Miracle - Chapter 37: Chapter 37

The second stress test was a success, and it only took about forty-five minutes. I moved between the hot and cold tubs mechanically and without complaint, letting the punishing temperatures take control of my system. Even when I started getting tunnel vision and tremors, even though my skin felt like it was on fire, it was still less miserable than the stuff going on in my head. I moved when I was told, sat when I was told, while my mind did this cathartic thing where it tuned out my emotions.
The Swan stood off to the side by the door, watching with a frown. When Dr. Sarias handed me the plastic sample cup, I went into the tiny bathroom. I was already in a numb sort of headspace, where physical sensations had taken over. I was shivering and my muscles were cramping, and it took a few minutes for my body to understand what I was asking of it. But as I'd hoped, the Swan's proximity helped. I was able to fill the cup enough that Dr. Sarias was satisfied.
Ezra hadn't shown up. I hadn't seen him in the halls on the way here, either. He had to know I was here. Was he hiding from me? This awful feeling in my gut was becoming far too familiar.
"There's one more set of readings I need," Dr. Sarias said, and he led me out into the hall. I was still in my soaking boxers and bare feet, so the air conditioning turned every inch of me into goosebumps.
The Swan jogged up behind me and put his suit jacket around my shoulders. "You're going to let your patient catch pneumonia, Doctor?"
"Eh?" Dr. Sarias glanced back.
"His lips are blue," the Swan pointed out.
"We're not going far."
Dr. Sarias kept going, while the Swan muttered something in a foreign language that didn't sound complimentary. Exhausted though I was, I could feel his pheromones intensifying. He was pissed.
"This is the man Ezrael places you with? Is he mad? You're a person, not a... a laboratory gerbil."
He meant guinea pig. "I'm guessing the other docs would be worse," I replied wearily.
At least Dr. Sarias didn't have anything but scientific interest in me. Most of the other Nephilim were obviously checking us out as we passed by, and not in an academic way. It wasn't entirely their fault. I was stressed and the Swan was indignant. My blocker formula had washed off in the lab tubs, and he hadn't put any on so he could help me complete the test. We were doing a damn good job of escalating each other at the moment. I could feel my pulse getting deeper and faster, my body tightening up with the urge to reach for him. He seemed to realize it at the same time I did, and dropped back to walk behind us at a safer distance.
Dr. Sarias took us to the room with all the glass tubes. It was clear the Swan didn't like the look of them at all. I got into the one Dr. Sarias indicated, and stood there uncomfortably for probably ten minutes while he tapped buttons and made notes on his tablet. The Swan took a phone call, and seemed to be arguing with whoever was on the other end of the line. He hung up in a huff, just as Dr. Sarias pushed a button that filled my tube with pink formula mist.
I blinked and coughed a little, because it burned my eyes.
The Swan marched over to Dr. Sarias. "Are you done?" Without waiting for an answer, he looked up at me. "Come on out of there, Connor, we're leaving."
"Wait, wait," Dr. Sarias said, tapping a few more spots on the control panel.
The Swan ignored him, opened the tube and took my arm. I got out, not that I had much choice with the way he was pulling.
"I have more scans to run," Dr. Sarias protested.
"Not today. I'm taking him home."
"Swan, he's an asset of the Institute. It's not your decision."
"I spoke with his sponsor. You have a problem, take it up with Ezrael Mekas."
So it was Ezra on the phone?
Dr. Sarias opened his mouth like he was going to argue, then tilted his head like he was hearing an inaudible voice through the ceiling. He scowled. "Fine. Connor, Ez says to put your watch back on."
Screw that. Ezra was talking to the Swan and his doctor friend, but not to me? What, we were playing a game of telephone now? Real mature.
"If he wants to know how I'm doing he can fucking come see for himself," I snapped, earning an emphatic nod from the Swan.
"Exactly so. Never mind these Nephilim and their lousy manners. Let's go."
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The Swan didn't take me back to Ezra's apartment, we drove to his house instead. When I asked why, all I got was a sigh. I assumed Ezra had asked him to keep me overnight—maybe even forever—and again I felt angry. Ezra knew the effect the Swan and I had on each other. He didn't care?
Was I that repulsive to him? Was this his way of punishing me, for forgetting the blocker last night?
Or was he really done with me this time?
I couldn't take it. Locked back in the Swan's guest room, I felt as claustrophobic and helpless as I had during Ezra's trial. I turned down the Swan's offer of dinner. There was no way I could eat with my stomach churning this much. I hadn't even felt this nauseous while getting alternately simmered and iced in Dr. Sarias' lab.
