Miracle - Chapter 29: Chapter 29

It was four days before Ezra would let me leave the bed for anything more than visits to the bathroom. I'd gotten what I wanted on that point, though, because there was no chance in hell that I was going to let him cart my piss and shit out of the room in a bowl. I had to prove that I could be extremely careful about moving around, and he insisted on checking my burns as soon as I got back to the bed. But after a few trips he was satisfied that I wasn't going to give myself sepsis in the handful of minutes it took to relieve myself, and stopped trying to fight me about it.
In these short forays to his bathroom, I learned that I was occupying his only bedroom. His apartment was small, consisting of a galley kitchen and living area, a bathroom, and the single bedroom he was keeping me in. There was a pull-out sofa in the living room, and that was where he'd been sleeping.
"I don't need to take up your bed," I said when I found out. "Let me move to the sofa."
"No. This is your room now."
"But it's your house."
"Yours too."
Okay, God, was I going to disagree with that?
Then, because he seemed to think I needed more convincing, the next time I woke up I found he'd mounted a Star Wars poster across from the foot of the bed. It was exactly like the one on the back of my bedroom door at home, only this one was framed. He'd also found a Naruto wall scroll, and managed to hang it above the headboard without waking me up. I had to wonder if he even knew what Naruto was, or if he was just trying to mimic things from the room I'd grown up in so I'd feel more at home.
The best feature of my old room wasn't something he'd able to recreate so easily, though, and that was the presence of my sister.
I'd been talking to Maddy every afternoon—Ezra had given me a phone just like his, and put his number and Maddy's in the favorites—but she was only allowed to leave campus on weekends, so we hadn't seen one another yet. Ezra said I wasn't healed enough to visit her at school, but he'd promised to pick her up and bring her here on Saturday. I couldn't wait. It had been more than a month since she'd gone off in the Elioud school van, and so much had happened in the time we'd been apart.
First thing Saturday morning I got out of bed and padded into the living room, where Ezra was at his computer desk in black jeans and a snug black Henley that hugged his sculpted torso in all the right places. I just stood there, dry-mouthed as hell, and admired him for a minute.
Nephilim computers were controlled by their angelic powers, so he didn't need a keyboard or mouse. It took some getting used to, watching his eyes flick around the screen as program windows shuffled front and back. Sometimes he'd use a fingertip to hold something still on the screen while he worked.
He turned when he realized I was standing there, and my excitement resurged. "When is Maddy coming? Can you help me get dressed? I want to shower, and clean my room. Can I use your kitchen? Maybe I could make some snacks."
He got to his feet and came over to me. "Slow down, take your medicine." He handed me a cup of pills and waited for me to swallow them. "The campus opens in an hour. You can't shower yet, but we can wash your hair."
"How?"
He filled a pan with water, brought bottles of shampoo and conditioner from the bathroom, and set it all on the kitchen counter. Then he beckoned me over. I thought he was going to have me lean over the pan, but instead he surprised me by reaching out and touching my cheek.
My heart jumped behind my ribs, and I searched his face for a breathless instant. What was this? What was he—
My feet left the floor. He levitated me up until we were nearly eye-to-eye, and I was so mesmerized by the feel of his fingers and the magnetic beauty of his gaze that I could barely think.
"I'm laying you back," he said, at the same time as I felt myself tipping sideways. I gasped and wriggled, and his other hand came up to make contact with my forearm. "Relax, I've got you."
Like when he entered my consciousness, he probably had to be touching me for this power to work. That's all he was doing, it didn't mean what I was hoping for. Damn.
But floating in midair was still freaking awesome.
"This must be what it feels like to live on a space station," I said, as my body drifted closer to the counter and my head was hovering over the pan of water. "This is so cool! There's no pressure holding me up. It's more like I've lost gravity."
He slid the elastic out of my hair. "That's correct. We can disrupt an object's gravitational pull."
"Including your own, right? It's how the Seraph was making both of us float on the way to the Community Hall."
