My Home From Home - Chapter 27: Chapter 27

"Right, so Alfie will need his bottle every four hours or he'll get terribly fussy, and Danny will be fine with anything. He's very adaptive, our Danny." Henry grabbed the nappy bag and handed it towards a Emily who's blue eyes dripped with a look of confusion at the look of daze and stress in Henry's. "Right, I can't think of anything else you might need." Henry's eyes darted about as he ran a hand stressedly through his lustrous dark hair.
He hadn't a clue as to why he was so terribly anxious about leaving Danny and Alfie in Fir Creek with Mary and Emily as childminders. They'd done it a few times in the past whenever Thomas took Henry to house-calls that were too far away. However, for some reason or another, he felt wrong leaving them this time round; granted that they were leaving for leisure rather than work, though of this fact Mary and Emily remained blissfully ignorant.
"Don't worry, Dr Dunmurry." Smiled Mary, her voice smooth and comforting as she reached for Henry's forearm. "Don't worry, we'll take good care of them." Henry glanced up towards her; his gaze flicking between her's and Emily who both mirrored each others' looks of reassurance with Alfie in Mary's arms and .
"We've babysat these two munchkins before, we've got it handled." Emily smiled up at him, ruffling the little blond toddler's hair as Danny stood next to her.
"Yes, of course you have. I'm just being silly."" Henry blinked away any preoccupation he had regarding the matter, forcing a soft smile as he shook his head at his own silliness. He squatted down onto his hunches and gave Danny a wide smile. "Alright, love. You be good with Miss Emily and Miss Mary."
"Yes, Henwy." Danny nodded, walking up to Henry and giving him a little kiss on the cheek before the raven haired man pulled him in for a tight loving hug. Henry stood back up with a huff, momentarily glancing over across the room towards the handsome young Constable in his civilian clothes and a heavy fur lined winter coat that still managed to show off his wide shoulders and muscular build. Thomas had an amused smile plastered across his attractively chiseled face as he stood leant against the doorway with his arms folded over his chest.
"We should really be off." Henry cleared his throat as he glanced back over towards the two young women in the room; watching as Mary smiled up at him and Emily sort of smirked which was rather curious to him.
"Have a safe journey, Dr Henry." Mary nodded reassuringly, as far as she knew Henry was going to Calgary due to an emergency in town that required immediate attention and they'd likely need to spend the night there. The reality of the matter was that Thomas had a surprise planned; a romantic night away at his family's holiday cottage by the lake a few hours away. .
"Thank you, Mary." Smiled Henry mutedly. "Emily." He nodded, earning him yet another smirk from the pretty blond.
"Have fun, you two." Emily sang with the subtlest tinge of harmless teasing in her voice, prompting Henry's sapphire blue gaze to shoot up towards her scrutinisingly. He caught her eyes looking elsewhere with a mercurial look about them; following her line of vision he noted that she exchanged a cheeky look with Thomas.
Henry narrowed his gaze at Thomas, whose deep brown eyes flicked towards him, clearly feeling Henry's piercing glare on him. Thomas smiled at him as though nothing sinister was at play, though a part of Henry couldn't help but find something terribly odd was going on. Nonetheless he chose to let it go, for now that is, allowing Thomas to carry their bags out towards the stables.
He shuddered as the early morning air seemed to hit through even the thermals he had on under his trousers; the more Henry experienced of these prairie winters, the more he realised just what everyone was always on about. If he thought winters in Scotland with his Papa's cousins were cold, but Canadian winters were something else altogether.
"Trooper's going to enjoy having Midnight's help to pull the carriage." Thomas joked as he hitched his horse, Trooper, and Henry's new black stallion, Midnight, to the covered carriage.
"Yes, I suppose he would." Answered Henry with an empty tone, overlapping the hems of his fur coat together to shield him from the frigid December air and climbed onto the carriage to sit down next to Thomas.