I just... I wanted not to feel anything anymore. Everything inside was too heavy and sharp, a bag of iron nails in my gut. I was so, so tired. I climbed up into the Nephilim-sized bed and curled into a ball.
I slept a little, until stabbing pains in my belly woke me and I twisted in agony on the mattress. I should have taken the Swan up on dinner, because now I had some of the worst gas pain I'd ever felt. I managed to stumble, moaning, into the bathroom, and sat there on the toilet for what felt like an hour. Everything that came out was liquid. Finally the worst of the spasms passed, though they left me feeling queasy. I crawled back to bed and went back to sleep.
It wasn't nice sleep, though. It was filled with vague nightmares of screeching, winged snakes with poisonous yellow eyes, chasing me through endlessly flashing thunderclouds. Every time they caught me, they sank their fangs into my stomach and it burned like fire. I couldn't seem to run fast enough... and I guess Ezra wasn't inclined to visit me even in my dreams, because he never showed up to stop them.
I woke in a sweat to find the Swan had slid a note under the door, a crisp cologne-scented card in an envelope.
I have an appointment in town for the day. Feel free to make yourself at home.
It was signed with a flourishing "S," doodled into a swan shape.
That meant Ezra wasn't coming to get me, was he? I checked my phone, but there were no messages, no missed calls. He was going to keep ignoring me today too.
Maybe that was just as well, because I was sick. My guts were cramping horribly, and I found myself parked on the toilet for the better part of the day. I was pretty sure I was running a fever, my head felt hot and my eyelids burned every time I closed them. The Swan might have been right, all that rough treatment yesterday had caused me to come down with something. I forced myself to drink water, knowing the diarrhea would make me dehydrated. But I didn't bother going down to the kitchen. My stomach was empty enough to ache, but the thought of eating was unbearable.
Perversely, I was glad I was alone. I didn't want anyone seeing me like this, or experiencing the stench I was making in the bathroom. I was glad the Swan wasn't here, because being gross, sick, and desperately horny at the same time would be a special kind of hell. And I was glad Ezra wasn't around either. He'd already seen me in enough humiliating situations, at least this one I could keep to myself. He couldn't even spy on me through the watch right now, and that was a relief.
Except...  there were moments when I was doubled up in bed, panting after a round of nausea-inducing cramps, when I missed him so much I felt like crying.
I tried to sleep between bathroom visits. I tried turning on the television, but it was nothing but infomercials, Sunday afternoon sports, and daytime talk shows, all of which were no comfort. I was too sick to my stomach to read.
But later in the afternoon, my phone pinged. It was a message from the Swan, saying he was headed back. I knew why he'd sent it, and lumbered into the bathroom to spray myself with the bottle of blocker he'd handed me yesterday. Then I crawled back into bed.
A while later, I heard a knock at the door. "Connor?"
I sat up slowly, trying not to aggravate the seasick feeling in my gut, but before I'd answered the Swan said, "Ezrael is here to see you."
What? Oh no. No, no, I couldn't navigate our ridiculously complicated issues while trying not to barf on Ezra's feet. Or worse, shitting myself in the middle of the conversation. He'd probably insist on taking me home, where I'd monopolize his bathroom and stink up the entire tiny apartment.
I took a sip from the cup on the nightstand to clear my throat, hoping I wouldn't sound as weak as I felt. "Tell him to go away."
There was a pause. "Are you sure?"
"I don't want to talk to him!"
"Well, you heard him," the Swan said on the other side of the door.
"Connor." Ezra's voice was soft and deep, and it made my chest hurt. After a minute I heard him sigh. "You're sure he's all right here, Swan?"
"Of course. We have that wondrous potion of yours to keep us in line."
"Here's his backpack. It has his school clothes for tomorrow."
I snorted under my breath. If he'd brought my stuff, he hadn't planned on taking me back with him. What was he even here for, then? Probably to tell me that this was where I'd be living from now on. I definitely didn't want that conversation.
"I can drop him off at Brides of Heaven in the morning. But if I'm to be his chauffeur as well as his landlord, it'll cost you."
"I'll provide as much pheromone blocker as you want."
"I want more than that. I want to know what you barbarians are doing to him in that laboratory. Just what was all that this morning supposed to accomplish?"
"Was it... bad?"
"Shame on you, he's your Eljo! Don't stand there pretending to worry, when you blindly handed him over to that Frankenstein of a doctor."
"I don't have a choice. I'm only able to stop them if his life is at risk."
"But I suppose no one cares that he's suffering."
Silence.
"Are you going to tell me what the Institute is up to?" the Swan demanded.
"Research."
"What for?"
"I can't talk about it. Ask my father."
"You bet I will."
