Miracle - Chapter 26: Chapter 26

"Good morning, Enoch's Peak," Absalom said into his microphone, from behind the council bench. The Hall was packed so full that nearly everyone was standing.
"It is a sad circumstance that brings our community together today, but we appreciate each of you taking the time to attend. The advocacy rites are the most important portion of our justice process. We, the Enoch's Peak council, are requesting your guidance in deciding the fate of one of our own."
Ezra had been seated back in the criminal box, wearing the halo and manacles. His expression was so perfectly neutral that he might as well have had earplugs in. I wanted to reach out and touch him so badly. Fuck that stupid halo. I couldn't even pray to comfort him.
"The law provides seven punishments for those who have broken the public trust," Absalom continued. "These are banishment, restitution, flagellation, deprivation, castration, execution, and divorce.
"Ezrael Mekas has been judged guilty of the following: thirty-two counts of broken Reservation, reckless imperilment, one count of insurrection, one count of human cruelty resulting in death, and treason.
"The most common punishments for these sins are as follows. Broken Reservation: flagellation. Reckless imperilment: banishment, flagellation, or deprivation. Insurrection: banishment or flagellation. Human cruelty: restitution, flagellation, deprivation or castration. Treason: castration or execution. And of course, for married Nephilim, any sin may be punished by divorce if requested by his Bride.
"As Ezrael Mekas is Reserved and unmarried, he is ineligible for banishment or divorce. The council will hear any members of our community who wish to advocate for a specific level of punishment. In the interest of efficiency, family members will be allotted fifteen minutes of speaking time. Other speakers have five minutes. Please prepare your statements accordingly."
From the back of the room, I watched a bearded, ponytailed giant approach the podium. His footsteps were resolute and stiff. Absalom said, "The council recognizes Ariel Mekas, father of the sinner. As his closest relative, he has the right to speak both first and last today."
All I could see of Ariel was his back as he stood facing the council. Ezra kept his head down. I had the comforter of my bed fisted so tight in each hand that my arms were trembling.
"Wise Council," Ariel said into his microphone. "I stand before you deeply grieved. On behalf of my family and the Mekas bloodline, I apologize to the Nephilim community for the appalling behavior of my son. I agree with the judgments that have been issued, and will support whatever punishment this council deems proper for the sins he has committed. In particular, I would support a lengthy restitution in captivity, flagellation in the second or third degree, deprivation of angelic abilities, limbs, or any other senses as this council may see fit, and eventual execution."
Anger swelled my chest and I yelped. "What the fuck, you prick? You call yourself his father?" What had been the point of asking the Swan to help yesterday if he was going to say something as cold-hearted as that? Deprivation of limbs? Was he fucking kidding?
"However, I feel compelled to remind this council, and all my people, that Ezrael and I are the only remaining members of the Mekas bloodline. At one time, we were one of the strongest Nephilim families in Greece, and then in Rome. But we were nearly decimated in the divine judgment at Pompeii, and in the last millennium our family has suffered more devastating losses. Many of you know that my uncles were killed in the New Madrid Earthquake of 1811, and that my father was rendered infertile from his work during the human war, such that I became his sole successor. My two beautiful Brides," he paused for a moment like the word had gotten stuck in his throat, "who have both passed on, have blessed me with nine daughters and two sons. But my firstborn son, Claudiel, perished in an accident. In fact, next week will be the one hundred and first anniversary of his death." He paused again, and the audience murmured.
The council wore grave and sympathetic faces. Daisy actually looked like she was about to cry. And Ezra had hung his head even further, with a furrow between his brows that was either guilty or disgusted, I couldn't tell which.
"It is thus, with great contrition and shame, that I am requesting a waiver of castration, and forbearance of execution. Apply other punishments as you see fit, but stay Ezrael's execution and leave him intact, until such time as either he or I have fathered another son to continue our family line."
