Miracle - Chapter 25: Chapter 25

By morning I was puffy-eyed and dog-tired. I hadn't really slept, other than a feverish nightmare where I'd watched Ezra get put to death over and over again in a hundred gruesome ways. As the early morning light started to creep across my ceiling, I braced myself for an inevitable erection.
It never came, though.
What I did have were abdominal cramps. I must have worried myself into a case of indigestion over the course of the night. I crawled out of bed and into the bathroom, spent some time on the toilet, and took some antacids. Then I showered and went back into the room to put the Swan's calendar on the television.
He'd canceled his morning appointment, but there was another one at eight-thirty A.M.
Wow. It was scheduled to go all day, until four-thirty in the afternoon. If I hurried, I might have a few minutes to talk to him. I'd been too shocked last night to be able to ask him more about Ezra's situation, but maybe I could get in a question or two before he got on with his day.
I pressed the unlock button for my door, and a minute later got a confirming beep. When I opened the door I was surprised to see the Swan standing there.
"Rough night," he observed, looking me over. It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyway. I was feeling queasy. "Come downstairs and let's get you some breakfast. We have things to talk about."
In the kitchen, he rolled up his sleeves. "I can do pancakes," he said, and I winced. "Not a fan, eh? How about an omelette?"
That was better, though I wasn't sure I could eat. He began pulling things from the refrigerator, and gestured with the point of a knife for me to take a seat at the island counter when I tried to help. "You look like hell," he informed me. "Just sit, I'll take care of things. You saw my calendar for today?"
"Yeah, I'll lock myself in before eight-thirty."
"Actually, it's not that kind of appointment."
Well, that was a first.
"I'd appreciate it if you remained out of sight, however. The patron who's coming to see me is Ariel Mekas."
"I know that name," I said slowly.
"Everyone in Enoch's Peak knows him. He's one of the council members, and he's Chief Medical Officer at Elioud Biogenesis. He is also Ezrael's father."
I inhaled. "His... father?" The information penetrated at the same time that my brain located the memory it was looking for. Doctor Ariel Mekas, the man named in Mrs. Moss' lawsuit. He'd tried to talk her into an abortion. He'd promised her Timmy would be fine, then refused to admit what they'd done to him.
That Ariel Mekas was Ezra's father?
"On any other day Ariel and I would be engaged in the usual business, but as you can imagine, today he is in need of a different kind of fortification. His son's case will be reviewed and judged by the council, and he's had to recuse himself due to the conflict of interest. He's asked me to watch the live broadcast with him and help strategize."
"Why you?" I asked.
"Well, I have connections and I'm sure he plans to ask for a few favors. And he's a widower. He has no one else to lean on through this, but he knows I have a soft spot for him." The Swan winked as he flipped his omelette pan. "I can't help myself, he's such an adorable grumpy-wumpy bear."
"But if the council's going to judge Ezra today, what is there to strategize about?"
"Ah, the judgment rites are just the first phase, on day one. Once the council has decided on the things Ezra is to answer for, then come the advocacy rites on day two." He set a steaming plate in front of me. "That's where members of the community can speak to the council to encourage clemency or rigor in sentencing. Everyone who wishes to say something will get the chance. The council weighs everything it hears when deciding on punishment. They'll adjourn for the evening, consider things individually overnight and then together as a group the following morning. The final phase occurs on the afternoon of day three, when everyone gathers again to hear the outcome."
"They decide everything in three days?" That was unheard of in the court systems where I came from.
"Yes. There's not much crime among Nephilim, so when it does happen the response is swift."
"How long before the sentence gets carried out?"
"Usually it's right away, though it depends on the nature of the punishments. Some may have to be spread out over many days, or years."
"But what about an appeal period? Or a re-trial?"
The Swan shook his head. "The council's decisions are final."
My belly cramped again sharply. I clutched it and pushed my untouched plate back. "I'm sorry, Mr. Swan, I don't think I can eat right now."
