No Turning Back - Chapter 23: Chapter 23

It's kind of funny, ya know, the way you think you know something so well but it comes to turn out that you didn't know much about it at all. I used to think that I knew all about happiness – true, genuine happiness. I used to think that I was truly happy all the time. I thought I had found the one thing everyone tried so hard to find through my sports, my old girlfriends and my academic activities. I thought that I had been lucky to be so happy in doing things so simple. Yet, little did I know that the giddy feelings I used to get were nowhere near close to the true definition of true happiness. Those blissful emotions were nowhere near the amount of happiness that I felt now that Jayden was thrown into the mix of my life.
Before we had gotten together I will admit that I was happy with my life and my activities but I have to confess that I was nowhere near as happy as I had been since we'd started dating. Before, the basketball games I would play in didn't make me feel as excited or proud as I did when I look out at the bleachers now and see my boyfriend sitting there with his little sisters and his tiny smile on his face. My old girlfriends in the past never made me feel as warm and fuzzy and bashful when they were around like Jayden does – but he doesn't even have to be around to make me feel that way. I would get butterflies in my stomach just from the sight of a simple text from him. Even getting my perfect scores on test didn't make me feel as good as it does now when I get to tell Jayden and I get to see his emerald eyes shine with proud. Then, I would get rewarded with small dinner dates and movie nights with him all because of a good grade. Note that the dates would usually be often since I never fell off my game with studying and such.
Over the past couple of weeks, I could feel myself becoming a happier person. I could feel myself starting to feel comfortable as the mental suffocation faded away. I could feel myself falling in love...something of which I will admit that I am a bit shocked at. I'd never expected to have a relationship with Jayden or even being friends with him honestly. So, this whole new, stronger emotion that I felt growing for him felt a bit strange. I mean, I guess that's also because it was stronger than any other emotion I'd held for any of my girlfriends before. I will confess that I'd never really thought I'd been in love with anyone before so I didn't exactly know what falling in love or being in love felt like. So, when my emotions started to grow so strong and so rapidly, I was caught off guard. I knew that love was a strong, overpowering emotion that could be either a curse or a bless depending on the circumstances. I knew that love could hurt like hell if things were to end badly between two people. I knew that I would hurt more than just like hell if I let Jayden get too close to me. But, somehow, I didn't care about the hurt I was going to feel if we didn't work out. A part of me didn't even want to let that thought enter my mind. I was having so much fun with him and I wanted to enjoy the sensations he was giving me. I wanted to enjoy falling in love with him.
I wanted to keep getting lost in his emerald eyes. I wanted to keep getting butterflies from his tiny smile. I wanted to keep getting shivers down my spine whenever I heard his strongly accented voice. I wanted to keep being fascinated by the shape of his muscular body and his beautifully detailed tattoos. I wanted to keep molding him as perfect in my eyes. Jayden may think that he was far from perfect but to me he was exactly what I'd pictured it as. He was smart, kind, brave, funny, and very good looking. I could only wonder why he couldn't see that. I also couldn't help but wonder if he felt the same way about me.
I did remember when Jayden had kissed me for that second time and we had that small argument in the closet of his uncle's restaurant. I remember telling him that his feelings weren't that serious since he wasn't in love with me and I remember him replying that he was very close to being there though. Although that does feel like it was forever ago, it actually wasn't that long ago. A month or two maybe – not even that at my best bet. Anyway, I was kind of hoping that Jayden did reach that point that he was close to. Since he wasn't the most emotional guy I was expecting that I wouldn't really know how he felt for a while. I mean, even now he still has some of his ice wall up. He doesn't give off too much emotion nor does he like being vulnerable around me. I didn't feel hurt by it since I had to consider his background and the kind of person that he was. Just because we were dating didn't mean that he would be spilling his guts to me all the time. He wasn't the type of person to do that. Hell, he didn't even really like talking to me about his problems. He just hid his bruises from me and gave me fake smiles. While he may not be the guy who talked about everything going on in his life I could tell from his actions that he did really care about me and that's all that really mattered.
