Kurapika x Reader One-Shot Collection - Chapter 60: Chapter 60

"I'm pregnant," you say.
The room grows silent. It takes my brain a few minutes to comprehend what those words mean.
You're pregnant. That means a baby is growing inside of you. My baby. The corners of my mouth move upward into a smile. I'm going to be a dad!
"Kurapika?"
I jump back to reality. Right...you're not feeling well. I run to you and sit behind your frail body.
"What can I do?"
I hold your hair back while you continue to regurgitate. Once you're finished, you lay your head on my chest. I wrap my arms around you.
"Kurapika, are you happy?"
I kiss your temple. "Am I happy? That small word can't define how I'm feeling right now."
You close your eyes. A tear runs down your cheek. "How did this happen? I mean...I thought I ruined my chances of getting pregnant."
"The doctor said it might be more challenging, but he never said it was impossible. Besides, you're doing great with your eating. You gained two pounds this week!"
You practically jump out of my arms. "What did you just say? I gained two pounds? I just found out I'm pregnant and I'm already gaining weight?"
Your body trembles.
I stand up and place my hands on your shoulders. "Hey...it's okay. That's a good thing."
You storm out of the bathroom. I follow you until you reach the front door.
"(Y/N), where are you going?"
You slip on your shoes. "I just need to be alone right now."
I put on my own shoes. "No. I'll leave. Just call me when you're ready for me to come back."
You push me away. "No. I need some fresh air."
I nod. "Right. Okay. Just please...stay safe."
You roll your eyes. "Oh, please. We live in the safest neighborhood in the world. My safety is the last thing you have to worry about."
"That is true. However, I'll always worry about your safety. Even if we were the last two people on this planet."
You grab your purse and turn the doorknob. "I love you."
I smile. "I love you, too. Please..e back soon."
You give me a kiss on the lips and walk out the door.
(Y/N)
I step out of the apartment building, welcoming the cool air on my face. I look over my shoulder to our bedroom window. I notice the light turn on. I bet Kurapika is calling our friends to tell them the news.
I walk until I reach the drugstore. The bell chimes when I walk inside. I walk straight back to the pharmacy.
I look to my left then my right. I sigh in relief. Thank goodness I'm the only customer here.
"Excuse me?" I say.
The pharmacy tech smiles at me. "Are you picking up a prescription?"
I shake my head. "No. I actually need to purchase Plan B."
She grabs the box from one of the shelves and rings me up.
As soon as I leave the store, I run to the nearest bench. I make sure nobody is around and take out the box.
"Dammit!" I shout.
You're supposed to take it within seventy-two hours.
I place the useless box back into the bag and throw it into the nearest trash can.
I run my hand through my hair as I begin to walk back home. What now? I can't have this baby. It will only make me fat again.
Kurapika runs to me as soon as I step inside our apartment.
"Feeling better?"
"Yeah," I lie.
He places his hand on my lower back. "I made you some ginger tea. It's great for nausea."
How many calories are in ginger? Instead of asking him, I decline. "I just want to go to bed."
"Sure. You should get some rest. Would you like me to draw you a bath?"
I put on a fake smile. "Sure. That sounds nice."
Kurapika helps me undress even though I am capable of doing it myself. "Did you have a nice walk?" he asks me.
I step into the inviting bath. "Yes. Did you tell everyone about the baby?"
He washes my back. "No. I want us to share the news together."
I stare at nothing. "I...I think I'm about to be sick again."
He grabs the trash can for me to vomit in. I can't believe I used to force myself to throw up. It's not so much fun when you can't help it.
I want to ask Kurapika to leave, but I know he'll insist on staying. Especially since he knows I'm pregnant. Damn...why did I have to open my fat mouth and tell him? I guess I had no choice. I didn't want him to think I was vomiting on purpose.
Once I'm all clean, he helps me step out of the bath. I swear, you'd think I was nine months pregnant already by the way he's holding me. He wraps a towel around me and runs to our room to grab my pajamas. I brush my teeth while I wait for him to return. I have to admit, it is pretty nice having someone do everything for you.
He tucks me into bed.
"I still have a little work to do, but I'll just be in my office if you need something," he says.
He pulls down the comforter and kisses my abdomen. "Good night, Baby Kurta. Daddy can't wait to meet you." He pulls the comforter back over my shoulders. "Sleep well, my love."
I toss and turn for the next hour. A tinge of guilt forms in the pit of my stomach. Kurapika actually wants this baby and here I am thinking of ways to get rid of it.
I finally decide to give up on sleep and crawl out of bed. I walk down the hallway to my husband's office. He doesn't hear me enter. Since his desk faces the window, all I can see is his back.
I tiptoe to him. I reach out and comb his hair away with my fingers, exposing his neck. I press my tongue over his sweet spot, earning a moan from him.
He leans back in his chair. "Ahh...yeah...right there."
I press harder, gently nibbling the delicate skin.
He spins his chair around until he's facing me. This is perfect. He watches as I pull my panties down and pull my nightgown up to my waist. He unbuckles his belt, pulling down his pants and underwear. I smile. He already has an erection.
I moan as I slide down his length. He thrusts his hips up.
"Damn, (Y/N). You read my mind. I tried to concentrate on work, but you kept popping up in my head. I'm glad you're feeling better."
I use my foot to press the brake on the wheel of his office chair. It doesn't help...I ride him so hard, the chair almost falls over.
He lets out a laugh. "Hold on, babydoll. You're going to break me."
Once I start, it's hard to stop. "Uh...please...just a...uh..."
I lift my arms, allowing him to pull my nightgown off. He takes one of my breasts into his mouth.
"Mmm...seriously...this chair is going to break," he says in between sucks.
He grabs my bottom and lifts me off the chair. He slides some paperwork off to the side of his desk and places me on top. The light from his laptop casts a glow on me. My self-esteem has improved and I longer fear having sex with the lights on.
Shit. That's all about to change. In a few months, there will be a basketball in between us. Gross. I wonder if he realizes that.
