Neighbor|Taekook - Chapter 18: Chapter 18

"Hyung, you shouldn't be saying things like that,"Jungkook didn't know how to react. He still had his hand placed on Taehyung's chest. His own heart started to match Taehyung's fast heart rate.
Here we go again... the suffering...
"Does it make you uncomfortable?"
"Things like that shouldn't be said to a friend..."he realized how close he was to Taehyung, his chest and torso practically glued on Taehyung's back, their legs slightly tangled together. His hips were touching Taehyung's butt and he was praying that his hyung couldn't feel how hard he was getting.
Great fucking timing...
"Why not?"
"Don't you think it's a bit weird? Telling me that your heart beats fast because of me?"
"Shouldn't friendship be based on honesty?"
"Yeah, but maybe you should save some things for yourself."
"I thought you were fed up with my secrets."
"I guess it's better to not know anything then."
"Is the truth too hard for you to face?"
"Okay, let's just say that what you'd said makes me uncomfortable. I don't care about the truth you're speaking of."
He thinks he knows me better, than I know myself...
"The truth is Jungkookie, you make the heart of this man beat fast. I don't know how you do it, but it's happening."
"My hearing is good, hyung. You don't need to repeat that," Jungkook could feel the anger creeping back.
"Are we going to have another fight?"
"Forget it, hyung."
"I don't want YOU to forget. Stop ignoring this. You haven't discovered all the parts of yourself and it's normal to be scared of an unknown territory. But hey, you have me, we can explore together."
"I don't want to explore anything. And stop talking like you know everything..."
"Then you're a coward, who wants to spend all his life following rules."
"I thought you were the one, who was always perfect, hyung. Never deviating from what's right."
"I've been forced to be like that."
"Then maybe you should've resisted that force. Maybe YOU are the coward, hyung!"
"If you want to fight, I just want to remind you Jungkookie that we are both in bed. A bed fight might have some unexpected consequences."
Hell no...
Jungkook quickly took his hand from Taehyung's chest and rolled to his back. His body was betraying him, the physical closeness of Taehyung torturing him.
I'm so fucking done with him today... It's time for me to have an upper hand... literally...
"It seems that my anger is on it's peak today... but fine, have it your way. If you want to explore, then..."he snatched Taehyung's hand and put it right on top of his erection.
Taehyung immediately tried take his hand away, but Jungkook held it there. "Does it make you uncomfortable, hyung?"
"Jungkook!"
"Oh, hyung are you not a fan of this type of exploration?"
"Please don't..."
"Wait... is this me testing you again? Didn't you say that I will get some kind of punishment? A kiss from you? Where is it then, hyung? Are you too shy?"
"Please be quiet Jungkook, you completely misunderstood..."
"Should I tell you why I have a boner?"
Taehyung turned to face him and muffled his mouth," you were right, it's better to not know anything," he wiggled his hand from Jungkook's grip.
"Now who's scared of an unknown territory..."Jungkook mumbled.
"Please don't do this... I don't know what got into you... If you keep doing this...you will regret it, I will regret it."
Oh he thinks he's so smart...
"Regret? Is that a word in your vocabulary? I thought you were trying to make me live more carelessly...to loosen up..."
"I don't want to drag you into anything Jungkookie... so please..."
"It's too late...I'm too invested in this... and I don't even know what it is..."he pushed Taehyung's hand from his mouth.
"What happened to you today? Your mood is..."
"I'm tired, hyung... tired of being overwhelmed by my thoughts and emotions ... and I'm frustrated... really frustrated... emotionally and... physically,"he punched a pillow with all his strenght.
"Is it my fault then?"
Yes! A million times yes!
"You are so full of yourself again..."
"I'm just trying to help you... I don't know what to think anymore Jungkookie...I guess I don't know you that well after all..."Taehyung turned his back to him.
"It is me who doesn't know what to think... You are driving me crazy..."
"So it is my fault..."Taehyung sighed.
"Let's sleep, hyung...I don't want to talk about this anymore...goodnight..."
"If you want to go to your bed, just go..."
I don't want to...
"Okay,"Jungkook sat up, ready to leave, when Taehyung grabbed his wrist.
"What now?" Jungkook asked.
"I... need you."
"What for?"
"Please stay here..."
"Make up your mind, hyung."
"Stay."
"Under one condition...Don't do or say things which would cross the boundaries of a friendship between two guys. And I will do the same."
If I can... I have to try... it has to be this way
"If that's the way you want it to be, than be it."
"At least we both wouldn't have to worry about regretting...something..."
Taehyung reluctantly nodded. Jungkook lied down with a sigh and made sure to leave a good amount of space between them.