More uncomfortable silence, broken when the Swan said, "Well, unless you intend to exercise your rights as the boy's sponsor and drag him out of here, I'd say it's time for you to leave."
I closed my eyes as another wave of cramps struck, and bent over my arms trying to hold them back. Oh shit, please don't give him any ideas. I held my breath, both to keep from crying out and so I could listen for Ezra's answer.
"All right. Keep him safe, Swan."
Thank God. I waited until I heard them heading down the stairs before diving for the bathroom.
About ten minutes later, the Swan knocked on the door again. I had just flushed the toilet, and braced myself feverishly against the bathroom doorframe as I responded.
"Is he gone?"
"He is, sweetness. I'm impressed with your moxie, sending him away."
I put my clammy forehead against the cool, painted wood of the jamb.
"Though I must say, I'm envious. Neither of my sponsors would have let me get away with that. Ezrael backed down meek as a kitten. I'm dying to know your secret."
He was teasing, but I didn't have the strength to respond.
"Have you already eaten? I'd be happy to make us something if you like."
Ugh, no. I just needed a good night's rest. Once I could sleep this bug off, I'd be fine. "I ate," I called out. "But if you don't mind, I'm really tired. I just want to go to bed."
"Of course, honey, I understand. See you in the morning."
🧬🧬🧬
When I woke up, it was a relief to find the crippling cramps were mostly gone. I still had underlying queasiness, probably because I was hungry, but it was infinitely more manageable than the misery of yesterday. It felt like the fever had eased up too. I was able to think more clearly.
I got ready for school. Showered, teeth brushed, hair brushed, formula applied. My face in the mirror was pale, but before I pushed the button to unlock my room I practiced smiling normally so that I wouldn't alarm the Swan. It would be fine. I'd have something bland for breakfast, get to school, and once I could see Maddy things would be better.
No matter what, I was not going to think about Ezra.
My door lock beeped, indicating the Swan had approved my request to come out. My backpack was waiting outside the room.
As soon as I unzipped it, my smart watch was the first thing to greet me, lying on top of everything else. I grit my teeth. "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"
No way was I giving Ezra the satisfaction of keeping a digital leash on me all day. Plus, I didn't know if he'd be able to tell that I'd been sick. I wasn't putting that watch back on until I was sure he wouldn't find out.
Besides, I wasn't thinking about him today.
Pushing the watch to the bottom of the bag, I got my school track suit on. I made sure my tablet was powered up, stuck my phone in the backpack, and went down to meet the Swan in the kitchen.
All I wanted was dry toast, but he insisted on scrambling some eggs too. They tasted really good, and I surprised myself by eating it all.
After breakfast, we got into the Swan's Thunderbird and roared into town. I had started to feel carsick by the time we pulled up in front of the school gates, and was regretting that big breakfast. But I managed to get out of the convertible with my backpack on my shoulder and a bright smile as I waved the Swan off.
I didn't have the strength for a morning workout, so I sent Grace a text. We had first period Elioud Studies together, and if I stood her up without a word I'd be in for it once class started. Then I made my way slowly up the path to the main building. Maybe I'd overestimated my recovery. Since when was a simple uphill walk so exhausting? My heart was working so hard I was getting lightheaded.
I was the first one in the classroom, which was fine because the nausea had gotten worse. I really shouldn't have eaten so much. I slid into my usual seat, as close to the wall and out of the way as I could get, and laid my head down on my arms.
A few minutes later someone slapped my shoulder.
"Hey, Eljo boy, you're blowing me off so you can take a nap? Get up, motherfucker."
I raised my head to find Grace standing over me. Her black-lined eyes widened.
"Sweet Samyaza's titties, you look like hell." She took a step back, like I had the plague. "What the fuck's wrong with you?"
"Indigestion," I grunted, putting my head back down.
"Indigestion my ass, you're sick."
"Who's sick?"
Maddy's voice came from the back of the classroom, and Grace tossed her head. "Your brother over here is on death's doorstep. He shouldn't be at school, he's gonna infect us all."
I panted through a surge of nausea. Ominous, twinkling little cramps were starting up deep in my gut. I just wanted a normal day. To be able to sit next to my sister in her classes, and feel like there was something the tiniest bit mundane about my life. Was that too much to ask?
Maddy pulled back the chair next to me so hard it screeched, sat down and put her hand on my forehead. "Jesus, Connor, you're burning up. You should be at home."
"I don't have a home," I said bitterly, turning my face out of reach.
"What's that supposed to mean? Call Ezra, he'll—"
"He's kicking me out," I said. "I live with the Swan now."
"What?! When did that—"
"Whoa, the Swan?" Grace broke in. "The Eljo hooker?"