I spread my legs further apart. I look up at his face. I can tell the future of our sex life is the last thing on his mind. But...it's all I can think about. I'm about to be a fat blob again. Not to mention, once the baby is here, we won't have any more spontaneous moments like this.
"(Y/N)...ahh...I'm close...you?"
The sound of his voice snaps me back to reality. "Ohh...yes. Just do that thing I like."
I throw my head back when I feel his thumb massage my clit. His aura...hot and beautiful...I feel it flow through my body as he plunges into me over and over again. The walls crash down. Hell...the entire apartment building collapses as Kurapika causes an earthquake inside of my body.
He reaches his climax as I recover from mine. He forgets to pull out...wait...he doesn't have to do that anymore. Hmm...this was his fault, wasn't it?
I can blame him all I want...it doesn't change anything.
He falls back on his chair, breathing heavily. "I...sure...wasn't...expecting...that."
I hop off his desk, grabbing my clothes off the floor. "Coming to bed?"
He doesn't hear me through his post-sex euphoria. I give him a kiss on the lips and allow him to enjoy his high.
He walks into the room seconds after I pull the covers over me. Thinking I'm asleep, he quietly changes into his pajamas. I can hear him mumble something under his breath.
"I'm going to be a dad!"
He's still thinking about that? I roll over in bed, annoyed.
"Oh, you're awake?" he says, climbing on the bed next to me.
"Yeah. I guess I have a lot on my mind." I rest my head on his chest.
"Yes. Did you call the doctor to make an appointment yet?"
I lift my head. Good thing the light is out. He can't see the face I'm giving him right now. "Kurapika, I literally just found out. The office was already closed."
He places his hand on my head, forcing me to lay back down. "Right. Well...I have to leave for work early in the morning. Please call as soon as they open."
"I will."
"Oh...and we should plan on telling our friends soon. Maybe dinner?"
Does everything have to involve food?
"Sure, darling. Whatever makes you happy," I say, trying my best to mask the annoyance in my voice.
He kisses the top of my head. "Call me as soon as you make an appointment."
"Mm-hmm."
"I'll let you sleep. I wish you pleasant dreams, my love."
Kurapika texts me at exactly one minute after eight in the morning.
Kurapika: Did you make your appointment yet?
I let out a deep breath. They literally just opened. Instead of texting him back, I call the first OB/GYN in our area that pops up on the search engine.
I text him back when I end the call.
Me: Two weeks from today.
The dots appear on my screen indicating he's typing.
Kurapika: Damn, that long? Okay. Did you research the doctor to make sure you're seeing the best one?
Now he's really starting to get on my nerves. How was I supposed to do all of that within a matter of minutes?
Me: Yeah. She's great.
Kurapika: She??
Wait...what's wrong with female doctors? Surely he's not being sexist.
Me: Yes. I feel more comfortable with a woman doctor.
Kurapika: Understood. We'll talk tonight. I love you.
Me: Love you, too.
Kurapika: One more thing: I made you breakfast. Please eat it.
I feel like throwing my phone across the room, but I stop myself. I need to call someone. Hmm...do I know anyone who would keep a secret from Kurapika? All of our friends are biased towards him.
Except...
I call Alluka.
Alluka knocks on the door within the hour. She takes off her shoes and gives me a hug. I offer her something to drink, but she declines.
"I'm so glad you called! I think the last time we saw each other was when you got married."
I motion toward the couch. "Sit. I have something I really need to talk to you about."
She obeys. She sits down with her hands crossed over her lap and patiently waits for me to start talking.
I take a seat next to her. I turn and bend my leg so we're facing each other.
"Do you promise to keep a secret?"
She smiles. "Of course."
I lift my index finger. "I'm serious, Alluka. You can't even tell your big brother."
She rolls her eyes. "Oh, please. He doesn't even know Gon and I are dating."
"Perfect." I pause. "I'm pregnant."
She gasps. "You're having a baby? Congratulations!" She kisses me on the cheek. "I bet Kurapika is beyond excited."
She's so damn cute, I can't stand letting her down with what I have to say next.
I wait until she recovers from my news before continuing. "Yeah. He is. But...I'm not."
She tilts her head to the side. "No?" She gasps again. "Wait...are you trying to tell me the baby isn't his?"
Heat rises to my cheeks. "Of course it's his. I'd never cheat on Kurapika."
She wipes her brow, sighing a breath of relief. "Then what's the matter?"
I shake my head. "Alluka, how am I supposed to grow a healthy baby when all I can think about is how much weight I'll gain?"
She nods. "I understand. Have you told Kurapika?"
I laugh. "Please...he's too excited about the baby to care about my feelings."
She continues to nod. "Right. How can I help?"
I place my hand on her leg. I take a deep breath. I'm having a hard time letting the words come out of my mouth. "Alluka, I need you to help me get rid of it."
She stares at me, wide-eyed. I watch as the color fades from her face. "(Y/N), you're not serious, are you?"
Tears well up in my eyes. "Please don't judge me." I wipe them away with my fingers. "I...I just don't even know how to take care of a baby."
Alluka wraps her arms around me and rubs my back. Her scent is so comforting. "Oh, sweetie. You know Kurapika isn't going to make you take care of this baby alone, right?"
I rest my forehead on her shoulder. "I know. And I love him...I really do. All I want is to make him happy. I just...I don't know."
She pulls away, gripping my upper arms and stares into my eyes. "Listen...I have your back no matter what. Just remember, you'll forever be keeping a secret from your own husband. The father of your child. Do you think you'll be able to forgive yourself?"
This is why I consider Alluka my best friend. Not only would she be my getaway driver, she'd help me with murder. Not because she's from a family of assassins, but because she's a great friend.
I bite the inside of my cheek. The tears stream down my cheeks. "Let's go."
Kurapika
I left work early and make a stop at the local bookstore. I buy almost every book on pregnancy. They even have some for expectant fathers.
I pull my wallet out of my pocket after placing the pile of books on the checkout counter. The cashier eyes me.