Absalom's eyebrows went up, and Elizabeth was shaking her head. Jonah laid his hands flat on the desk in front of him and leaned back in his chair, as if he was more impressed by the ingenuity of the proposal than moved by it.
But Ezra had looked up. And he was most definitely glaring at his father in revulsion. I could read the thoughts on his face, because I would have felt the same. You're not even trying to understand me. You don't give a damn about me. All I am to you is a genetic legacy.
I recalled what the Swan had said yesterday, though. We're going to fight, hard as we can... there's precedent for staying it if we can make it about your family and not him... Ezrael may hate you for this. Was this what he had meant?
And then Ariel drove it right home. "I ask the council to consider that my request is in no way a mercy. For if Ezrael is executed after the birth of his son, it will be a far greater penance to leave his Bride and child behind."
All right, now the council looked a little horrified. A mixture of shocked and approving murmurs rippled across the audience. I got the sense there was something I was missing, because they were all acting like that was the cruelest thing they could possibly imagine. I mean, I guess I got it. If they waited to kill Ezra until after he had more to lose, it would hurt worse.
Strategy or not, this Ariel guy was a monster. And I was starting to think the Swan was, too. Wasn't this all his idea? How was this helping Ezra in any way?
Absalom brought his mic a little closer. "We acknowledge your words, Ariel, and will consider them."
Ariel left the podium, and as he moved back into the crowd I glimpsed the Swan's familiar white-clad silhouette. The Swan was so short among the Nephilim that he would have been indistinguishable if not for his coloring. I saw him whisper in the ear of another man standing next to him, who had to bend over to hear. Then that man strode out into the aisle and bowed.
"Wise Council, may I speak?"
Absalom beckoned him up to the podium. "Introduce yourself, please."
"My name is Goliath Ramuas, from the Antioch community in Pennsylvania."
"The council recognizes you, Goliath. Speak."
"I stand before you today to advocate for a stay of execution, as the sinner's father has requested. Ninety years ago my father, too, sinned grievously against our people and was sentenced to death. As he was the only remaining Ramuas, his execution was stayed until my birth. Without that forbearance, my family line would have been wiped from the earth. But now I have three sons of my own."
The council looked impressed, and Patricia even leaned in to her microphone. "Congratulations, that is wonderful."
He bowed in her direction. "Thank you, great Elioud. I am a proud and grateful man. Our bloodline will continue to enrich the Nephilim race for generations to come. No matter what sin an individual among us has committed, I believe it is imperative to consider what will weaken us most in the end—the life of one man, or the death of an entire lineage."
There were some nodding heads up there, and Absalom said, "We acknowledge your words, Goliath, and will consider them. Thank you for traveling so far to share your experience with us."
Another Nephilim elbowed his way to the front after that, and barely waited for the council to acknowledge him before spitting into the microphone, "The traitor should die." He turned and stalked off, though the council acknowledged what he said with as much formality as the first two speakers. He was followed by an Elioud who was a little more talkative.
"I'm sorry, Doctor Mekas, but I don't think your son should be allowed to reproduce. He's mentally ill, maybe sociopathic. He put all of us at risk so he could chase down some Eljo. And look at him, he's not remorseful. He's continuing to keep the Eljo hidden, even now. If he's released, how many more times is he going to betray us? What if next time it brings the wrath of God down on our heads? What if his progeny inherits his unstable mind? I understand he's the last of your line, but if you want a successor you should marry again. Ezrael is a threat to us all and should be eliminated."
She was about to step down when she seemed to think of something else. "Oh, and I don't agree with flagellation or any of the rest. Those are meant to be rehabilitative, and this poor boy is sick beyond recovery. I see no value in torturing him to appease our anger. Let's end things for him quickly, and with mercy."
Shit. Shit, she had a point. If Ezra was going to die—oh, God, I couldn't stand it—but it would be better if they didn't do all the terrible, painful things to him first. What if executing him immediately, without all that, was really the kindest thing?
