Neighbor|Taekook - Chapter 16: Chapter 16

What have I done?! Why... why did I do it?!
Taehyung turned to his side, his back facing Jungkook, the storm outside raging on.
What did he mean? We both know?! Shit! I fucked up... so badly... Why the hell did I kiss him? What on Earth... Now he thinks...Oh God... Never again, I'm never letting myself do that again... This was such a bad idea... but he's still here... and he didn't punch me or anything, so... I hope he's not mad... I didn't want him to cry and now I did this... good job Jungkook...
"Hyung?"he whispered.
Taehyung didn't say anything.
"Are you still scared?"he whispered again.
Taehyung slowly shook his head. He flinched when another loud thunder struck somewhere near, followed by lightning.
Jungkook wanted to hug him, pull him closer, make him feel safe, but he knew that it wasn't the right thing to do now. Instead he pulled the duvet higher, covering Taehyung's shoulders and also turned to the side, his back facing Taehyung's back.
"Good night, hyung," he whispered quietly, almost to himself.
"Good night, Kookie," he heard even quieter whisper back.
When Jungkook opened his eyes in the morning, he was the only one in his bed, Taehyung was gone. He looked around his room, there was no one there. He then went to check the living room, no one. The kitchen was empty too. Taehyung just wasn't there, he didn't leave any note either. Jungkook didn't get any text message, nothing.
Great... this is it... he is never going to talk to me again. He is most likely going to avoid me... and it's all my fault... what was I thinking?! I've never acted so reckless in my life... I'm always the one to overthink everything, every step... Yet this time, I had no restraint... it's... it's his fault too... he's been driving me insane.
He made a small breakfast and ate it alone, surrounded by nothing but silence. The rain outside has ceased through the night and now only dark clouds were covering the sky. He turned on the TV, to cut through the silence.
What should I do now? Follow my original plan... sleep a lot, eat a lot... I've lost my appetite... He pushed away his plate with half eaten breakfast. I guess I will be bored for the rest of the week... What will he be doing though? I didn't want him to be lonely and now he chooses to be lonely, rather than spend time with me... Fucking good job Jungkook, you excel in everything you do...except, when it comes to dealing with people...He sighed frustrated.
Should I apologize? Would it make things better? Or maybe, pretend it didn't happen... One thing is for certain, I'm not going to bother him, I probably seem too clingy... and he needs space... But I want to know if he's okay... what happened to him yesterday? He was acting so strange... and then crying? If I don't ask him if he's fine now, would it seem like I don't care? He left without leaving any message, so he probably wants to be left alone...
He grabbed his phone and decided to text Yugyeom instead.
--Hey bro, when exactly are you coming?--
--Happy Chuseok to you too, Kook... -_- Next Friday--
--Ok--
--Someone is in a bad mood... Is the fam responsible for that?--
--I didn't go to Busan. I'm staying in Seoul.--
--What?! Alone?--
--Yeah, well not really...--
--Don't tell me there's a girl involved ;) --
--No... nothing like that.--
--How come your mom let you?--
--I don't know either...--
I really don't know... She didn't argue with me that much, that's...unusual for her...
--Look at you, ditching your past as a Busan man... now you're a chic Seoul guy.--
--Yeah, right...--
--I'm looking forward to seeing you... we have a lot to talk about.--
Yeah, we do...
--I miss you-- Jungkook typed all of a sudden.
It was true, with all the crazy things happening, Jungkook missed the good old time with Yugyeom. A time, when he didn't have to deal with all these confusing feelings. When everything seemed to be easier, less complicated.
--I miss you too, it's not the same without you... Now stop saying things like that, or I'll get emotional...--
The sadness caused by leaving his hometown started creeping back. He was tired of Seoul. He was tired of Taehyung, he was tired of hiding his feelings, feeling guilty, restraining himself. I should have gone back to Busan, what's the point of staying here? I should stop caring about him...If I'm stuck in this city, I should try and make other friends... Friends, who wouldn't make me feel the way he does...
--I want the next week to be over quickly, so you can come.--
--Same... I have to go now. I hope you're not too lonely. If you want to talk, text me.--
--Ok. Bye Gyeomie.--
He tossed his phone on the armchair, his mood ruined. He felt like a fool for staying there because of Taehyung. Of course he wouldn't appreciate it, he doesn't know that I stayed here because of him... Or would he? Or find it weird? My family is Jungkook... The memory flashed in his mind and he felt like his heart clenched. Did he really mean that? How can I say, that I'm tired of him?! That's such a lie... He is... he is so precious...I love every minute I get to spend with him... and I hate it at the same time...
Jungkook didn't know what to do, so he mindlessly watched the TV until lunch time. After eating a small meal, he turned off the TV and turned on his computer instead to play Overwatch. However it wasn't that enjoyable for him, so after about one hour, he quit playing.
