Motley Crewed Shifters - Chapter 17: Chapter 17

All morning I’d been thinking of our date last night, and I was, well, I was confused.
The back door to the kitchen slammed open, and I jumped where I stood, placing a tray of my pumpkin filled croissants on the rack to cool.
“Well? How did it go?” Avery asked, almost running into me.
“Geez, Avery. You scared the shit out of me!”
It was six in the morning on a Sunday and there was no reason at all for my best friend to be awake yet.
As a school nurse, she worked weekdays only and my beautiful little niece didn’t have a recital today, or did she?
I turned with a questioning look on my face.
“Rosalie had a sleepover with Lisa Ramos last night,” she said, and I nodded.
“Where’s Lenny?” she asked about the older man I’d hired to fill in for me on Sundays.
He was a retired accountant, but he’d worked at a bakery as a kid. He was a lifesaver really, and I enjoyed the day off. Usually.
“Oh, well, I was out of sorts this morning, so I texted he could sleep in and come in a little later.”
“What happened?” she asked, staring at me with that mom look she’d perfected.
“Nothing,” I hedged, biting my lip and squirming like I was a kid she’d caught doing something bad.
“The date, Penelope. What happened on the date?” Avery asked.
She was practically vibrating off the ground with all her excitement.
“It was, uh, it was nice,” I said, hedging.
I mean, what else could I say? I didn’t have a bad time. It just, well, it did not end like I thought it would.
Like with my legs in the air and a certain smexy cowboy bottoming out inside my has-been-neglected-for-too-long pussy.
“Nice?” Avery spat the word like it was an insult, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Yeah. Nice. He was a gentleman.”
I shrugged, but the careless gesture couldn’t hide my disappointment.
“Nice?” Avery repeated.
I nodded, moving on to the tray of caramel apple dumplings I still needed to finish. I lifted the butter brush and added a dusting of large sugar crystals on top, paying close attention to detail as I worked.
“What do you mean nice? I looked the guy up. He’s this rich playboy, party animal type. Didn’t he ravage you? Where’s the beard burn? Why are you even here?”
“What are you talking about, Av?” I did not have the energy to do this.
“I am talking about the fact you can still walk with no obvious signs you had a decent sized dick in you last night, that’s what I am talking about!”
“Geezus, Avery!” I screeched, wave after wave of embarrassment rolling over me.
“Tell me honestly, Penny. Did you guys even fuck?”
I sucked in a breath, met my best friend’s stare, and I shook my head. Tears pricked my eyes, and I shrugged my shoulders, finishing the tray of apple dumplings and putting them in the oven.
In five minutes, the whole place was going to smell amazing. But what did I care?
Max had been kind and attentive. Sweet even. And the way he’d handled Burt? Totally hot.
“I must have done what I always do, Av. Somehow, I friend-zoned myself.”
“What? Nooooooooo!” Avery wailed. “He was supposed to cure the dick drought around here,” my best friend groaned and banged her fist on the stainless steel table.
“Dick drought?”
“Yes! I don’t know if you knew this, Penelope, but Barren County has been having the worst case of dick drought ever. There hasn’t been a fuckable guy who isn’t taken here in forever. And you know rule number twenty-seven of Girl Club? We share our Big D stories when one of us is between guys!”
“Oh my God. You have lost your mind, Avery.”
I mean, she wasn’t really wrong. But what was I supposed to say? I’d been married up until fairly recently, even if our marriage was over long before we signed the papers. Still, I never dishonored my vows.
But I had no time for self-reflection, Avery was still going strong.
“I thought Max was going to be the first in a well of new, single men in the area. Dammit. I didn’t even bring anything to read, thinking you’d regale me with all your naughty shenanigans from last night. I am so disappointed,” she said.
That did it. I started crying. But where some people looked beautiful when they were emotional, my tears were like the total opposite of pretty crying.
They were just loud, scary, hiccuping sobs.
And yeah, it was ugly.
“Oh my God, Penelope. Don’t cry! I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset,” she said, running around to where I stood so she could hug me.
“Hush now, Pretty Penny,” she tried, but it was too late.
My nose had already started running, and I didn’t even get to the snorting part.
God, I hated crying.
“Things were going so well. H-he even knocked B-Burt on his ass. I ran into him and K-Kelly at the snack stand. But after a couple of light kisses, he stopped. We literally just sat in the back of his truck, which he took time to decorate, and we watched the movies⁠—”
“Both movies?” she asked, eyes wide.
I nodded, blowing my nose in my apron.
Shit. I needed to change that.
I took it off and walked to the other side of the kitchen, throwing the soiled apron in the dirty linens bin.
Last night I’d been disappointed but happy. Hopeful even. Maybe that date would lead to others.
But now, well, now I felt like shit.
“Maybe there is something wrong with me,” I muttered and stepped away from Avery with my arms wide, fully aware I was being dramatic.
“No, Penny, there is nothing wrong with you.”
“Really? Cause Burt thought there was. I mean, he sat through two long ass Alfred Hitchcock movies, and he didn’t try anything,” I told her, and now, I was hiccuping again.
“Maybe he’s just a super Hitchcock fan,” she said lamely.
“What’s wrong with me, Avery? I mean, I never wanted to believe the negative things Burt said about my lack of sex appeal, but maybe he was right. Maybe I let myself go. I mean, I’m chubby, and short, and I am not getting younger,” I said and sniffled.
“What? No! God no! Burt is a turd, Penny. Now, move over, I am going to give that jerk a piece of my mind!” she snapped and pushed by me to grab my cell phone off the charging stand on the far counter.
“What are you doing?”
“I am calling your date to give him a piece of my mind,” she said.
“What? You can’t yell at Max for being a perfect gentleman,” I sputtered, but it was too late.
She’d dialed, and I was across the kitchen. By the time I got there, Avery was on a roll.
“You miserable louse!” she screeched.
I was so stunned. I didn’t know what to do. And I couldn't hear the other side of the conversation, which was pretty dang annoying.
“Avery? What are you—oh my God!”
“How dare you take my best friend out and then leave her at the door! You think you’re too good for her or something?”
Pause.
“I am standing right here with her, and she isn’t even having a hard time walking. Just what kind of man are you? You know I just updated her dating app profile, and she’s had six men ask her out in the last ten minutes.”
Pause.
“What dating app?” I whispered, because as far as I knew I had zero profiles on any dating apps whatsoever.
“I signed you and me both up for that new DateMe app for singles over thirty a few weeks ago,” she whispered back, then went back to telling Max off.
“I told you not to do that,” I whispered back, but she rolled her eyes.
Pause.
“Oh yeah? Prove it. Or maybe BobR345 can!” Avery shouted before she clicked end.
I just stood there, horrified, with both my hands clapped over my mouth.
“What did you just do?” I asked, bewildered.
“Well, I think I just got you some dick. You’re welcome.”