No Turning Back - Chapter 35: Chapter 35

"Wake up, white boy," I heard Jayden's voice say as something shook my shoulder. I groaned, turning away from him and pulling the cover over my bed. "Don't ignore me," he said as he pulled the cover off of me.
"Jayden, do you know what time it is?"
"Yes. It's five in the morning now wake up," he said as he popped me in the back of the head.
"I see someone is feeling better," I mumbled. I reluctantly turned over and looked up at him. He was staring down at me with his vibrant eyes, his mouth in a line. It was still dark in the room since the sun wasn't out yet. "What do you want," I asked as I narrowed my sleepy eyes at him.
"I'm bored," he said simply.
"Then go wake up your uncle."
"No. I heard him and Alex doing a little something last night. I'm not going in there. Do you want me to be scarred more than I already am?" I rolled my eyes at him. I ran a hand through my hair as I stretched.
"What's wrong, Jayden? We both know that you don't wake up at five in the morning unless you absolutely have to." Jayden blinked his eyes before getting out of the bed. He walked over to the closet and disappeared inside of it. I relaxed in his bed as I waited for him to return. Over the past two weeks, I'd been sleeping over...a lot. Jayden had been really unstable ever since he broke down to me about his girls' deaths. He blamed it all on himself since he believed that he could have done something more to prevent them from dying. I tried to reassure him that none of it was his fault but he never listened to me. He just ignored me and went on with his little breakdowns. Once, he started throwing shit at me so I literally had to seriously wrestle him down to the ground and hold him still so that he would stop. I remember it had started with how his usual breakdowns started: with him beginning to cry and say things that he shouldn't be. I once again tried to reassure him that everything was going to get better and he flipped out on me. No one else was in the apartment except us so I had to be the one to calm him down. Usually it was easy since he didn't want to get violent but this time he did so it was harder – especially since he was stronger than me. But I don't think he knew that it was me that he was fighting with. His eyes weren't in the present time when he'd tackled me down onto the couch and nearly tried to punch my face in. They were somewhere else. Honestly, I think he was trying to fight with God. He kept yelling things in Spanish as I tried to get the upper hand on him and we rolled down onto the floor. I heard him yell the Spanish word for God a couple times so I figured that he may have thought he was talking to God. Sounded strange I know but he had been through a lot. I couldn't blame him if his mind was a little out of whack.
Anyway, I had to say that I was lucky that I paid attention to Jayden's moves when he would fight at his tournaments and when we would playfully wrestle around. It helped me keep an eye out for what he was about to do and when he was about to it. I didn't actually get the upper hand until about an hour later since he was much more experienced and knew how to beat someone up. He never actually physically hit me though. He didn't punch me or slap me or any of that. I won't say that he didn't put me in some painful holds because he did but I didn't mind it. I wasn't that much of a wimp. So, when I finally got him to stay on the fucking ground without moving, I tried to talk him back into the present. I tried to let him know that I was only trying to help him. I tried to let him know who I was. He didn't listen to me at first so I resorted to the only thing I could that would remind him of me.
I had leaned down onto him and kissed him. Now, I had wished that after months of not being able to kiss his sweet lips that the moment I would finally be able to kiss them again would be special. Sure, it wasn't the best time to kiss him but it was necessary unless I wanted to continue getting my ass kicked. It was a great kiss though. His lips were so soft, smooth and sweet as they moved against mine. At first, he had frozen up against me but it only took him a couple of seconds to respond back. He kissed me desperately, passionately, his arms wiggling themselves out of my grasp to wrap around my torso. As our kisses deepened and our tongues got thrown into the mix, Jayden had picked me up and lay me down on the couch. Things escalated a lot from there and before we knew it, we were in his room with half of our clothes off. "Daniel," he'd whispered when both of us had driven the other crazy enough that we were in deep lust for each other. "Daniel, we can't... Not after what I just did to you."
"I'm fine," I whispered back. I pushed some of his curls back away from his face. "I want you." I leaned up to capture his lips again. Jayden moaned softly against our kisses.