I jumped out of my thoughts when I heard my phone buzz on my dresser. At the moment, I was getting dressed to go to Jayden's tournament today. He's had a couple more in the past few weeks and I've been going to support him along with his dad and Bethany. The one that was happening today was the one before the semi-finals which apparently meant that he was going to have two fights in one day. Sure, I knew that he would do well in his fights as he always did but I still was a bit worried about his body's condition afterwards. Jayden may win his fights but that doesn't mean that the other guy doesn't mess him up pretty good. Usually, after his tournaments, he would be tired and sore. I always helped tend to his bruises and other small wounds. I would usually give him a long massage after cleaning him up and then hold him until he fell asleep. I couldn't wait to do that tonight. We hadn't really gotten to see much of each other this past week since he was training and I was busy with school stuff. A night alone together would do the both of us some good.
I grabbed my phone to see that I had gotten a text from my boyfriend asking if I was still coming. I sent him a quick reply back that I was about to be on my way there before I hurried to run a brush through my hair and dash out of my room. As I walked quickly down the hallway, I passed my sister's room door that was cracked open a little bit. I glanced in there to see that she was standing in front of her tall mirror with a sorrowful look on her face. I stopped in my tracks as I stared at her. We hadn't exactly talked much ever since both of our little secrets. We both weren't home a lot and we barely saw each other at school so I never found any real time to sit down and talk to her about her pregnancy. I know that I should have made time like a good big brother but I also didn't want to push information out of her. She would talk when she was ready. I knew that fact all too well.
"You alright," I asked as I pushed the door open a little more and walked inside. Ashley turned around quickly, looking at me with wide green, fearful eyes. She was wearing a pair of sweats and a tank top, her small hands on top of her still flat stomach. I smiled softly at her to give her reassurance. Ashley began to give me a nervous smile as I lightly shut the door behind me.
"Hey Danny," she said softly. "I'm fine."
"Do you want to talk?"
"Aren't you going somewhere," she asked as she took her hands off of her stomach and crossed her arms. I shrugged as I shoved my hands in my pockets.
"I've always got time for you, Ashley. You know that." Ashley's nervous smile brightened a little bit before she looked down and it started to fade.
"Honestly, I don't know what there is to talk about. I mean, there won't be anything to talk about soon enough." I raised an eyebrow.
"What do you mean?" Her slim arms tightened a bit more around her small figure.
"Well, my boyfriend doesn't exactly want the baby. He...he wants me to get an abortion." She glanced up at me, silently waiting for the big brother wrath that she was about to receive. I didn't know that she had a boyfriend nor did I know before the pregnancy that she wasn't a virgin. Honestly, when she first told me that she was pregnant I thought that she might have gotten drunk at wherever homecoming party she disappeared to and slept with some random guy. Sure, her having a boyfriend makes it seem a little bit better but hell knows how old the guy is and if he really cares about my sister. If he was asking her to get rid of the baby then I had to question his intentions with her. Was he really looking out for her benefit or did he just not want a kid and baby momma to tie him down? My thoughts also drifted towards an abortion itself. While I'd never had any really emotion towards it, I have done a project on it in the past that gave me a detailed picture of what exactly it was. Although my parents would freak out if they ever thought she was pregnant, I'd rather have them flip out then to have Ashley's unborn baby be violated in that way.
"Sit down," I said after a moment. Ashley did as I told her and sat down on her bed. She kept her eyes trained to the floor as I took a seat next to her. "You wanna tell me exactly what happened with all of this?"
"Where am I even supposed to begin," Ashley asked.
"You can start by telling me who this boyfriend of yours is and how you met him."
"Okay... Um, his name is Adriano. He lives on the west side of town and he goes to the public school down there. He's a senior, like you. I met him at a party two years ago. He's a really nice guy. I promise. He's not like the usual people I hang around. He's just a rebel child like me is all."
"Do I even need to ask how and when you got pregnant?" She shrugged.
"I won't lie to you, Danny. We've been having sex together for about a year now but we've always used protection. After the homecoming game in October, we just got drunk and got a little carried away. We didn't mean for things to turn out the way they did. That's why he thinks it's better that I just get rid of it. Then neither of our families will flip out and we can just go back to normal."
