NIRELLE - Chapter 10: Chapter 10

"Doctor?" I call out when we have been in the room silent for a while. I feel like she needs to tell me what was wrong with me, if there was anything wrong. Strangely, I might’ve been more worried if she’d said I was fine. Too much damage has already been done. A lot of harm that I would want to forget as quickly as I can. I do expect Lucien to make it down, I think, and maybe a bit sure that the staff would be back later with news that he can't make it, not after he had run out on me earlier.
"Yes, Mrs Vexley." She seems so comfortable and even almost accustomed to the name, more than I would ever be. I can tell that she is stalling for Lucien before she can tell me anything, but I want to know what is wrong. Her face does not look encouraging, almost like she is about to deliver the worst news ever.
"If there is something wrong with me, don't you think the first person to know should be me?" I am sure she is just following orders, but still, shouldn't I be at least respected? As the thoughts cross my mind, I almost laugh at myself. A few hours ago, I did not even know that the word respect existed, and all of a sudden, I want a woman I had met a few minutes ago to dish it out on a plate and serve it to me.
"Of course, but it's all protocol." I knew it would be hard to extract any information from her. Even if she were to tell me anything, she would want to wait for Lucien to get there.
I sigh as I sink back into the sofa. What was taking him so long, I wonder, as my eyes dart to the door? I want him in there as quickly as possible so peace can rest back into my stormy mind. Before he actually appears in my line of sight, I can feel his presence. I know it's kind of ridiculous, but it is almost like he was exuding something substantial that could not be ignored.
"Mr Vexley", Mae said as she watched him walk towards us.
"Mae, you made it." His voice is a bit cordial. It's like this woman is someone he knows personally enough to be friendly with. "How are Mark and the kids?" he asks, sounding very much human.
"I made it because you asked," Mae responds with a smile. "And the kids are doing fine; they cried when I dropped them off and dashed here, but don't worry about it; I am sure Mark has it covered."
"Well, my love to them." I look at Lucien speaking, and I am convinced that an alien must have abducted him. How is this the same name that has tales of him out on the street? He is a legend, and here he is sending his love to the children of his doctor. I want to desperately know what the relationship between them is; there has to be some kind of backstory but with how Mae had been so secretive about something regarding me, I am definitely sure she would not talk about the relationship between them, and neither would Lucien—not after he had basically sprinted out of the dining room earlier tonight. I thought for sure he was not going to come, but he did, so maybe my predictions are the worst kinds.
"You asked to see me; what is this about? Is it serious?" Lucien asked, not facing me at any point. They both acted as if I were not even in the room with them.
"I can't be absolutely sure, and I think that she should come in for more tests, but I think there might be a problem with her."
"What kind of problem?" Lucien asked before I could process to ask. The thought that something could be wrong shouldn't shock me, but still I can't help but feel shock overwhelm me. How could something break? Was God really that cruel? Why on earth would he try to punish me by allowing something to go wrong with me while those who caused this just stand there triumphantly with nothing wrong?
"Seems like fertility issues to me." I don't want to talk about anything that has to do with sex, but hearing that something might be wrong with me down there made me feel sad. Why did I feel sad when I had promised myself I was not going to have kids? Shouldn't I be happy that God answered one prayer at least? Why does it feel so damn painful?
"What do you mean?" I ask, standing up from the sofa, finally cutting through the conversation going back and forth between them. "Are you saying that I am infertile?" I chose out sadly. I guess no matter what it is, it was heartbreaking to hear that you might be sick.
"I can't be sure; that's why I need you to come in for a test," Mae responds, and I want to hit her across the face. I know it is wrong, but still I want to. Why did she have to wait to see Lucien before she told me about it? If I had known a bit earlier, I could have composed myself for when he got to hear the news, but now all I can see from him is shock, clearly written on his face.
"I just needed you to know, sir." She is clearly speaking to Lucien again. "In case you both are trying to try for babies," the thought of why she was doing this broke my heart. I look at her face and admit, obviously, she only means well; maybe she was not close enough with him to know the circumstances of the marriage, and that was why she was acting this way. Just doing her job as a doctor.
"So if you would come in for a test tomorrow, I can make sure to..."
"I won't come in," I say, and this is not a rushed or impulsive decision. I don't want to have kids in case I birth someone as weak as I am, and then I, in turn, turn out like my mother.
"What?" Lucien looks at me and shakes his head. "You have to go." It sounded like he was not sure whether this was a command or not
"I won't go; this is my body, and I do not want to know what is wrong, even if there is anything wrong, and also I do not want to try and make it better."
"Do you understand the implication of what you are saying?" Mae cuts through. Her voice is steady, and I am sure she must be thinking that I am a nutjob, but this is just one of the ways I can make sure my message is passed along. "You might not be able to have kids or even have complications while pregnant."
"Then that is the best."