My stomach flipped over. I had to jump off the bed and run to the bathroom, heaving into the toilet. I hadn't been able to eat anything since Friday night, so there wasn't much to bring up. And then I heard Absalom speaking.
"Everyone, please hold for a moment. It's my understanding that the sinner's sister has arrived. The council will hear her next."
Ezra's sister? I went stumbling out of the bathroom, one hand clutching my stomach as the other covered my acid-smeared lips.
On the television, the crowd was parting like the Biblical Red Sea to make room for a wheelchair. It held a small, ancient-looking woman with sparse gray hair and pale skin as delicate as crepe paper. She was pushed toward the podium by another ancient, stooping person, this one a Nephilim who was nearly bald and had liver spots dotting his arms and neck. They proceeded slowly and purposefully up to the stand, where the Nephilim took the microphone down and handed it to the old woman in the chair.
Every single member of the council stood up and bowed.
"The council recognizes Florence Zavebas," Absalom said, in a tone of absolute reverence. "Speak, great Elioud."
I climbed up onto the bed, staring. How old was this person? How could she possibly be Ezra's sister? She was aged far more than Ariel.
"Wise Council," she said, and her voice held far more vigor than her feeble appearance would suggest. "You can sit down. I'm an Elioud, not The Queen of fucking England."
Everyone in the room chuckled, including the council members as they complied.
"Though Lizzie and I are close to the same age," Florence continued. "We've got a bet going to see which of us is going to wear an obscenely festive bonnet to the other's funeral."
The audience laughed again, and the old Nephilim laid his hand on her shoulder with tenderness. She patted it and then looked over at Ezra, who had his lips pinched together like a shamefaced child. "This naughty young man is my baby brother. And Michael's balls, Ez, you certainly have put your foot in it this time, haven't you? What a mess."
I think his face actually got ruddy.
"None of the ladies in this room will be old enough to recall this, but back in the day I used to get into all kinds of mischief myself. You see, once upon a time, as a little jewel in the Academy, I was informed that it was unlikely I would ever be able to contribute to our people. I was Elioud born, with a weak reproductive system. Every fertility specialist who examined me, my own father included, said nothing could be done, and that I was almost certainly Eljo."
Absalom and Samuel nodded as if they remembered. The Elioud on the council looked sympathetic.
"I was so angry. So full of rebellion and resentment. Unless you have experienced it yourself, you cannot imagine how it feels to be excluded from the community you were born into. How it feels to believe that you hold no worth to your own people. It was suggested that I should leave Enoch's Peak, find a human partner to spend my life with. But this place was the only home I'd ever known, and we all know that the human world is dangerous for an Eljo. I looked my father in the eye and told him if he wanted me gone, he would have to drive me out there and abandon me himself."
The camera found Ariel in the crowd and focused in on his face. His thick beard made it hard to read his expression.
"I may have raised a little hell at school for a few years. But you can't blame me, can you? I was a breath away from being expelled as it was. No one wanted me in their jewel chain. At graduation, only one Nephilim bid for my hand." Florence looked up at her husband again, and he gave her an adoring smile. "He was an abominably old fart who had already been widowed three times. He had six children, two of them sons, and was content with his lot. He bid for me only because he felt sorry for me."
"That's not true," her husband said, laughing. "I also thought how nice it would be to have a sweet, ripe little thing in my bed in the twilight of my life."
She flipped him off with a perfectly French-manicured middle finger. This drew more chuckles from the audience. Her husband just bent over and rubbed their noses together lovingly.
"At seventeen, I had to choose between marriage to this wrinkly old man, or a life in the human world cut off from everything I'd ever known. I chose the old fellow."
She smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling into a web of wrinkles across her face that were somehow breathtakingly beautiful. "And then, I gave him five more sons."
The people in the Hall broke into exuberant applause. The members of the council clapped too.
