Love Without Boundaries - Chapter 23: Chapter 23

Twenty-Three
Robert was getting everything ready  for tonight; he was having second thoughts about having Preston and his boyfriend Grant over. He didn’t trust Grant to be on his best behavior; Grant was a jerk by nature and would do anything just to get on someone’s nerves. Robert didn’t really have a choice but to put up with Grant if he wanted to hang out with Preston. Then he also made the mistake of inviting Vera over also, he was getting the feeling Ann Marie felt threatened by her. He didn’t see why she would feel like that, she was only a friend nothing else. He was thinking about just cancelling, he was still thinking about what Ann Marie told him. The more he thought about it, the more he was sure he didn’t feel anything for Ann Marie anymore. He wasn’t happy in their relationship, he felt suffocated by her. However he didn’t want to break up with her, he felt like if he did Preston wouldn’t want to hang out with him anymore. Maybe if he just stayed with her for a while longer, then maybe Preston will see him as a good friend. He doesn’t want to lose him as a friend just because things didn’t work out with his cousin. The doorbell rang and Robert went to see who it was. When he opened to door, he saw it was Vera and she had two bottles of liquor in her hand.
“Hey Vera come on in and you can place that on the table. By the way where did you get the alcohol from, you’re not old enough to buy that?”
“Well it is a gift from Gio and Vic.”
“Ah so how are your brothers, haven’t seen them in a long time?”
“They are good, Vic just got engaged and Gio just made head chef at the restaurant he has been working at.”
“That’s good, glad to hear they are doing great.”
“So when is everyone else getting here?”
“They should be here any minute, why?”
“Oh just asking, hey I want to ask you something?”
“Yeah sure what is it?”
“Um I’m getting the feeling Ann Marie doesn’t like me.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Well I know she volunteered to show me around the campus, but she is being very rude to me and has been talking down to me. I think she believes there is something going on between us and that is why she is acts coldly towards me. Is everything alright between you two?”
“Damn it I knew it, no things have been a bit tense between us. She thinks I’m seeing someone else and now she thinks it’s you.”
“Oh are you?’
“What no, I would never do that.”
“So what’s the problem between you two?”
“Well I think she is mad because she told me that she loves me and I didn’t say it back. The thing is I have never told any girl I have gone out with that I love them. The ones before have never had a problem with it, but I’m sure they stuck around because I come from money.”
“So she must really love you if she is still with you, but I was getting the feeling you don’t want her around anymore, am I right?”
Robert took a deep sigh and ran his fingers through his hair he knew if he denied it Vera would see right through him.  “Your right, I don’t want to be with her anymore.”
“What’s stopping you from breaking up with her?”
“Preston”
“Oh I see you’re afraid of losing him as a friend?’
“Yes”
“What’s so special about him that you wouldn’t want to lose him as a friend?”
“I don’t know I just know that when I’m with him I forget all my problems.”
“Sounds to me like you really like him, you might even love him?”
“What I don’t love him, I’m straight! I just see him as a good friend.”
“You say that, but just think about it. Have you ever felt that way about any of your past girlfriends?”
Robert let Vera’s words sink in, could he possibly be in love with Preston. He has never felt that way about a guy before or even a girl in fact. No, he just saw Preston as a friend and nothing more.
“Well no, but that doesn’t mean I’m love with Preston. Besides even if I did love Preston I could never tell him.”
“Oh come off it, you love him and I could tell you did that day I hung out with both of you. I know he feels something for you too, but doesn’t show it because you’re with his cousin and he has a boyfriend. If I were you I would just break up with Ann Marie and tell Preston how you feel about him.”
“You make it seem so easy, but it’s not. You know if I break Ann Marie’s heart, he is going to hate me. Not only will I lose him as a friend, I’ll blow any chance of being with him.”
“So you admit that you love him then?”
Robert knew he was just lying to himself if he denied about being in love with Preston. He couldn’t image life without him now.  “I can’t be having these feelings for Preston! Everything in society tells me it’s wrong to have feelings for another guy. Two guys can’t be together is what we have been told since we were small. But why is it what I feel for Preston just feels so right?”
“Because silly it is right to you and it is what your heart is telling you is right. As for society I say screw them and anyone who can’t stand behind you and support you. So do you just like Preston or do you love him?”
“I love him Vera and I don’t even really know him that well.”
“Sounds like true love to me, might even be love at first sight.”
“Come on you know I don’t believe in that kind of stuff.”