"You alright?" Thomas asked as he hoglacned over towards him; smiling softly at the adorable sight of a very cold looking Henry with only his eyes visible under his trapper hat and wooden cashmere scarf.
"Yes." Henry responded, staring off into the distance as he contemplated asking Thomas about his little interaction with Emily; what inhibited him most was that he didn't know if he was being daft or if it was within his right to know.
Thomas clicked his tongue as the horses began slowly trotting onto the empty cleared path on Main Street. The two of them sat in silence for an excruciatingly long time as they silently watched the sun peek over the horizon; the plains around them slowly approaching the mountains of the Rockies that splayed across their line ov vision in the distance. Minutes of silence went by before Thomas figured it was high time to have another go at a normal conversation.
"Henry, if something is bothering you I'd prefer if you simply raised the issue with me rather than giving me the cold shoulder." Thomas turned towards him, yet was once again met with silence. "I value you." He said softly, though he didn't know why; it was hardly as though anyone might hear them here whilst they were surrounded on all sides by snow, lonely and tranquil white snow that blanketed the prairies. "I value you too much to let some miscommunication or misconception to create a rift between us." He glanced towards the dark haired lad, noting as his back tensed up visibly. He stayed silent as he waited for Henry to speak; or more-so prayed that he would.
"As you well know I don't like to pry. Papa always said that prying is terribly common." Henry cleared his throat, breaking the silence once again. "But one can't help but feel this is well within my right to ask considering it does involve me as well as my personal safety. Back at the house I noticed a moment between you and Emily. A look, of sorts."
"Yes." Thomas glanced over to the side at Henry, not even a tinge of anxiousness as to where this was going.
"I suppose what I'm getting at is.... I got the feeling that Emily knows about us." Henry noted under his breath. "I'm not upset if you have told her, I would just like to know."
"She's the only person in Fir Creek who knows what I am." Thomas' voice cracked as Henry noted a stark shift in his demeanour.
"You needn't speak of it, should it upset you, I shouldn't have pried in the first place, I'm terribly sorry." Henry shifted uncomfortably in the carriage seat.
"You aren't prying. You've every right to know." Thomas replied honestly as he continued steering the horses with the reins. "Emily and I are childhood friends. There were three of us originally, Emily, her twin brother John, and myself; together we were thick as thieves. When we were about thirteen I felt my feelings for John change. One summer day we were playing in one of the fields by the forest and I thought we had a moment. So I leant in to kiss John and he pushed me away. I'll never forget that moment; the fear, the rejection, the sadness. I was only thirteen and the rejection cut through my soul, but I knew enough to play it off as a joke. However what I didn't know was that Emily watched it happen."
"Thomas... I... I had no idea..." Henry blinked his gaze down in a mix of shame of regret. "I know how that feels. I do hope I haven't opened a wound."
"It's okay. It's no big deal now." Shrugged Thomas indifferently. "Emily has always been kind to me even though she knew what I was. Since then, I've always shared everything with her. There were days that I felt like if I didn't have someone to tell, I'd die. She saved me in many ways." He stared off into the distance as a smile crept across his lips. "So when a pretty sapphire blue eyed English medic in a face mask saved my life on the battlefield and stole my heart, I told her. When a saw pretty dark haired boy with those eerily familiar deep blue eyes at the Calgary railway station, I told her. And in turn, I was there for her; when her parents died of Spanish Flu, when her brother died on the battlefield. I was there for her."
"I'm so terribly sorry." Henry's eyes washed over with a look of pity. "You must've cared for him."
"I cared for him." Thomas admitted softly, though Henry would be lying if he said it didn't hurt a bit hearing Fhomas admit that about someone else. "He was a good friend."
"Friend?" Henry averted his gaze away from Thomas, knowing that question was likely impertinent.
"Friend." Thomas replied honestly. "The truth is, I've never really had anyone I considered more than a friend." He transferred the reigns into one hand, leaving one free for him to place on Henry's thigh. "Until now."
