Miracle - Chapter 16: Chapter 16

"Guess I got your attention," I snarked when I answered the phone. At Maddy's prompting, I tapped the icon to put the call on speaker. She deserved to hear this too.
"Connor. Not another word." I'd never heard Ezra sound like that. Was he mad? Well, that made two of us.
"Fuck that. Maddy got a letter in the mail today saying they're taking her to some boarding school."
"Yes." The word was clipped.
"It's only for girls."
"Yes."
"So you sons of bitches are engineering human girls to be your—"
"Stop!" he barked, so sharp and loud it made me jump. But then he followed it with a much softer and more earnest, "Please. It's not safe."
"What, this phone call? Or the conversation?"
"Yes," he said harshly. Something about the intensity of his tone cooled my temper somewhat... and ignited a bit of belated fear. If I was right about this, of course his people wouldn't want anyone knowing about it. How far would they go to protect their secret?
"Fine. Tell me this, what happens if Maddy doesn't go?"
"She must."
Maddy tugged at my phone so she could talk to him too. "Like hell I will. I'm not leaving my brother."
"I'll take care of him. You have my word."
"Sorry, Mister Guardian Angel, but there's only one person I trust to look out for Connor, and that's me." Maddy looped her arm around mine as she spoke. "I'm not going anywhere without him."
"I'm hoping you won't have to."
Maddy and I exchanged looks. "What's that mean?" we asked together, holding the phone between us like singers in a duet.
He was quiet for a second. "Connor, how would you feel about... uh," he cleared his throat, "coming to live with me? For a while."
Maddy's brows went halfway up her forehead and she elbowed me with a grin. I spluttered. "Like, in your house?"
"Yes."
For a second I was confused, until I remembered that he'd said he lived in Colorado. The academy's brochure hadn't mentioned what city it was in, but it had said it was in the Colorado mountains. "Wait. Do you work at the school?"
"No. But my clinic is close by. And so is my apartment."
Apartment? Funny, it had never occurred to me to imagine what Ezra's home life was like. Or even that he had one. For some reason an apartment sounded so mundane. Shouldn't he be living in, like, a castle? Or some sleek futuristic mansion, possibly with a superhero lair in the basement?
"What would I do there, though? What about school, and..."
And what, exactly? Mom wouldn't care less if I left. Wasn't she insisting to Ezra's company that they had to take me too? It's not like I had a circle of friends to miss me. School this year was going to be like navigating a minefield, even if I reapplied the body spray between every class. I'd probably end up looking like one of those slobs trying to substitute cologne for showers. I could certainly do without seeing Tyler's stupid face again for as long as I lived. The only person I'd miss from around here might be Ellen, the librarian.
Well, and Pete. We were supposed to go out again on Friday for that second date.
"We can figure that out. The important thing is, you'd be safe."
Maddy was wiggling her eyebrows, and I gave her an exasperated glare. I didn't know what to say. Except, "Will Maddy?"
"What do you mean?"
"Will Maddy be safe too? Really? Because if you guys are doing what I think you are, it's shitty. I'm not going along with anything that's going to force my sister into—"
"Connor, I promise you. The school is by far the safest place for Madison to be. No one there is forced into anything they don't want. In fact..." he paused.
"In fact what?"
"The students are very precious, to us."
Sure, unless for some reason they stop fitting your baby-mama criteria. In which case they're worm food, right?
"Careful," Ezra rumbled on the other end of the line. "That's not as private as you think."
What, my own thoughts?
"When they're meant for a Nephilim, they're not."
Jesus, that's just wrong.
He sighed. "Once I get permission to bring you here, I can explain everything."
As if the opportunity to live with him wasn't motivation enough. "Okay, when?" I tried to ignore Maddy as she gave a poorly muffled squeal and triumphant thumbs-up.
"Soon, I hope. I'm just waiting on council approval."
Oh. He hadn't meant my permission. "Is that like, the Nephilim government?"
"In a sense. But until then, Connor, leave this alone. Stop digging, and don't talk to anyone about your theories. Not even me."
"But they can't punish you for something I figured out myself."
"It's not me I'm worried about."
Sheesh, how did he always manage to defuse my anger so thoroughly? Here I was, brought from self-righteous ire to blushing submission in under five minutes. I looked down at my watch. "Can I ask something else, then?"
He grunted.
"This watch you gave me. Can it measure my pheromones? I've been trying to study how the whole thing works, but it's hard because people react so differently. If the watch could show me the metrics, that would sure help."
"Ah, hell." I couldn't tell what that meant. Was he annoyed? Mad that I was doing my own experiments? Maybe he thought I was hijacking his research. "I know what you've been doing," he finally said. "Under different circumstances I would encourage it, but not like this. It's too dangerous."