"New father?" she says.
I smile so wide my face begins to hurt. "Yes, how can you tell?"
I know it's a poor attempt at a joke, but it makes her laugh anyway.
"Congratulations," she says.
I leave the bookstore and head to your favorite store. You deserve something special.
I walk down the aisles, searching for a gift to purchase. My stomach flutters in excitement. I bet you've been excited all day thinking about the child we created together. You're going to be the best mother in the world, I can feel it.
I finally find something to buy you and head straight home.
I expect you to be a little more excited to see me when I step into our apartment. You lift your head up from the couch. Your eyes are puffy and red.
I place the bag of books on the kitchen counter. "Feeling sick, my love?" I walk to the living room and sit down next to you.
You move into a seated position. "You're home early."
I kiss your lips. "I thought I'd surprise you." I reach into my pocket and hand you the gift I bought for you.
Your eyes brighten.
"Do you like it?" I ask you.
You wrap your arms around me. "I love it!"
I smile. "It's the least I could do."
You look at the floor. "Kurapika, I have a confession."
I furrow my brow. "Yes?" You still stare at the floor, making me nervous.
Your eyes finally meet mine. "I...I told Alluka about the baby."
Relieved, laughter ripples through me. "I may have slipped and told Leorio. I apologize. I know we agreed to tell them together, but I couldn't wait."
You laugh. "Yeah? What did he say?"
"He didn't believe me at first. He was actually surprised, asking me how I had the time to make a baby. Then he started to cry."
You lean forward. "He...cried?"
"Yeah. He's excited to be an uncle." My focus shifts to the kitchen. "Right. I also bought you a bunch of pregnancy books."
You roll your eyes and smile. "Why am I not surprised?"
I stand up and walk to the kitchen. While grabbing the bag of books, I notice the breakfast I made you out of the corner of my eye. Hoping you ate some of it, I put the books back down and walk closer to the food. I stare down at it, lava flowing through my veins. I lean forward, resting my elbows against the granite. I grip my hair.
"(Y/N), what did you eat today?" I ask you as calmly as I can.
I don't hear you respond.
I lift myself up and turn around. "(Y/N)?"
I hear you run down the hallway. I follow you into the bathroom. You're already on the floor. I lean against the doorframe, crossing my arms. "Are you feeling sick?"
You make gagging noises. "Y...yes."
"Really? All of a sudden?"
You attempt to regurgitate. "I guess I get my morning sickness in the evenings."
I shake my head and push myself off the doorframe. "I'm not buying it. I know you have the ability to throw up at will."
You hang your head, avoiding eye contact with me. Don't ever play poker. You're a terrible bluffer.
I pick you up off the floor and throw you over my shoulders.
"Kurapika, where are you taking me?"
I take you into the kitchen and sit you down on one of the chairs. I leave you there as I grab a nutritional shake from the refrigerator. I open it and place it in front of you. You stare at it as if you don't know what to do.
"It's your favorite flavor. Drink it."
You push it away. "No. I don't like it."
I push it closer to you. "It doesn't matter. Drink it anyway."
Tears well up in your eyes. "Kurapika, why are you doing this?"
I sit in the chair next to you. "Something tells me you haven't eaten today."
You look away from me. "I don't have an appetite."
I slam my fist on the table. "Bullshit!"
You jump back. "Why are you cursing at me?"
"Because everything you do or don't do affects my baby."
"Your baby?" You push the chair away from the table and stand up.
"(Y/N), where are you going?"
"Away from you!"
I follow you out to the balcony. You grip the railing until your knuckles turn white. I can tell you're trying to hold in your tears. Tears I made.
"Babydoll, I'm sorry." I reach out to touch your arm.
You pull away. "Don't 'Babydoll' me."
I messed up. I shouldn't be putting extra stress on you. I sit down and run my fingers through my hair. Dammit!
All day, I envisioned us sitting on the couch talking about baby names and nursery themes. Instead, we're...fighting.
"(Y/N)," I say, standing back up. I walk until I'm standing inches from you. You don't acknowledge me. The wind blows through your hair. You lift your hand and tuck the loose strands behind your ear. Damn. You're beautiful.
I open my mouth, but the wrong words spill from my mouth.
"I gave up on my goal for you. I didn't ask to fall in love, but I did. I work at a job I hate just because it's safe and I have to think about what's best for you. I'll give you anything you want...all you have to do is ask. The least you can do for me is take care of the life growing inside of you. Is that too much to ask?"
Your mouth falls open. You slowly turn your head to look at me. I wish I could take back what I just said.
Your body trembles. You shut your eyes and clench your teeth.
I know it's useless, but I try anyway. "(Y/N), I didn't mean any of that."
"Then why did you say it?"
I grab your hand, but you yank it back.
"Don't touch me, Kurapika!"
I hang my head. "I'm sorry."
"Me too. I'm sorry falling in love with me was such an inconvenience to you."
The sound of your sobs break my heart. "That's not what I meant."
You walk away, stopping at the door. "Kurapika, I think you should leave."
The pain in my heart radiates to my stomach. I follow you back inside. "(Y/N), please. I told you...I didn't mean any of that."
You spin around and point a finger to my face. "You broke my heart, Kurapika."
Leorio opens the door and greets me. His eyes fall on my suitcase.
He laughs. "What the hell did you do?"
I push past him and slip out of my shoes. "Don't start, Leorio."
He closes the door behind him and takes my suitcase.
I slump down on his couch, burying my face into my hands. "I said some hurtful things so (Y/N) kicked me out. Now my pregnant wife is alone. I don't know what to do."
He sits down next to me and hands me his phone. "Call her from my number. She might pick up thinking it's me."
I roll my eyes. "She's not an idiot, Leorio. I'm sure she knows I'm here."
He shrugs his shoulders and puts his phone back in his pocket. "It was worth a shot." He tousles my hair. "So what did you do to piss her off?"
I tell him the terrible things I said to you.