"You've never been in love?" Henry furrowed his brows at the handsome blond; the curiosity practically itching at him form the inside; though both men knew they had a handful of past intimate encounters, it was oddly enough something they'd never really spoken about much.
"Not till now." Thomas replied honestly; inside him he knew one thing. He loved Henry. But what he feared most was telling him and scaring him away. He loved the idea of Henry when he was in that medic tent; he fell in love with a concept only to fall in love again as he knew the real Henry."What about you, ever been in love?"
"Not till now." Henry blinked his gaze downward. "I always thought love wasn't written in our fates; not for men like us at least." Henry admitted with a pained look in his sapphire blue eyes. "I lost my virginity young, whilst at boarding school to one of the older pupils." Henry's voice sounded hollow as he recounted his past. "From then I found sexual intimacy to be worthless; there were lads at school, later men at underground bars. It felt good physically, but there were no emotion, no love, no feelings, just skin on skin, purely biological. I've only done it a hand full of times, mostly other lads who had as much to lose as I did; it felt nice in the moment but after it was over I just felt dirty, used, like an object of sorts. I suppose that's why I became such a flirt as I grew older; I flirted with anyone and everyone but didn't give the majority of them what they wanted. Perhaps it was psychological; something about having the power to attract without giving them what they wanted that made me feel... power... power whilst being so, so helpless and alone."
A prolonged silence ensued between them as Thomas took in everything Henry just told him; they'd never had a conversation this candid and personal before. They mostly talked about their days, their plans for later that evening, the boys and the cute things they did or said that day. Whilst in bed together they hardly ever spoke; their minds and bodies connecting in a way that left them feeling as though they were the only life forces they needed in this world. And though Thomas was happy Henry was willing to open up to him like this, a strange sort of him felt the urge to grit his teeth that Henry had been touched by others; but most importantly touched by others who didn't value him like he did.
"I was eighteen my first time. I went to an underground bar in Vancouver whilst I was there for university. The big city presented more opportunities, so to speak." Thomas cleared his throat and broke the painful silence. "Some random guy, frankly I couldn't tell you what he looked like let alone his name. There were few others, and each were as unremarkable as the last."
"Is it terribly silly to say that a part of me regrets not saving myself for someone... Special?" Henry asked as he stated mindlessly, glancing over towards Thomas to carefully observe his reaction; watching as he shook his head silently with the corners of his mouth perking up. "Do you... regret not saving yourself for someone special?" Probed Henry curiously.
"No." Thomas replied sans hesitation, cocking his head to the side to see the slightest hint of disappointment in those deep blue eyes. Henry felt shattered inside through he knew not why; all his life growing up in Edwardian times he was told that sexual intimacy was best saved until marriage. But with men like Henry, for whom marriage wasn't dealt in their cards, most had no such inhibitions pursuing intimacy in the shadows.  A part of him inexplicably wished he'd saved himself for Thomas, solely so his first time would be with someone who actually cared for him; but clearly Thomas didn't feel the same.
"The way I look at it." Continued Thomas, pulling on the reins to brink the carriage to a complete halt as he turned to lock eyes with a rather flushed looking Henry. "I don't regret any of my past encounters." He said as Henry awkwardly blinked his gaze downwards with a muted near silent exhale. "Because without those encounters, how would I know just how different it feels to be be with someone special; how perfect." He cooed smoothly clicking his tongue to start the horses off on their trot once again and allowing a naughty smile to creep over his face as he watched Henry's cool blue eyes shoot up towards him with a light blush blossoming over his fair alabaster cheeks.
"Are you really not going to tell me where we're going." Henry flashed Thomas a cheeky glare, earning him a smirk from the gorgeous blond Constable. It was perhaps the third go Henry had had at trying to figure out where Thomas was taking him; they had
"You'll see when we get there."
And soon enough Henry would see, as they veered off of the travelled path and made their way through the uncleared snow and through a light wooded area. There was a silent tranquility about the woods; the snow dusted boughs of the evergreen trees without so much as a sound around them barring the gentle paces of the horses and the wheels of the carriage rustling against the crunching snow beneath.
