Mafia Men: Nikolai's Inferno - Chapter 101: Chapter 101

-Nikolai-
I felt a searing, intense pain engulf my entire arm.
Could it be? Did she actually shoot me?
I don't know if I was in shock, or incredibly pissed off or I wanted to murder her or fuck her hard till she passes the fuck out. Maybe all the options above together.
I recoiled my hand from where Evangeline had shot me, layering my skin with a thick pool of blood. I couldn't believe the fact that she had actually shot me. And I just couldn't bring myself to retaliate. I don't think I have it in me to even point my gun at her...
I looked at the blood on my hand again and then back at her, sitting on the bed, holding my gun lazily as if it was normal for her to handle guns.
She stood up and all I could do was fucking stare at her. She stepped closer and tucked my gun back into the holster.
"Here, let me help you with that before you bleed all over my carpet," she said before moving out of the room and I followed her.
"Where the fuck did you go?" I asked.
She looked at me from over his shoulder as we entered the kitchen, "Away from you."
"Why?!"
She pulled out a first aid box from the cabinet, "Do you really need to ask that, Nikolai? You don't remember? Have you forgotten that you were the one who said that this marriage was done for and left me alone for months!"
I scoffed and gripped my arm to stop myself from losing any more blood before I fucking pass out on her, "You ran away!"
She faced me, slamming the first aid kit over the kitchen island, "You made me."
I furrowed my eyebrows, "I made you?!"
"Yes, you did," she took off my hand from over the wound and started cleaning it, "...and after some clarity, I realized, I don't want to be with you. You killed them..." her voice was barely above a whisper but I know what she was talking about.
"You think you have a choice, Evangeline?!"
My words made her laugh, she shook her head, "This is the mentality that made me run away from you in the first place! It's either you divorce me or I will ruin you!"
I fisted the back of her head with my bloodied hand and pulled her closer, I tried hard not to cringe as she dug the needle into my arm, "You think I am afraid of your little threats? You want to ruin me? Go ahead, what's fucking stopping you? Do you think I care what people think of me? Sweetheart, if I cared about that I wouldn't have been a mob boss in the first fucking place."
She pulled herself out of my hold and continued to stitch the wound up, "We don't have to fight, I don't want to fight you. I'm not even here to avenge my parent's murder. Don't make things difficult for both of us, Nikolai. Let's get a divorce and pretend we never knew each other."
Her words made me laugh, "You belong to me, Evangeline. You were made for me, you are fucking delusional if you think that I'll just let you go. I will kill you before any-"
She stopped working over my arm and faced me, "Kill me then! I'm tired of you telling me that you will kill me and not acting on it! If you want to kill me, Nikolai, then do it. Here I am right in front of you, unarmed, just do it. I'm sure your gun has more bullets, just fucking do it already!"
I gritted my teeth and glared at the side. I felt like strangling her but the words that I spat out were different. "A Costello never kills a Costello,"
She let out a humorless laugh and glanced up at the ceiling, her exhausted eyes searching for some answer, "I'm not a Costello."
"From what I remember, you are still my fucking wife!"
She nodded not saying a word in return and her eyes went back to my arm. She spread an ointment on the wound and started to put a bandage over it.
I gazed at her as she went ahead softly wrapped my arm. She had grown a bit, nothing drastic but enough to notice. She had a newfound confidence that made her look even more stunning, and that made me seethe with rage. She was simply gorgeous and it pissed me the fuck off.
"Why did you run away?" I asked, lowering my tone. She won't respond to threats.
"You killed my parents."
"Your parents murdered my innocent mother."
"You held me accountable for my father's actions," she said, facing me with a deep frown.
Fuck, I wanted to kiss her again.
"I never held you accountable, I just needed some fucking time to forget about that shit, to forget about the fact that your father killed the woman I loved. And being near you messed with my fucking sanity, Evangeline."
It was absolutely true. My burning hatred for Elijah was never reflected on Evangeline-I simple thought that if I loved her I'd be betraying my mother. I had considered exacting my vengeance on her, but I eventually knew I couldn't. She was not her father; she was Evangeline, my wife.
She sighed, shaking her head, "You treated me like shit our whole relationship! I couldn't take it anymore, the insults, your ruthless behavior. You lied to me time and time again without any remorse. You called me stupid every chance you could get, you thought of me as a half-wit woman that you could mold anyway that you'd like and I'm done with that. No one in your circle respect me because you never did. If I hadn't left, Nikolai, that cycle of torture would have continued. So, yes, it was you, you made me leave you. I'm not your mother, and I'm certainly not here to put up with your outbursts and immature behaviour. One moment you seem to care about me and the next moment you pretend like I'm not even here. That is not life, that's the hell that I refused to be a part of anymore."
There was just silence between us. I didn't fucking say anything, I ran my teeth over my bottom lip and looked out the glass window over at the night sky.
"I ran away and I still couldn't get rid of your torture. I have spent the last four hundred and thirty days looking over my shoulder, dreading the day you will find me and make me pay for running away from you, for betraying you. Every single night, my nightmares haunted me with visions of you killing me, again and again. I couldn't even get a single night of restful sleep, Nikolai. I was so afraid to close my eyes. I was afraid to fall asleep."
I furrowed my eyebrows in frustration and glanced over at her incredulously. How could she say that? How could she even think it? I'm far from a saint, sure, I'm the worst husband imaginable, but I've never even considered laying a hand on her, let alone killing her.
"If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it the day I saw you crying over your parents' dead bodies. I would have done it when you fucking left me to go and live at your parents' place. I would have done it when I got to know about Elijah murdering my mother. I would have done it when you fucking, disrespected me again and again. I can fucking kill you right the fuck now. I could kill you this very second, Evangeline. If I wanted to, if..."
She was my fucking weakness... and now she knew that. She was not just a fucking person, she was my heart manifested in physical form. If my heart was a person, it would have looked exactly like her.
I may have been too proud to admit to her face what she meant to me but it was never my fucking intention to make her feel that way.
I have never been able to make sense of my emotions, and I have always tried desperately to get rid of them, but how does one cut out their own deceitful heart?
This was wrong, so fucking wrong. I could not love her because my love is not something she deserves. Someone like her doesn't deserve the misery, danger, and suffering that comes with loving me. My love was like a raging wildfire, consuming everything in its path.
My love was a fucking inferno...
It will burn her and watching her burn like that will fucking burn me.