"He didn't give you some weird ultimatum where if you didn't get an abortion then he would leave or anything, did he?" She shook her head.
"He told me that he supports whatever decision I choose but he prefers that I get an abortion. He told me that he loves me and he wouldn't let me go through this alone. He's just scared...we both are." I sighed and wrapped my arm around my little sister. I pulled her into a tight hug.
"I understand," I told her. She curled up into my embrace, turning into the small girl that she is on the inside.
"Maybe an abortion would be better though," she said. "Mom and dad would never know and things would be okay."
"I don't know, Ashley. Just...just think it over some more, alright? And just know that I'm here for you no matter what you decide to do."
"Thank you," she said. She tilted her head up to smile up at me. "That means a lot. Now, go on, I don't want to make you late for wherever you're heading off to." I shot her a smile back before I kissed her forehead and got up.
"I love you," I told her as I edged towards the door.
"I love you too, big brother," she said. I shot her another soft smile before I walked out of her room. I hurried out the house and drove quickly to the stadium where Jayden's match was at. Although I wanted to be more than concerned about Ashley, I knew that I couldn't worry too much. I had faith that she would make the decision that worked for her and I wouldn't stand in her way no matter what that decision was. I would just stand by her side as the support that she needs. Maybe after this whole pregnancy situation, she might change her ways and actually just be good for a little while. Fat chance but it's a good thought.
"Daniel, there you are," Bethany said as she bounced up to me. I was walking up into the main area of the stadium where most of the concession stands and doors to the seats were. The smaller girl was dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans, a fitted black shirt that had a leather jacket thrown over it, and a pair of black high heel combat boots. Her eyes were outlined in black and her lips were frosted in a soft red. Her dark hair fell around her in soft waves. I had to admit that Bethany was a very pretty girl. I'm surprised that she didn't have a boyfriend or anything considering how gorgeous she was. But then again, I'm sure she gets tons of admirers but is just not interested. She seems like that kind of type. "Jayden's over there about to crack his neck from looking around so much." She motioned over to where Jayden and his father were standing. His father was dressed in jeans and a jacket while Jayden had on his MMA school shirt, sweats and sneakers. He was looking around curiously, concern etched over his features. His emerald eyes suddenly flicked over to me and I noticed him let go of his worried breath. He pressed his full lips together in an attempt not to smile but I saw the edges of his mouth tug upwards.
"Sorry, I had to take care of something before I came over," I said as I looked back down at Bethany. She nodded.
"At least you're here now and Jayden can chill out." I chuckled as we began to make our way up to my boyfriend and his father. The older man nodded to me and offered me a small smile as we reached them. I formally greeted him before I looked to Jayden who was staring at me. "Are you happy now, Jay," Bethany teased. He glance glared at her causing both she and his father to laugh softly. He rolled his eyes at them and grabbed my hand to pull me a couple feet away from them.
"Everything alright," I asked him. He nodded, his emerald eyes going back to me. His tiny smile freely appeared on his lips. I felt the butterflies arise in my stomach at the sight. "I'm sorry that I'm so late. I was talking to Ashley and you know how she is."
"It's alright," he said. He gave my hand a soft squeeze. "You're here now and that's all that matters to me." I blushed softly but let a soft smile come upon my lips. Jayden glanced down at my lips before looking around and tugging me down the hall. I wanted to question where we were going but I just let him guide me down into an empty back room. The way he pushed me inside reminded me of the way he pushed me into the room back at his uncle's restaurant. I felt more butterflies awake in my stomach as my déjà vu continued when I turned and immediately felt his lips crash down onto mine. As soon as our kisses began, I began to see stars behind my closed eyes. I let my body work on its own as I wrapped my arms around his slim but muscular torso and pull him close to me. His arms wound around me as well, holding me tightly as our lips moved together in harmony. It wasn't long before I felt my back hit the nearest wall. Jayden hummed softly into my mouth as his tongue made its way inside to wrestle with mine. I felt my knees go weak at the feel of his sweet tongue. He tasted so good and his lips were so soft. I never wanted to stop kissing him but I knew that the matches were going to start soon.
