My ex-husband's nightmare - Chapter 38: Chapter 38

Mason
The sheet smelled the same, and the mattress felt familiar. But something felt off. The room was dark.
I closed my eyes. Why was I holding on to someone?
That wasn't the only thing that felt off. I was naked. The realization of this made me push myself up at once.
I looked under the duvet.
My eyes widened.
What happened? My head and body felt weak. I couldn't recall anything from the previous night.
I don't sleep naked.
I looked to the side and saw her. Julia.
She was naked, too, her white body under the blue duvet.
I groaned and shook my head, repeating the words, no, no on my head.
This can’t be happening. There's no way we had sex. I sat straight, watching as her chest rose and fell.
I placed my hand on my head as pain shot through. I felt my head splitting in two.
Memories of the night rushed in. She gave me the juice, and after a while, we began making out intensely.
I can't remember walking to the room. But it was obvious we had sex here, too.
“Shit!”
We've been dating for almost 5 years. Of course, we've had sex, but it was never unprotected.
Julia wasn't on birth control, and I knew that. I don't think I pulled out. I passed my hand over my hair.
What if she gets pregnant? That was my worry.
I stepped down from the bed and walked into the bathroom by my side.
“There's no way that's going to happen. There should be some pills for after-sex protection.” I reasoned.
Water splashed on my skin, trickling down.
Maybe I should have allowed her to leave when she wanted to. I shouldn't have stopped her. Now what?
After bathing, I walked back to the room. The closet was by the side.
She was still asleep. The table clock read 5:30 a.m.; it was still morning.
I felt anger course through me as I put on my shirt.
She could have prevented this. She isn't a child; if I couldn't control myself, then she should have stopped me.
I quickly pushed that thought out of my head. I had none to blame but myself.
I know how she feels about me, so it doesn't make sense to expect anything from her.
I wore my suit. I don't know why I was getting all dressed up for work when it was still morning, but I knew I needed to be out of the penthouse.
If I stay, I'll probably be reminded of last night and feel my skin crawl just as it was doing now.
Stepping into the room, I walked to the side and tapped on her legs, “Julia, wake up,” I said.
She turned, rolling on the bed.
“Julia, it's morning. I need to leave.” my voice was sharp, and this time, it proved effective as she slowly stood up, rubbing her eyes with her hand.
“Hey!” Her words slurred.
“Good morning.” She greeted me. She looked around. “It's still dark.” “I need to go, dress up,” I said.
“You may need to shower; I'll be waiting downstairs,” I said and stepped out of the room.
I ran my hand through my hair as I walked down the hallway.
At the end of the hallway, there was a room. I stood in front of it, staring at the door, which had not been opened for the past five years.
Resuming my walk, I got to the sitting room.
Julia was down in ten minutes.
“We should have breakfast; I can make something for us to eat.” She said.
I gritted my teeth, biting back the words that threatened to spill from my lips.
“No need,” I said flatly and stood. She was quiet as she walked behind me. I kept sighing.
We got to the underground parking lot in no time. I sat behind the steering wheel.
“This feels so natural—a glimpse of how our life would be soon. Imagine waking up together every morning. I can only imagine that,” She spoke with excitement.
I ignited the car and started driving.
“We should do this often. What do you think”? I scoffed. Was she seriously asking that?
“I don't know,” I said plainly. She seemed to have noticed my lack of interest in the conversation, so she stopped talking.
We stopped in front of a red light. “Are you mad at me?” She asked. I pressed my lips together.
“No,” I said in a low voice.
She reached for my hand on my lap, and I quickly removed it and placed it on the steering wheel.
“You are mad,” I looked out of the window. Why can't she just get the message? I don't want to talk about this right now; it shouldn't be so hard to understand.
“I'm sorry if I did anything wrong.”
“You should have stopped us.” I blurted out, the car behind me honked, and I started driving. I hadn't noticed that the red light was now green.
“Huh.” From the corner of my eyes, I could see that her eyes were fixed on me.
“What do you mean?’
“I mean, you could have stopped us from having unprotected sex.”
“That shouldn't matter. We've been together for years.”
I was surprised at her words. People don't use protection mainly because they just meet.
“You don't get it. You're not on birth control, and I lost control yesterday. I can't even remember what happened and how it happened or anything.”
I don't think it's necessary to hold anything in. If we are going to be together, then she needs to know what puts me off.
“I woke up this morning naked, and you were beside me; how do you think that makes me feel?” I turned sharply, changing lanes
“I don't get it, are you angry that we didn't use protection or the fact that we had sex? Make it clear.”
Both.
I was angry that we had sex. I only have sex with her to make her happy. It's not really something I enjoy.
I can't really pinpoint why this particular one made me so mad, but it just doesn't feel right.
“And how's it my fault that you don't remember?” Her voice broke at the end.
She was doing it again. Crying.
“I didn't say you are at fault.” I pulled over by the side of the road. I felt like punching something.
“Then what do you mean?”
I didn't say anything for a while. I looked ahead of me. She whimpered as she cried, trying to hush her sobs.
The day has slowly shifted. From darkness to light. Headlights had been turned off as the morning sun smiled on the earth.
I inhaled sharply, trying to calm myself. Slowly, I reached over to her.
“I'm sorry I yelled at you.” I apologize.
“It's just,” I couldn't find the right words. “I'm sorry if my words hurt you. I'm scared of the result that unprotected sex brings.” Plus, I don't really think I want children right now, from you. I wanted to add that part.
I gave her a handkerchief to wipe her face.
“I think there are after-pills that can be taken, right?” I asked, and she nodded.
“I can take you to the closest hospital.” I said, “A pharmacy would do.”
I nodded.
I tried to make small talk. She easily warmed back to me. “You don't have to wait; I'll find my way myself. I don't want you to be late," she said when I dropped her off.
I didn't question her words.
I made a mental note to remind her not to go to the penthouse anymore.
My phone beeped as I drove into the highway—a message from Daniel.
“Sir, I'm in the hospital; I won't be able to come to work.”
I placed a call to him, “What's wrong with you?’
“Well, I …”
“Send me the name of the hospital; I'm coming over,” I said before he could speak and ended the call.
I was greeted by the smell of antiseptic when I stepped into the hospital. I scrunch my nose.
A memory of Lydia and I in the hospital came to mind.
She would always say I overreacted.
Hospitals don't smell bad, they just smell like hospitals. She would always say.
Maybe she meant the smell of sickness and death, but I could smell the antiseptic from miles away.
I was speaking to the receptionist when I felt a small hand tug on my trousers.
I looked down to see a boy with blonde hair. “Hey, sir.” He said in a calm voice.
He bit his lower lips, looking around, “Do you know where they sell chocolate bars here? I can't find it.” He said, and to himself, he said, "They should at least have one.”
“No, they don't sell any here," I said.
He twisted his lips and squinted his eyes, his head raised as he stared at me.