He didn't get upset. "Quite all right, sweetness. But take the plate up with you in case you change your mind, hm? Ariel and I will be watching the proceedings in the sitting room and it may be a long day. Whatever you choose to do with the time, keep a lid on the pheromone production, will you? I won't be able to properly attend to him if you get me all hot and bothered."
I made my way back upstairs with the plate. It was so unappetizing I wanted to throw it away, but I settled for putting it in the bathroom instead.
It wasn't long before I heard voices downstairs. I was lying on my back on the bed, trying to will away the nausea, but as the conversation got louder I opened my eyes.
"I appreciate this, Swan." The voice wasn't quite as deep as Ezra's, but it was sharper and much more cold. "I realize my request is unusual."
"You're paying me, honey, I'm here to be whatever you need me to be. Make yourself comfortable, I've prepared some of that tea you like."
"It should be starting in a few minutes."
"Yes, and I'll be by your side the whole time."
"You can stop. I'm not a child."
"No, you're a big, scared papa whose big, important job means he can't let anyone know how scared he is."
"Nonsense. Ezrael brought this on himself. I've been trying to set him right for decades, but here we are."
"Yes, here we are. And here's your tea. Scootch over now, I'm going to snuggle in right here. There we go. Okay, let's just turn this on..."
At this point it occurred to me that I hadn't actually locked my bedroom door. I reached for the remote on the nightstand, but hesitated.
I could watch the broadcast myself up here, but then I wouldn't be able to hear what Ezra's father and the Swan talked about. The Swan had said they were going to strategize.
I went to the dresser and got my leather jacket, putting it on and zipping it up. I wanted to keep it close to me anyway, it was the only thing that still had a hint of Ezra's scent after so long. Then I crept to the door and turned the knob, painstakingly slowly. I cracked the door just a bit.
Only about a third of the big flat screen downstairs was visible over the balcony. But that had an easy solution, I put the one in my room on mute and turned it to the same channel. Now I had the audio from downstairs as well as the full picture, and I could hear Ariel and the Swan talking. I settled cross-legged onto the floor by the door.
I wondered what he looked like, Ezra's father. From that voice I was picturing Robert De Niro in an Italian suit, with unforgiving mobster eyes. I didn't have to wonder long, though, because when the broadcast started it was one of the first things they brought up.
"The Enoch's Peak council is convening today on a rare criminal matter, the case of Ezrael Mekas, who has been on the run from Nephilim authorities for the last two weeks. He was captured yesterday in Salt Lake City. One member of the council, Fourth Seat Ariel Mekas, will be conspicuously absent from the proceedings, as he is the sinner's father."
A photograph appeared on the screen, and it wasn't what I'd expected. Apparently, Ariel Mekas was a Viking lumberjack in a white doctor's coat. He had a dark, curly beard that reached to his sternum, with a thick mustache and bushy brows. His head was shaved bald on the sides, with a mane of long, wavy hair from his forehead back that he wore in a ponytail. His shoulders were so disproportionately wide, he could probably deadlift a tractor.
I'd totally gotten the eyes part right, though.
Damn, now I was trying to picture the Swan cuddling this guy on the couch downstairs and it was not coming together in my head at all. Doctor or not, Ariel looked like he ate small children for breakfast.
The Swan had sex with this man? Regularly?
The reporter started going on about the things Ezra was suspected of: killing Tyler, kidnapping me, breaking Reservation so brazenly that he'd once walked into a small-town Fourth of July celebration, bold as you please, to be glimpsed by several hundred humans at once.
What they conveniently forgot to mention was that he'd been saving my life at the time.
They named other things too. Apparently he was refusing to answer questions about my whereabouts, which was a sin of insurrection. He was suspected of trafficking me, or at the very least holding me captive for his own abuses, which was a sin of cruelty to humans. It was suggested that he might have killed me, as well. But the biggest thing they were all going on about was how the media coverage in the human world had gotten out of control. How the secret of their existence had been threatened. It was apparently the worst possible betrayal, and for that, people wanted him held accountable for treason.