Reluctantly, I pulled away and stared up into his beautiful emerald eyes. "I missed you," he breathed before he leaned down to peck my lips once more.
"I missed you too," I told him. I leaned up to kiss him again for a moment. He chuckled as I pulled away. "Come on, you have to get changed soon." He let me tug him out of the room but he didn't look too happy about it. I did hold his hand as we walked back to where his father and Bethany were conversing which seemed to keep him at ease. I let my eyes wander around the smaller stadium at all the fighters with their families and friends. Most were talking happily while others were just chilling while the people around them talked animatedly. I noticed Diego standing with an older man who looked much like him that was talking happily although the boy was paying no mind to him. Instead, his eyes were on Jayden and I. At first his dark eyes were on Jayden but then they flicked to me and then down to our intertwined hands. At the sight, I saw his jaw tighten and anger flashed through his eyes. His dark eyes flicked up to me and I swore I felt my soul jump out of my skin. The death glare that he gave me made Jayden's look like innocent little bunny rabbits. I could see the raw anger in his eyes as well as the jealousy. Jayden did say that they dated for three years at most which was a long time. Sure, Diego may have done him wrong but it was obvious the other boy still harbored strong feelings for him. I felt Jayden give my hand a soft squeeze causing me to look over at him.
"Don't worry about him," he whispered. I nodded, forcing a smile at him. Jayden could see past my fake smile but he didn't push anything, thankfully. Instead he just talked with his father and Bethany until it was time for him to go to the locker rooms. I watched him go to make sure Diego didn't bother him which the other boy didn't. Then, Bethany led Jayden's father and I up to our seats and the tournament began. The matches were a bit longer this time since all the guys were really good at what they were doing and put up good fights. I know that the guy that Jayden fought was a really fair opponent for him. He put up a good fight against my boyfriend and I could see some bruises and such appear on his body after he was chosen as the victor. I could only hope that he would be alright for the second match later on. There was only a short intermission before they started again so I hoped that he didn't go until a later time so that he could rest off his pain. While I was watching the matches, I actually did take notice to Diego's skills. Most of his techniques was similar to Jayden's which made sense considering that Jayden did learn from him at one point. He was a brutal fighter though. It seemed as though he didn't really consider what he was doing or how much it would hurt his opponent, only that it would help him to victory.
During intermission, Bethany and I walked down to the restrooms and to get some more food. We headed to the restrooms first since we both couldn't hold it any longer. I tried to be quick in there since I knew that intermission was only but so long and we still had to get some food. As I was washing my hands, I heard a familiar voice come from the door. "I always thought Jayden could do better," I heard Diego's voice say. I quickly looked up to see him standing near the edge of the sinks, leaning against the wall with his head tilted. His eyes were shining with curiosity as well as a bit of mischief. I wanted to say something smart back but I didn't really know what to say. I mean, giving smart remarks to Jayden was different than giving smart remarks to his ex. Even when we weren't friends, somehow I knew that he wouldn't exactly injury me too badly. His ex, however, was a whole different story.
"What do you want," I asked.
"Nothing. I just wanted to get a better look at you. It was awfully dark back in the club when we first met. I'm afraid we haven't been formally introduced."
"I know who you are," I said sharply. "And you don't need to know who I am. It's not that important." A wicked smile came across Diego's face, his eyes filling with amusement.
"Ooo, white boy has got a mouth doesn't he?" He bit down on his bottom lip to tug at it lightly for a second before he continued speaking. "Listen, I'm not here to threaten you or whatever you think I'm here to do."
"Then what are you here to do?" He shrugged.
"I was thinking of letting you know that Jayden is mine and then maybe giving you a black eye to reinforce that statement but I don't think that'd be very appropriate considering where we are. But then I rethought myself. I don't really want Jayden much anymore. He's an old toy. But you, you're an exquisite, shiny new toy." His eyes flashed with devious excitement. "I think I like you better." I felt my stomach tighten in fear. There was no one else here in this bathroom and it was bound to be people milling around outside so no one would hear me if I screamed. I didn't know much of Diego's intentions but my best bet was that he was going to punch on me and then rape me. Or vice versa. Either way, that did not sound very fun. "Don't look so scared," Diego said. "I'm not going to touch you. That would cause problems that don't need to be there. Just do me a favor and stay away from Jayden, will you? Not for my sake though, but for yours." I raised an eyebrow, confused at his statement. A deadly chuckle left Diego's lips. "He didn't tell you, did he?" He shook his head. "Figures," he said simply before turning and walking out the restroom.
