns out the word no leaves my vocabulary when his finger is inside of me. I steady myself on the wall in front of me as he presses deeper. The bathroom stall of a restaurant isn't the ideal place to fool around, but we can't help it. No, we haven't gone all the way yet. But damn...just thinking about the possibility of being in Kurapika's bed makes me come.
The car ride back to his apartment is pure torture as he rests his hand on my thigh. I have to look out the window to distract myself.
We immediately start kissing as soon as we enter his apartment. He shoves me against the foyer table. Something glass shatters as it hits the floor. He doesn't bother to check. Instead, he reaches under my shirt. A moan escapes my throat as he runs his hunting hands over my skin.
The scent of a strong cologne fills my nose as we kiss. I know it's not coming from him. Shit. I know who this scent belongs to.
"Good evening, lovebirds," Dr. Paradinight says.
Kurapika blushes as his lips leave mine. He turns around to greet his friend.
"Sorry, Leorio. I thought you were working tonight." Kurapika takes a deep breath before making eye contact with me. "I apologize, (Y/N). I failed to mention my roommate. I believe you two already know each other."
I knew they were best friends, but Dr. Paradinight never told me they were roommates.
I nod as Dr. Paradinight and I stare at each other. "Yeah. We know each other."
"I hope it doesn't bother you," Kurapika says. "But rest assured we are nothing more than friends. In fact, I bet he has a random woman waiting in his bed as we speak."
The vein in the middle of Leorio's forehead bulges. "Shut up, Kurapika! If it weren't for me, you two wouldn't be together."
Kurapika hangs his head. "You're right. I should be thanking you. My life has been better ever since I met (Y/N)."
My jaw drops. "Kurapika, do you really feel that way?"
Dr. Paradinight grabs my arm and yanks me away from Kurapika.
"Sorry, but (Y/N) and I need to have a little talk."
"Sure," Kurapika says. "Just don't keep him for too long." He presses his lips against my ear. "I'll be in my bedroom. It's the one on the right."
My mouth waters as I watch Kurapika walk down the hallway and into his room.
"Ahem," Dr. Paradinight interrupts my thoughts.
I slowly turn to face him. "I'm sorry. I know I told you I'd end it a long time ago, but then you said my scan looked better. There's hope for me, right?"
He stares at me with pity in his eyes. "You're still sick, (Y/N)."
"Just please," I say, gripping my chest. "Let me love him."
His eyes widen. "You love Kurapika?"
I nod. "I do."
Dr. Paradinight grips his hair with his hands. "No...no...no."
I stomp my foot. "Why is that a bad thing? So I'm sick. Who the fuck cares? That shouldn't exclude me from experiencing love. Some people spend their entire lives searching for it. I can see why. It's magic, and I have every right to feel it."
A stream of teardrops stain Dr. Paradinight's cheeks. "You're right. It's just...I care about you both. Just please...tell him. He has the right to know."
I wrap my arms around him. He flails his arms in the air to keep from losing his balance.
"Thank you! I promise...I'll tell him everything," I say.
Kurapika is sitting on the edge of his bed when I enter his room. I sit next to him, tucking some of his soft hair behind his ear. He grabs my waist as he lays back, causing me to fall on top of him.
"What was that all about?" he says, running his right thumb across my lips. He leaves the metallic taste I love so much in my mouth.
"Oh, nothing. Just the basic 'don't hurt my best friend' talk."
He lets out a laugh. "That sounds like Leorio. He means well."
My lips fall on his. I feel his erection against mine, forcing me to change position before I explode in my pants.
I fall on my side, breathing heavily. Anxiety builds in my chest.
As if sensing my apprehension, Kurapika rests his hand on my cheek.
"Hey, we don't have to go any further if you're not ready," he says.
"No, it's not that. I just...I have something to tell you."
A smile plays on his lips. "Tell me."
I think about what words I should use. Trust me, I don't want to hurt him anymore than Dr. Paradinight does.
I open my mouth, but he interrupts me with a kiss. Not just any kiss. This one is hungry.
He breaks the kiss, leaving a trail of saliva between us. "I love you, (Y/N)."
I nudge his shoulder. "You're an idiot. I was supposed to tell you first."
He smiles at me like he just won a marathon.
Okay...it's now or never. "I love you, too, Kurapika. And I have..."
He presses his lips against mine, continuing our kiss. I guess the truth will have to wait. There's no way I'm ruining this moment.
He grinds his hips against mine. Damn these clothes are in the way.