His eyes widen. "And you're still alive?" He inspects me for injuries. "I'm surprised she didn't beat you up."
"I certainly would have deserved it." I turn to my friend. "What do I do now?"
He hands me a pen.
I give him a confused look. "What's this for?"
"The divorce papers she's gonna give you."
My hands tremble. I toss the pen to the floor and grab Leorio's collar. "You're not serious, are you? I don't want a divorce. I love her, Leorio."
He grabs my wrists and pushes me away. "Calm down. I'm just messing with ya. That girl is crazy about you."
"I...I hope so. She has no idea how much I love her."
He punches my shoulder. "Then stop being an asshole and show her."
I place my phone next to me in bed just in case you decide to call me. I toss and turn, checking it every five minutes.
I stare at it. I take a deep breath and allow my heart to take over.
My beautiful wife, I sincerely regret saying those awful words to you. I hope you know nothing I said was true. I love you and my new goal in life is to make sure you are always happy. Please forgive me.
Sleep well, my love.
Your loving husband, Kurapika
I press send and turn on my side. I close my eyes even though I won't be able to sleep.
(Y/N)
Loving husband my ASS! I press call and lift the phone to my ear.
"(Y/N)?"
"Hey, Alluka. Sorry to call so late, but you're not going to believe what Kurapika told me today."
I tell her everything.
"You kicked him out?" she says.
"Damn right, I did."
I can hear her take a deep breath through the phone. "Oh, (Y/N). I love you, but the two of you really need each other right now. Did you forget about what happened earlier?"
I hate to admit it, but she's right.
"Ugh...fine. I'll call him. I just want him to suffer a bit."
"Kay. Love you."
"Love you, too"
I hang up and stare at the ceiling.
Earlier that day...
Alluka holds my hand as we walk inside the clinic. I sign in and we sit in the waiting room. The sound of computer keys typing and shuffling of papers fill the room. Everyone is quiet. I guess this isn't the place for chit chat.
I'm taken to a room. Alluka helps me change into the ugly gown they gave me. We read through the paperwork. I stare at the signature line.
A doctor walks in. I quickly sign my name and give him the clipboard.
"I'll be right outside," Alluka says. She gives me a kiss on the cheek before walking out of the room.
The nurse positions my legs on the surgical stirrups. Everyone is expressionless like we're all committing a terrible sin.
I'm the sinner. The liar. The...murderer.
The room grows silent.
I close my eyes. I can hear the sound of my own heartbeat.
I feel a flutter below my navel. No. Impossible. It's too early.
I wince as the doctor inserts the cold speculum inside of me.
A vision of a young Kurapika appears in front of me. I jolt up.
"I can't do this. Get me out of here!"
Alluka helps me into the car. The tears stream down my cheeks as soon as she presses the ignition button.
"I'm sorry, (Y/N). I'm here if you want to talk about it."
I shake my head. "I didn't do it. I couldn't destroy something that belongs to Kurapika."
"Oh, thank Kami!" She throws herself on me, sobbing into my chest. "I was hoping you'd change your mind."
Will I ever tell Kurapika? Of course not. Some things are meant to be kept secret. I throw my pillow on the floor and grab Kurapika's. I inhale his scent. I miss him so much. Dammit...why did he have to say those things?
Two weeks later...
I pull into the parking lot to the OB/GYN's office. A familiar car is parked next to me. I glance at the driver.
Kurapika.
He gets out of his car as soon as he sees me. Right. He's here for the baby. I guess I can't deny him that.
He opens my door and holds his hand out. My eyes travel from his hand to his face. Dark bags rest under his eyes.
I grab his hand and allow him to help me out. He wraps his arms around me. He gives me a kiss on the cheek, scratching my face with his stubble. "I missed you."
I pull away, lowering my eyebrows. "Since when did you have facial hair?"
He runs his hand over his cheeks. "I guess it happens to all broken-hearted men."
We walk on the pathway that leads to the doctor's office. He grabs my hand and immediately lets go of it.
"Sorry. Habit," he says.
This office is a lot more cheery than the previous one I visited a few weeks ago. Pictures of pregnant bellies and newborn babies cover the walls. All of the employees wear a smile.
The nurse calls my name and I stand up. Kurapika follows me.
The first thing the nurse does is weigh me. Kurapika looks away as I step on the scale. I see a glimmer of light in his eyes when the nurse announces my weight. Yes, I've been taking care of myself ever since I felt the baby move.
I notice a smile on Kurapika's face when we leave the office. It appears I'm further along than we expected. My periods were irregular, so I had no idea when we conceived.
He stops walking when we get to our cars. "Thank you." He bows. "Again...I'm sorry for breaking your heart."
I wave at him. "I guess I'll see you next week for our ultrasound."
"I'm looking forward to it."
I climb into my car. I glance up at Kurapika. He's pinching the bridge of his nose while shaking his head.
Later that evening...
I drive to Leorio's apartment.
He leans on the door. "I'm happy to see you, (Y/N). You're looking nice."
"Thanks." I let myself in, looking around the apartment. "Where's Kurapika?"
He points down the hall. "Guest room. He never leaves. I've never seen him so depressed."
I glance down the hall then back at Leorio. "Well...I'm sure he told you what he did."
He nods.
I walk to the guest room. I don't bother knocking. I hold my chest when I see him. He's already in his pajamas, laying face first on his pillow. I close the door behind me and sit on the bed.
I rub his back. He flips over, eyes bloodshot.
"(Y/N)? Is it really you? Or am I dreaming?"
I comb his bangs away from his face. "It's me, baby."
He gulps in air through his mouth. "I'm sorry...so sorry!"
I move closer to him, holding his head against my chest. "I know. I forgive you." I kiss the top of his head.
He wraps his arms around me, squeezing me. "I love you, (Y/N). I love you so much."
Nothing beats makeup sex. I smile as Kurapika thrusts in and out of me. I hear the front door slam. Leorio probably couldn't handle all the noises we are making.
Kurapika holds our ultrasound picture with both hands. "That's our baby!"
