Neighbor|Taekook - Chapter 24: Chapter 24

"What's wrong, baby?" Taehyung immediately pulled Jungkook up, to sit on the couch.
Jungkook covered his face with his hands, tears falling down his cheeks.
"Shhh, don't cry,"Taehyung wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. He rubbed his back gently to comfort him,"come on, tell me what's wrong?"
"Why did you do that?"Jungkook whimpered against Taehyung's chest.
"Did I hurt you? I'm sorry..."he brushed through his hair with his long fingers and planted a kiss on top of his head.
"I have rhinitis, I can't breathe well through my nose, and I couldn't breathe through my mouth either...because of you..."
What the fuck? Why am I crying?! This is so embarrassing...God, I was trying to be in control of everything and then he... Did he get annoyed, because I was in control of the situation? Does he not like that? He really lost his patience with me teasing him like that...Still, it can be considered like it was a part of the plan...But, I have no excuse for crying, seriously I hate myself now...
"Aigoo, I didn't know that...You should've told me! I could've seriously hurt you!"
"Well how was I supposed to? Do you think it's easy to talk when you have a penis in your mouth?"he finally managed to stop the sobs.
"I'm sorry Jungkookie, I don't know what happened to me...I'm usually not this reckless, but you...you really drive me crazy..."
Jungkook wordlessly stood up and walked away to wash his mouth and face in the kitchen sink. He returned and sat beside Taehyung. "I...actually, didn't hate it..."he blushed.
"I assume this was the first..."
Jungkook just shrugged and looked down.
"You don't have to pretend, Jungkookie..."Taehyung reached out for him again, embracing him in his arms.
"I was only joking about the experienced part, obviously..."
"Well I kind of assume that a boy, who get shy just from a simple peck on the lips is not going to have a lot of experience with giving blowjobs..."
Jungkook buried his face in his chest, he felt like his ears were getting red too.
"You did great,"Taehyung scooped him up and made him sit in his lap,"but why did you cry, pabo?"
Jungkook's eyes were still red, so were his cheeks and so were his swollen lips, his hair was even messier than when he had woken up. "I don't know, I guess I got overwhelmed...I...I thought, that I could do this easily...and prove you that I'm..."
"That you're what?"Taehyung was gently stroking his hair and playing with it.
"I sometimes think, that you see me as a silly little boy, who's constantly lost and confused and knows nothing about life..."
"And you wanted to prove me otherwise, by sucking me off? You really are silly..."
"Don't worry hyung, you won't ever get sucked by me again,"Jungkook pushed his hand away.
"Ah, baby Kookie is offended now...But, I love when he pouts..."
"Shut up!"
"Then shut me up,"he smirked.
Jungkook leaned closer and kissed him,"I really didn't hate it..."he whispered against his lips.
Taehyung nuzzled his nose,"so do you like it when I'm a bit more rough?"
"I think so..."
What am I saying?! I hated it...or maybe not...I definitely did not hate it...Ah, I'm screwed...
"Do you prefer it rough overall?"
"What?"
"Sex...do you like it rough or just vanilla?"
"Uhh...I...I don't have a preference..."
"Okay..."
"Wh...what about you, hyung?"he put his head in the crook of his neck.
"I like it either way, but with you...I feel like I wouldn't be able to hold back..."
"Am I...hyung's weakness?"
"You're not supposed to know that!"Taehyung poked him and giggled.
I can't believe it...a guy like him...and a guy like me... What does he see in me?
"You...you've done it with a guy before?"
Taehyung nodded.
"And...girl...with a girl?"
Taehyung nodded again.
Jungkook looked at him surprised,"even though you aren't into girls?"
"It was when I was younger, experimenting and trying to figure things out..."
"Oh..."
"I liked it actually...I thought that sex with a girl is great. This is going to sound bad, but that was probably the only reason why I was set on dating girls for such a long time..."
"You told me today, that you felt bad for dating girls and not having any feelings for them, yet you were fine with dating them, just because of sex?"
"I've never said, that I'm a good person, Jungkookie...I try to be one, but I've made mistakes in the past..."
Haven't we all... Can I call myself a good person?
"Hyung, I know you keep saying that, and I often say that you are a bad influence, but I really think you're a good person...You've been too good to me..."
"There's no such thing as being too good."