Something flickered in his face at the reminder, but he didn't say anything else. One of his hands remained on my forearm while the other scooped water from the pan over my scalp. His movements were slow and careful.
"What other stuff can Nephilim do?"
He started working shampoo into my hair with his fingertips. It smelled fruity. "We have molecular perception. We see the particles that make up matter."
"Like when you bent the fork for my door."
"Sometimes we can manipulate those molecules, on a small scale. Or speed or slow their vibration."
"That would change their temperature," I concluded. "So, like, you guys can always drink your coffee hot, huh?"
One corner of his mouth twitched. Was he going to smile for me? I still didn't know what that looked like. I wanted to ask him another question, but lost my train of thought and had to close my eyes as he massaged my scalp. Had he taken some kind of cosmetology classes, to make this feel so good? I was this close to making some obscenely happy noises.
"You like this?" he asked.
I opened my eyes and he was even closer to smiling. There was a mildly uncertain curve to his lips. As if he was enjoying my reaction, but wasn't sure he ought to take credit for it. The look transformed his whole face, from the somber, mysterious man who'd vanished into the depths of our shed at my birthday party to someone who was more... accessible.
My pulse started fluttering out of control. At this rate, if I ever got to see him full-on smile my heart was likely to explode.
He held my gaze, his lips parting a little, and his fingers slowed in my hair. He leaned closer to me, just the tiniest bit, and his eyes traveled down to my mouth. My breath hitched in my throat.
Oh God oh God was he really thinking about—
"I should head out soon," he said, blinking, and straightened up.
Ah, damn.
He was just as gentle when it came to rinsing the shampoo out, though he wasn't lingering over the process anymore. He applied conditioner and used a fat-toothed comb to spread it evenly, then rinsed that out too. A towel got wrapped around my head, and then I was tilted upright and lowered to the floor. I was reaching to rub the towel over my hair, and he caught my wrists.
"Don't lift your arms," he said, and proceeded to do it for me. Which gave me yet another opportunity to goggle at him, at least until he lowered the towel in front of my face to dry the top of my head. After a minute he gathered the terry cloth up and set it around my shoulders, running a strand of my damp hair through his fingers. There was such softness in his expression that I felt myself getting hopeful all over again.
It disappeared, though, as he took a step back. "I'm going to the school," he said. "Will you be all right while I'm gone?"
"Let me come with you," I begged.
"Next time." Then he produced a familiar smartwatch from the pocket of his pants, and curled his fingers at me.
I stuck out my arm eagerly. "My watch! I get to have it back?" I'm not sure why the idea made me so happy. Now that I lived with him, it wasn't like it was important for keeping in touch. But as he fastened it in place around my wrist, I was beaming. "I'm glad you didn't throw it away."
"Keep it on while I'm out," he said. "Keep the door locked, and don't move around too much. No cleaning or cooking. You won't be able to feel it if you overdo things, understand?"
I nodded absently, touching the watch face. The red SOS button was gone, so just the digital time lit up, above the health and heartbeat meters. The two innermost rings of the health indicator were pulsing red, and the outer one was yellow. That gave me pause. Even after four days, I was still that bad off? I looked up at him, subdued. "Okay. But can I get dressed?" Not that Maddy would care if I was running around without a shirt, but I didn't want her seeing my bandages. She was going to rail at me enough as it was.
Ezra led me back to the bedroom and opened the closet. It had just as many clothes as the one at the Swan's house. "Pick one," he said, pointing at a row of hanging T-shirts.
"These are all for me?" I stepped up next to him. "When did you have time to do this?" Then I noticed something else. "There sure are a lot of blue ones." I usually wore mostly gray and brown. I wasn't picky, though, a shirt was a shirt. I pulled out one that was a sky-blue color, with a white mountain graphic and the word Colorado boldly stamped across the front. "This works."
He put it over my head, and then carefully threaded each of my arms, one at a time, through the sleeves. I tugged the hem down over my gray sweatpants, and eyed the jeans hanging in the closet behind him.