Killua tilts his head to the side. "That's a baby? It looks like an alien."
Alluka kisses her brother's cheek. "That's just an ultrasound picture, silly."
Killua takes his turn pushing a wooden block out of the Jenga game, brows furrowed in concentration. "If you say so."
Kurapika threw a small party to celebrate. Our closest friends are enjoying the food and games he set up.
Gon stares at the wooden tower, figuring out which block to take out. "Do you know if it's a boy or girl?"
The tower crashes down on the table. Killua stands up, laughing and pointing a finger at his best friend.
Kurapika smiles. I love how he's happiest when his friends are having a good time.
"No," Kurapika says. "The baby wasn't in a good enough position."
Leorio slaps Kurapika on the shoulder, stuffing his mouth with a sandwich. "Stubborn...like you." He says with his mouth full.
Melody takes my hand. "I can tell what you're having if you'd like."
I shift on the couch, facing her. "Really? How?"
She places her hand on my abdomen. "The heartbeat. Boys have a higher heart rate."
Kurapika and I lock eyes. "What do you think, Kurapika?" I ask him.
He lifts his hand. "No. Let it be a surprise."
Kurapika
Six weeks later...
All of the events that occurred last night are a blur. I pace the empty waiting room while I wait for the doctor to update me.
Leorio walks in and immediately wraps his arms around me. I feel like I should be crying, but I'm too numb. He doesn't say a word.
I fill my lungs with air, pulling away. "Sorry for calling so late. (Y/N)...she went into labor." I wipe the tears away from my eyes. It appears I was crying after all. "She's only twenty-five weeks, Leorio!"
He pulls me back in. "Don't worry...that baby is strong. Don't forget who the father is."
A doctor walks in. Leorio and I give her our full attention.
"Mr. Kurta? We had to perform an emergency c-section. Mom is stable. You can see her."
I swallow hard. "And my baby?"
Doctors must hate this part of their job. She takes a deep breath. "She's in critical condition. The neonatologist will find you once they stabilize her."
Leorio catches me before I hit the floor. I have a daughter.
I slowly push open the door to your hospital room. I watch you sleep as I walk to your bed. I reach down and kiss your lips. Your skin feels cool and looks pale.
I turn to look out the window. I'm officially a father. To a girl who is currently fighting for her life.
"Kurapika?"
The sound of your voice sends relief through my veins. I run to your side. "(Y/N), my love." I grab your hand. "Are you in pain?"
You hold your abdomen, tears pouring from your eyes. "They cut our baby out of me!"
I cup your face with my hands, holding back my own tears. I'm good at that. "We'll get answers soon."
The longest hour of my life goes by. I can only imagine what you're feeling. You haven't stopped crying since you woke up. You just became a mother, earlier than expected. Not to mention the fact that you're probably experiencing the postpartum blues. I read all about it in the pregnancy books.
I read those books cover to cover. I knew what to expect during each trimester. What I failed to pay attention to was the possibility of you going into preterm labor.
Our daughter's doctor walks in and sits down in one of the chairs next to your bed. I squeeze your hand as I listen intently.
I must have been holding my breath because when he says, "She's stable," I release all the air from my lungs.
"May we see her?"
I keep my hand wrapped around yours as the nurse wheels you into the NICU. Our baby Kurta is in the corner. My mouth falls open when I see her through the isolette. Not even two pounds, she looks like a doll. Monitor leads are attached to her translucent skin. The breathing tube is taped to her mouth. Even though her eyes are closed, I can tell they look like mine.
I twist my neck to glance at you, but I can't keep my eyes off my precious child.
"Take me back to my room!" you shout.
(Y/N)
A symphony of monitors and IV pumps play in my daughter's NICU room. Tubes are all over her tiny body, making it difficult to see what she actually looks like. Kurapika stares at her in awe. What does he see?
Ugly guilt forms in my stomach and creeps into my heart. I did this to her. The doctor made eye contact with me the entire time he was explaining why this happened to her.
"Many factors increase the risk for preterm labor, anorexia nervosa being one of them," the doctor said.
I swear I saw Kurapika scowl at me when he heard this.
I developed a better relationship with food when I realized I was eating for my baby. That was until I undressed in front of the mirror one morning before my shower. My baby bump appeared out of nowhere and it sent me into panic mode. I suddenly felt fat again and cut back on my eating.
Now under this bandage, I have a scar as a constant reminder of this day. The day I let down my daughter and Kurapika.
"Take me back to my room!" I shout.
Kurapika finally takes his eyes off the baby to look at me. "What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?"
Exactly how many brain cells do men have? The number can't be big. Of course I'm not feeling well. I just had my uterus ripped open and I'm staring at my baby that may or may not make it out of this hospital.
"No. Stay with her. I need to leave," I say, trying my best to hide the anger in my voice.
I'm discharged two days later. Kurapika hasn't left the hospital and he doesn't plan on leaving until our baby is discharged. She has to stay at least twelve more weeks.
Leorio gives Kurapika a bag of clean clothes. "You should go home for a few hours. Take a shower and sleep in your own bed."
Kurapika puts a fresh pair of contacts in his bloodshot eyes. "I'll be fine."
Leorio smiles as he stares at his new niece. "Okay, stubborn ass. Just remember, you have to be strong for her."
Kurapika spins around to face his friend. "Leorio, please. No profanity around my daughter."
I agree with Leorio. Kurapika could use a nap right now. And not on this uncomfortable cot.
"Darling, I think I'm going to go home for a bit."
He gives me a surprised look. "But...the lactation consultant was coming to see you. The longer you go without pumping, the less milk you'll produce."
"Kurapika, I just had surgery. Pumping milk is the last thing on my mind."
He shoots me with his judgmental look. "To be honest, your milk probably doesn't have any nutrients since you don't eat enough."
I support my abdomen as I stand up. "Leorio, please take me home. I'm not in the mood to fight."
Kurapika comes back home later that night. I wake up feeling groggy from the pain medication.