He glides his tongue down my neck as he unbuttons my shirt. "Move in with me."
I throw my head back as he leaves a trail of kisses down my torso. He stops below my belly button and unbuckles my belt.
He stands up and pulls my pants and underwear down. My dick slaps my stomach as it bounces free. Before he has the chance to grab it, I stand on my feet in front of him.
"No fair. You're still fully dressed," I say.
"You're more than welcome to change that." His voice is deep with passion.
I slowly unbutton his shirt. My mouth hangs open as I stare at his V. My hand involuntarily wraps around my growing erection. I stroke myself as Kurapika takes the rest of his clothes off.
Sweat drops form on my forehead as he mimics my moves. I rest my free hand on his waist for balance as I close the gap between us. A shiver runs down my spine when my dick brushes against his.
He looks at me through half-lidded eyes. I take the chance and line up my aching shaft with his. I grasp them both with my hand. He lets out a moan. I look into his deep crimson eyes as I glide my hand up and down.
"Don't stop," he says.
Stop? I wouldn't stop if someone placed a gun to my head.
The heat between our bodies intensifies as I pick up the pace. Kurapika rests his chin on my shoulder and moans in my ear.
"Take me," he says.
The sound of his voice travels through me.
I swallow hard when I realize what he said. He wants me to take him?
I pull my hand away and wrap my arms around his waist. He's a bantamweight, making it super easy to pick him up. I pull down the comforter and lay him down.
We laugh as I plant kisses all over his face. What they show you in the movies is nothing compared to being in love in real life.
Flashing lights appear around Kurapika. I close my eyes, and they're still there. Damn. I didn't know love came with side effects.
The look in his eyes tells me he's ready.
"Do you have any...umm..." I say.
Kurapika points to his nightstand. "Top drawer."
I reach over and open the drawer, pulling out the tube of lubricant.
After rubbing a good amount on my length, I position myself in front of him, lifting his leg up. He takes a deep breath and holds it in as I slowly enter him.
My virginity vanishes. It's something I thought I was going to die with.
Kurapika clenches his jaw. He takes short rapid breaths so I stop when I'm halfway inside.
"It's okay...don't stop," he says.
The Heavens do like me. I pull back a little before pushing myself further inside. His heat envelops me like a warm blanket. His ring tightens around me as I thrust in and out. It's almost daring me not to come.
I stare at Kurapika as I make love to him. His blonde hair is sprawled all over the red pillowcase. Pink clouds rest on his cheeks. His mouth is slightly parted, inviting me to taste him. I reach down, accepting his invitation. His tongue is velvety soft against mine. I can't help but take greedy pulls at it. His moans vibrate throughout my body, bringing me close to my sweet rapture. No. Not yet. I want this moment to last. How can torture feel so good?
My hand finds his and our fingers interlock. I use my other hand to stroke him, exploring the part that makes him a man.
He thrusts his hips up. I can't comprehend the words that are coming from his mouth as his body stiffens beneath me. Warm liquid coats my hand.
I feel an immeasurable amount of pleasure that starts in my groin and spreads down my spine. My eyes close on their own as my body convulses. The white flashes return when I open my eyes again.
I thought I knew what an orgasm felt like, but boy was I wrong. It's a mind-altering experience that you feel throughout your entire body. Not one of those weak ones that last three seconds when you do it yourself.
I wait until I completely fill Kurapika before pulling out and falling on top of him. We hold each other, ignoring the sticky mess between us. I feel his rapid heartbeat against my chest.
He kisses my forehead.
I use whatever strength I have left to balance myself on my forearms. I offer him a lazy smile.
"I thought hunters weren't supposed to steal," I say.
He furrows his brow. "I'm sorry?"
"You're a thief."
"Excuse me? What exactly did I steal?"
"My heart," I say.
The corners of Kurapika's lips curve upward into a playful smile. He punches my shoulder. "That was pretty cheesy."
My abdomen flexes as I let out a laugh. "I know, but it's true."
"Well...that's okay because you stole mine as well. I guess we're even."
I kiss his lips. "Two wrongs don't make a right."
He cups my cheeks with his hands. "Who said anything about being wrong?"
I let out another laugh. "Okay...now who's being cheesy?"
He sits on his elbows. "You can get off of me now. We both could use a shower."
I can't disagree.
Kurapika and I kiss as the hot water rains on us. He pulls away.
"You never answered my question earlier," he says.
I pump some shampoo into my hand and begin to lather his hair. "What question?"
"About moving in with me. What do you say?"