He pulled a pair down. "These too?"
"I can do it myself," I said, but he flung the jeans over his forearm and knelt in front of me, pulling my sweatpants down. Thank God my underwear stayed where it belonged, or I might have passed out.
Fire flooded my face. I stepped out of the sweatpants quickly, hoping I wasn't going to get hard right in front of his nose. Ezra didn't look up as he held the jeans in place for me, and I put my feet in. I nearly lost my balance and had no choice but to grab his shoulder to catch myself. I wasn't breathing properly.
Shit, shit, he was kneeling in front of me with no suggestive intent whatsoever, but it was still setting off my hormones and I was starting to swell up. He drew the jeans up to my waist and I pushed his hands away. "I can do it!"
I must have appeared pretty upset, because he allowed me to button and zip them. I was sure my face was bright pink. The back of my neck was hot. Had he noticed?
He stood up. "I'm gonna go. Back in twenty minutes."
I nodded without looking up, and didn't move from that spot in the bedroom until I heard the front door close and beep behind him. Then I scrubbed my burning cheeks with my hands. Fuck, this was going to be a problem, if I couldn't stop reading into every little thing he did. I'd spent too much time with the Swan, indulged in way too much wishful thinking.
Even though he'd said not to clean, I couldn't resist tugging the comforter of the bed into place and carrying a couple dishes out to the kitchen. Since he wasn't here to stop me, I peeked into the kitchen cabinets. Ezra really lived the bachelor life... he had a total of four dinner plates, five glasses, two butter knives and three each of mismatched forks and spoons. His pantry held instant rice, dry pasta, and peanut butter, and his fridge wasn't any better off. In the time I'd been here he'd made us mostly sandwiches, canned soup, and noodles, with the occasional yogurt or apple. I had the feeling that was as exotic as his culinary interests got.
As soon as I was allowed to move around more, I was going to find the nearest grocery store and figure out how to feed him properly.
I resisted the urge to wash the dishes, because the yellow ring on my watch had started pulsing just with that tiny bit of activity. The counters were too tall for me to reach without a step stool, anyway. Instead, I wandered around his small living room. He didn't have any artwork on the walls, aside from a diagram of the female reproductive system hanging uncentered over his sofa. That was off putting, for sure. He must not be bringing many dates home. I couldn't imagine most girls would be into cuddling underneath a detailed depiction of their inner anatomy.
His desk was positioned with its futuristic clear glass monitor facing the sofa, the way most people situated their televisions. But he didn't have a television, so I wondered if he used his computer for that.
Or maybe he just didn't watch TV?
Next to the desk was a bookcase filled with paperback scientific journals and a medical encyclopedia. He didn't have a dining table. The kitchen had barstools on the outer side of its long counter, and there was a low coffee table in front of the sofa. But I was willing to bet he did most of his eating at his computer while he worked.
Picture frames on the desk caught my eye, and I moved closer. One was a photo of Ezra wearing a graduation cap and gown. He looked even younger than me in it, barely a teenager, and he was flanked by his two sisters. Florence's hair was still gray, but she wasn't in a wheelchair, and appeared more like a grandmother than a great-grandmother. Ruth was maybe in her twenties? She resembled Ezra even more in this photo. Despite their physical age difference, though, Ezra was already taller.
There was another woman in the picture too, with a complexion several shades darker than Ezra's and Ruth's. She was absolutely beautiful, with large bright eyes and glimmering cheekbones, her hair arranged in shiny loose curls down to her shoulders. She had her arm around Ruth, and was looking into the camera with a half-smile. Was that their mother?
I reached for the picture, wanting to look more closely, but the smaller frame next to it caught my eye and my hand froze in midair.
That was me. My school photo from last year, in fact. I'd had an acne breakout on my chin, and my hair was hanging strangely because I'd pulled it out of its ponytail seconds before the camera went off, so there was a deep kink in it from the ponytail holder. I was giving a crooked grin and half squinting. Also, the remnants of a bruise were still visible around one corner of my mouth, from one of Tyler's lunch period attacks that had come a week or so earlier.