"That doesn't answer the question," I said petulantly. "Aren't you studying me right now? You'd be stupid not to. I've got to be the best test subject around for your blocker formula. I'm really good at science, you know. If you'd let me help—"
"I didn't give you the formula to further my research, Connor, I gave it to you to keep you safe."
"But if we work on it together, won't it make me even safer?"
"No. You're putting yourself at risk with these experiments, which defeats the purpose."
"It's my life," I reminded him. "I have a right to figure out how to protect myself."
"Can't you trust me to do that?"
"If you were me, would you?" I had to wait a while for the answer, during which time Maddy crossed her arms in agreement and nodded smugly over my phone.
"No," he finally said. "I wouldn't."
Damn. I must have hurt his feelings, because he sounded really sad. I bit my lip. Had that been a mean thing to say? I was just trying to point out that even with the fancy smartwatch and whatever other mystical things he was capable of, it would still take him ninety-seven minutes to get to me, and he had to break his people's laws and go through a sugar-crash to do it. It wasn't realistic to think that he'd be able to rescue me all the time.
"I didn't mean it like that," I started to explain, but he cut me off.
"It's fine, you're right. And no, the watch doesn't have the right kind of sensor to read pheromone output. I may be able to build one, though. It's a good idea." He still sounded kind of deflated.
"Ezra, I really didn't mean—"
"How much of the formula do you have left?"
"Huh? Oh. More than half. I'm good for another couple weeks, at least."
"I'll start making more. You're going out with that boy again this weekend, aren't you?"
"I..." Crap, how did he know? I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. But now I was even more flustered, especially when my sister started mouthing told you so at me, with gun-shaped finger gestures for added effect. Stop it, I mouthed back. She just grinned.
"Put it on before you leave the house, understand? And keep it on the entire time. Promise me."
At least he wasn't trying to forbid me from going. I shoved Maddy a little, because she was singing, "Someone's jealous," under her breath.
"But what if..." Ah, man, I couldn't ask him that. Not that I thought for a second that Maddy was right. Ezra had no romantic interest in me, but it felt so immature and whiny to complain that Pete might not like me without the pheromones. I'd been planning to take the spray with me, just... maybe not use it right away, if I didn't have to. Maybe he'd kiss me just one more time first?
"Connor, think. If it changes the way he feels, wouldn't that mean he wasn't worth the risk?"
He had me there. Maddy tilted her head, trying to follow what he was saying, but I got it. Begrudgingly. "Yeah, okay. Fine. I'll wear it."
"Good boy. Tell your sister to get ready for her school pickup, and you get ready too. I'll let you know as soon as I'm able to come for you."
A little shiver ran through me, in spite of myself.
"Be safe, Connor." The line clicked off.
Maddy clucked her tongue at me playfully. "You slut."
"What? Hey!"
"You're gonna move in with Ezra, but you want to keep Pete in love with you all the same?"
"That's not fair. Ezra doesn't see me like that."
"He just asked you to live with him."
"Only because he doesn't want to keep breaking their rules to come down here," I protested. "According to Dr. Sarias I'm going to be, like, a pet." Actually, I should have asked about that while I had Ezra on the phone. What exactly did that mean?
Her eyes widened with glee. "Well, that's even better, isn't it?"
I boffed her with my pillow, knowing just where her mind was going—because it was what I'd first thought of too. "Shut up."
"But just think... you'd have an excuse to lick his face!"
"Agh!" I whacked at her again, so she jumped, giggling, down from my bunk.
A second later, her head popped up over the edge of my bed and I got smacked in the face with her pillow. "And sit in his lap!"
I retaliated, though it meant hanging halfway over the bunk to reach her, and putting a bit too much weight on my chest that was still a little sore. Maddy shrank back against the wall, cackling as I flailed my pillow at her like a maniac. Her school papers rustled and rumpled underneath my knees, but I didn't care. "Cut it out," I threatened, though I was laughing too.
She was wheezing so much there were tears in her eyes, but she still managed to deliver one more, while wielding her pillow like a shield. "And h—hump his leg!"
"Oh my God. Get over here, I'm gonna—" Since she was still bunkered against the wall I went down the ladder after her. She shrieked as I attacked her on her own turf. For a while we whaled on each other without mercy, until we were both laughing so hard we collapsed together on the floor.
Mom pushed our bedroom door open with a bang and stood in the doorway, glaring. "Jesus Christ, stop this racket before I take a belt to you both!" She was still in her work polo, her hair disheveled from its ponytail. "It is fucking four in the afternoon, I just worked a fucking double, and I'm going to fucking bed. I swear to God Almighty, you wake me up and it's coming out of your hides, you hear?"