He pumps shampoo into his own hand and massages my scalp. If he doesn't stop, I'm going to flow down the drain with the water.
"(Y/N)?"
I place my hands on his soapy chest, tracing his muscles with my fingers. "You kinda didn't ask me. You told me. And I can't say no to you."
I can't tell if those are tears running down his cheeks or just water. He grins from ear to ear as he pulls me in for a hug.
"We can start looking for our own place tomorrow. This apartment is too small for three people."
I open my mouth to tell Kurapika the truth about me, but he stops me with a kiss. As much as my heart wants to tell him, I slow down to savor this incredible moment.
Kurapika hands me a pair of pajamas once I finish drying off. He places pillows on what will be my side of the bed.
"We can purchase a bigger bed if you'd like," he says.
I sit down on the soft mattress. "No. This size is perfect. It forces me to sleep close to you."
Kurapika sits next to me. "In that case, we'll get a smaller one."
Instead of reaching over to give him a kiss, I stare at nothing. The sensation of hundreds of needles piercing my skin makes it impossible to move. I can see my own heartbeat as my head throbs.
Kurapika is shaking me, but I can't seem to focus on anything but the blank space in front of me.
He waves his hand in my face. His lips are moving, but instead of words, I hear nothing. My muscles twitch involuntarily as I fall to the floor.
Fear crosses Kurapika's face. Dr. Paradinight runs into the room. Then I see...darkness.
"(Y/N), baby...wake up," says Kurapika as I open my eyes.
"Kura...pika?"
Kurapika squeezes my hand. He lets out a deep breath of relief. "Thank Kami. You're okay."
I take in my surroundings. Fuck. What am I doing here? I turn my head back to Kurapika.
"What...happened?"
He pulls down the bed rail and sits down next to me. He combs my hair away from my face with his fingers. "You had a seizure. But don't worry...they're running tests to find out why."
Dr. Paradinight walks into my room. Kurapika's face brightens when he sees him.
"Hey, Leorio! Did you find anything out? When can I take (Y/N) home?" Kurapika returns his attention back to me, nuzzling my neck. "I'm going to take such good care of you when we get home. You'll probably get sick of me." He smiles.
"Sick of you? Never," I say.
Dr. Paradinight opens the chart he's holding. "(Y/N). We should discuss your MRI results."
Kurapika straightens his posture as he turns to face his best friend.
I press the button on the side of my bed to raise my head. "Yes, Dr. Paradinight?"
Kurapika furrows his brow. He looks at me then back at Dr. Paradinight.
"Wait. Why did you just call him Dr. Paradinight? Aren't you two friends?"
Silence fills the room. All that can be heard is the constant humming of my IV and the heart monitor over my bed.
Kurapika crawls out of my bed. "Wait a minute...I never did ask how the two of you know each other." I see his throat roll as he swallows hard. "Leorio, is (Y/N) one of your patients?"
"Kurapika, I'm so sorry," he says, hanging his head.
Kurapika closes his eyes. "(Y/N), how sick are you?"
"I'm sorry, Kurapika...I meant to tell you...but the timing was never right."
Kurapika opens his eyes and flails an arm in the air. "Will the two of you stop apologizing and just answer my damn question? (Y/N), how sick are you?" Kurapika says, anger evident in his voice.
I chew on my knuckle. "I have an astrocytoma."
"What's that?"
"It's a type of brain tumor."
Kurapika winces. "Is it curable?" He looks away as if he's afraid of what my answer will be.
I shake my head. "No. They told me I have five years. That was six years ago."
He finally looks my way.
Kurapika
I can't tell if I'm irate or full of sorrow. Is there an in between? Because if there is, that's what I'm feeling. It hasn't even been twenty-four hours since you told me you loved me, and now I'm listening to you tell me how you should be dead.
I glance at Leorio. I know it's not his fault. You most likely convinced him to keep your diagnosis a secret from me.
"Leorio, where do we go from here?"
He clears his throat as he looks through your chart. "I...umm...actually want to go over (Y/N)'s MRI results."
You look in Leorio's direction attentively.
Leorio pulls up a chair and sits next to you. His long arm extends to your shoulder.
"(Y/N), I'm sure you know what I'm about to tell you based on your recent seizure."
You take a deep breath.
I can tell Leorio is trying to act more like a professional than a friend.
"Your astrocytoma...it developed into a glioblastoma."
You bury your face into your hands.
I raise my hand. "Can you put that in layman's terms?"