God, we were only twenty minutes in and I was already pissed and terrified.
"My, it's warm in here, don't you think?" the Swan said rather loudly from below, and I bit my lip. I went as quietly as I could to the bathroom, and dug out my bottle of blocker spray. I spritzed it where it needed to go, and forced myself to sit on the toilet breathing in and out to the count of six, which wasn't quite what Ezra'd taught me, but the number seven was too infuriating.
When I finally had myself under control, I tiptoed back to the door.
The newscasters had moved inside the Community Hall, which was like a cross between a church and a courtroom. Huge stained glass windows adorned the front, and underneath them was a long judges' bench with spaces for multiple people. Seven, to be exact, though one seat was empty. There were three men and three women sitting up there, all wearing emerald green toga-looking things. A podium stood in the open space in front of the bench, while the rest of the room was filled with pews for the public. There were so many people that some were standing around the walls in the back without a seat.
They brought Ezra out, and the pain in my stomach increased. He was still manacled, crowned with that blinking halo, wearing a white tunic and loose white pants. I was relieved that he wasn't gray-skinned anymore, at least. He didn't make eye contact with anyone as he was led to a stand facing the audience, in view of the council's long bench. Two Nephilim dressed in black sat him down, and planted themselves like grim gargoyles on either side of him.
First, a forensic specialist presented a twelve-year timeline of Ezra's suspicious behavior. Apparently he vanished from work at odd times, but the keypad log at his apartment didn't show that he'd returned home. Cell phone records pinged towers in Raton, Dalhart, and then Prickly Pear frequently during those disappearances. They'd found an article from the Prickly Pear town website that referenced a 'giant black stranger' who'd ridden in from the desert on the Fourth of July to drop off a local teenager bitten by a snake. The time stamps on Ezra's phone records matched up.
The presenter played a video clip of Phillip, the arcade manager, being interviewed at the Prickly Pear police station. One side of his face was swollen big as an eggplant with bruises. He insisted to the investigator that he didn't know the identity of the "huge n—— who hit like a motherfucking tank" and had knocked out about twenty grown men, including two cops, in a parking lot brawl.
I was cringing at the casual racism of my hometown. It wasn't just homosexuality they degraded, and I was really glad the police hadn't gotten their hands on Ezra that night.
Then a photo went up on the screen. I recognized it as a security cam photo from the front of the Bucky Mart. It showed Ezra from behind, riding away on his motorcycle, with my legs hanging off his lap. He didn't have his helmet on, so there was a tiny sliver of his profile showing.
The onlookers in the Hall gasped and muttered.
"Not only was Mekas in public in a human area, but he failed his basic obligation to occlude this security camera," the presenter said. "This photograph has been particularly difficult to contain. It's appeared on human news broadcasts across the country, was published on national news sites, has been reblogged thousands of times on social media. There is also a widely publicized interview with a motel owner in New Mexico who says the sinner spent two days there with a teenage boy who appeared incapacitated. That's received a good deal of attention, including an FBI investigation we had to curtail. In total, Wise Council, I have documented thirty-two instances of broken Reservation, and I wasn't even able to pull records going as far back as I'd like. It is my professional assessment that the actual number is at least double that."
From downstairs, I heard an angry grunt. "Michael's balls, what was he thinking?"
"He had his reasons," the Swan answered.
"Reasons, my ass. He hasn't been right in the head since his first day at the Institute. You know, most Reserved kids wanting to get their rocks off would find someplace they could blend into a crowd. Vegas, Rio, L.A. I offered to bring him to you a dozen times, tried year after year to get him to bid for a Bride, but no. He had to fixate on that white trash Eljo boy."
Even Ezra's father assumed I was some kind of fetish. Did nobody in Ezra's life actually understand who he was?