God, why did Ezra have this abomination on his desk? Was he looking at this hideous version of me every day?
I picked that picture up instead, dismay spreading through my limbs. If he'd wanted a photo of me he could have asked, I'd have given him a dozen better than this.
Maybe I should just... make this disappear? Would he be mad?
But I had the right, didn't I? It was my photo.
I fingered the back of the frame, and it suddenly popped open. A soft fluttering sound followed, as a shower of other photographs tumbled out and scattered the surface of his desk.
They were all me. Every single one of my school photos, from kindergarten on up. Me and Maddy on the lap of a mall Santa when we were maybe four years old. One of me in soccer uniform, from that spring when I was seven and Mom decided I needed more athletics in my life. A newspaper clipping about my eighth grade science fair, where I'd won first place. And a newborn photo, on the back of which he'd written my birthday: 6-25-2004.
He'd been collecting these? What for?
He felt like reminding himself of his greatest mistake, on the daily?
Or wanted motivation to stay focused on his work?
I gathered up the pictures and tried to stack them so they'd fit behind that godawful ninth grade photo. Just as I was setting the overstuffed frame back in place, the front door beeped and burst open.
"Connor!"
Maddy launched across the apartment like a runaway train. I grinned and got ready to catch her, but before she got to me I was bobbed high out of her reach, like a helium balloon that had suddenly been given extra string. I was hovering close to the ceiling above Ezra's computer desk. And since the ceilings here were Nephilim-height, Maddy was far too short to be able to grab me.
Ezra came in calmly behind her, and I was surprised to see that his sister Ruth was with him. Ruth raised an eyebrow at the sight of me floating, while Ezra simply closed the apartment door. Maddy squeaked and spun on him.
"What are you doing? Put him down!"
"Connor's injured," Ezra said. "You can't tackle him."
"Well, you can't just go throwin' people into the air whenever you want. How're you even doing that? Don't you have to be touching him for that to work?"
"It's my watch," I told her from overhead, and extended my arm so she could see. "It links to his phone, and works like physical contact."
Far from impressed, Maddy scowled up at me. "That's a terrible idea. Do you have any idea what else he can do with something like that?"
"Yeah, I know." I glanced over at Ezra with a wry grin. "I trust him, though."
"That's one hell of a lot of trust. I'd never let anyone in my head that way."
"Can I get down now?" I asked Ezra. Not that being casually airborne wasn't awesome... I felt a little like I should be wearing a cape and striking some cocky comic book pose. But it was weird trying to have a conversation from this position.
He lowered me slowly, until I was standing on my own. I kept a wary eye on him while I approached my sister. "You can't hug me, but I'll hug you."
She was good and didn't try to put her arms around me in return, though I had to wonder if it was only because Ezra was watching. The relief that came with finally getting to hold her again was enough to make my throat tight. I rocked her side to side and squeezed. "I really missed you."
"Oh my God, bubba, I'm so, so glad you're okay. You know Mom said you'd been kidnapped, and murdered? The church held a double funeral for you and Tyler, and she didn't even tell me about it until after. I didn't get to go to my own brother's funeral."
"I'm sorry, sis." She'd already told me this about a half dozen times, but I knew how much it had traumatized her because I knew what it would've done to me in her shoes. "But hey, on the bright side, maybe someday you'll get another chance?"
"Don't joke about that, you jerk. You're not allowed to die before me, got it?"
Now was probably not a good time to remind her I was destined for execution.
"I swear to God I am never speaking to that bitch again. I was fucking broken and bawling twenty-four seven, and she didn't care that you were dead. She used the town's crowdfunding to buy herself a new car. As far as I'm concerned that heartless twatwaffle can go to hell, and I hope she gets nosefucked by the Devil the whole way down."