This is probably what a start of depression is like... I wish Jimin-hyung was here at least... Someone...anyone... He caught his reflection in the mirror. His face looked hollow and tired, his skin dull. Overall, he looked the same as when he was looking at himself in the mirror in his old room in Busan. The face of someone who's saying goodbye? Most likely...
He went to the kitchen, looking for ways to occupy himself. Maybe I could make some songpyeon... and eat it alone... He sighed and started gathering the ingredients. He has never done it before, so he looked up a recipe. He chose to fill the rice cakes with red bean paste and after what seemed like eternity, he was done. The end result was better than he expected. He pulled out his phone to take a photo of his creation and send it to his mom. As he was trying to find a good angle, his phone started ringing.
Shit!
The name on the screen was TaeTae.
What do I do? What do I do?! The phone almost slipped out of his hands. Do I pick up? No? Yes?
-H...hello?- he picked it up
-Hi. What are you doing?-
How the hell does he sound so casual?! Like nothing happened...
-N...nothing much...uh, I...I did some cooking and stuff. H...how about you?- he tried to sound as calm as possible, but his heart was racing
-I'm bored to death... Want to go for a walk?-
-Oh...n...now?-
Wh...what?
-A bit later if you want.-
-O...okay...hyung, are you...-
-Sorry I left without leaving a note, I left my phone in my place. I wanted to check it in case my mom called me...and since I don't have your keys, I couldn't go back to your place...Also I didn't want to bother you anymore...-
-No... you're not...you didn't bother me...-
He is actually talking to me... so what happened yesterday... he's okay with it?!
-I'm sorry...-
-What are you sorry for? I should be the one to...-
-I'm just sorry-
He is the one apologizing?!
-Hyung, can I come over for a second?-
-Sure-
Jungkook hung up and arranged his songpyeon on the plate for Taehyung to try. He then went to knock on his door.
"Coming," he heard from behind the door.
Taehyung opened the door and smiled. He looked completely normal, for some reason Jungkook was expecting him to look upset or tired, but his hyung looked fresh faced as always.
He let Jungkook in,"are these for me?" he pointed at the plate.
"Uh, I made too many, so if you want some...They are filled with red bean paste."
"Husband Kookie back at it again," Taehyung smirked.
He is his usual self... teasing me like always... Like he wasn't shivering and crying his eyes out last night...
Taehyung took the plate. "You know what they say about beautifully shaped sungpyeon, people who make them will find a good spouse. And yours," he locked eyes with Jungkook," are definitely beautifully shaped."
Jungkook's face got red immediately,"that's a stupid thing to say."
"Are you looking down on our traditions?"
"No, but how would songpyeon help anyone find a good spouse... you know it's just an anecdote..."
"I don't know, perhaps you could seduce someone with your rice cakes..."
"That's enough, hyung..."
"Lucky me, Jungkookie tried to seduce me..."
Lord help me... If he's not going to stop with the teasing I'm...
"Oh geez, I just made them because I was bored... and it's a tradition to make them during Chuseok, there was no other reason... certainly not what you're saying," his face was burning up.
"You know, I like this shade of red on your face... makes my imagination wonder..."
"What are you talking about now, hyung?" Jungkook was confused.
"Oh, nothing for your ears," he took one rice cake and put it whole in his mouth.
"So...you were bored too?" Jungkook asked.
"Yeah, I've gotten used to having one pretty boy around me all the time..."
"I'm not pretty... for the hundredth time..."
"So hyung's opinion doesn't matter to you?" Taehyung shoved another rice cake in his mouth, clearly having way too much fun, teasing Jungkook.
"I didn't mean it like that..."
"Well, you are pretty to me... for the hundredth time... the end."
Jungkook this time given up for good, sighed and closed his eyes," wh... what happened...yesterday... I..."
"As I said I'm sorry about that... it won't happen again, I just felt... a bit lonely... and I always have a hard time during storms... But next time, I won't be a bother..."
I meant the freaking kiss!!! Is he ignoring the fact that I fucking kissed him last night?! Two guys kissing?! And he's like nothing happened...
"Oh...it's... fine...I hope... you slept well."
The awkwardness is killing me! What now? Am I supposed to follow his act? Okay then, it didn't happen...not at all...
"I can't remember the last time I slept so soundly."
"I'm glad... Wow, you really must like it," Taehyung ate almost half of the sweet cakes.
Taehyung winked at him," so do you really want to go for a walk with me?"
"Yeah, sure, but it's getting dark. Isn't it too late?"
"I know a place which is perfect for evening walks."
"Okay."
"We can go right now. Go and put some warm clothes on and let's meet up in ten minutes."
Jungkook nodded and took the now empty plate from Taehyung's hands. Back at his apartment he closed the door and leaned against it. He took a deep breath. That went better than I was expecting... Everything is back to normal... or at least I think it is? Jungkook couldn't help but smile, he was relieved. All the negative thoughts he had earlier today disappeared and now he was much happier. His presence heals everything... washes all the worries away... but also causes them... Kim Taehyung will be the death of me...