Paper shuffling and discussion commenced among the council members. The conversation was captured by microphones, so the entire audience could hear them debating the information. I wanted to yell at the television so many times, and occasionally I heard Ariel scoffing or arguing as if he'd forgotten he wasn't sitting up there himself, but the audience in the Hall remained dead silent. Ezra sat without moving, his eyes on the floor.
After about a half hour the old Nephilim named Absalom spoke directly into his microphone and addressed the room. "It is the council's judgement that Ezrael Mekas has committed thirty-two violations of Reservation law, and recklessly imperiled the welfare of the Nephilim community."
I heard Ariel grunt again. "Second-degree flagellation, guaranteed."
Flagellation. One of the seven punishments, meaning Ezra would be flogged. I didn't know what 'second-degree' meant, but it didn't sound pleasant. I put a hand over my mouth to stifle a sob.
"There, there, honey, Ezrael's a strong boy. He'll make it through just fine."
"He deserves it," Ariel said flatly, as if the prospect didn't bother him a bit.
I was a little lightheaded, and the council was far from done. Next, they had a different specialist present photos of the Bucky Mart restroom. There were close ups of the thick metal door, where it had been ripped from its hinges and bent at a twenty degree angle over the side of the nearby dumpster. The analyst went over the physics involved, with the conclusion that only a Nephilim, with a hefty expenditure of angelic power, could have accomplished it. Then they went over the blood evidence found at the scene, supported by photos of the smashed mirror and bloody sink.
I had to turn away, because the reminders were making me gag. I scrambled back to the bathroom for another dose of blocker and then laid on my back on the cold tile floor, trying to get rid of the horrors behind my eyelids. I could hear the analyst on TV saying my name repeatedly. I'd bet they were showing everyone pictures of me now, too.
"Connor Hayes is the only male Eljo created since 1967. He turned fifteen years old on June twenty-fifth of this year, and blood found at the scene confirms he has begun ripening. Council records reflect that over the last ten years, Mekas has filed fourteen petitions for a pet license regarding the Hayes boy, the most recent of which was denied just hours before this kidnapping took place."
What fucking kidnapping? Tyler was trying to rape me!
"Ezrael," I heard Absalom say, and I dragged myself out into the room to see if he was on camera. "Where is the Eljo?"
They put Ezra on the screen, but he didn't move or even act like he'd heard. Absalom sighed. "The evidence is clear, you have an obsession with this boy. If you will not answer the question, we must assume the worst."
Ezra still didn't respond.
"Very well. Council members, what have you to say?"
"Insurrection is obvious," said the elderly woman to his right, who had to be Elioud. "He refuses to answer, at the peril of his people."
"At this point let us hope he killed the Eljo, and saved us from the liability," said the Seventh Seat guy.
"That was a violent abduction. So much blood. If he could do that to the kid, he's capable of pretty much anything else."
"Investigator, have you found anything to indicate the boy's fate?"
"No, Wise Council. We are still looking, but we've no leads at this time."
Another Elioud, in the Fifth Seat, spoke up. "Well, that says everything, doesn't it? If there was a ripe male Eljo running around the human world, he'd be easy to find. They don't exactly fly under the radar. So Mekas either killed the Eljo or sold him."
From downstairs, I heard Ariel bellow. "You're going to deliver a judgment without evidence, Daisy? That's absurd, even for you. Come on, Absalom, rein her in."
But the council kept talking a few minutes more, and it looked like most of them agreed with her. Absalom leaned into his mic. "It is the council's judgment that—"
HE SAVED MY LIFE!
I couldn't let them do this. Of all the things they were going to punish Ezra for, it couldn't be for hurting me. I glowered at the television screen and threw the thought at those green toga people as hard as I could.
All three Nephilim at the bench jumped. Their heads snapped up and they started looking around the room.
"Did you hear that?" the Seventh Seat asked.