“You say that, because you have never felt love like that until now. So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, but it’s never going to happen. Even if he wanted to be with me, we can’t ever be together in public. I can’t come out and say I’m gay.”
“Why not, I don’t see the problem?”
“Have you forgotten about my uncle, he will never stand for that? Saying that I am  gay would be worse than people finding out that Nora and I aren’t really his kids.”
“Oh crap I had forgotten about that. What if you just see him in private, if you just tell him you can’t come out, I’m sure he will understand.”
“It’s not that he won’t be ok with it, it won’t be fair to him to have to be in a secret relationship. The whole point he came out was so he didn’t have to hide it. Besides it’s never going to happen, Preston and Ann Marie are close. He would never go out with someone who just crushed his cousin’s heart. In addition, he has a boyfriend. ”
“All I’m hearing are excuses and the only way you will ever know is just to take action and tell Preston. Who knows he might just dump that douche of a boyfriend to be with you.” The doorbell rang and Robert went to see who was at the door, he saw the rest of group plus two people he didn’t know. He turned to Vera and said, “This discussion is over, we are not talking about it anymore understood?
“Yes, but you shouldn’t deny your feelings for Preston any longer. They will not going away.”
“Enough Vera, I don’t need anyone else to find out.”
“Fine whatever you say.” Robert opened the door to let everyone in.
“Hey Robbie,” Ann Marie said as she gave him a kiss. “I hope you don’t mind but I invited one of my sorority sisters and Preston invited his roommate.”
“Of course I am not mad, the more the merrier.” Robert led everyone in to his living room, where Vera was waiting.
“So ok everyone this is my good friend Vera.” Robert said as everyone sat down.
“Vera and Robbie, my sorority sister Penny and this is Preston’s roommate Noah.” Ann Marie said.
“Nice to meet you and I hope you have a good time tonight.”
“So what do you guys want to do first?” asked Vera, Ann Marie shot her an annoyed look. She couldn’t believe Robbie had invited her over.
“Well I think since it is Robbie’s place, he should choose what we do.” Ann Marie said coolly.
“I guess you’re right, Robert what do you want to do?” Vera said. Robert couldn’t believe Ann Marie was being rude to Vera, right in front of him too. She needs to keep her attitude in check or she was going to start an argument.
“You know what Vera you can choose what we can do first.” Robert said.
“Um ok how about we play that drinking game I never?” Everyone in the room starts to agree on the game. Robert and Vera get up and get the shot glasses and liquor to play.
“Ok who wants to start the game?” Robert asked.
“Ok I’ll start the game off,” Noah said. “I never had sex.” Everyone in the room took a shot. When Robert saw Preston take his shoot, he felt like someone just knocked out all his air. He couldn’t believe Preston slept with Grant. He felt such anger towards Grant now and didn’t know if he could control it while he was drinking. Vera noticed how Robert’s facial expression changed dramatically from the start of the game. She knew he was mad that Preston had slept with Grant and it was killing him that he couldn’t do anything about it. She knew she had to change the subject fast.
“Me next”, Vera said “Ok I never smoked pot.” The only ones who took a shot were Grant and Noah. Preston didn’t look surprised, he knew Grant use to smoke pot when he was in high school.
“Ok who’s next” Vera asked.
“I got next” said Grant “I never spend a night in jail.” Nobody took a shot.
“Ok I’m next” said Ann Marie “I never made out with the same sex.” Grant, Preston and Penny all took a shoot.
“Oh my god Penny I didn’t know that.” Ann Marie said.
“It was for a dare and I didn’t want to look like a chicken.” Penny said. “Ok It’s my turn now. I never snuck into a twenty-one and over bar.” Everyone but Preston and Noah took a shot.
“Ok it’s either Preston or Robert next, so who’s it going to be?” Noah asked.
“I’ll go,” said Preston “I never stole anything.” Everyone but Preston, Vera and Robert took a shot.
“Ok Robbie it’s your turn.” Ann Marie has said, she was starting to slur her words.            Robert could tell she was already getting a good buzz.  “I never cheated on any of my girlfriend/boyfriends.”
Vera, Preston and Robert didn’t take a shot. He knew that Preston would get worried if it came out that Grant had cheated before. However, when he looked back at Preston he saw he wasn’t bothered by Grant’s answer. This meant Grant told him about it, which only made it worse for Robert. Vera knew Robert was hoping to weaken Preston and Grant’s relationship by showing Preston that Grant was a cheater. However, it had backfired on him and now he felt like coming between them is going to be harder. Vera knew what she had to do to help him out and she hoped it would work.