"How is she doing?"
He takes his jacket off. "You should have stayed for rounds. She's doing a lot better."
I wince as I sit up. "Sorry. I didn't mean to sleep all day. I'm glad to hear she's doing good."
He sits next to me and gives me a kiss. "I'm glad you're awake. I'm going to take a quick shower. Get ready. We can grab some dinner before heading back to the hospital."
"Wait. You're going back?"
He looks at me like I just asked him to tell me what he liked about the Phantom Troupe. "Uh...wait. You're not?"
I grab a pillow to support my stomach. "I was planning on visiting her in the morning."
He stands up and walks to the bathroom.
"Kurapika? Do you think I'm a bad mother?"
He stops walking. "No. I just wish you cared more."
I wait until he closes the door behind him to cry.
Kurapika
Kanami Kurta, a rare beauty, is placed on my chest for the first time. Bliss wells up inside of me and for a few seconds, I'm paralyzed. Then she makes a tiny noise. My heart is overfilled with joy and I feel like I might die.
I wish you were here to experience this precious moment with me.
But you refuse to visit her. You haven't been back to the hospital since you were discharged.
You need me, don't you? I've been spending my nights with Kanami instead of helping you recover.
I rush back home to you after my visit.
I fumble with my keys and unlock the door. I'm going to make sure you know I'm here for you. I can split my time between you and Kanami...right?
The television's volume stings my ears when I enter our apartment. I take off my shoes and shout your name.
"What the hell are you doing?" I run to your side, turning off your treadmill.
You punch my shoulder. "Kurapika, you're interrupting my workout!"
I cradle you in my arms. "You're still recovering from surgery. I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to be running on a treadmill."
You go limp in my arms. "Ugh...you ruin everything. What are you doing home so early anyway?"
I place you on our bed and walk away. I fill a glass with ice and water and walk back to you.
"Babydoll?"
I place the glass on the bedside table and cover you with a blanket. You look so peaceful when you sleep. I see a lot of you in Kanami. I lay beside you, pulling you close to me. I close my eyes and...ahh...sleep.
Six weeks later...
"Will you please accompany me to the hospital? You know...to see your daughter?"
You zip your jeans and stare at yourself in the mirror. "I'd love to go, but I have my postpartum appointment today."
I can't help but stare at you as well. You truly are a stunning woman.
"I know that. I plan on going with you. Then maybe we can grab some lunch and visit Kanami."
You shoot me with your eyes. "I don't need you to go with me. Just go visit your daughter without me."
I press my palm against my forehead. "Don't you mean...our daughter?"
You pull your purse over your shoulder. "Yeah...yeah. Give her a kiss for me."
You try to walk past me, but I stop you. "(Y/N), I'm going with you. We need to talk to the doctor about your postpartum depression."
You let out a laugh. "I'm not depressed, Kurapika."
I press my forehead against yours. "Regardless. I'm still going with you."
After your appointment, you give in and accompany me to the hospital.
Your eyes widen when you see our daughter.
"Shit. She actually looks like a baby!"
I feel tears well up in my eyes as I watch you hold our daughter for the first time.
"She's beautiful, Kurapika!"
Kanami opens her eyes at the sound of your voice.
You look at me with misty eyes. "I think she actually likes me!"
I kiss your cheek. "Of course she likes you. You're her mother."
You rub her tiny hand with your index finger. "When can we take her home?"
I play with your hair, admiring the view in front of me. "She has to say at least six more weeks, unfortunately."
I watch as your lips move downward. "I can't wait. She's so pretty."
I smile, proudly. "Yes. Definitely the prettiest baby girl in the world."
That evening...
I can't seem to keep my eyes off of you. I don't know if it's because you looked so beautiful holding our baby today.
You yawn as you crawl into bed. The strap to your slip falls off your shoulder, driving me crazy.
"Are you tired, my love?"
You pull the covers over you. "A little. We had a big day. Why?"
I move closer to you. I kiss your lips then move my lips down your neck. "The doctor gave you the okay to resume intercourse. No pressure...but...want to try?"
I pull away to wait for your answer.
You bite your lip. "Sure, but be patient with me."
I steal another kiss. "Of course. If you want me to stop, just ask."
I lay you back, pulling the rest of your slip off. I stare. This feels like the first time. You're wearing that same nervous expression on your face. You cover your incision with your hand. I immediately push your hand away.
"There's no need to cover up your scar. It's my favorite part of you."
I undress and position myself on top of you, careful not to touch your incision.
I take my time kissing you, your skin satin to my lips. I move my hand down, making sure you're ready for me.
You're mine. I still can't believe you chose to give your heart to someone broken. I inhale your scent as I kiss your neck. Like gasoline, the lovely smell fills my nose and goes straight to my heart, setting it ablaze.
I clench my teeth as I press into you. I have to hold back the urge to ravish you. Slow...slow...I pull back a little then back in. Ohh...I disappear inside of you, allowing your warmth to envelop me.
"(Y/N)...you feel..."
I can't finish my sentence. I brush my lips past your collarbone, down to your breasts. I take one into my mouth, suckling gently. Sweetness coats my tongue and I smile. So that's what it tastes like.
I take your nipple out of my mouth and move my eyes down your body then back up to your face. You're...wincing.
"Am I hurting you, my love?"
I pray the answer is no. You feel so good, it would take every ounce of willpower to stop.
You grab fistfulls of blanket. Your chest rises and falls. "Take it out. Take it out, pervert!"
A simple yes would have been nicer.
I pull out. "(Y/N), what's wrong?"
You sit up, covering yourself with the blanket. Your body shakes, even though it's covered. I extend my hand to you, but you slap it away.
"Don't touch me!"
I get out of the bed and put my clothes back on. I pick up my jacket and look back at you.
"I'm sorry I find my wife attractive."
You don't say anything. Instead you stare at me with disgust in your eyes.
I pull on my jacket. "I can tell you don't want me near you. I'll get out of your way."