Well, shit. I guess I could pray to folks other than Ezra. I'm alive, I thought to them fiercely. Ezra didn't kidnap me! And then, to make sure they understood, I closed my eyes and sent them every last grisly detail I could remember. Tyler's crazed leer as he punched me and tried to bite my ear off. How it felt when my face got smashed into the mirror. The icy terror as he'd torn my pants and underwear down and slapped my naked ass. The haunting clank as he unbuckled his belt. How much it had all hurt, like being crushed and torn apart at the same time. The mighty crash of the restroom door flying off. I sent them everything.
When I opened my eyes, the Third Seat had his head in his hands like he had a migraine, and the Fifth Seat, Daisy, was trying to ask him what was wrong. The three Elioud looked completely confused. But Absalom looked straight into the newscaster's camera, and I gulped. It really felt like he was staring directly at me through the television screen.
"All right, Connor, that's enough. We hear you."
"What?" exclaimed the women, and from downstairs I could hear Ariel shouting the same thing. He used more colorful vocabulary, though.
Ezra would never, ever hurt me. This thought I sent to Absalom alone, because I couldn't see the other two while the camera was zoomed in. I was shaking and fighting back dizziness in the wake of those memories. I'm alive and I'm safe thanks to him.
"I understand," Absalom replied, and the camera panned back to show a wider view of the room. For the first time, Ezra's head had come up, and the deadpan expression was gone. He was staring at Absalom in shock, and maybe a little fear.
"Will you tell us where you are?" Absalom asked into the camera. Maybe this had been a stupid thing to do. Now they knew I was somewhere in Enoch's Peak; how else could I be watching what was going on? What if I ended up getting the Swan in trouble?
If Ezra doesn't trust you with that information, neither do I.
"Will someone please explain?" the woman next to him cried. "Are you talking to the Eljo right now?"
"He's talking to us," Absalom answered, which set off a faint murmur through the audience. He looked past her to the other two Nephilim council members. "This is quite unorthodox, but... thoughts?"
"Well, he's not dead," the Seventh Seat grumbled.
"He's still in conspiracy with Mekas to hide from us," the Third Seat added sullenly, as if I'd pissed him off with the unpleasant imagery.
"You're sure it's him?" the Elioud named Daisy asked. All three Nephilim nodded.
Absalom looked down the table, gathering consensus. "Very well. It is the judgment of this council that Ezrael Mekas has not harmed Connor Hayes. However, Mekas' refusal to disclose his whereabouts is a sin of insurrection." He looked back into the camera again. "Connor, this is not how our justice system works. If you wish to speak on Ezrael's behalf, attend the advocacy rites tomorrow. Otherwise, I warn you not to interrupt these proceedings again."
"Where are you, you little vermin?!" Ariel shouted downstairs, and I shrank away from the door. "Show your face, I'll put you down myself. What the fuck have you done to my son? How dare you hide behind prayers while he's on the executioner's block?"
"Ariel, breathe. This is good, isn't it? The boy just saved Ezrael from several far worse judgments."
"Saved him? He's the cause of all this! Wherever that whelp is, when this is over I'm going to find him. He's going to pay!"
The ironic thing was, I agreed completely. This was all my fault. I heard the Swan shushing Ariel gently as the next presenter came out.
Now they wanted to talk about Tyler. More photographs went up on the screen, this time of Tyler's dead body. Those I didn't look away from, even when they showed how the back of his skull had been smashed into a gory mess. The investigator's analysis was that Tyler had been thrown with immense force into the cinder-block wall of the restroom. His shoulder blades had shattered from the impact, and he had massive internal bleeding. He'd died instantly from the head trauma.
"The question, Investigator, is whether his death was intentional?"
"He's the only one that knows," the Nephilim investigator replied, jerking his head at Ezra. "All I can say for sure is that angelic force was used to throw him. None of us has that much physical strength."
"Do we know what this human boy was doing there?" the Second Seat Elioud asked. "Did he interrupt the abduction?"