“I got next” said Vera “I never had feelings for someone I shouldn’t.” Robert and Noah were the only ones who took a shot.
When Ann Marie saw Robert take a shot she exploded, she knew he liked someone else and she was going to bet that it was Vera. She got up and pushed Robert off his sit. Robert regained his balance as Ann Marie yelled at him and slapped him repeatedly on the chest.“Who is she Robbie? Who is the whore you are planning to dump me for, is it Vera? I knew it was her along, answer me?” Robert grabbed Ann Marie’s hands to stop her from slapping him.
“Ann Marie stop it, this is neither the time nor the place to do this.”
“Damn it just talk to me and tell who it is.” Ann Marie started to cry, she was upset to have to find out this way.
“I can’t tell you, because it doesn’t matter. It’s not like they feel the same way for me.”
“You just want me to forget that I didn’t just see you drink a shot for answering the question of having feelings for someone you shouldn’t. Do you know how that makes me feel, that I’m not the one you’re thinking about all the time?”
“Shit I know this is a crappy way to find out, I never wanted you to find out this way. However I don’t want to break up with you, I still like you.” the last part was a lie, but he knew if he just broke up with her Preston was never going to talk to him again.
“Well you know what Robbie I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t love me. I hope you and that whore have a nice life together.” Ann Marie grabbed her stuff and left. Everyone else followed her except Preston and Vera. Robert looked at Preston and saw disappointment on his face, which was the worse look he could ever get from Preston.
“Wait Preston don’t leave yet, let me just explain.” Robert pleaded. Preston walked up to him and said “I think you said enough.” Then he slapped Robert across the face. “Don't ever talk to me again.” Preston walked out with Grant. Robert didn’t move from that spot for ten minutes. Vera felt bad because it was her fault, she was only trying to help and she just messed it up.
“I’m really sorry Robert, shit I didn’t think that was going to happen.” Robert’s silence made her feel even worse. She walked up to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. When she looked at his face, she saw he had tears rolling down his cheeks.
“I just lost the love of my life and I never even had the chance to tell him.”
“Robert I’m so sorry is there anything I could do?”
“No and don’t worry I don’t blame you. I just want to be alone right now.”
“Ok but call me if you need to talk or if you need anything.”
“Ok I will.” Robert walked Vera to the door and let her out. Once he locked the door, he went into his room and crawled under the covers. Never in his life had he ever felt this much pain. A part of him felt like he was just dying on the inside. He didn’t know if he was ever going to be able to bounce back from this, he was in love with a boy who was never going to love him back. Love was a bitch and it hurt like a bitch too. All he wanted now was to stay under the covers and hope he wakes up tomorrow to find it was all just a bad dream.
Robert woke up the next morning; he rolled over and looked at the clock. It was two in the afternoon and he had to work the evening shift. He was in no shape to work tonight. He sat up in bed and his head started too pounded. He shouldn’t have been drinking last night after everyone left, but he believed it was the only way to numb the pain. Robert let himself fall back on his bed; he was going to call in sick. There was no way he was going to be able to work tonight. He reached for his phone, but stopped when he saw Vera walking into his room.
“Don’t bother; I already called in for you.” Vera said as she handed him a glass of water and some pills. Robert took them and drank all the water.
“Thanks, what would I ever do without you?” Robert said as he got out of bed.
“Probably drink yourself to death.” Vera said as she picked up the half empty bottle of liquor off his nightstand. “Drinking doesn’t make your problems go away, you know that right?” Robert walked over to her and snatched the bottle from her.
“I know that, but it does help when you want to forget something unpleasant.” Robert placed it on his dresser and started to pull out some clothes, so he could shower. “Now if you don’t mind I’m going to take a shower. Robert walked into his bathroom and shut the door behind him. He turned on the shower and waited for the water to get warm, he stepped in the shower and let the water wash over him. He could feel the pills starting to work, and last night was starting to come back to him. He had messed up big time, not only had he hurt Ann Marie, but now Preston hated him. Even saying his name caused him pain, he could slowly feel the tears running down his face as it mixed with the water. How he could have been so stupid, he thought to himself. He was so angry with himself; he just wanted to punch something. He slammed his fist on the shower wall, he cries out in pain. He saw he had busted one of his knuckles, now it was going to bruise and hurt like hell. He washed off the blood and finish showering, stepped out of the shower. He dried, dressed and wrapped his hand before walking out of the bathroom. He found Vera waiting for him in the kitchen. She was making breakfast; Robert took a seat at the table. He placed his head and the table, Vera poured him a cup of coffee. He lifted his head and stared at the coffee, before finally taking a drink.