Leorio's eyes are full of pity as he stares at me. "It's a fast-growing brain tumor."
I turn around and pinch the bridge of my nose to keep from crying. You just gave me your heart...why are you taking it back so quickly?
I turn back around and walk toward your bed. Leorio is listening to your heart with his stethoscope.
"Can I listen?" I say, sitting closer to you.
Leorio takes the stethoscope out of his ears and wipes the earpieces with an alcohol wipe. "Go ahead."
I grab the stethoscope from Leorio. I put it in my ears, pressing the diaphragm against your chest. I close my eyes, allowing the lub-dub sound to fill my ears.
I can't hold it in any longer. Tears stream down my cheeks. "It's the most beautiful sound in the world."
You take the stethoscope out of my ears. "You're the reason why it beats."
I take your face in my hands. "I always wondered if there was someone out there stupid enough to fall in love with me. Now I know why you did...it's because you have a brain tumor."
You punch me in the shoulder. "It was my heart that chose you. Not my brain."
I let out a small laugh. "I'm glad it did."
A look of concern crosses your face. "Hey, Kurapika? What if I told you about my cancer earlier? Would you have broken up with me?"
I take a few strands of your hair between my fingers. "Don't ask stupid questions. There's nothing in this world that could keep me away from you."
I turn around to face Leorio. "What now? What options do we have?"
"That all depends on (Y/N). We can continue treatment, buying him a little more time, or focus on keeping him comfortable."
I grab your hand. "You hear that, (Y/N)? You can continue treatment."
You're silent with your eyes downcast. "Kurapika, I know you want me to continue treatment, but the truth is, I'm exhausted. You didn't know this, but I was going through with them this entire time. I just want to live out what little I have left of my life with you."
I feel my bottom lip tremble. "So...you want to give up?"
"No. I'm just tired of delaying the inevitable."
"I just...I don't get it. You don't look sick."
You offer me a soft smile. "That's how I know you're truly in love with me. You never once noticed the bags under my eyes or my thinning hair. And as far as symptom management goes, you can thank your friend for that. He's the best at what he does."
I cross my arms over my chest and turn my attention to Leorio. "How can we get (Y/N) home? I want to honor his wishes."
A few weeks pass by, and I slowly open the door to our apartment. I take off my shoes and quietly place them on the rack. I tiptoe to the living room to check on you. The curtains are drawn closed and the television's volume is barely audible. Light and sound exacerbate your migraines so Leorio and I make sure to keep everything as comfortable as possible for you.
You lift your head up from the pillow. "Kurapika?"
I sit on the couch next to you. "Hey, handsome. Happy Anniversary."
You push the comforter off and wrap your frail arms around me. Where did this energy come from?
"You remembered!" you say.
I run my hands up and down your back, feeling every one of your ribs. "Did you expect me to forget? How insulting." I pull away from you and press my forehead against yours. "How are you feeling? Are the headaches getting better with the new medication Leorio prescribed you?"
"I don't need medication as long as you're around." You take my hair into your hands and place the locks behind my head. "Did I ever tell you you'd look good in a ponytail?"
I push your arms away. "No ponytail."
You frown. "Oh, c'mon. It could be my anniversary present."
I reach into a bag and pull out a box. I made sure to wrap it in your favorite color.
Your eyes widen. "Kurapika, why would you get me a present?"
"Why wouldn't I? You're the love of my life. Now open it."
Like a kid on Christmas morning, you rip open the package. Your jaw drops as soon as you notice its contents.
"Kurapika, it's beautiful. But...why?"
"You're a Kurta." I tug at the bottom of your pajama top. "Let me help you put it on."
"But...I haven't bathed yet. I want to be clean before dressing in such elaborate clothing."
"Then I shall help you," I say, getting off the couch and standing in front of you.
I help you balance as you stand up. I hold you close while we walk to the bathroom.
"Do you feel dizzy?" I say, running your bath.
You sit on the toilet. "A little, but I'll be fine."
After helping you undress, I hold your hand as you walk into the bathtub. You wince, pressing your palm against your forehead.
"Are you okay? Does your head hurt?" I say. "(Y/N), if you need medication, take it."
You allow your arm to fall to your side. "No. They make me drowsy and I haven't given you your present yet."
Even with brain cancer, you still put others first.
I shampoo your hair. Strands fall out as I rinse it. "Fine. I'll make this quick." I take the bar of soap and lather your body. It's only been a few weeks since you stopped treatment, and you already lost quite a bit of weight. The nausea doesn't help, but luckily we have Leorio for that. He came up with a wonderful concoction for your nausea.