Absalom shook his head, looking down the bench at the other Nephilim. "He was in the process of assaulting the Eljo."
Ezra's head came up again, as if he was wondering how Absalom could have known. Absalom met his gaze evenly. "Perhaps this was intended as a rescue?"
"Or maybe Mekas just doesn't like the idea of someone else putting their hands on his property," the Third Seat pointed out. "He didn't have to kill the human in order to stop him."
The Sixth Seat was an Elioud, definitely the quietest of the group. But she spoke up to say, "Unfeeling though it may be, the law says an unlicensed Eljo's welfare is not a Nephilim matter. If angelic power was used to interfere, it is a sin."
There wasn't much more discussion after that. I felt my heart sink as Absalom leaned into his microphone. "It is the council's judgment that Ezrael Mekas has killed the human Tyler Crockett."
Ariel cursed. "They're going to apply deprivation and castration."
"Don't despair, darling. There's still tomorrow, we can ask for clemency. If Ezrael killed one human to save another..."
"It won't matter! The law doesn't give a damn about a fucking Eljo!"
"Then we take a different approach."
"Like what?!"
"I'm thinking. Let's see how the rest plays out."
I was trying to remember what those punishments entailed. Deprivation was something about having abilities severed or stripped away. Castration was self-explanatory. Both were horrific. I could barely see the television, barely breathe through the panic. I was going to throw up.
"There is one final, overarching matter to decide," Absalom said, and he looked at his fellow council members with a gravity that was close to sadness. "Given the human attention that all of this has brought to our affairs, is Ezrael Mekas guilty of treason?"
"Yes," said the Second Seat Elioud, firmly.
"Acknowledged, Elizabeth. Samuel?"
"Yes," the Third Seat answered.
"Daisy?"
"The disregard he has shown for the laws and safety of his own people... it's despicable. Yes."
"Patricia?"
The Sixth Seat shifted in her chair and glanced over at Ezra. "I hate to say it, but yes."
Absalom inclined his head and looked at the Seventh Seat. "Jonah?"
"Yup."
"Then it's unanimous," Absalom said. He closed his eyes for a moment, as if the next words pained him. "It is the council's judgment that Ezrael Mekas... is a traitor."
Everything went silent. Not a sound from the television, no voiceovers from the reporters, and not a single noise from downstairs. My insides were petrified with dread. Why wasn't Ariel yelling at the TV? Why did everyone look like they'd just swallowed a mouthful of nail polish remover?
"Okay. Okay, Ariel honey, I'm turning it off now."
My television remained on, but not much was happening. They zoomed in on Ezra, who was back to staring at the floor without emotion. But with the downstairs TV off, there was no audio except for some unintelligible murmurs from the Swan.
Finally, Ariel rumbled back. It was so deep and quiet I couldn't make out the words.
"Now you quit that," the Swan answered. "We're not giving up."
Ariel rumbled again.
"Nope. Nope, we're going to fight, hard as we can. Listen to me, now. Everyone knows that Ezrael is your only son."
"Yes, and he's a convicted traitor."
"He's still the last of his bloodline. No one understands that better than Absalom and Patricia. Daisy, too, no matter how much you two may clash."
"I'm a member of the council, I can't request exemptions for my own family."
"You absolutely can, it's why you're recused from the decision making. You may be a council Seat, but you're Nephilim first. You're a father first. And it won't just be you asking. You're going to be there with Florence and Ruth. Ask them to speak on behalf of their mothers. Barbara was Elizabeth's Diamond in school, remember? Ruth will get through to her. And everyone in Enoch's Peak positively worships Florence."
"It won't save him, Swan, so what's the point?"
"To buy him time. Yes, they're going to order his execution—"
My ears started ringing.
"—but there's precedent for staying it, if we can make it about your family and not him. The key here is, how comfortable are you with being the bad guy? Because Ezrael may hate you for this."
"He already hates me," Ariel answered. "I don't care."