Jungkook pulled out some warm clothes from his wardrobe and layered them on. He quickly checked himself in the mirror, his cheeks were still little bit flushed. I definitely look better than earlier... God, he actually does make me happy... In the bathroom, he brushed his teeth, washed his face and put some perfume on. Grabbing his keys, phone and wallet, he made his way to the hallway and put on his favorite boots. After that he met up with Taehyung, who was already waiting.
"So where are we going?"
"We will have to take subway, it's a not in the neighborhood. But I promise it's nice."
"Whatever you say..."
They got onto the subway," I assume you haven't been to the Fortress Wall yet, right?" Taehyung asked.
Jungkook shook his head," you are becoming my Seoul tour guide, hyung," he poked him with his elbow.
"The least appreciated tour guide, that is."
"Come on... I would be so bored without you... I'm... really thankful for having someone to spend time with. And you know it damn well!"
"I just like teasing you, Jungkookie," he chuckled.
"I've noticed...Sometimes I feel like I'm the hyung here..."
"Oh, you can be the hyung... you know, if you're into it..."
"Huh?"
"It's our station, let's go."
The weather was cold, with a slight wind whistling through the tree branches. Jungkook zipped his jacket up and put his hands in his pockets. The stars were nowhere in sight, hiding beyond the heavy clouds. Taehyung lead the way, and soon they made it to the path along the wall. This whole week, all the places were empty, it was almost as if they had the whole city for themselves. Here too, two of them were the only people walking up.
"Isn't it crazy?" Taehyung started,"all the families are together and us... this is what we do..." He also put his hands in his pockets as the wind got stronger. "However, it is strangely nice... like it's the most natural thing for me, spending time with you Jungkookie. And I don't feel regretful..."
Now I feel so ashamed... I was regretting everything earlier today... doubting all my decisions. Those decisions... maybe they were right... if I can make him happy...
"You make me happy, hyung," Jungkook meant every word as he looked into his beautiful eyes.
Taehyung smiled at him. That irresistible smile, which warmed Jungkook's heart and made him immensely happy every time. He really does make me happy...
"It's good to know... I haven't heard those words in a long time... Making someone happy...I was starting to think that I'm not capable of doing that..."
"Nonsense!"
"There's still a lot you don't know..."
"Because you bloody won't share anything with me!"
Taehyung took his hand out of his pocket and outstretched it towards Jungkook.
"What?"
"Give me your hand."
Jungkook did as he was told to, expecting to hear one of his secrets. Instead, Taehyung entwined his long fingers with Jungkook's, his large warm palm touching his and continued walking.
What now we're holding hands?! Just casual... of course...
"Hyung, why are we..."
"Shush, just enjoy the scenery."
Thank God, there are no people here... What would they think?! What is HE thinking?!
After several minutes of walking, they got pretty high up, having nice view of the city.
"Hyung, you always take me to these nice places, it's awesome."
"You get excited so easily, your eyes always lit up, Jungkookie."
It started to rain lightly, the sound of tiny raindrops was mixing with the sound of the city.
"You really are a baby," Taehyung continued,"...my baby."
"What did you say?" Jungkook swept his wet hair from his face. "It's drizzling, shouldn't we go back?"
"You know what they say about this place?"
"No."
"It's Seoul's best first kiss location."
"Oh..."
"But that wouldn't apply to us anymore, right?" he smirked.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! So he wasn't ignoring what happened last night?!!!
"Y...yeah... uh... about that... I didn't..." his heart started beating fast.
"I know I told you to not do it again... I changed my mind."
"No, no, no..." his whole face, his whole body felt hot.
"I actually liked it," the smirk not leaving his face.
Stop with that fucking face! Or I'll... lose it again...
"Please, hyung..."
"Are you begging me?"
"Please..."
"Begging me to kiss you?"
Jungkook shook his head, water droplets flying everywhere, he was unable to speak.
"No? Well then, instead of me kissing you... you will have to kiss me instead."
Jungkook shook his head again," please," he whispered.
Taehyung moved closer. Jungkook wanted to step back, but his body was frozen, his heart almost jumping out of his chest. With head down, his eyes were looking at Taehyung's chest. He felt the heat radiating from his hyung, he could smell that heady masculine scent.
"You obviously wanted to do it yesterday. Why hesitate now?" Taehyung whispered with his deep husky voice into his ear.
Jungkook slowly looked up, Taehyung's face was almost touching his. Only the faint drizzle was separating them. He looked into his eyes and shook his head slightly again. His eyes landed on Taehyung's lips, he knew how soft they were, he knew how warm they were... He had a chance to feel them again...right now...
"Hyung... you do it," he whispered.
One corner of Taehyung's lips twitched upwards in a smirk. "Then ask for it."
"Hyung, kiss me," he breathed, his whole body tantalized.
"Ask nicely," he ordered, moving his face even closer.
"Hyung, please kiss me."
"Are you sure?"
Jungkook nodded.
"Good boy," Taehyung cupped both of his raindrop covered cheeks in his large hands and their lips connected in a hot kiss.