I wrap a towel around you when I finish your bath. You shiver as I pat you dry.
You look away from your reflection when you pass the mirror. My heart sinks to my stomach when I see the disappointment in your face.
I find a hairbrush and pull out the blow dryer from under the sink. "Hey, let me style your hair for you."
You throw down the lid to the toilet and flop down on top of it. "What's the point? I'm still gonna look like shit."
"Not another word. I'm not lying when I tell you how handsome you are."
I style your hair, careful not to hurt your head with the brush. You look back in the mirror once I'm finished. "Is that a smile I see?" I say.
"Maybe. Now help me get that tabard on. I want to be dressed like you."
Once I help you get dressed, you run your hands over the royal blue and gold tabard.
"It suits you well," I say.
"Thank you, baby. This is the best present I've ever received."
I hold your hand as we walk back to the living room. I kiss your cheek as soon as we sit down. You reach under the couch cushion and pull out a tiny box.
"Happy Anniversary." You hand me the box.
"What? How did you leave the apartment to get me a present?"
"I got it months ago. Open it."
It's my jaw's turn to drop. "(Y/N)!" I take the platinum ring out of the box and examine the engraving around it. "Chains?"
You nod. "You wrapped my heart with your chains. I wanted to ask you to marry me the night we made love, but we both know how that ended."
Tears stream down my cheeks. I wipe away my tears, trying to keep myself composed. I reach into my pocket and pull out my second gift for you.
"What's this?" you say, taking the box from my hand.
"Just open it."
You flip open the box, gasping when you see its contents. "Kurapika, no. This can't be happening."
I smile as you stare at the ring in your hand. It's almost identical to the one you gave me. It amazes me how much we know each other.
You begin to sob. I wrap my arm around your shoulder. "Hey, what's wrong?"
You sniffle. "You tell me I'm a Kurta, but we both know I'm not. I want to be your husband."
I wipe the tears away from your eyes with my thumbs. "Then let's get married. Today."
You crinkle your forehead. "But...how? I can't even walk to the bathroom without help."
My phone is already in my hand. "Then we'll have someone come here."
I change into my tabard to match the one I had made for you. All of our friends come over to witness us exchange vows.
I can tell you're getting tired so I kindly ask them to leave.
Once I lock the door, I turn back around and notice you're staring at our marriage certificate.
You hold it up in the air. "Look. We have the same last name."
I sit down next to you. "Yes, we do."
You place it on your lap. A melancholy expression crosses your face. "I'm sorry, Kurapika. It's our wedding night and I don't have the energy to even kiss you. Much less physically express my love to you."
"Come here." I pull you close to me. "As long as you're right next to me, I'm happy."
"I love you," you say.
"And my everlasting love is yours."
You fall asleep on my shoulder. I smile, picking you up and taking you to our bedroom. I tuck you in, kissing your cold lips.
I sneak in under the covers and watch as you dream. I hope you're dreaming about me.
I'm surprised when you wake up an hour later. You must be hungry. You haven't eaten all day.
You sit up in bed looking confused.
I sit beside you, wrapping my arm around your waist. "Hey, baby. Would you like me to get you a piece of wedding cake? Or perhaps some tea?"
You fall into my chest. "Oh, Kurapika. Thank goodness. I had a terrible dream. And my head hurts like hell."
The moonlight pours in through the window. I notice the look of fear on your face.
"I'll grab your medicine. And I'll bring you some cake. We haven't sliced it yet."
"I don't think I can swallow cake. But tea sounds nice."
"I'll be right back." I kiss your cheek.
"Hey, Kurapika?"
I tilt my head. "Yes?"
"The doctors tell me the flashing lights I see are caused by the tumor. I tell them no because they only appear when I see you."
I feel my face contort as I begin to sob.
I kneel in front of you, grasping your hands. "(Y/N), you truly are the best human on this planet. Thank you for loving me. I'm eternally grateful."
I kiss the ring on your left hand.
I pour your cup of tea and make it just the way you like it.
I walk back to our bedroom, smiling when I notice you fell back asleep. I set your cup of tea on the coffee table. I connect my phone to the bluetooth speaker and search for our song. I press play, turning around and placing my arms under your feeble body. I lift you up, and slowly spin you around. I whisper the lyrics in your ear as we dance. I don't know if you're fully conscious, but I don't care. It's our wedding night, and we deserve a first dance as husband and husband.
