NIRELLE - Chapter 46: Chapter 46

I had cried more than I thought I would. It had been a while since I let someone overwhelm me as such. Since I decided to stop letting the Thamore family feed on my pain. I knew not to cry again, especially in front of them, and as I began to learn how to suppress my emotions, it became easier to deal with them. Why did this thing with Lucien tick me off more than it was supposed to?
I had seen the video of Theo with Cassian, and none of it made sense. There was no other person in the restaurant with us, and it looked as if someone had used a phone to record it and not the CCTV. That means that it had been properly created to divert attention, and this must have been done by Cassian.
Who else would do such a thing? He was the only one with the power in that room, but why would he? I wanted to call him and ask why, but all I could think of was Lucien. He must be asleep, but I couldn't sleep because I was worried about what this would do to his image.
"Cassian had nothing to gain by exposing a fight against him in his mom's restaurant to the world, but he did. The staff who had been standing around must have been one of them who recorded this. This was my fault; if I had not wanted to tick Lucien off, I would not have had to sit with him at the table, and I would not have had Theo come in to take me out, and all of that wouldn't have happened.
I walk into the closet and take a robe, wrapping it around my body. I begin to wander the halls and find myself at Lucien's door. He must be sleeping, but I want to talk to him; it was my turn to apologise, and I did not want to sweep it under the carpet. I had to take full responsibility for my actions.
I stand by the door and whisper twice, and then the door flies open. I show him the video, but he does not even look at it twice.
"You look cold; do you want to come in?" he asked. He did not sound angry at what I had allowed to happen; he sounded more grounded, as if he was used to this happening to him, and it broke my heart the more.
My eyes dart around the unfamiliar and dimly lit room before I take a step in. I swallowed the knot that had formed in my throat and stood with the door now closed behind me.
"You do not have to worry about that," he said as if we were talking about how I threw his pencil away. I press my lips together and shake my head.
"I caused this." He looks like he did not believe me, and I did not need him to. I knew what I had done and my role in making all of this happen.
"Theo should have controlled his anger with people watching. If people see, then these things are bound to happen." I begin to wonder if he and Theo are as close as they say they are, or maybe Theo was just keeping this away from him because he did not think it would turn into an issue.
"There was no one else at the restaurant; I think Cassian staged all of this." I could not believe that I was pointing fingers at him without any concrete proof, but with how everything had gone, it was obvious that he was the one behind it all.
"It was strange because he rented out the entire restaurant, and he refused to let the bodyguards come in; it was just us and the staff. Theo almost had a freeway in. He did not argue with anyone guarding the door; it was almost as if they knew he was coming." I stopped and let out a loud gasp, realising that even though I do not know what was between Lucien and Cassian. Cassian had planned every detail of this.
If the restaurant was truly rented out, then Theo would not have had a free entrance into the room. "Lucien, I am deeply sorry; I should have listened instead of trying to get back at you for something as stupid as this," I say, taking one step back after the other until my back hits the wall behind me.
"I did not think that Cassian was also this manipulative or that he..." I trail off as I realise my luck in life. Was I cursed to only have men who wanted to use me as a tool around me?
"This is not your fault," he said, and I saw that he meant it, but I could not help but think that he was a good actor and this was him trying to get me to relax. "I mean it, Cassian was the one who did all of this; you had no part, so don't even try to think of what you could have done differently. If you knew his intentions, then you would not have fallen for whatever plot he had."
I instantly feel so stupid for all I had done. I look at Lucien, and for some reason, all of the emotions in it are foreign. He looks like he needs comfort, and I was pouring all of my trauma on him.
"I should not have come here." I know I can't give him what he wants, so I am ready to run away, but he stops me. His hand is holding mine tightly as he stares at me.
"I want to apologise," he said, closing his eyes tightly for a second before they flared open. It is only then that I realise how red they were. "I am sorry; I should not have pushed you that far. I do not know a lot of things about how to care for you or do the right things, so I need you to tell me what I have to do."
I want to tell him that I also do not know how I am supposed to let him take care of me. I nod gently, hoping that we both figure it out.
"Am I forgiven?" he asked, and I replied with a nod because my voice was suddenly hitched in my throat for reasons unknown to me. "Come, I'll walk you back to your room," he said, his hand reaching for the door. I let him hold my hand as we walked through the corridors, turning and moving silently. We finally stop at my door, and his hands fall to the side, and I miss the feeling, even though I can't describe the feeling. I take a step forward and smile at him.
"Good night, Lucien."
He takes a step back and nods. "Good night, . See you tomorrow."
I step into the room and close the door, but for a moment I can still feel his presence on the other side, and I stand still.