As I watched him go, I couldn't help but to feel my head spin a bit. I know that Mia had told me plenty of times to stay away from Jayden and be careful but that was because she knew he was gay and was probably afraid that he'd take me away from her. But why would his ex-boyfriend tell me to stay away from him? He even told me that it would be for my benefit and not his. What the hell was going on?
X
"Jayden stop moving," I scolded my boyfriend as I tried to clean the cut that had formed around his eye from his second fight. We were back at his father's house now and I was trying to tend to him but he kept moving around. I understood that he was in pain and that he was tired but I just really needed to clean him up before his cuts got any worse. His second match had been pretty brutal and although he won, he still got messed up really bad.
"Then stop pressing the alcohol down on it so hard," he hissed back. I sighed but continued to dab along the cut. He hissed in pain and turned his face away as I hit the top of the cut.
"Dammit, Jayden. Don't make me tie you to the bed," I told him. A small smirk came upon his busted lip.
"Mhmm then what are you gonna do? Make me call you Papi," he said seductively. I blushed deeply but dabbed at his cut as a reply. He hissed at me. "Fuck you," he said causing me to laugh.
"Will you please stay still," I said. "I know you're tired but I have to get this done. You did fine with all the other ones."
"Fine; I'll stay still but can you just hurry up a little bit?"
"I'll go as quickly as I can," I promised. He nodded once before letting me finish cleaning the cut up. Once I got it bandaged and such, I got up to go run a hot bath for him. He watched me go, flopping down on his bed. "Don't fall asleep," I told him. He groaned in response causing me to smile. I walked to the personal bathroom connected to his room and ran some hot water for him. I leaned against the sink and looked at him lying on his bed. He was on his back, his green eyes staring up at the ceiling. "Are you alright," I asked him. He turned his head to look over at me.
"Yea," he murmured. I glanced at his running water before walking back over to the bed. I lay beside him, wrapping him up in my arms. He lay his head against my chest, his eyelids beginning to droop from his weariness. I kissed his forehead and played with his curls absentmindedly. "Thank you," he whispered. "For taking care of me."
"Anything for you," I told him. Jayden chuckled lightly.
"You're a great boyfriend. You know that, don't you?"
"Now I do." Jayden pulled his head up so that he could look up at me with those beautiful, vibrant emeralds of his. Sincerity and care lay deep in those orbs as they stared up at me.
"You are," he said seriously. I smiled and pecked a light kiss at his lips.
"You're a great boyfriend too."
"Nah. I could be better." I shook my head.
"Not in my eyes." I kissed him again for a moment before I looked towards the bathroom. "You should go take your bath so that you can get to sleep. Your body needs the rest."
"Okay," he said with a sigh. "Are you staying the night?"
"Do you want me to?" He nodded. "Okay then I will." Jayden smiled before starting to slowly ease himself off the bed. He walked down to the bathroom and shut the door behind him. I let a deep sigh escape my lips as I lay there alone now on his bed. I was trying very hard not to let what Diego had said get to me but I couldn't help but let my head swim with questions. Everything that came with Jayden's past was so vague or at least his falling out with Mia was. But now that falling out seemed to involve Diego too. That caused me to question what he had to do with anything? But then again, he was Jayden's first boyfriend and Mia did mention that Jayden started changing. But what if Mia and Diego had things all wrong? What if they were lying? What exactly happened?
I pushed the thoughts out of my mind and just let my mind go back to peace. I didn't care. It wasn't important nor relevant to Jayden and I's relationship. We were happy and I couldn't let anything mess that up. Not Mia, not Diego, not anything. I was more than just happy with him and I refused to let anyone take that happiness away from me.