Once the song ends, I carefully place you back in bed. This feels surreal. Me. Kurapika Kurta is married. To you. A kind-hearted person I thought I didn't want to go out with.
You grab my arm before I have the chance to turn off the bedside lamp.
"Kurapika?" you whisper.
"Yes, my love?"
"Thank you for the dance. I think I'll have some wedding cake with my tea after all. I want to smear frosting all over your face."
I let out a laugh. "You got it."
When I return with our slices of cake, I notice your mug on the floor. I put our plates on the nightstand and kneel to pick it up.
"Poor thing. You should have waited for me," I say. I walk to the bathroom to grab a stack of towels. I come back and throw the towels on the floor to soak up the tea. "Would you like me to make you another cup to go with your cake?"
You don't respond.
"Did you fall asleep again, sleepyhead?"
I stand up and turn to face you. I pick up your arm that is hanging off the bed.
"(Y/N)?"
I stand frozen in place. I feel my throat roll up and down as I swallow hard.
"Leorio!" I manage to shout.
He comes rushing in. "Yeah? Is everything okay?"
I don't answer. Instead, I continue to watch you sleep.
Leorio follows my line of sight and immediately grabs your arm, feeling for a pulse. He hangs his head.
I take a few steps back. "No. Don't tell me. I don't want to hear it."
Leorio fluffs the pillow behind your head and covers you with the comforter. "Kurapika?"
"I said I don't want to hear it, Leorio!"
I've been injured in battle many times, but nothing compares to the pain of having your heart split in two. Half of me is gone. The only way I know how to cope is to throw things around my bedroom. I start with the slices of wedding cake on the nightstand.
Leorio finally stops me before I punch a hole through the wall.
"Kurapika! That's enough." He restrains me with his arms.
The pain is unbearable. I scream. I sob. Leorio tries to comfort me, but I push him away.
"It's unfair, Leorio!"
Leorio pulls me and rests my head against his chest. "I know, buddy." I can tell he's holding back his own tears for my sake.
"I left for one minute...one fucking minute! Maybe if I never left his side..."
Leorio rests his hands on my shoulders and stares into my eyes. "Kurapika, there's nothing you could have done. We all knew this was going to happen."
"So I should just accept it and move on? Is that what you're telling me?"
Leorio falls to his knees. The tears he was holding finally make their way down his cheeks. "No. You break whatever the hell you want. I won't stop you."
I stare at my best friend. I always thought doctors eventually became numb to death. Especially in his specialty. But not Leorio. He has a heart. That's why he strived to become the best at what he does. Because he cares. (Y/N) was more than his patient. (Y/N) was his friend, and I can tell his heart is hurting.
Two months later
I stare at the cursor on my screen as I spin my wedding ring around my finger. The door creaks open. I turn to look over my shoulder.
"Hey, Leorio."
Leorio pulls up a chair and sits next to me. "Whatcha working on?"
I lean back in my chair. "I'm trying to put together my favorite memories of (Y/N). I just don't know where to start."
A chuckle escapes Leorio's throat.
I feel my brow furrow. "What's so funny?"
"I never told you this, but you actually met (Y/N) long before your first date."
Shock travels through my veins. "Huh? When?"
"It was the day he was diagnosed with brain cancer. You came up to have lunch with me and saw him waiting for his parents in the waiting room. He was only sixteen back then, but I remember watching you try to comfort him."
I stare at nothing as the memory floods my brain. "You're right! I recommended my favorite books to him. He never told me his diagnosis, but I knew he received bad news that day."
Leorio places his elbow on the desk and rests his head in his hand. "And do you know what he asked me after meeting you?"
I shake my head.
"He asked me if flashing lights was a side effect of brain cancer because he saw them around you."
A tear rolls off my cheek and I immediately start to type.
"Tell me more, Leorio. I want to know everything about (Y/N)."
"He was just as stubborn as you." He laughs. "I had to threaten to fire him as a patient if he continued to be noncompliant. But we both know that wasn't true. I loved that kid. Nothing brought me more joy than watching him grow into an adult."
"Thank you for taking such good care of him. You have our gratitude." I log into one of my bank accounts. "I'd like to donate some money to your hospital. I want it to go directly to brain cancer research."
Leorio's mouth falls open. "How much?"
I put my chin between my thumb and index finger. "How does seventy-three million jenny sound?"
Leorio falls out of his chair. "Are you serious?"
I proudly stroke the gray ribbon tied to my suit jacket, smiling. "Yes, Leorio. And that's just the beginning. I want to put an end to this monster they call cancer."