Mafia Men: Nikolai's Inferno - Chapter 73: Chapter 73

.Evangeline.
I groaned as I lifted my heavy eyelids, I held my head in my hands. I was still laying on my stomach, I placed my palms beside me on the bed and pulled myself up. I blew out a breath as I looked around the empty bedroom. 2
I touched the nape of my neck and found a bandage wrapped over it. They must have pulled out whatever it was.
I placed my feet on the ground, feeling lightheaded and a little disorientated. I stood up with the help of the nightstand and walked to the mirror. I turned my back to it and tried to look at the bandage through the mirror, it was nothing big but still quite noticeable.
I glanced at the clock and it read seven a.m, my eyes widened as I realized that I slept through an entire day.
I went to the bathroom, filled the tub with warm water, and slid inside, soothing my aching limbs with warm water.
I didn't wash my hair or else the bandage would have gone wet. Stepping out, I dried my body with a towel and put on a green sundress.
I went downstairs and the house was eerily quiet, Nikolai changes the staff nowadays like he changes clothes. I frowned and went to the kitchen to cook breakfast for myself. I made scrambled eggs and sat on the kitchen island alone as I ate them.
I still felt a little off, maybe it was the sedative they had given me or maybe was my husband's behavior...
I slightly rolled my eyes, he is wrong if he thinks that I'll let him walk all over me like that just because we are married now. I wasn't his slave or his pretty little bird like his father had called me.
He always demands respect for himself, Scott, his men, his father, and the rest of his family. Where the hell is my respect? Don't I deserve it too? Wasn't I human enough for him to be respected?
I would have apologized if he had listened to me and if he had given me a chance to explain myself but he didn't. The second his father fed him lies, he snapped at me without even thinking that maybe he was the one lying. He knows what his father is capable of, he had told me that he is a dangerous man much like Nikolai.
I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my jaw, if that's how Nikolai wants things then fine, he can have everything his way but I won't be a part of it.
For the two weeks, we had spent in Italy, his relatives had made me feel inferior and bad about myself every chance they could get. They called me names, they called me the other woman, a slut who slipped into Niko's bed, a hussy, a girl with loose morals and whatnot but I still didn't say anything because Nikolai had told me to ignore them. Now I realized that it's not going to be any different here, Nikolai's family including his father would never accept me and I refuse to be treated like I'm less than a human, I refuse to take any more insults hurled my way.
What hurt me the most was his behavior. He gets furious for his people, for his family but he doesn't even bat an eyelash when someone treats me badly.
I got off the kitchen island and washed the dishes, before drying and putting them back. I ran my hands down my face and headed out of the kitchen only to collide with someone's chest.
"I went upstairs to our bedroom but you weren't there," Nikolai said, his hand reaching for my face.
I slapped his hand away and stepped aside to walk past him. A frown appeared on his forehead in an instant, he clasped my wrist and pulled me back into his chest. I glared up at him and then my gaze dropped to
his bruising grip on my wrist.
"Let go," I said through gritted teeth.
"What is wrong with you?" he asked.
My mouth dropped open as I glared at him again. He seriously did not ask me that question! I twisted my arm trying to get it out of his grip but I knew it wasn't going to work as he tightened his hold on me.
"What is wrong with me? Let me think..." I plastered a fake, sarcastic smile on my lips as I pretended to think. "Oh, I remember, I'm an impolite, unmannered Missy, that is what's wrong with me." He blew out a breath as if he couldn't believe I just said those words, "Don't take my father seriously-"
"Your father? Nikolai, really, you think this is about your father?!" I snapped, "It's about you and the way you treat me in front of people. It's about you caring about everyone's honor but mine! It's about you talking to me the way you did! It's about you demanding respect for everyone but me! It's about you! You!"
I finally managed to pull myself out of his grip and took a step back.
"Evangeline, it's my father, no matter what I expect you to respect him, if not as my father at least as the former head of this family."
"Your father? Where is the same respect when you talk about my dead father?! Where is the same respect when you call him a bastard or a fucker and many other colorful words?"
"There is a difference, your father was a fucking traitor-"
I cut him off again, and for the first time, I raised my voice at him as frustration won me over. "HE WAS STILL MY FATHER! YOU LOVE YOURS AND I LOVED MINE TOO! HE MAY BE A TRAITOR TO YOU BUT FOR
ME HE WAS MY WHOLE LIFE!"
He just stared at me calmly as tears poured down my face., "Why don't you calm down first then we'll talk."
I furiously swiped at my cheeks, "No! I'm calm, I'm fucking calm! Don't you dare try to work it out by saying that I'm not in my senses or I don't know what I am saying! I know exactly what I am talking about! Listen to me goddammit!"