"I will forever be grateful to my Joel for extending his home and family to me, despite the belief that I would be fruitless as a Bride. But I will also never forget the despair I felt before he came into my life. What Joel did for me is much like what Ezzy wanted for that little Eljo boy, who was trapped in the human world and left to die. And so while others in my family may be embarrassed by his actions, I can only feel pride. All my little brother is guilty of, Wise Council, is having a heart that is bigger than his head."
The room was lost in silence. Ezra blinked, his lips parting in astonishment.
"As for my father's request regarding execution, I disagree. I do not feel Ez should be executed at all. Or Heaven forbid, castrated. And here I must speak on behalf of my dear mother, Clara Mekas. She was our father's first Bride. They were married for sixty-seven years, and in that time she contributed eight daughters and one son to our community. Of these, I am all that's left. I was born five years after my older brother Claudiel passed. My mother continued trying to give our family another son until her fertility was gone, at which time she insisted our father take a second Bride. And the day that Barbara gave birth to Ezzy was the happiest I had ever seen my mother. If Mother were here today to witness this, she would be on her knees before this council begging for his life. Today, I will beg you in her stead."
She gestured to her husband and he shook his head in protest.
"Do it or I'll divorce you, you stubborn geezer," she said. He shook his head again, looking to the council for help. When he would not assist, she took shaky hold of the arms of her wheelchair and started struggling to push herself out of it.
Ezra stood up, which made his guards seize his arms, but Absalom was on his feet too with his hands held out. "Oh, Florence, please don't. We understand."
"No," she said, pausing in her efforts in order to fix him with a measured stare. "With respect, Absalom, you do not. I am not sure anyone here understands. You are about to punish my brother for his goodness. If this had been an Elioud that Ez risked everything to protect, you would all be hailing him as a hero."
"Florence," Absalom said gently, as her hands shook on her wheelchair again and her husband Joel bent to put his arm around her. "Great Elioud, the council acknowledges your words. We will consider them carefully, I promise."
She still looked like she wanted to fight, but Joel squeezed her shoulder and murmured in her ear. She slackened into him, reluctantly, and he kissed her cheek and temple. Then he bowed to the council and drew her wheelchair back.
I sat there on the bed with emotions stretching my chest wide open. I wished I could jump through the television screen and hug that wonderful old lady. She was the only one out there making any sense.
"The council recognizes Ruth Armeras," Absalom said.
Another woman approached the podium. She had to be decades younger than Florence, walking tall and straight, with smooth black hair pulled into a knot at the base of her neck. She was smartly dressed in a tailored navy suit, with a large green and blue plaid bow at her neck. The camera zoomed in on her face. She looked like an older, more feminine version of Ezra. They had the same lips and cheekbones, and shared the same warm brown complexion. She could have been his mother.
"Wise Council," she said, her voice ringing with authority through the room. I don't think she actually needed the microphone. "I am also a sister to Ezrael Mekas."
"Speak, great Elioud."
"While I cannot condone his actions, I must advocate for the interests of my family. Ez and I are the only progeny of our mother, Barbara, who we lost just five years ago. Our mother was a strong, intelligent woman, but she never wanted to be Elioud. She missed her human life very much, and carried that unhappiness with her until the day she died.
"I wish to remind everyone that no matter what you may think of my brother's morals, it is an undisputed fact that he is one of the most brilliant researchers Elioud Biogenesis has ever seen. He has six doctorate degrees, and he's done more in the last fifteen years to further the Bride program than anyone. He single handedly developed the vaccine that boosts stability of an Elioud-born woman's pregnancy, which is now being used all over the world. And he is only fifty-five! Think of what he might accomplish over the next two centuries.
"My brother has an overblown interest in Eljo, to be sure, and he's made some foolish decisions in the pursuit of his work. But I believe it is that passion that will lead us into a future where Eljo no longer exist. Where I, as Directress of the Academy, never again have to look a poor sobbing girl in the eye and explain that she has to leave us, and send her into the human world as unprotected as a lamb among wolves.