"I... I got us plane ticket..." Taehyung said quietly," but if you..."
"What?!"
"In two weeks..."
"Without asking me first?!"
"I wanted to surprise you...I thought you'd be happy, but I can cancel them...if...maybe that would be for the better..."
"I told you, that I would have to ask my parents first anyway."
"I don't think that would be a problem."
"How come?"
"Your mom... I don't think you're supposed to know... Well, she asked me few weeks ago to try and spend time with you and..."
"What...the...fuck. Are you kidding me?!"
"It's not the way you think it is..."
"So all this time... all of this...you're doing it..."Jungkook's eyes involuntarily welled up.
"She just mentioned, that you don't have friends here and..."
"You're doing my mom a favor... That's it?! There's no other meaning behind it..."
I'm so stupid... of course there's no other meaning... What am I thinking?! Me and someone like him... How could I think, that he would...
"Not at all..."
"Did you... did you really need help with that freaking math... or was it just... another lie?"
Taehyung was silent.
"Answer me, hyung," a huge tear rolled down Jungkook's cheek.
"No matter what I say, you will misunderstand..."
Jungkook wiped away the tear,"you can cancel the tickets, I don't want to go with you anywhere." He stood up, and left Taehyung's apartment without looking back.
I can't believe this... or...I actually can...of course he wouldn't spend all this time with me just because he likes me. Tears were streaming down his face. Mom has never been against me staying late outside with him... now it makes sense...Did he feel pity? Was I like a lost puppy to him? Someone who has no one, so out of pity he decided to be my friend. I knew I was getting trapped in a maze of lies...And I can't believe I'm feeling so hurt...Why does my chest ache? It wasn't real anyway... He angrily wiped his tears away.
He collapsed on top of his bed. Shit, I'm wearing his clothes... I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore...I'd rather be lonely. He's made my life so difficult... but also nice...It was all a pretense, I'm so naive... He heard a thunder outside. I'm going to forget about him and hang out with Jimin-hyung. We'll study in the library again... I wouldn't mind being a third wheel when Yoongi-hyung is around... we can become good friends...My life will be less complicated... it will surely be nice... Jimin-hyung has warned me and I've been foolish...
He couldn't bring himself to take off Taehyung's clothes, so he buried his face in his pillow and tried to fall asleep. As soon as he closed his eyes, his room got illuminated by a lightning. It started to rain heavily, then he heard another thunder. He walked to his window and closed the curtains. Then, he returned to his bed, turned off his phone and wrapped himself in a blanket. He couldn't fall asleep, thoughts were reeling in his mind. The raindrops were hitting and splashing on the glass panels like they were trying to break in and flood his room.
Storm outside, storm in my mind and heart... He rolled to his side and tried his best to fall asleep again. Storm... Lightning followed by a thunder. I need to sleep... Raindrops hitting the window. His face... Thunder. Crying... Flood in his room. That face...
For fucks sake...He abruptly opened his eyes, kicked his blanket away and walked barefoot out of his room. I will fucking lose my mind because of him... I'll go bald.. my life span will be shortened because of him... He grabbed his keys and slammed the door behind him. He didn't bother to put on any shoes and with his hand curled up in a fist he hit the door of Taehyung's apartment. He hit it again and again, he didn't care how much ruckus he was causing in the middle of the night.
"Hello?" he heard Taehyung's voice.
"Open the door,"he shouted
"I think you need to calm down Jungkook."
His fist connected with the wood of the door again,"open the damn door," he hissed.
The key turned in it's lock and Taehyung opened the door slightly. "What's going on?"he whispered.
Even in the dark, Jungkook could see the dark shadows on his face, that haunted expression. He really doesn't like storm... He took a deep breath and sighed loudly.
"Fuck it,"Jungkook pushed the door open, took Taehyung's face in his hands and kissed him rough.
"Wh..."
"Do you know how much I care about you now?! I have to swallow my own pride and forget about everything... I can't be mad at you... And if you need me... if you really mean it... if the real Kim Taehyung means it, if he says he needs me, I'm here,"he hugged him tightly.
"Jung..."he planted another kiss on his lips.
"I like kissing you hyung, okay? That's the truth for me. I don't know why or how? But I just do. I hate to say it, but it's the nasty truth... I like it when you touch me, hug me, play with my hair, kiss me... I like all of it. It's hella weird, but I like it..."
"Jungkookie... there's no reason to fight it. You don't have to put on a mask in front of me... I already know."
"I don't want to see tears on your face, hyung. Ever. That's why I'm here... to make hyung feel better."
"Not caring about regret?"