"And here we are." Smiled Thomas as he stopped the carriage and climbed out of the drivers seat all the while Henry's eyes darted around to see nothing around them other than trees and snow.
"Oh erm... It's lovely!" Henry forced a smile though there was confusion clear eyes as he watched Thomas walk around the carriage towards the passenger seat to tow Henry playfully out of the carriage.
"This isn't the surprise, just hang on.I don't have a blindfold so this will have to do." Thomas held Henry by the shoulders and spun him round; placing his strong hands over Henry's eyes as he guided him through the forest and towards their destination.
Pace by pace, step by step, Henry followed Thomas' lead with blind trust; his Wellingtons gently crunching through the clean white snow as their breath clouded the cold winter air around them.  Thomas couldn't keep the grin off his face as he dropped his hands down from over Henry's eyes; watching the dark haired boy blink his eyes open, squinting as his eyes acclimatised to the bright snow after having been covered by Thomas' hands.
The corners of Henry's mouth perked up into a smile, his eyes brightened at the sight before him; a beautiful frozen lake with its almost turquoise-emeral coloured ice gleaming from the winter sun surrounded by snow dusted evergreen conifers around its shore. A little ways away he saw a quaint little cottage made entirely of logs.
"It's absolutely heautiful..." Henry gasped breathily as his eyes darted across the breathtakingly pristine lake before him. "Where are we?" He asked, feeing Thomas body press ho against his body from behind: wrapping his arms around Henry's waist and holding him tight.
"My parents always called this their own little slice of paradise." Thomas nuzzled into the nape of Henry's neck. "They built the cottage with their own bands and we've been coming here as a family holiday home ever since. We'd swim in the lake in the summers, come ice skating in the winter, stare out at the fiery auburn leaves as they changed colour in the autumn and watched the wildflowers bloom in spring. We didn't have much as a family, but we had each other and we had these memories."
Henry cocked his head towards Thomas, his eyes flicking between the man's gorgeously warm brown eyes and his lightly licked lips; leaning in to lock lips with the man as he felt this inexplicable bout of confidence shoot through his veins like adrenaline. For there, as they stood in each other's arms, out in the open and unafraid should someone see them; because in this remote corner of the woods they found their little oasis, away from the world and it's prying harsh judgement. Judgement for a life they hadn't chosen, and a love for which they'd willingly leave all.
They took a minute to rest from their journey; unloading the carriage and taking the horses to the miniature stables that Thomas' parents built next to the log cabin; it was all so different from what Henry had grown up around but he almost liked it better. It was so quaint, so natural, so idyllic; he loved how simplistic, cosy, and homely it was; not like the stuffy, cold, emotionless holiday homes he was accustomed to back home and on the Continent.
"I can't believe your parents built this place with their own two hands." Henry pranced about the  cottage, staring in awe and admiration at the rustic interior.
"It's quite something, eh?" The taller blond smiled sheepishly, observing as a curious Henry explored the rooms; a small kitchen, a drawing room, a master bedroom of sorts and an extra bedroom for the children to share. "This... Is the first time I've been back here since they died..." Thomas glanced around with tear pooled eyes as the random curios and trinkets placed about the cottage brought memories flooding back to him.
"Are you alright?" Henry walked up behind Thomas, snaking his arms around his front and embracing him tightly; resting his head against Thomas' shoulder.
"I am. Especially with you her." Thomas glanced over his shoulder, smirking down playfully at the mess of dark black hair against the fur lined collar of his coat. "Hey." He nudged Henry's head playfully with his shoulder, prompting the lad to raise his head to look up at him. "Wanna go skating?"
Henry smiled and nodded up at the handsome young Constable, and with that they were off; slipping on their toques, scarves and gloves to protect them from the bone-chilling  late December air. As they walked out into the open, Henry felt a strange sensation of butterflies deep within his stomach; a sense of nerves mixed with the slightest hint of dread. He hadn't ice skated since he was a child.