"And yes, like my brother, I wish for a future where a girl like our mother may choose to safely return to the world she came from, rather than spend the rest of her life feeling like a vital piece of her is missing."
Ooh, the audience didn't like that. People were shifting and whispering. Ruth glanced over her shoulder, addressing the crowd. "Does the thought scare you? It's true, we have always had a shortage of Brides. But what if every Elioud-born daughter was as fertile as those cultivated through the Bride program? If every Eljo's infertility could be cured? We might double or even quadruple the number. If anyone can accomplish that, it will be my brother."
She turned back to the bench. "Here is my proposal, Wise Council. Flog Ez for his poor decisions. Deprive him of any faculty that is not vital to conducting his research. Castrate him too, if the inheritability of his quirks is a concern—though I believe it would be a shame not to pass down the incredible aptitude of his mind. But execution would be a terrible waste.
"Why not commit him to the custody of Elioud Biogenesis? Sentence him to a lifetime of restitution in captivity. Require him to serve his people as a ward of the Institute. He will be unable to break Reservation again, yet our race will not lose one of its most priceless resources."
I couldn't decide whether I liked this lady or not. But at least there was one person in this self-righteous hellhole who did get Ezra. I felt like I understood him better too—he was helping me because of his mother. He wanted to find a cure for the Elioud condition, so that no one else had to live their lives with the kind of sadness she'd endured. Florence was exactly right, his heart was too big for his head.
The council dismissed Ruth with respectful acknowledgment, and she met Ezra's eyes for a brief moment before stepping down. It looked like some sort of message was passing between them, even though that couldn't be, since he had the halo on.
Next up was a seriously pissed-off Nephilim who rambled for his full five minutes about how Ezra deserved everything that was coming to him, that as far as he was concerned, Ezra should be beaten and blinded and have all his extremities cut off, and then also be put to death. The council had to ask him to stop when he reached his time limit, and as he was backing away from the podium he cried out, "Besides, even if you give him the chance to spawn, no Elioud's going to accept a traitor in her bed!"
Ugh, what an asshole. I threw a pillow at the television, and then froze as someone else made their way up to the stand. Dark blond hair, cut in a bob. Plaid skirt, dark green jacket, knee socks. The camera was only showing her from behind, but I would have recognized Maddy anywhere.
I jumped to my feet on the bed and shouted her name.
"Introduce yourself, please," Absalom said.
"I'm Maddy Hayes," she declared into the microphone. "First year at Brides of Heaven."
"Ah." Absalom and the others inclined their heads. "The council recognizes you, great Elioud. You may speak."
"Connor Hayes is my twin brother. We shared a uterus for nine months, and the only reason he's Eljo is 'cause you asshats wanted me for your fucking breeding program. Which, by the way, he figured out all by himself way before you people showed up to take me, because he's smarter than all ya'all put together."
Up at the council bench, some of the Seats were looking offended. I winced. "Jesus, Maddy, tone it down!" She was going to piss them off, and these people held Ezra's life in their hands.
She was just getting started, though. "Ya'all so fired up to blame Ezra for exposure or whatever, but you know whose fault this is? Yours, dumbasses! You coulda just given him permission to bring my brother here and keep him safe. If you'd done that, none of this woulda happened. That fucker Tyler would never have gotten his hands on Connor. And by the way, Tyler so deserved what he got, you guys don't even know. I hope he rots in hell. Cruelty to humans, my ass! Ezra did the world a favor, ridding it of that cumstain."
Oh, God.
"Now Connor is missing. He might be hurt. He could have been killed or raped or pimped out to a gang of psycho pedophile freaks, but since he don't have a vagina, not one of you dickheads gives a fuck. Fuck you! Fuck all of you, Ezra's the only person here with any decency and you're gonna execute him for it? Don't you dare. Listen up, if no other Elioud has the good sense to pick him by the time I graduate, I'll marry him."