Ruth cleared her throat behind us. I don't think she appreciated Maddy's graphic cursing skills. She rolled her eyes and looked at Ezra, as if saying see what I have to deal with?
"Connor, why don't you take Madison to your room," Ezra said.
"Ooh." Maddy elbowed me, her pissiness melting into mischief. "You have your own room? But you're his pet now. He doesn't keep you in a crate somewhere?"
"Shush." I took her hand and pulled her down the hall, figuring Ezra wanted some time to talk with his sister, too.
"Careful," he called after us, and I gave him a thumbs up over my shoulder. He was probably going to be peeking into my head every ten seconds to make sure I wasn't injuring myself. Somehow, I didn't mind. I liked having so much of his attention.
Maddy had more cheeky commentary when she saw the poster and wall scroll. "He gave you his bedroom, and decorated it for you too? Guess that means he has a conscience, at least."
"Maddy." We'd been over this. "I volunteered to proxy. It was my choice, Ezra tried to stop me."
"Which is why I forgave him when he asked. But I'm gonna be mad at you for life about it, just so you know."
"What do you mean, he asked?"
She plopped onto the bed and bounced up and down on her butt a few times. "At school today, he came into the courtyard and bowed down in front of me with everybody watching. Like a samurai in a movie, I'm not even kidding. Like this." She slid off the bed and collapsed at my feet, her forehead on the carpet and her arms wrapped around my ankles. "Great Elioud, I have sinned against your family. Command me to die." Her voice was muffled by the floor and mockingly deep.
I kicked my feet to shake her off. "He didn't say that."
"I'm giving it to you word for word, my bro. Olivia says it's like, a Nephilim honor thing. They're serious about it. One of them hurts an Elioud, she can order him to kill himself. If he's sincere about apologizing he'll do it."
"Shit, you didn't—!"
"'Course not. Ezra's the only thing standing between you and a cozy li'l cage in some Elioud Biogenesis lab." She stood back up, slapping wrinkles out of her pleated skirt. "I'm not stupid."
I let out a breath.
"But I told him if he lets you get hurt again, I'm gonna kill him myself."
"Maddy!"
"I'm serious about that, too. Lemme see your back."
"No."
"Show me."
"No way, that's weird."
"What's weird about it? I'm your sister."
"I don't want to."
"You just don't want me changing my mind, and telling Ezra to jump off a cliff."
I crossed my arms, maybe a little too aggressively, because my watch thumped a warning. I loosened my stance to keep from straining the burns so much.
Maddy noticed and winced. "How bad was it, the flogging? They burned you over and over, it had to have been horrible."
I shifted weight to the other leg. "It wasn't that bad."
"Liar, your face just went white thinking about it. I can't believe you volunteered for that."
"Well, I couldn't let them do it to Ezra, could I? The only reason he was even in trouble was because he saved me from Tyler."
"Speaking of which... what the hell happened in that restroom? There was blood everywhere, all that broken glass... When Mom said Tyler'd been found dead in there, I knew he'd done something awful. And if Ezra killed him for it, it had to have been a really big deal." She grabbed my hand, and now there was nothing but worry in her tone. "Bubba... did he rape you?"
"Ezra says he didn't."
"Ezra says? You don't remember?"
I shook my head. "Everything's kind of a blur. I was pretty out of it for a few days afterward."
"Jesus," she breathed. "Fuck. I knew I shouldn't have left you there alone."
"It's okay. Things turned out pretty great in the end."
She scoffed.
"No, really. I don't have to worry about Mom's bad moods anymore, or Tyler's. I'm miles away from all that, and you're here, and we're together now."
"'We' meaning you and me? Or you and Ezra?" Maddy batted her lashes.
"Stop it." But I could feel myself blushing.
She pointed at me gleefully. "Uh-huh, I knew it wouldn't take him long to seduce you. You've had the hots for him forever."
"It's not like that. He's not into me that way."
"He's Nephilim. Turns out they're super into us, they just don't go crazy with it like human guys do. Bet he didn't tell you that, huh?"