You bring your legs close to your chest, sobbing into your knees. "I'm sorry I can't be the perfect wife and mother."
My blood turns into lava. "I don't give a damn about perfection. I just want you. Why is that so hard for you to comprehend?"
You don't answer, which doesn't surprise me. I take slow deep breaths. I open my mouth to say something, but I decide not to say anything at all. My words will only fall on deaf ears. Instead, I turn away from you, grab my bag, throw some clothes in it, and leave.
Leorio must be at work. That's fine. I have a key to his apartment. I welcome myself in and head straight to his bar. I push away bottles of sake and soju. I need something stronger. I grab a bottle from the back and read it. Yes. Shochu. I open it and press the rim against my lips, allowing the hard liquor to pour down my throat. I lean up against the wall and slide down to the floor. I take another swig...gulp...gulp...until half the bottle is empty.
I focus on the pattern of the tile on the kitchen floor. My phone vibrates in my pocket. I want to throw it across the floor, hoping it will crack into a million pieces, but I notice it's the hospital.
"Yes? This is Kurapika."
"Good evening, Mr. Kurta. This is Kanami's nurse. The doctor wanted me to call to inform you...she developed an infection. We are treating her with antibiotics."
All I hear is...Kanami...infection...antibiotics.
I stand up, almost falling in the process. "Is she going to be okay?"
"Yes, sir. We caught it in time."
"Great. I'll be there within the hour."
I hang up and do something I shouldn't do. I call you.
You answer.
"Did the hospital call you?"
You start to say something, but I cut you off.
"Not that you give a fuck, but our daughter has an infection. Don't worry, I'll take care of her. Just like I take care of everything. You can just sit back and sulk about how you gained a few pounds. We both know that's the reason she was born early."
I hear sobbing on the other end of the phone. Drunk and angry. I shouldn't have called you. I end the call. The words are out there and I can't take them back.
I put my phone back into my pocket, find my keys, and leave the apartment. I stumble my way back to my car. I open the door and fall into my seat. The parking lot spins in front of me. Regardless, I have to see my daughter. I'm all she has.
I push down on the brake pedal and press the ignition button at the same time. I press it again. Dammit! Why won't my car start?
I run both of my hands through my hair. How am I supposed to get to Kanami?
A knock on my window interrupts my thoughts. I attempt to roll down the window. Right. The car won't start. I open my door.
"H-h-h-heeey, Lee-orio. Car won't start. Git me to the hospital."
He places his hands on my shoulders. "You're not going anywhere in your condition. Who do you think did this to your car?"
It takes me a minute to figure out what he did. "What? No. I'm goin and nuffin you can do 'bout it."
He laughs. "Oh, yeah? And how do you plan on getting there?"
I push him away. "I'll walk."
He steps back, allowing me to get out of my car. I shuffle on my feet, tripping over a curb. He laughs harder. I scowl at him. I attempt to stand back up, but...I feel...
Leorio jumps back as I empty the contents of my stomach onto the concrete. I crawl to a patch of grass, lay down, and black out.
(Y/N)
I don't have time to process the horrible things Kurapika said to me. I throw on some clothes and head straight to the hospital.
To my surprise, Kurapika is not there.
The neonatologist reassures me that Kanami is going to be fine. I chew on my lower lip as I place my hand inside her isolette and rub her tiny hand. I wipe away my tears with my free hand, studying her features. Her eyes are closed, slits that angle up.
The nurse brings me extra linens and pillows to spend the night. Before I fall asleep, I make a promise to myself. I promise to be the best mother I possibly can to that little girl. I'll put aside my insecurities and focus on her. Hell, I'll start taking antidepressants if I have to. I'll do whatever it takes to show her she has a strong mother. Because she's a strong girl. A warrior. I didn't realize it until now, but she's taught me an important lesson. Life is cruel. We just need to get into a fighting stance and be ready for whatever it has to throw at us.
Another six weeks later...
I prepare the nursery. Kanami should be discharged any day now. I cover her crib mattress with a soft pink fitted sheet. I hear my phone ringing in the other room. I walk away, glancing back at the beautiful bedroom.
I press the accept button.
"Leorio?"
"Hey, (Y/N). Do me a favor. Meet me at the train station. And wear your sundress."
I pull my eyebrows close together. "What? No. I don't have time for your games."
"Just do it. And don't forget the dress. See you soon."
He hangs up before I have the chance to argue.
Curiosity gets the best of me and I change into my sundress and meet Leorio at the train station.
I look around. He's not there. He must be playing a trick on me. I turn toward the stairs and walk away. I stop dead in my tracks. Like deja vu, I see Leorio pushing Kurapika down the stairs.
Kurapika stumbles toward me. "I...like...your...dress," he says.
"Thank you." I smile back at Leorio. I know what he's trying to do. I turn my attention back to Kurapika.
Sweat drops form on his forehead. "Do you...like coffee?"
I pretend to think about his question. "Hmm...depends where it's from."
He blushes. "I know a good place not far from here."
I smile. "Sure."
He smiles back and rests his hand on my lower back. We start to walk away. "Before things get serious between us, I must tell you, I have a daughter."
I tilt my head to the side. "Is that so? What happened to her mother?"
He shakes his head. "I...uh...said some terrible things to her and she left me." He waves his hands in the air. "But don't worry...I learned my lesson. I'll never treat you like that."
I laugh. "Come here, Kurapika." I pull him close and my lips connect fiercely with his.
He pulls away and kisses my neck. "I'm so sorry, (Y/N). Will you give me a third chance?"
We skip the coffee shop and drive straight home. He carries me into our bedroom and lays me down. He kisses me with intensity. With hope.
We throw our clothes on the floor and he slides his body on top of me, skin to skin. I remember the first time he touched me. The same feeling courses throughout my body. I spread my legs, letting him know I'm ready for him.
I let out a moan when he enters me. Pleasure ripples through me. Feeling greedy, I pull him deeper.
"Harder, please," I whisper into his ear.