He put his hands in his pockets and the expression on his face told me that he was still not taking me seriously, "I'm listening..."
"Your father called me an "entertainment" a "pretty little bird" that you keep in your bed, so you could fuck it whenever you want!" I used air quotations to let him know what I thought of his words.
He didn't say anything he just watched me with an impassive look.
"Your family in Italy used every single opportunity to hurt me! To insult me! And what did you do about it? What did you do about them? Ignore them, Evangeline, they don't matter!" I stepped closer to him, "
Bullshit! They are the ones that matter to you, I don't!"
He raised an eyebrow. "Are you done?"
I laughed to myself and held my head in my hands. "Maybe Bianca was right, you used me. You used me to get out of your marriage with Grace and I went along with everything because I'm just a pretty little bird
who is only good for one thing."
"Shut up," he just said, his demeanor was still calm and collected.
"Your father said, "One of these days when he is tired of fucking you and someone prettier and younger will come along, he will toss you aside." How much of it is true?" I asked, my eyes burning with tears. His impassive look cracked, as irritation leaked through his features., "Shut the fuck up, Evangeline!"
"I will shut up after you tell me what I am to you! What part am I playing for you today, Don Costello? Am I your wife? Am I supposed to play a perfect daughter-in-law to your family? Or maybe I'm your fluffer for the day. Or maybe, I'm supposed to play the stray orphan you took in! What am I to you, Nikolai? How much of your father's words are true?!"
"None of it!" he snapped back, taking a threatening step my way.
"That's a lie! You and I, we both know it's a lie!"
"You think I used you?!"
I humorlessly laughed, "If you didn't then where is the respect I deserve as your wife, as a person?"
"You have my respect."
He was so frustrating that I wanted to pull my hair out. "No, I don't! I don't have your respect! I'm just here to make you feel big and manly, to make you realize how powerful you are. I'm just here to make you
feel good, that's it! That's all I am to you!"
He gave his head a subtle shake, "We are not having this conversation right now, calm the fuck down before you talk to me again."
He turned to walk away but I grabbed his arm this time. "No, you will answer me! What am I to you?!"
He dropped my grip on his arm. "Too bad, Evangeline. You are not getting the answer you want."
"What am I to you, Nikolai, it's a simple question!"
He gripped my face and looked me in the eyes. "It's not a simple fucking question!"
He pushed me back by my face and continued to walk.
"Do you even love me, Nikolai?" the question left my lips with nothing but despondency and hurt.
He stopped in his tracks, I took it as a chance and stood before him once again. I wanted to look him in the eyes as I asked this question. I wanted to know. He had never told me that he loved me, not even a single
time. Not when he married me, not when I had my first time, not even a single time.
I looked up into his eyes and asked the same question once more. My heart sank to my feet, it felt horrible to ask such a question. It made me realize how many things were wrong between us and I have turned a
blind eye to all of them.
This is the kind of question you should ask someone before you marry them before you completely give yourself to them. It was the kind of question I should have asked before I spent the night with him and every single night after that. It was the question I should have asked when he took me to that courtroom to get married.
My voice cracked pathetically, "Do you even love me, Nikolai?"
His eyes wandered all over my face, he seemed out of words. He seemed out of his senses. He looked taken aback by that question, a crinkle appeared between his brows, oh, the audacity of his stupid wife to ask
such a question.
He looked tensed as if I have asked him for his life. I noticed his adam's apple moved up and down. I've never seen this man get scared of anything but right now, I could see, he was slightly intimidated by my
question.
He didn't have an answer....
Nikolai didn't have an answer....
Nikolai Costello has lost the ability to form a simple sentence because I had asked him if he loved me.
His hands curled into fists and a sudden tension made him clench his jaw. I could see him grinding his teeth.
He didn't touch me, he didn't move me out of his way. He didn't even tell me that he loved me just to get me off his back.
He just couldn't utter those words.
"Oh my god..." a sudden cry bubbled up my throat as the realization dawned on me. I placed both of my hands over my mouth. I couldn't believe I was so stupid. His father was right, and Bianca was right. He
played me like a fiddle.
I shook my head and then again looked at him with tear-filled eyes, "You don't love me, right? Oh my god, I'm so stupid!"
He let out a dry breath. "Evangeline..."
"No, no, you have said enough..."
I turned on my heels and ran straight towards the stairs. He didn't follow me, he didn't call me, he didn't do anything.
I got to my bedroom and slammed the door shut. My body was wracked with an onslaught of sobs. I pressed my back against the door and slid down wrapping my arms around myself.
Nikolai didn't love me...
Nikolai didn't love me...
He never did...
He played me...
The first man I ever loved played me...