"I think he sees me more like a little brother, or even a son. Maybe it's because I'm a boy. "
"From what I hear, male Eljo are pretty damn irresistible to most Nephilim, whether they're straight or not."
"Maddy, cut it out. Seriously, that's not Ezra."
Even if I sort of wished it could be.
"Whatever you say," she responded, wandering the room to look into the closet and peek in the dresser drawers. "By the way, where'd you get that shirt? I've never seen you wear that color before."
"Ezra gave it to me," I said. "There's a bunch of blue ones, I think it must be what he likes."
"Or..." she said, turning toward me from the closet with a superior little grin.
"Or what?"
"You'd probably never notice 'cause you're a guy. Connor, you and I look great in blue, because it matches our eyes."
"Huh?"
"God, why isn't there a mirror in here? Just take a look next time you're in the bathroom. You'll see."
"That's silly, Ezra wouldn't care about something like that."
Ezras's deep voice sounded from the living room. "Connor? Can you and Madison come out here, please?"
"Come on." I led Maddy out of the bedroom.
Ezra and Ruth were sitting on the barstools at the kitchen counter, looking much more like a mother and son than siblings. Ezra got up as we entered. He gestured that I should sit, pulling the stool out far enough that I wouldn't bump into anything while I was on it.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Connor, I've been called back into work as of Monday." He didn't look happy about it.
"That's fine," I assured him. "Do they want me to come in with you?"
"Yes, but they're not getting you yet. You're still healing."
Well, as long as I could get to the kitchen I could take care of myself. "You do what you need to, then. I'll be okay."
Ezra and Ruth exchanged glances over my head. "The thing is, young man," Ruth said from my other side, "You might not be. Tempers are running hot after the judgment rites. Many are dissatisfied with the way things turned out. So long as Ez is here with you, people are likely to leave you two alone. But his Eljo proxy, left unattended, may prove too much temptation for some."
"But he's licensed," Maddy broke in. "Ezra gets to kill anyone who messes with Connor without his permission, doesn't he?"
My eyes flew wide. Is that true?
Ezra inclined his head. "But by then it could be too late."
Maddy turned to Ruth. "Then can't Connor come stay in my dorm, Directress? No one's there during the day, and Nephilim can't get onto school grounds without—"
"Absolutely not," Ruth replied. "We can't have a boy in the dormitories."
Maddy's fighting face started to take shape, her nostrils flaring and lips pursing tightly. But before she could say anything else, Ruth held up a hand. "However, I have agreed to let him audit your classes for a while. At least until the passions of the public have cooled."
"Seriously?" I gasped, looking between her and Ezra with delight.
Maybe that wasn't the response she'd been expecting, because one brow tilted up. "I'm glad you're enthusiastic."
"You kidding? This is awesome!" Way better than sitting around the apartment all day. I could spend time with Maddy and learn about the Nephilim world at the same time. There'd be lectures, and books, and I could help Maddy study like I always had. It would be almost exactly like old times.
Except without Tyler and his football crew making my life miserable every time the bell rang.
"Monday," I said eagerly. "Can I start Monday?"
"Yes, though we'll need to make a few arrangements ahead of time."
I hopped off the stool and threw arms around my sister. "Maddy, I get to go to your school!"
"There has never been a boy at Brides of Heaven. You will need to refrain from being a distraction to the students," Ruth said behind me. "Your sister included. I expect you to sit through every class quietly, and—"
"Can I do the homework?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"The assignments and stuff. I know I'm only auditing, but can I do them too?"
"I will leave that up to the instructors."
Good enough for me. "Maddy, do you have a science class? And math?"
"Ugh, yes. But more importantly, you can finally meet my friends! Olivia and Jordan are my Diamond and Ruby, they're both so cool. And so are my dorm mates."
I turned toward Ezra, grinning uncontrollably. "This is amazing. I'm so happy!"
And although he didn't smile back, his dark eyes were glowing like he was tempted to.