"No...You?"
"It's too late for me anyway..."
Jungkook closed to door and took Taehyung's hand. "You won't be scared of storms ever again. Not when I'm here,"he lead Taehyung back to him room. "And you will sleep well," he gently pushed him onto the bed, the storm was still audible outside.
"We... we don't have to sleep, Jungkookie..."
"Why?"
"We can... do... other things..."
What... does... he mean? He felt the heat spreading through his body.
"Wh...what things?"he climbed into the bed next to Taehyung.
"Well... you know..."
"I don't..."
"It's okay... we are both tired, so...let's sleep."
"Hyung?"
"Yeah?"
"Could you... could you hold me instead?"
Taehyung smiled and wrapped his arms around the younger one, who became the little spoon. "Like this?"he whispered into Jungkook's ear.
"I just wanted to know how it feels..."he said under his breath. He has never experienced being held like this.
"Well then, how does it feel?"
"N... nice"he closed his eyes.
Taehyung placed his hand on Jungkook's chest and nuzzled his nape. "How does this feel?"he moved his hand lower onto Jungkook's stomach.
"Warm."
Taehyung kissed his the back of his neck. "And this?"he sneaked his hand even lower, below his belly button.
Jungkook could feel his heart beating fast, his breath hitched. "Nice,"his whole body felt like it was on fire.
"Would you...want me to continue?"Taehyung whispered.
Jungkook nodded, and tightly shut his eyes.
Taehyung kissed the back of his neck again and pressed his body into his. Then, he moved his hand very slowly.
"Is this okay?"
Jungkook nodded again, he could feel on his neck, that Taehyung's breathing was getting faster too. His heart was beating like crazy at this point.
Taehyung moved his hand over the waistband of his sweatpants and touched his crotch. Jungkook let out a quiet moan.
"You know Jungkookie...I love this kind of exploration."
Jungkook pressed his lips tightly together. The moan, that escaped his mouth terrified him. Why does it feel so good?!
"And I can tell that you love it too, don't you?"Taehyung slowly stroked his hard length.
Jungkook couldn't answer, he couldn't think... This shouldn't feel so good...
"But you know what I would love even more?"Taehyung's voice was deep and silky smooth.
Jungkook erratically shook his head.
"I would love to hear baby boy moan again,"he moved his hand up and down.
Jungkook clenched his thighs and bit his lips, trying to be quiet.
"Oh, he won't give me the pleasure of hearing that...What a bad boy..."
Jungkook grabbed the sheets and tried his best to not react.
"He loves to make his hyung frustrated... But bad boys deserve to be punished..."he slipped his hand under Jungkook's clothes, getting a good grip and continued doing up and down motions.
Jungkook couldn't hold it anymore, a mixture of a moan and some kind of plead escaped his mouth.
"What was it?"Taehyung asked.
"Don't..."
"You want me to go faster? Okay then..."he nibbled Jungkook's neck.
"No..."he moaned.
"You say no, but your body says otherwise."
"I don't..."
"Perhaps... baby boy would want me to try my mouth instead..."
"No..."
Lightning struck somewhere close and Taehyung flinched. He took his hand away. Jungkook quickly came to his senses, trying to slow down his heart.
"Are you... okay, hyung?"he asked, trying to slow down his breathing. He turned other way, to face Taehyung.
"Yeah...Sorry about that..."
"I'm here...there's nothing to fear."
Taehyung ruffled his hair and smiled. "I'm so lucky," he kissed his forehead, nose and lips.
Jungkook blushed,"I'm tired, hyung."
"Yeah, it's really late..."
"Hyung?"
"Yes?"
"Were you doing all those things...spending time with me, talking to me, just because my mom had asked you to?"
"Of course not, Kookie. You are so smart, but sometimes you are such a pabo..."
"Are you telling the truth?"
"Yes."
"Have you... have you cancelled the tickets?"
"No, not yet."
"I want to go... if it's with you, hyung... I want to go. I would go with you anywhere..."
"Really?"
"As long as I'm with hyung, I'm happy no matter where we go."
"Are you telling the truth?"
"Yes,"he wrapped his arms around Taehyung. "I can't stand you crying, I want to cry instead."
"Then I'll make sure to not cry again. I hate seeing tears on your pretty face."
"What are you talking about, hyung...I never cry."
"Oh right...Busan men don't cry."
"Never."
Taehyung laughed and turned the lamp on his nightstand off. "Thank you for staying here."
"Thank you for letting me,"he hugged his hyung tighter.
"Good night, Kookie."
"Good night, Tae," he grabbed his hand, gave him a kiss and closed his eyes.