Jungkook sighed,"so you were breaking girls' hearts when you were younger..."
"It wasn't intentional...I really liked doing it with girls, I thought that the sex was awesome. It was until I first did it with a guy...it was...mind blowing...and quite life changing."
"C...can you promise me something, hyung?"
"What is it?"
"I know I'd told you, that you can only kiss me from now on, but I also..."he couldn't finish his words and hid his face in Taehyung's shirt.
I really shouldn't be saying this. I have no right to say this...But, he needs to know, how I feel...
"Ah, why so shy, Jungkookie?"
"I don't want you to sleep with other guys,"he choked out, blushing like crazy.
Taehyung chest rumbled with a deep chuckle,"you really are a silly little boy..."he hugged Jungkook tighter. "Do you really think, that I would do that? Sometimes, I really don't understand your thought processes..."
"I'm just surprised, because you'd told me that you don't have any friends or girlfriend or anything like that and suddenly you mention some Hoseok hyung and other friends and other guys and other girls and I'm confused and I want you to kiss and hug and hold hands and look at no one else, but me."
I did not just say that...God, why am I like this?!
Taehyung laughed again and ruffled Jungkook's hair,"you're the prettiest boy around and of course I'm going to do all those things just with you...no one else."
"You have to promise the other thing too..."
"I promise I won't sleep with anyone...guys or girls."
"It doesn't mean, that you can do it with me, but you can't do it with others."
"Anything the baby boy wants...Besides, I haven't done that in a really long time..."
"Good."
"You are getting quite possessive, Jungkookie."
I can't help it...
"Shut up..."
"It's cute."
"Hyung is my weakness too..."
"I can tell,"he poked him again, which provoked Jungkook to wrestle with him for a while, laughing and giggling.
"Have you ever been in love, hyung?"Jungkook asked after they both got tired.
"Yes."
Why do I hate that?
"Okay..."
"By the way, I may not be a good person, but I have good manners and I think it's important, that when someone does you a favor, you return it...So Jungkookie, would you want me to..."
"It wasn't a favor..."
I actually really wanted to do it... I guess that's it, I'm into guys now...
"You are so sweet, I want to hold you like this forever and never let you go..."
Suddenly, Jungkook realized, that all good things come to an end and nothing lasts forever. With Taehyung, he was so happy, he was his universe...But his life was mainly outside this universe. And what was on the outside, wasn't a happy place at all.
"This will end tomorrow... We won't be able to spend time together like this..."
"Tomorrow...we are not limited by the flow of time... Paradise flashes across the time, it exists in moments, in connection..."
"You mean...spending time with me is equivalent to a paradise for you?"
"Possibly even more..."
He felt his heart clenching and his eyes watering. No one has ever cared this much about him, no one has ever given him this much attention. And he has never made any other person this happy.
"Hyung...I don't want you to get hurt...You know, that...there might be complications...We can keep this secret, but what if something goes wrong? And we...we won't be able to...continue...this."
"You worry about me getting hurt...There's no need..."
"You said, that being with me is like a paradise...I don't have a word in my vocabulary to describe what it is to me, I don't know enough...maybe my entire existence isn't enough to comprehend. I can hear your heartbeat now and I want to cry again, I don't know why... You'd said that your heart beats for me...I really don't know enough...But what I know, is that I would rather get hurt million times, just so you won't, hyung."
"You are so precious, Jungkookie...let's just hope none of us gets hurt..."
"I'll do whatever it takes to protect you,"he kissed him on the cheek.
They spent rest of the day together, just talking, cuddling and eating. It got dark early in the afternoon and Jungkook went back to his place to change his clothes, before going to the cinema in the evening. He met up with Taehyung after a quick dinner and both of them went outside, holding hands. The city was noticeably more crowded, with people returning back from the holidays. It no longer seemed like the whole city belonged to them. With more people around, Jungkook felt like there was also more stares.
"Hyung, is it really okay, if we hold hands in public?"
"It's dark, nobody can see..."
The streets were also full of younger people and students, enjoying their last few days before returning to school on Tuesday. Most shops, restaurants and bars were already opened, like on any other time of the year and many took the opportunity to finish celebrating Chuseok, by drinking alcohol.
"I wasn't expecting so many people outside..."Jungkook moved closer to Taehyung, as they were making their way through the crowd.
