My ex-husband's nightmare - Chapter 69: Chapter 69

Gloria
When I got the news that the kidney didn't match, I felt my world stop. “I'm sorry, Mrs. Gloria.” Dr. Telvin apologized for the fifth time.
I supported myself by placing my hand on one of the tables close to me.
“What can we do? Dr. Telvin, I can't leave my granddaughter to die.” I said.
I couldn't believe that my connection was failing me. I have spent years building what I have today, and I have donated money to support patients who had none. Build hospitals in places the government wouldn't respond, so why should I have to deal with this?
I can't watch my daughter carry her child. The thought of that made me sick to my stomach.
“What can we do about this? There surely must be something we can do.” I said into the phone. My legs had gotten too weak to stand, so I sat on the nearest couch.
“I'm sorry.” He said.
After the call, I placed a call to someone else. Jeremy, he still owes me one. The call connected after a few rings. I cleared my throat and began, “Dr. Jeremy, it's been so long,” he was thrilled.
“I didn't think you'd be calling Mrs. Gloria. I never got a chance to thank you properly for the donation you made last month. The foundation is grateful, ma'am.” He said.
I smile sadly.
I had not even known about the condition of my granddaughter at that point, not that it would have changed anything. I would have contributed either way.
“It's fine,” I said.
My heart was hammering against my chest. I have something to ask. Given this was the sixth Dr. I was calling, I couldn't help the bile that rose up to my throat.
“I have a favor to ask from you.” I went ahead to tell him what I wanted from him.
“I'm sorry, Mrs. Gloria.” My hope, which was hanging on a thin thread, broke. “I won't be able to help right now.” He said.
I closed my eyes and threw my head back, “It's fine.” I say, though, I was screaming inside. It wasn't fine.
I can't handle this. The pain is too much, and I'm thinking that I have to be the one to make sure my granddaughter becomes fine after this. I kicked myself internally.
No, nothing will happen to Melanie.
After the call, I knew I had just one option left.
I had found a kidney that matched hers, but I was late. It was for a ten-year-old boy with the same health conditions. If only I had called a day earlier.
I offered to pay more than the boy had, and I knew the doctor would bend.
So I did.
When I told Lydia about my decision, I didn't expect her to be in favor of it, but I was sure that I would be able to convince her. She needed her daughter.
I needed my granddaughter to be in good health.
But I was wrong. I couldn't convince her, and we got into our first ever fight.
I didn't sleep a wink all night. Morning came swiftly; my eyes were swollen and red. I tried to console myself that there was still time, but I couldn't.
All night, all I could think about was the memory I had been trying to bury.
When I was training to become a nurse, I had seen first-hand how these same health problems had claimed the life of a boy. The parents never fully got over it. And because I was accompanying the doctor treating the boy, and that was one of the first deaths I witnessed, I became traumatized by it.
I went for therapy for three months because of it, coupled with other things I witnessed in the hospital.
And now that fear I felt that day was crawling back. Raw, unfiltered fear. I can't deal with it. I felt suffocated in my house with my family. I decided to leave that morning. I had no place in mind, but I knew I had to go.
Aside from that, it has been a hassle keeping the twins away from me all evening yesterday, and I don't want them to witness my breakdown.
I got into my car and drove off. When I got to the red light, I stopped, placed my head on my steering wheel, and wiped. I didn't raise my head until I heard horns blaring from behind me, urging me to drive off.
I did.
I drove around the city aimlessly for a while. I pulled over in front of a lake. Stepping out of my car, I stood on the bridge, then walked closer to it and placed my hand on the rails.
This was hard.
I wanted to scream. This is tearing me apart, and I feel like a terrible mother. I should be pulling myself together and supporting Lydia just the way she is doing with her twins.
She was there with them while I was here, trying to sort out my own emotions.
I screamed out of the lake, letting it all out. My throat was sore when I stopped. I felt a bit better. I was panting. I contemplated calling my therapist but decided against it.
Maybe I should try to sort this out first.
I felt a presence behind me, and I turned.
I came face-to-face with Marcus.
“Morning, Mrs. Gloria. I had an inkling that it was your car, and then I saw it, I knew it was you, what are you… You've been crying? Oh my goodness, what's wrong?” He asked, walking over to me.
He reached for my shoulder, and I felt like breaking down.
“Marcus,” I said, cleaning my face with the back of my palm.
“What are you doing here?”
“I run on the bridge every morning.” He said.
“I'm out for a walk.” An obvious lie, which he did dispute.
“That's not true. Is everything alright? How's Lydia? How's the twins?” He asked, concerned.
“They're fine. I'm all good.” I said again.
“You can tell me what is wrong, you know. I won't judge.” There was something about the way he said it.
I felt like breaking down in his hold but stopped myself. He was my daughter's business partner. They've been working together for a long time, and he would always come home to visit the twins most days. Still, I didn't know him well enough.
He was practically a stranger.
“I'm not fine.” I heard myself say. We sat in the nearest cafe.
He is opposite me. He listened keenly as I spoke, telling him all about Melanie's sickness, the calls I'd made, and my fears.
He understood. After I've finished speaking, he cupped my hand with his and spoke in the most gentle tone.
“You know, Lydia didn't mean whatever she said?” He asked, and I nodded.
“I didn't mean what I said either,” I called her a terrible mother.
She was the exact opposite of being terrible. We both knew it.
“I think you allowed your emotions to speak yesterday. I can tell that Lydia isn't doing well; this must be eating her up, too. And also, at this moment, she needs all the support she can get.” He was reasonable.
He was right: “I think you should talk it out with her first. Then, you can settle and put your differences aside.
“Thank you. Please don't tell Lydia I told you anything.” He made a zip motion on his lips with his fingers.
“My lips are sealed. I won't tell her about it if she doesn't tell me first.”
Marcus and I went to the park together. He went to her first while I gave a lame excuse and just walked around the park, then I settled in a corner where I could watch the twins and Lydia.
When Marcus’s eyes met mine, and Lydia turned in my direction, I took that as the clue to meet her.
Marcus left. Lydia stood when she saw me. She spread her arms apart and went into my hug. “I'm so sorry, Mom. I shouldn't have spoken to you in such a manner.” She said.
“It's fine.” I replied, “and I'm sorry too. I have been doing a terrible job as your mother. She shook her head, lifting her head from my blossom.
“No, you are wonderful.” She looked back, “Let's sit and talk.’
We spent the next hour talking. We finally came to a conclusion. We'll find another kidney. She can't allow a boy to die because of her daughter.
She clutched my hands, “I believe we'll stand tall and strong at the end of this storm. Storms are meant to pass, not stay.”
I nodded, agreeing with her while sending a secret prayer that my Melanie stays alive with us.