He obeys. My eyes roll back into my head. My breasts bounce as he gives me the hard thrusts I was begging for. They start to leak milk, but I don't care. Gone is the insecure woman that once occupied this body.
I arch my back, resting my hands on his muscular chest. His nose touches mine and I feel the tips of his hair brush my face.
"You're mine, (Y/N). I promise...never again will I allow hurtful words to pass my lips."
I reach up and kiss him, gently pulling his tongue into my mouth. His kiss is dangerous. Every time his lips are on mine, I have to remind myself to breathe.
He spins me around so I'm on top. I lean back slightly, giving him a full view of my body. His eyes widen and his cheeks turn a darker shade of red.
"My Kami, (Y/N). You're absolutely breathtaking."
I'm in control now. I throw my arms behind my neck and rock my hips back and forth. I ride him slowly, enjoying the way his perfect body feels beneath mine.
He lifts my hips up and watches as he disappears deep inside of me. He presses his thumb over my clit. I move faster...faster...back and forth...until...
I fall on top of Kurapika, screaming out my orgasm. He holds me as my body convulses. Breathing heavily, I press my ear against his heart, listening to the soothing sound. I remember there is a Nen dagger residing in his heart. I want one in mine too.
He allows me to enjoy my high for a few more seconds before spinning me back around. Jaw clenched and eyes shut, he moans as he climaxes.
I run my fingers up and down his back as he recovers. We hear his phone vibrating somewhere on the floor. He slides off of me to find it.
He stares at it then at me.
"Yes? Hello? Right. We're on our way."
"Who was that?"
He puts his arm back down, slowly. "The hospital. Kanami is ready to come home."
A mixture of excitement and nervousness settles in my stomach. After twelve long weeks, our baby is finally ready to come home.
Kurapika and I ride to the hospital in silence. We pick up the phone for access to walk inside the NICU...hopefully, for the last time.
We listen intently as the nurse goes over our discharge instructions. When she is finished, Kurapika picks up our tiny baby and straps her inside the car seat. I can tell he's as nervous as I am.
He pays close attention to the road as he drives us home. For the first time in years, I actually see him use his turning signal.
She makes soft squealing sounds as he takes her out of her car seat.
"Shh...shh...daddy is here," he says, rubbing her back.
I grip my chest. I've never seen such a heartwarming scene. He kisses her head and smiles at me.
I walk closer to them. I kiss Kanami's cheek. "Are you nervous?"
Kurapika adjusts her hat. "Terrified. I'm grateful my best friend is a doctor."
I nod. "Yes. Maybe we should ask if he could move in with us."
We both laugh.
Two years later...
A little girl wearing a pink tabard dances in the middle of the park. When I'm not looking at her, I'm checking my phone. Leorio sits in the empty seat next to me on the bench.
"Heard anything?"
I shake my head, holding back my tears. "Nothing." I turn to face him. "He's been gone for almost two months! Do you think something bad happened to him?"
Leorio smiles as he watches Kanami play. "Hell no. Kurapika would never leave you two behind."
The wind blows in our direction. Tears fall from my eyes, making strands of hair stick to my face. "Then why did he take on that mission?"
Leorio looks down at my face. He tucks my hair behind my ear. "(Y/N), you know Kurapika. He loves his family more than anything, but deep down, he still wants to achieve his goal."
Kanami picks a flower and runs to me. "For you, mommy."
I take the flower and run my fingers through her golden hair. "Thank you! It's beautiful."
She notices me looking at my phone. Her lips curve downward. "Me not see daddy?"
I try my best to keep a smile on my face. "Not today, sweetheart. Maybe tomorrow."
She jumps in front of Leorio and grabs his hand. "Uncle Lorio...play!"
He tickles her. Her laughter echoes in the wind. "Of course, my little giggle machine!"
He puts her on his shoulders and runs off. While they play, I take out the note Kurapika left me the morning he left. I always keep it with me.
My lovely (Y/N),
I apologize for leaving on such short notice, but I found some intel on a pair of my brethren's eyes. Fear not. I promise to take care of myself while I'm gone. I trust you'll do the same. In the meantime, I invited Leorio to look after you and Kanami.
Give Kanami a kiss for me. Tell her daddy will be home soon and he's bringing her home a surprise!
My heart is already calling out for you.
Love,
Your husband,
Kurapika
The wind blows stronger. Goosebumps erupt on my skin. The wind tickles my skin and I have to tighten my collar.
"They place so well together, don't they?"
I jump up and turn around. My heart rate increases and it might just free itself from my chest. I place my hands on the bench for support.
"Kurapika!" I say, taking deep breaths.
Kurapika takes his bag off his shoulder and places it on the bench. He walks toward me.
I fall into his arms. I inhale him. I run my hands over his face to make sure I'm not dreaming.
He lets out a soft laugh. "I'm not an apparition, my love."
I grip his chest. "I just..."
He kisses my forehead. "I know. I missed you as well."
He takes my balled up fists into his hands. His lips fall on mine and we share a long-awaited kiss.
He pulls away, breathing heavily. "Thank you for looking after my heart while I was gone."
"Daddy!"
We turn our heads to the sound of our happy little girl.
Kurapika kneels with his arms spread. Kanami runs into him, causing him to fall backward. He breathes her in.
"My princess!" He plants kisses all over her face. He picks himself back up. "I'm sorry for leaving you. I just had to..."
She places her tiny index finger over his lips. "Daddy's a hun-ta."
He stands up, dusting his suit with his hands. He picks her up, smiling proudly. "Yes. I am."
She opens her hands in front of him. "Seer-prize?"
He holds her with one arm while reaching for his bag. "Right. I promised to bring you back a surprise, didn't I?"
Her entire face brightens as he hands her a stuffed capybara and a bag of candies.
Fourteen years later...
"You look absolutely stunning!" Kurapika says to Kanami as she walks down the stairs wearing her new dress.
We are about to leave the house to celebrate her sixteenth birthday when she stops in front of a mirror.
"Are you sure this dress doesn't make me look fat?" Kanami says.