"I must warn you I haven't ice skated in ages, not since I was at least fourteen with our cousins over Christmas at the Winter Palace in St Petersburg." Henry grimaced at the sight of the frozen lake as they watched form the distance; he normally never shied away form challenges, but this time round he couldn't help but worry he'd make a fool of himself in front of Thomas.
"Don't worry." Thomas slipped Henry's gloves hand into his own and gave it a tender squeeze; locking eyes with him and winking cheekily, prompting the raven haired boy to blush bright red. "I'll be right here to make sure you never fall."
They laced up their skates by the ice and shuffled a few paces towards the glassy frozen ice; it was a peculiar deep turquoise blue in colour with the most beautiful natural flaws in the ice, though for the most part it looked clear. Thomas took Henry by the hand as he stepped out onto the ice, patiently towing him along at his own pace as the dark haired remained hesitant; his feet unwilling to step off the pristine white snow.
"I've got you." Thomas said softly, nodding with reassurance as Henry felt a strange semblance within his pounding chest. "I won't let you fall."
Henry's Adam's apple rose and fell within his slender pale neck; nodding grudgingly as he finally stepped onto the ice, initially feeling himself lose his balance as the blade of his skate went from the buffered snow to the bare ice.
"Whoa there." Thomas hastily snaked his arm around Henry's waist to keep him from losing his balance. He glanced down towards Henry, whose blue eyes were dripping with fear, his dark hair fallen out of his toque and into his face. "I told you I wouldn't let you fall." Smiled Thomas as he pushed the fringe of raven black hair back up under the knitted maroon fabric of Henry's toque.
And Thomas never did let him fall; he held Henry by the waist as they skated around, allowing him time to accustom himself back into skating. Before he knew it, the ever hesitant Henry was skating all on his own and practically skating circles around Thomas.
"It's so tranquil here..." Henry admitted as the skated out to the centre of the ice and took in the sight around them; snowcapped mountains in the distance, snow dusted trees near the lakeshore, and the once pristine turquoise ice now lightly scoffed by their skates. "Easily the most beautiful sight I've ever seen..."
"Couldn't agree more..." Smiled Thomas cheekily, his eyes darkened with desire as he skated straight up to what he thought was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen; Henry. He snaked his arm around Henry's slender waist, pulling him in against his strong musclebound body as he they stood there on the ice gazing into one another's eyes. A fire of passion building between them as their cheeks seemed to flush from the cold winter air, their breath laboured from ages of skating. "You know... I nearly bought you a new coat for Christmas... But then I decided not to..."
"W-why ever not?" Henry whispered breathily, his perplexed deep blue eyes scanning Thomas' face.
"Because I knew that' mean..." Thomas' lips perked up into a half smile. "I wouldn't get to see you wearing my coat everyday... And I love that far too much to give it up." Thomas licked his lips instinctively as he watched Henry part his; leaning in to bridge the gap between them they kissed right then and there in the centre of the ice with nobody around for miles. Just two men who loved one another, in an area of hate, surrounded by the very nature that made them as they are...
They stayed at the lake for two nights, laughing and talking all day as they skated tirelessly about the beautiful blue ice. They talked about everything under the sun, from Thomas' childhood playing hockey on frozen ponds like this, to the Wilson family coming to this very lake every Boxing Day to skate and play hockey, and just spend time as a family. Henry told Thomas all about Boxing Day back home when they'd give the servants gifts, go out on hunting trips with others including Thomas' grandfather the Duke of Bedford, how they'd always spend New Year's Eve at Thomas' grandfather's house every year.
And when the sun went down for those two nights they spent cuddled up together in front of the fire in the cosy little cabin of theirs; nestled skin to skin, body to body, naked in each others' arms. They were free here; free to fall asleep in each other's arms and wake up the same way. Free to exist, to kiss in the open air, to hold hands, to hug. Free to live a normalcy that at the time they didn't even think was possible. Free to love each other exactly how they were meant to be...