My eyes nearly bugged out of my head.
So did Ezra's.
"Everybody here goes on and on about how family is sacred. Well, guess what, Connor is my family, and he's in a shit ton of trouble because of what you assholes did to us. So you'd better believe that when I find him—and I'm going to—I'll be filin' my own petition to license him. Go ahead, try turning me down. If you think a blurry security cam photo is bad, just wait. I'll spill so much Nephilim tea it'll drown you sons of bitches, understand?"
I think they got the gist. But Absalom kept an admirably calm tone as he said, "The council acknowledges your words, great Elioud, and will consider them."
"You better," she replied, and then stepped back toward Ruth who was beckoning to her with a very disapproving frown.
Oh, man, Maddy had basically just threatened the entire Nephilim world, and cursed at the most powerful people in town. Was she going to be all right? She was short like me and mostly disappeared as soon as she got back into the crowd, but at least I had a general idea where she was standing. I kept staring at that corner of the screen in hopes of glimpsing her again.
Other people went up after that. They all had opinions on what should happen, ranging from the idea of executing Ezra immediately without further punishment, to granting Ariel's request for a stay, to making a gory example of him.
The only other speaker I found notable was a Nephilim who introduced himself as a visitor from Stockholm. He was apparently an international advocate for Eljo rights, lobbying among the most powerful Nephilim councils in the world for reformations of the law. Much like Florence, he made the argument that all of Ezra's convictions would be seen in a different light if my life held legal value. Interestingly, I could see the Sixth Seat Patricia nodding along in agreement. I was about ninety nine percent sure that this guy was also one of the Swan's special connections.
At last, the council called Ariel up again.
"I have heard everything that my neighbors and family have said today," he stated. "My request of this council remains unchanged. Allow our family lineage to survive. All other matters I leave in your hands, Wise Council."
🧬🧬🧬
When the Swan returned home for dinner, I sprang at him with all the anxiety eating a hole in my stomach. "I saw the whole thing. Do you think they're really going to—"
"Get upstairs quickly, Connor, and lock the door. I'm expecting a guest."
"But—"
"There isn't time, just go. Unless you want to get us both caught."
Disappointed, I started for the stairs.
"And Connor, if I try to unlock your door, deny me. No matter how many times it happens. If you hear anyone trying to break the door down, there's an emergency ladder hidden in the window seat. Use it to get out of the house, and run."
Whoa, what?
"Go, hurry." Just as he said it, I heard the front door open in the entryway. Whoever it was hadn't even rung the bell.
I dashed up the stairs, dove into my room, and locked the door. But then I couldn't help myself. I laid down flat on the floor, trying to listen underneath it. What the hell was going on?
"Absalom, welcome. It's been too long."
Oh. Holy shit. The council's First Seat was here?
"Don't give me that, Swan. What was all that today?"
"What do you mean?"
"You think I didn't know you were pulling the strings in there? Ariel and his daughters, with their perfectly targeted arguments. The Nephilim from Antioch and Sweden. The Eljo's sister, for God's sake. It has your scent all over it."
"Ah, if you're missing my scent, honey—"
"Cut it out. Do you have any idea how dangerous this is? Ezrael Mekas is a traitor. Your interference could get us both executed right along with him. I'm responsible for you, have you forgotten that? Don't make me regret giving you so much freedom. I can just as easily bring you home and pen you up in the backyard with a choke chain and a water dish."
"I know," the Swan said meekly, suddenly not at all playful. "I know, Absalom, and if that's what you want..."
"Of course that's not what I want. I want an explanation. What are you doing?"
"I had to. Do you know what I would've given to have someone like Ezrael looking out for me, when I was that boy's age?"
"I know you had a difficult ripening, but you can't let that impair your judgment. You have a good life here, don't you?"