We quickly gathered control of ourselves, sitting up on the carpet. "Yes, Mom."
Her eyes lit on the school brochure that had fallen on the floor during our play fight, and she stuck out a hand. "What's that?"
I looked at Maddy—did she want Mom to know? She grabbed it up and handed it to her, so I guess that meant she didn't mind.
Mom grunted as she looked it over. "When are they coming to get you?"
"August fifth," Maddy answered.
Mom grunted. She flipped the flyer over, then huffed and looked at me. "So where's yours?"
"Huh? I didn't get one, Mom. That's a girls' school."
"No shit, brainiac, that's why I asked. They're supposed to take you too, that was the deal."
Crap, should I tell her about Ezra's offer? I didn't know if she actually knew the reason I was disqualified, or whether saying something would go against Ezra's warning not to talk about it. But before I could come up with a reply Mom shook her head and rubbed her forehead with one hand. "Oh, screw it. I'm too beat to deal with this. I'll make another round of phone calls tomorrow and figure it out. For now, you two be quiet and let me sleep, got it?"
"Yes, Mom," we said. She left, slamming the door behind her. Then her bedroom door shut too, and there was a loud squeaky groan from the mattress as she dropped onto her bed.
Maddy and I looked at each other, which was a mistake because we both got hit with the giggles again. We quickly clapped our hands over our mouths and turned away from each other, because when Mom threatened a whipping she wasn't joking. I scrambled up to my bunk, then almost lost it again when Maddy tossed my pillow up to me.
We didn't face each other after that until we could hear Mom's snores reverberating through the wall. Then I crept down from the bed and into the kitchen, and fixed a pot of red beans and rice for dinner. I made enough to save a portion for Mom in Tupperware and left it in the fridge. Doing the dishes would make too much noise, so I left them in the sink and Maddy and I tiptoed back to our room. Playing together was a sure fire way to forget about keeping quiet, so I sat in my bunk and read while Maddy painted her nails and watched a movie on her phone.
I got so absorbed in my book that I didn't realize how late it was until I heard Maddy breathing softly in sleep underneath me. According to my watch it was eleven P.M. I bent over the bunk to find her sprawled the wrong direction on her bed, with her feet sandwiching her pillow and her earbuds still in. The screen of her phone was dark.
I climbed down, extra careful not to shake the bed, and moved Maddy's phone and earbuds over to the desk. I pulled off my shorts, switched off the lamp, and felt my way back up to my own bed in the dark, in my boxers and a tank top. I tossed the sheet over me, because even when it was ungodly hot at night I still needed the feel of something covering me up in order to fall asleep.
But I lay there staring at the shapes and shadows that made up the top of our closet door. Had Ezra really said I could move in with him? Was I crazy for even considering it? I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was really going to move to a whole different state to follow my sister? She was headed off to a special school for the successful Nephilim "study" subjects. But I wasn't invited, because I was... what?
A mistake?
If Elioud Biogenesis only wanted girls, and if Mom hadn't known she was having twins, then there were two possibilities: either nobody knew I was in her belly with my sister, in which case I was an accident; or they did know, and I was collateral damage. Or maybe not even that... maybe I was just a casual waste byproduct of their operation. Maybe boys like me were created all the time, all over the world, even, and nobody cared enough to notice. They were the kids who disappeared, or died in some tragic, inexplicable suicide that everyone chalked up to teen angst or mental illness or whatever, when God only knew what unspeakable things had happened to them before it got to that.
What would have happened to me, if not for Ezra? What would have happened that night with Felix? What would have happened when that dog chased me in the street? After Tyler and his buddies left me and Maddy in the desert? Worse, every one of those scenarios paled in comparison to what might yet happen, if I didn't have the formula Ezra had given me.
He'd been protecting me my whole life. Now he was asking me to live with him, but I still didn't know why. What was I to him? A science project would make the most sense. Some kind of lifelong—and soon to be live-in—case study.
The thought made me sad. But at least it meant I wasn't worm food, right? And... at least it meant I got to be important to him in some way. Maybe even be of help to him.
Ezra? Are you sleeping? I held my breath. My watch thumped twice, and I exhaled in relief.
I can't sleep. Realizing that wasn't a yes or no question, and that unless I wanted to take a crash course in Morse code those were really Ezra's only two options for responding, I added, Are you at home right now?
Two thumps. No, then.
At work?
One thump.
Wow, but it's so late. Do you work late a lot?
Thump.
Am I interrupting you?
Thump Thump.
I rolled onto my side and tucked my hand beneath my cheek. I'm kind of freaking out. The thing you guys did to my mom. It's not supposed to be done to boy babies, is it?
There was no response, and I sighed. You can't tell me, huh?
Thump Thump.