“How many eggs do you want?” Vera asked him.
“I don’t want any.” Vera loaded a plate with food anyway.
“You have to eat something Robert; you can’t just not eat and think you can live off air and water alone.” She placed a plate in front of him, he pushed it away.
“I’m not hungry. I’ll eat when I’m hungry.” Vera pushed the plate back to him, when he pushed the plate again, she noticed it was wrapped.
“What happened to your hand?”
“Nothing,” Robert took a drink of his coffee.
“Oh nothing, then why is it wrapped and why do I see blood on the gauze?” Robert sighed and sat back in his chair.
“If you must know I punched the wall, ok.” Vera took a seat next to Robert and places her hand on his arm.
“You know punching walls are not going to make things better. You’re only causing yourself more pain.” Robert pulled his arm away from Vera and got up from the chair.
“I know that, I’m not stupid.” He walked over to the window and stared outside. Vera got up and stood next to him.
“I know you’re not stupid, but why do that to yourself?”
“To forget about the pain I feel in my heart right now. I thought maybe if I felt pain somewhere else, I could forget the pain in my heart.”
“Did it work?”
“No I still feel it and now my hand hurts like hell.” Vera let out a small chuckle.
“What am I going to do with you?”
“I don’t know, I guess you’re going to have to watch me 24/7.” Robert turned and saw the worried look on her face. “I’m just kidding, don’t worry I’ll come out of this alright. I guess I’m just going to have to take it one day at a time.”
“And I will be here to help you in any way I can.” Robert nodded and turned his attention back to the window. He wished it was so to forget about Preston, but he knew it was going to be hard to forget.
The next morning Preston woke up, he hadn’t had a good night sleep. He mind just kept going back to what happened last night. He felt bad for Ann Marie, she had been right the whole time about Robert liking someone else. He also felt bad for the way he acted towards Robert. He wasn’t being a good friend towards him right now. Sure Ann Marie was his cousin, but Robert was also his friend. You could even say his best friend. He just knew that he was going to have to make things right between them soon. Right now he just needed to let things blow over and he will go see him to apologize to him. Preston got out of bed and got ready for the day. He was going to go out and meet Grant for lunch, but he wasn’t really in the mood to go out. He was thinking about calling him and cancelling on him. It wouldn’t be for no reason, he had some schoolwork he had to get done by Monday. No he couldn’t do that to Grant he would start to think I don’t want to spend any time with him. he walked out of his dorm and made his way to Grants dorm and knocked on the door. Grant opened the door and let him in; Preston thought Grant was so lucky to have a dorm to him. He liked Noah, but wished he was by himself sometimes.
“Morning love, you look like you had a terrible night of sleep. Did you not sleep well?”
“No I didn’t I just kept thinking about what had happen last night. I feel so bad for Ann Marie, here she was telling me how she always thought there was someone else and I just told her she was just being paranoid. Look what happen, I’m like the worse cousin ever.”
“No you’re not; you just thought Robert was a good guy. Sometimes you just can’t always trust some people.” Preston looked at Grant; he had no right to say that about Robert. He didn’t know him; you can’t blame someone for falling in love with someone else. Thinks like that just happen.
“It’s not like he asked to fall for someone else.” Grant gives Preston a surprised look.
“Are you actually defending him, didn’t you slap him last night for that?”
“I know I did and I regret it, I should have heard him out. He was my friend after all.”
“Would hate to see what Ann Marie would say if she heard you right now. But come on he didn’t have to do it that way, he could have just told her.”
“We were all drinking, not everybody was thinking clearly.”
“Still think he should have kept that to himself. Now come on lets go for lunch.” Preston didn’t feel like going out to lunch with Grant right.
“You know what I can’t I forgot I have some schoolwork I need to take care of for Monday, I’ll call you later.” Preston walked to the door, but was grabbed by Grant.
“You’re not leaving because of what I’m saying about Robert are you?” Preston yanked his arm out of Grants grip; he was really starting to get on his nerves right now.
“No like I said I have schoolwork to do.” Preston said as he walked past him and walked out of the dorm. He got back to his dorm and found Noah gone; good he just wanted to be left alone right now. He crawled back into bed and let weariness wash over him. He didn’t know what to do and things just weren’t making any sense right now.