"Yes, but only because of Niklas and you. Only because the Stockholm council licensed me, and neither of you threw me away. If that hadn't happened I wouldn't have survived, Absalom. You don't know what it's like out there."
"Maybe not, but the law is the law. The Mekas boy broke it, and he should suffer the consequences."
"Okay. Yes. But doesn't compassion warrant a little mercy?"
"You honestly believe he was stalking that Eljo out of compassion? Come on, you know better."
"I didn't mean Ezrael's compassion for the Eljo. I meant ours."
A long pause.
"I'm sorry for putting you in a bad position, Absalom. I'll accept whatever penance you command, but I couldn't stand by and do nothing in this. He's like me. He's the only other person in the world like me. And I pray to God that we are the last."
Absalom sighed. "Why is it that I can never stay angry with you?"
"Because I'm cute," came the reply. I guess the flirting had resumed.
"Be more careful from now on."
"I will. I promise." His voice turned shy, then, and not in the usual coquettish way. "Will you come upstairs with me? Just for a little while."
"Oh balls, I'm much too old for all that now. These days my back goes out of joint just from thinking too hard."
"I can take good care of you," the Swan implored. To my annoyance, I felt myself starting to tighten under my pajama pants. "I miss you so very much."
"We've talked about this," Absalom said, though he sounded gentler. "You know I can't feel the things you want me to. It's better this way. I've said everything I came to say, except this: there had better not be even a whiff of your influence at the sentencing tomorrow. I won't tolerate it, you understand?"
"Yes, Absalom. What do you think the council's going to do?"
"I don't know what we'll land on," he said. "But I'm learning toward immediate execution. No frills, minimal drama. I think it's best to have this over and done with, so that Ariel and our community can get back to their lives."
No. No, no, please. My eyes filled with tears, and I'm pretty sure there was a burst of pheromones all around me, like a dandelion struck by a sharp wind. A few seconds later I knew the Swan had felt it, because I got hit with a return volley. My internal temperature rose several degrees, and my groin was aching. It made an awkward contrast to the dull, clenching pain in my stomach.
I didn't want to hear anymore. I couldn't take it. I crawled up into the bed and threw the comforter over my head. This couldn't happen. Ezra couldn't die tomorrow. He didn't deserve any of this, it was my fault. My responsibility. He had so many people who needed him. I was the one whose life was unimportant.
I think the Swan knocked on my door a little later, but I was too numbed by grief to answer. He eventually left me alone.
How many times had Ezra saved me? How many times had he risked the fury and rejection of his own people in order to keep me safe? And what had I ever done for him in return? I'd yelled at him, defied him, cast him in an unwitting starring role in my sexual fantasies. He'd let me use his blocker formula and I'd wasted it on amateurish science experiments and that short-sighted date with Pete. I'd bothered him with prayers while he was trying to work. I'd continued to dig into his business, no matter how many times he'd warned me to stop. But had I ever done anything good for him, besides baking cookies?
He was going to be executed, and there was nothing I could do. I could show up tomorrow and die with him, but like the Swan said, that would be undoing everything that he'd made all these sacrifices for. It wasn't enough to die with him. I ought to be dying for him.
Instead of him.
Out of nowhere, a page of the Elioud textbook shimmered into focus behind my tear-scorched eyelids. It took a moment, but when I remembered what I was looking at, I forgot how to breathe. I lay petrified for a moment, the blood sitting cold and still in my veins.
Then I sat up, flipped on the television, and went to the internet browser. I typed in the term I was thinking of, and started reading. And shaking. And shaking and reading.
Forty-five minutes later, at two thirteen in the morning, I'd come up with a plan. It was fragile at best, with a few dozen opportunities for catastrophic failure. But it was all I had.
I went over to the window seat and found a rope ladder rolled up inside, just as the Swan had said. I set it on the seat cushion, took a deep breath, and started getting dressed.