"They are here just to get drunk."
"How much longer do we have to walk? I really don't like crowded places like this...l
"We'll be there in a minute, don't worry,"Taehyung moved a little bit in front of Jungkook, to male a path for him, in the sea of people.
Jungkook was holding Taehyung's hand tightly, getting anxious because of the large mass of people, loud noises and shouting. Someone passing by, bumped into his shoulder, almost knocking him down. He looked back seeing a group of guys, roughly the same age as him.
"Look where you're going," one of them shouted.
Jungkook stopped and apologized,"s..sorry, I didn't..."
"Don't talk to them hyung, you'll catch the disease," another guy from the group shouted to the first guy and laughed.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"the first guy yelled.
"Can't you see, hyung? They are fucking homos!"
Jungkook looked at him in disbelief, he felt the blood in his veins freeze, completely shocked, air knocked out of his lungs. He immediately let go off Taehyung's hand, shaking it off like it was something disgusting. The words were echoing over and over, he wanted to run away, but his body was stuck.
"Come,"he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Just ignore them..."
He quickly turned away, too scared to look back and followed Taehyung, who outstretched his hand to him, but he did not accept it. His heart was beating fast, the words still echoing, he could barely hear the crowd.
"They were drunk, Jungkookie..."they finally got to the cinema.
"What does it matter?!"Jungkook's voice was serious.
"You should just forget about it..."
"Forget about it?! How could I?! Just because they were drunk, doesn't mean, that what that guy said wasn't..."his blood was now boiling instead of freezing.
"Wasn't the truth?"
"You...you're okay? You're okay with this?"
"It's not the first time, something like this has happened to me..."
That is unacceptable...
Jungkook quickly paced over to the box office, bought two tickets to a first movie he saw on the list, he didn't care anymore, his mood was ruined. "Do you want popcorn?"he asked Taehyung, more aggressively, than he was intending. Taehyung sighed and shook his head.
They barely spoke during the movie, Jungkook wasn't even focusing on the movie itself. Is this how I have to live from now on? Ashamed of who I am? Why? Am I abnormal?! Do I really have a disease? People are disgusted...and I should probably be too...I knew it...I knew succumbing to these feelings would only complicate my life...Ruin my life...what if I'm just confused? I was so sure, that this is how it's meant to be, I was just getting comfortable in my own skin, but maybe I was wrong...
Taehyung gently tapped him on the shoulder,"the movie is over."
"Sorry, I spaced out..."
They walked out in silence, it was already late at night and the streets were a little bit less crowded. The air was cold, but fresh and Jungkook felt like he could breathe better, without all those people bumping into him.
"Jungkookie..."Taehyung started.
Jungkook, despite everything, despite all the turmoil inside him, despite the whole universe telling him to just let go, he did the opposite. His hand found Taehyung's large and warm hand.
"Does this happen often to you?"
"I'm used to it..."his voice was sad.
Used to it? Something like this should not even happen in the first place... He's probably encountered this so many times...How fucked up, is that?!
The younger one leaned closer, their shoulders touching. "My heart hurts...It hurts for you, hyung... I could get over it myself, but when you get hurt, I can't take it..."his voice broke.
"I told you, I'm used to it,"Taehyung put his arm around his waist.
"Then, why is your voice so sad?"
"Because, people like us don't have it easy...And that is very sad..."
They were passing through an area, which was still full of people even this late. Jungkook heard some more shouts. Not again...please not this again... His grip on Taehyung's hand loosened. He closed his eyes and let Taehyung lead him, however that didn't stop all the voices around. And all the people staring at them and judging them...He wanted to disappear, he wanted those voice to be gone and those shouts...
"Filthy fags, you don't belong here!" the voice pierced his ears.
He opened his eyes, panic overtaking him. Nothing can be done...
"Together, we can get through anything...together we are strong,"Taehyung's voice was calm, his hand so warm and comforting.
"Together?"Jungkook merely whispered.
"Yes, you and me...remember? I protect you, you protect me..."
Yes, I remember...I need to protect you...and there's probably only one way to do this... He could feel his heart breaking.
"Stop being delusional, hyung."
"Huh?"
"We are not together, and never will be."
After that, he ran off into the night, leaving Taehyung behind.