That was enough to make me sit up despite my discomfort. "Don't call him that!"
"Why not, it's what he does, isn't it? Not a bad way to make a living. Are you gonna start sexing up the Nephilim for cash too?"
If I hadn't been feeling so shitty, I would have stood and tried out one of those new punches she'd been teaching me. But Grace's question cut so deep I could barely breathe, remembering the Swan saying There's only one thing we're good for.
"Grace, shut the hell up. Connor, what happened? You and Ezra had a fight?"
"I don't want to talk about it, Maddy." I wilted into my seat, fighting back tears. "I just... I want to be with you today, okay? That's all I want."
Her blue eyes searched my face, then hardened with conviction. Her fingers laced with mine. "Okay, bubba. I'm here. We'll get you through this."
But that was easier said than done. During Ms. Alorel's lecture, the cramps came back with a vengeance. Worse than yesterday. Like a half a dozen knives being stuck in me at different angles. I bit the inside of my bottom lip so hard it tasted like metal. Dug my fingers into my knees and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to breathe without whimpering. I writhed in the seat, hoping maybe a different angle of my pelvis might bring some relief. My forehead and chest were sweating as much as they did in workouts.
"Connor," Maddy whispered several times. "Connor, are you okay? We should go to the nurse."
I didn't want to go to the nurse. She'd call Ezra and demand that he take me away. Maybe they'd kick me out of school for good, and then I'd have lost Maddy too. I shook my head and squeezed her hand.
With my sister next to me, I made it to the end of the class period. Well, almost.
Ms. Alorel was clicking off her tablet screen that was projected onto the wall, when a particularly bad wave of nausea rolled up my throat. Saliva burst in my mouth in warning, and I shot to my feet, knocking my chair back. I fumbled around Maddy's seat, and the three other girls sitting in our row, made it to the aisle, and down to the front of the classroom where a waste bin sat next to the teacher's podium.
I dropped to my hands and knees and barfed. Violently, like my internal organs were trying to escape. Shrieks and groans started going up across the classroom, but I was preoccupied with clinging to the sides of the waste bin, trying to figure out how to sneak in some oxygen between surges of vomit. My ears were ringing, I was seeing stars, and from somewhere behind me I heard a girl shouting.
"Oh my god! Ms. Alorel, he's bleeding!"
I pulled my head out of the wastebin to examine the foulness I'd deposited in there. It was disgusting, but not bloody.
Maddy had appeared next to me, pulling my ponytail back frantically. "Connor! Fuck, Connor, what did he do to you? Oh God, okay, come on. Can you walk? We've got to get you to the nurse's office. Grace, get your ass over here and help!  Tori, you too!"
"Are you crazy? I'm not catching whatever freaky disease that is."
"Zip it, princess, what he's got you can't catch." Grace took my arm and hauled me upward, supporting so much of my weight that for a second I wondered if she was levitating me. Her tone with me, though, softened more than I'd thought she was capable of. "Come on, Eljo boy. We've got you."
"Back, jewels. Make way, make way," Ms. Alorel said, shooing the gaping girls to the sides of the classroom.
I might have passed out once or twice while Maddy and Grace dragged me up the stairs to the infirmary. My neck muscles weren't strong enough to hold my head up. My chest and throat burned with bile. And those knives in my gut were all stabbing downward. Down, down, an unbearable agony in my groin. As I tried to stumble along between my escorts, there was another bizarre, unpleasant sensation. My inner thighs felt wet. Actually, my buttcrack felt slippery. Something was dripping along the back of my leg.
I was so dizzy. And I was starting to get scared. This wasn't the flu, or an upset stomach. This was... something else. "Maddy?"
"Hang on, bubba, we're going to get you help."
The promise was underscored by a bang as Grace kicked the infirmary door in. The school nurse sprang up from her desk, disapproval transforming into horror as Maddy and Grace pushed past the drapes into the exam room, and lifted me up onto the table on my stomach.
I was too weak to roll over. All I could do was grunt in protest.
"Merciless Michael, girls, this is no place for you. Thank you for bringing him in, but you'll have to wait outside."
"He's my brother, I'm not leaving," Maddy spat. "Wait, what are you doing?"
"Calling his sponsor. This isn't an appropriate matter for the school to handle."
"Are you fucking insane? That asshole did this to him!"
"The boy is Ezrael Mekas' property. Out, girls. Now."
"If he shows up I'm going to kill him!" Maddy screamed. It sounded like she was being forced toward the door. "Listen to me, Connor, he's not gonna get away with this!"
I didn't have a clue what she was talking about... but before I got the chance to ask, I blacked out.