Mafia's Redemption: Terzo - Chapter 103: Chapter 103

DANI
I didn’t know how many times I washed my face with soap, even if there was no trace of blood anymore. I didn’t know how long I was in the shower until my skin was hot and red. And I didn’t know how to face everyone after I almost got them killed.
It was the guilt and the conscience that could kill me, yet I didn’t hear anyone blaming me, and that was the worst feeling in the world. I just wanted them to yell at me, hate me, or even kick me out. I wouldn’t blame them.
I chose to skip dinner. I didn’t have an appetite. I couldn’t stomach the food while Marco hadn’t woken up, and Gaetano and Alessio were almost blown to pieces.
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. At this point, I wish I’d seen a therapist again or maybe had taken some xanax so I could just sleep. I had the worst feeling, and I couldn’t shake it off. I didn’t have the thick skin to ignore what happened and act like it was just another normal day.
A sharp knock interrupted my musing. I wanted to ignore it or answer that I was sleeping, but it would be ridiculous. I knew it wasn’t Terzo. He respected my request to ask for space.
I got up from bed and opened the door. I rolled my eyes and looked at the food on the tray. “I’m not hungry, Cee. Shouldn’t you be resting?”
She pushed the door open and welcomed herself in. “Geez. We were both kidnapped and almost died. Don’t act like I’m the only victim here, Dani.” She put the food on the bed and made herself comfortable.
“You got shot that would leave a scar, Cee.” I joined her in bed, grabbed some grapes, and popped them in my mouth. “How’s your arm? How’s your Papa?”
“The doctor cleaned it, and I got some medicines. My father is fine. How are you?”
I shrugged. “I think I’m going crazy. My life is crazy. Everything around me seems crazy.”
“Open your mouth.” She had a forkful of pasta in red sauce, ready to shove into my mouth.
“No. I’m not feeling well enough to eat heavy food. I’m sorry, Cee.”
“Shut up. Enough with the apology.” She ate the pasta with a good appetite. “Eat the fruit.”
“Yes, mom—” Shit. I forgot about the memory. My jaw dropped.
“What’s wrong?” She quickly recognized the look on my face.
“Nothing. I just remembered something.”
“Then it’s not nothing, but I understand if you’re not ready to talk about it.”
I smiled and stabbed some slices of kiwi. “Thanks. I know why you’re here.”
“Why am I here? Because you did not join us over dinner. You’re trying to hide yourself and mope in the corner while blaming yourself.”
“I’m not strong like you, Cee.”
“That’s bullshit. You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met. It’s not only because you survived a lot of dilemmas, near-death experiences, but you stood up for me. You stayed by my side. You chose to save my life instead of saving yours. You stood up for my brother and shot him.” She chuckled. “No one did that to him. And it takes a lot of balls to challenge Terzo Siciliano. This story will go down in history, Danielle MacLynch Siciliano. You picked up Marco, not scared to die. Your courage just saved a lot of lives. And I love you for that, sister.”
I held her hand and squeezed it. “You’re the bravest, Cee. You just don’t know that yet. Give yourself a little credit. And I love you, too.”
“Can I ask something?” she asked as she put the tray on the bedside table.
I knew what she was going to ask. “No. If it’s about your brother. No, Cee.”
“Nope. It’s about the money. How rich are you?”
My face broke into a smile. “Not a billionaire yet. And I just lost my father’s ring. Shit.”
“Maybe we should go to Milan or Paris. We will go shopping.”
“That’s a good idea, but if your men will be escorting us, no thank you.”
“That’s not nice. Who will carry our shopping bags?”
We burst out laughing. And then we fell into silence for several seconds.
“Are you going to leave my brother, Dani?”
I looked at her. “What made you say that?”
“He left after dinner. I don’t know where, but he took his duffle bag.”
I dropped my gaze, swallowing the bile rising in my throat. When I thought I was ready to depart, I was wrong. The news felt like a rusty knife piercing into my heart. And the worst part, he left first without even saying goodbye.
“Did he say where he’s going?”
She studied me for a moment before shaking her head. “No. The last time he left, he was gone for months, and that was when he found me almost dead in a cage after my husband beat me and raped me.
I sucked in an audible breath. I didn’t know how I hugged her so fast and so tightly. I didn’t know how fast I cried until her shirt was wet with my tears. “I know you’re gonna hate me for saying this, but I’m so sorry for everything that has happened to you.”
“That’s why I refused to see a therapist, because I wasn’t ready and I didn’t like talking about my life to strangers, even if they were my doctors.”
I wiped the tears off my face as we pulled apart. “Then why did you decide to tell me?”
“Because I trust you, Dani. And I want to tell you that you can trust me, too. It’s not because you’re married to my brother. Whatever we talk about together stays with us. I promise I can keep secrets as long as keeping your secret doesn’t put your life in any harm's way.”
“Thanks for telling me.”
“No problem.” She smiled. She still managed to put a smile on her face despite what she’d been through.
“How do you do that? You can still smile after what happened to you.”
“Because I can’t let my past dictate to me how I live my life.”
“That’s beautiful, Cee.”
“It’s tough and it makes you crazy if you think of the mistakes you made, that you could have done them differently, and the whatnot, and I don’t drown myself in self-pity, self-loathing, or regrets. It’s not gonna change my life.” She smiled again, this time it was as if she was reminiscing. “I decided to marry that man because I loved him, even if it was against my brother’s approval. And I still thought that he somehow loved me, too, in his own darkest, strangest ways.”
“How did you cope with a broken heart?”
“Time heals all wounds.”
“Really? I disagree.” I snorted. “I think it still depends. Time doesn’t always heal deeper wounds, especially emotional ones.”
“We can have this debate all night, but as time passes, it may hurt less. One day, I just realized, that asshole, how did I fall for that dick?”
I laughed.
“And you, too, should not let those wounds control your life. You can see a therapist. It’s your choice, and I know it’s difficult, but let it serve you lessons.
“While we were in the SUV, and the driver was dead, I remembered something. I don’t know if it was my subconscious or a false memory, because I almost felt like I was in the same moment as when my parents died. I was there, surrounded by my dead parents, but I remembered the woman who opened the door and called me honey.”
“Who was she, Dani?”
“Allison. Francesco didn’t force her. She and Francesco were partners.”