NIRELLE - Chapter 56: Chapter 56

The feeling of his lips on mine is not like Enoch's rough and unpleasant lips. These are warm and different, and I don't know if it is in a good way, but I do not pull away. I am not sure what my reaction is supposed to be, but I let my hands dangle by my side uselessly as his hand holds onto my waist so tightly. I do not kiss back because I am more startled than angry at him at this point.
This was the first time I had someone touch me, and it did not feel weird; it did not make my skin crawl the way I was used to. He finally pulls away his head, hovering over mine and making me aware of how tall he is in that moment. I search his eyes, and I can tell he had not planned this, even though I can't say what could have prompted him to do this in this moment. I feel his chest rise and fall so rapidly that it is almost in tune with mine.
"," he calls my name so gently that it feels earned. I have to say something; I am now beating myself up in my mind, but I can't bear to even tell him off. I feel as if it would break my heart to do that.
"Why?" I manage to choke out, his eyebrow furrows, and I can tell he knows what my why is about. "Why did you do this?" I am trying to build the boundaries I had created when I first arrived here, but it feels like I am building my house with straws.
"Why did I kiss you?" he asked, and I nodded, still so close to him I don't know why I had not jerked back already. "I don't know," he responds, and that was not what I wanted to hear, but at least he was honest with me.
I clear my throat and take a step back. "I'd better get to my room." I am still speaking, but my legs are already touching the back of my head as I flee the scene, leaving him all alone in there. I am afraid that if I stay for even a second more, then I will ask for another kiss.
As I sit on the bed, I am not that worried that he was down there, regretting what had happened. I should be angry at him, but why could I not find it in me to be angry? I am still trying to pin a handle on one of the emotions raging on the inside of me when I hear a knock on the door.
I am eager to open it, but my excitement dies when I see Mara standing by the door. Why did I think he would have come after me? What was he supposed to say if he came to my door? Apologise? I did not want him to apologise, but I did not think coming closer was the best thing for now.
"Mrs. Vexley, Mr. Vexley said to bring up your phone." I took the phone from her and flashed her a smile. I want it to be genuine, but it feels too forced. She bows and walks away as if she did not notice that something was wrong. I am sure that even if I try to consult her, she would shut me out and tell me that I was not her friend.
I scroll until I land on Lucien's number. My finger hovers over it, ready to call him. I know it is strange that I want to call instead of walking down to meet him, but maybe talking over the phone would break the barrier and make it less awkward. I stare at the screen for a while before I decide that sending a text message might be better.
'Are we good?' I sent the text and waited. I saw the message get read and waited for a response, but none came. Now I am getting scared. What does this mean between us?
I am still trying to understand what was happening when Cassian's call came through. I pick because I am still trying to put on an act.
"Hello , it seems you've been busy all day." Those were the first words out of his mouth.
"I had a little to do here and there," I murmur, my mind still wondering why Lucien was not replying.
"So I have a private luncheon this evening, and I want you to come. Your husband prefers shadows, but I know you… You're meant for the light.”
I know he is trying to put me in a tough spot, so I nod. "I will ask Lucien and get back to you."
"Okay then, I will wait for your response." He does not sound too pleased that I was putting him off to ask Lucien, but this was to teach him a lesson.
I muster all of the courage I can get and walk to Lucien's room. I knock on the door and wait for him to come to it. He looks stunned to see me there. "Can we just forget what has happened?" I ask, not meaning it; in fact, I want him to say that was a bad idea and that we should iron it out, but it never came. He agreed with a fake smile and let me in.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, and I walked into the room with my hands joined together as I turned to face him, his hand still on the door handle.
"Cassian called me," I say, and he looks at me with a sorry expression on his face.
"I did not mean that you had to..."
"He asked me to come for a private luncheon at his place. He says he wants to invite you, but since you wouldn't make any public appearances, I should go in your stead." I sat cutting him off before he could dwell in self-blame.
"Oh."
"Do you want me to go?" I want to ask him why he had ignored my message earlier, but I do not. I want to inch closer and try to kiss him again to see if I would hate it this time, but I can't. I just stand there rooted, waiting for him to make a decision.
"Do you want to?"
"I won't go if you don't want me to. To be honest, I don't think it would be a good fit for me."
"It's a different thing if you don't want to go, but to say you don't fit in there is a big mistake." He finally moves from the door towards me. I stare at him as he walks to me. "You would be the one who fits in the most there; don't underestimate yourself at all," he adds, and that builds some kind of conflicted confidence within me.
"So should I go?"
"I would tell Theo to go with you." I want to ask him why he can't go with me and how I would want him to, but maybe it is too soon to ask him to take his advice, so I nod and turn to leave the room.
"," he calls, stopping me, and I turn to him. "I don't regret it." I see his hand try to reach for me, but before I can register it, it is gone.