"We both know that's not true, but never mind that right now. Go home and call your girls, coordinate what you'll say tomorrow. And when you talk to Ruth, tell her she needs to bring Madison Hayes with her from the school."
Maddy?!
"Who the fuck is Madison Hayes?"
"The Eljo's sister. She's one of the new first years at B.O.H. I imagine she'll have a thing or two to say about the man who's going to be punished for protecting her brother."
Oh my God, Maddy. Had she been watching all of this today? She must have been out of her mind when they were showing those photos of the Bucky Mart restroom. But if she'd seen the broadcast, then at least she had to know that I was alive.
"In the meantime, let me work my magic. I have a couple aces to play. All you have to do is focus on your piece for tomorrow, and leave the rest to me."
"He's only fifty-five, Swan," I heard Ariel say. "And he's Reserved. He's barely even lived yet."
"I know, sweetheart, I know. We're going to do everything we can."
A few minutes later, the Swan tapped on my door and found me huddled against the wall. My face was wet, my lungs burned, and at the sight of him I assumed Ariel had left so I broke into sobs.
"I'm sorry," I gasped toward the ceiling.
The Swan stayed several feet away from me and raised a snowy brow. "You mean, for announcing to the whole town on live TV that you're here?"
"Fuck, do you think they know I'm with you?"
He smirked. "Nephilim aren't stupid, sweetness. I'm sure once the drama around Ezrael's trial wears down, I'll have some tricky questions to answer. But that was a damn brave thing you did."
"I'm not brave," I bawled, dropping my head onto my knees. There wasn't a foul enough term for what I was. Worthless. A waste of breath. A walking catastrophe that ruined everything. Every low down, useless thing Mom had ever accused me of, I was all of it and so much worse.
I had killed Ezra just by being born. Before I'd ever met him, he'd been trying to save me from what I was. He wasn't supposed to care. The Elioud council member Patricia said Eljo weren't a Nephilim problem, and that was true. We were worm food. Chew toys for bullies, perverts and closet cases. We were destined to burn out fast and bloody in a back alley or seedy nightclub, or maybe a sunless living room with a gun between our teeth. Unless we wanted to take the Swan's approach and say fuck 'em all... literally.
Every single thing they'd convicted Ezra of was caused by me. All the forbidden trips to check on me, Tyler's death, refusing to tell the council where I was, repeatedly risking exposure of his world rather than abandoning me to my fate. It was all me. I wasn't even supposed to exist.
"You showed them, didn't you? What that boy Tyler did."
I was crying too hard to respond, but the Swan didn't seem to need an answer.
"You re-lived it for them in their own heads. I thought Samuel was going to shit himself, I bet he's never in his life experienced what it's like to be that powerless. But I know how painful it is to take yourself back into an experience like that."
Ugh, I was getting nauseous all over again.
"So yes, you are very brave. What you did today may be the thing that lets us save him."
"You said he's going to be executed," I choked out.
"I said an order of execution was inevitable. But that doesn't mean we can't get them to throw in some caveats. I'm afraid I won't be able to join you for dinner tonight, I have phone calls to make. But be sure you eat something, because tomorrow is going to be an important day. We likely won't see each other until late, I'll be at the Hall."
"You're going to the advocacy thing?"
"Of course."
"Take me with you." I scrambled to my feet, and he backed up a step. "Please, Mr. Swan, I want to be there. The First Seat said I could go speak for Ezra."
"He said that so they can catch you. Eljo have no legal rights, we aren't allowed to participate."
"But you're going!"
"As support for my friends, but I won't be permitted to speak. Remember, people are upset that Ezrael put your interests above theirs. They'll want to exterminate you for being a menace. You'd be undoing everything he's worked so hard for."
God, my stomach hurt.
"I'm going downstairs," the Swan said, and he looked uncomfortable. There was a little sweat shining around his forehead. "Lock your door, I'll let you out when you're ready to eat."
But I couldn't imagine ever being hungry again.