Okay. Can I try to guess what you're working on right now? I needed something to get my mind off all these frightening thoughts.
He thumped yes.
Is it the blocker formula? No.
The sensor for my watch? No.
Is it a medicine? Yes.
Okay, then, we were getting somewhere. Is it an antibiotic? No.
Antiviral? No.
Does it cure cancer? No.
A painkiller? No.
Is it for a genetic disease? This time, there was a slight pause. Then a single thump. Ooh. Getting warmer.
An immune deficiency? No.
Chromosomal anomalies? No.
My knowledge of possible genetic disorders was pretty limited, so this was getting harder. Um... cystic fibrosis? No.
Hemophilia? No.
I thought for a while, until something occurred to me. Is it for a condition that humans know about? No.
Does it affect Nephilim? No.
I swallowed, because I was pretty sure I knew what we were discussing. But I wasn't ready to end our game just yet. I wanted to keep talking to him.
So humans are the only ones who have it? Yes. Do a lot of us have it? No. Does it make us sick? No. Does it hurt us?
For that one, my watch stayed still. Yeah, that answer might not be as straightforward as a simple yes or no. It only hurts sometimes?
Yes.
I took a deep breath. Do I have it?
Yes.
I was right, then. So... you're working on a cure.
Yes.
For me? The question was probably narcissistic, but he answered yes again.
So that really was it, I was a guinea pig. Somehow that felt both heavy and hopeful at the same time. Do you think it will work?
Stillness. I let that sink in. It probably wasn't fair to ask him that. I didn't know how education worked in his world, but he didn't look old enough to have graduated college, much less to have tinkered away in a research lab for the number of decades it would likely take to figure out how to undo a genetic alteration. The point was, he was working on it. Which meant maybe someday, I'd be okay.
Then another realization dawned. If so, would it work for anyone? Like, if my sister doesn't want to go along with what you guys have planned...?
Yes.
I bet there are Nephilim who don't like you working on this.
Yes.
Damn. Ezra wasn't just sticking his neck out by coming down here to save my butt from trouble. His people had been running this program since the fifties, and probably long before that. I wanted to ask more targeted questions—why did they need human girls? Were all their females sterile, maybe? What exactly had the injection done to us? How many kids did they do this to? Were the Nephilim like, an endangered species?
But I knew he couldn't answer any of that. Still, it was a good bet that this system they'd come up with was vital to their society to some degree. Otherwise they wouldn't be investing so much in running the prenatal clinics, paying human parents monthly for fifteen years, operating a private luxury school for the girls who made it through with all the criteria they needed. It had to be absurdly expensive. According to Ezra, the students at the school were precious.
So, the fact that he was working on a way to cure us had to be putting him on a lot of Nephilim shit lists.
Then again, he wasn't even sure he could do it, and that was just as scary a thought.
Ezra, if it doesn't work... am I going to live with you forever?
Yes, he replied with zero hesitation.
I tried to sort out my feelings about that. Intellectually I knew I should be worried. Forever was a long time. What if he got married? Had kids with a genetically modified girl of his own? What would that make me, the weird third wheel roommate? Being secretly in love with him while all that was going on would suck, big time.
Unless his cure worked, or some cute gay Nephilim dude came along who wanted to take over Connor-duty, I was likely in for a pretty lonely existence.
But for once, the giddy teenager in me was undaunted by gloomy, far-reaching thoughts. Seeing Ezra every day... making him pancakes in the morning, baking him the most sugar-laden treats I could come up with, keeping house for him...  hell, doing his laundry sounded appealing. I could bask in that spicy citrus scent of his as much as I wanted. Even the prospect of being his lab rat for the rest of my life actually felt kind of okay. It meant I could stay close to him, spend time with him. Maybe help him with his work, once I understood it better.
My watch vibrated, a different feel from the yes-or-no signals. I turned my wrist to see a blue icon glowing on its face, shaped like a crescent moon. A moment later, it started thumping again. Only this time it was softer, and in rhythm.
Ba-dump. Ba-dump.
A heartbeat.
Is that you? I asked in amazement. I touched my fingertips to the pulse in my neck, but the beat of the watch wasn't in sync with my pulse at all. It was firm and even, and comfortingly familiar. That's your heart, isn't it?
Ba-dump. Ba-dump. I didn't have to hear his voice to understand what he was telling me.
Go to sleep, Connor.
My eyes closed, and I let out a slow breath. You know, when I was a kid, this sound made me feel like nothing bad could ever get me.
Steady, calm thudding. I could almost imagine his arms around me, strong and invincible. He was hundreds of miles away, but he'd found a way to be here just because I was lonely and scared, even though I wasn't in any physical danger. It was probably pathetic how much that meant to me.
Stay with me.
It was my last prayer before I fell asleep.