"I want you too. I want you so much. I've missed you so much. God, I need you."
"Then shut up and have me." Jayden had smirked and kissed me once more. We'd almost had sex right then and there but Jayden calmed himself down. He told me that he wanted our first time to be special. He told me that he wanted us to be somewhere quiet, somewhere private, somewhere where no one could find us. I'd agreed that when we found that special moment then we could fulfill what we wanted. He had seemed pleased with that and continued to make out with me.
That incident had been at least a week ago. Ever since then, I guess you could say that Jayden and I had gotten somewhat back together. I mean, we did make out at night and he may have started to do...certain things to me but he never mentioned anything about us being officially a couple again. His uncle teased him all the time when he thought I wasn't in hearing range about why Jayden didn't just own up to calling me his boyfriend. Jayden had always shrugged and said that it was complicated. Once he told his uncle that he loved me and he didn't want to risk losing me again. His uncle had replied that maybe he should be telling me that. Jayden had only shrugged and looked in my direction, his eyes shining with longing.
I understood where he was coming from completely. I didn't want to lose him again either but something about our whole little friends with benefits thing that we had going on didn't exactly put a good base on what we were trying to put back together. If something were to go wrong, it would be much easier since we weren't actually together. He could see other people if he really wanted to. Hell, even I could see other if I really wanted to and he couldn't say anything about it because I wasn't technically his. Even though the thought of being with someone else besides Jayden made me sick, I still had to keep the possibilities open. We were still young and the road ahead of our lives was still so long.
"Happy Birthday," I heard Jayden say. I snapped back into the present to see him holding out a green gift bag to me. I raised my eyes to meet his to see that his tiny smile had appeared on his face.
"Birthday," I asked. "It's not my birthday today, is it?"
"Yes...it is. It's May 25. You're officially legal. Now here, open your gift."
"You woke me up at five in the morning to give me a birthday gift?"
"I could've woken you up at 12. Be grateful." I shook my head at him but let a smile come across my lips.
"Thank you," I said as I took the bag from him. He sat down next to me and kissed my cheek.
"You're welcome." He looked down at the bag. "So, are you going to open it?"
"Maybe later. I'm going back to sleep." Jayden shot me a glare as I lay back down and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Goodnight." I couldn't even close my eyes before I felt Jayden begin to tickle me. I laughed uncontrollably as I tried to squirm away from him. He wasn't having that though. He got on top of me, straddling my hips, so that I wouldn't move. I wiggled under his weight as he continued to tickle me. Eventually, I caught his hands and held them in mine. "You're mean," I told him. "It's my birthday; you're supposed to be nice to me today."
"Yea alright," he said. "Let go of me. I wasn't done."
"No! No more tickling, please." Jayden wiggled his hands out of mine and grabbed my wrists, pinning my arms over my head. He leaned his head down so that his forehead rested on mine.
"Oh I wasn't going to tickle you. I had something better in mind." His eyes started to fill with some hints of lust as he bit his lip. I blushed softly under his gaze. He chuckled before pressing his lips against mine. One of his hands held my wrists still while the other began to trail down my body. I gasped into his mouth as it reached its destination.
"Jayden," I murmured softly.
"Shh," he whispered back before kissing me again. "Just let me do all the work." I blushed deeper as he began to kiss on my neck. I bit my lip to bite back a moan as his hand dipped itself into my pants. As he continued to do what he wanted with me, I had to admit that I didn't mind the fact that he had woken me up at five in the morning anymore.
X
"Daniel, Jayden's here," my aunt Tammy said as she poked her head in my room. I was sitting at my desk, working on my valedictorian speech. I glanced at my aunt. She was a slim woman who looked like a younger version of my mother and an older version of Ashley. She had the same chestnut brown hair, green eyes, long lashes, plump lips, and bubbly personality. I liked living with her. She wasn't as strict as my parents were but she was very cautious with us. It was as if she was afraid that she was going to lose one of us or something. It was kind of funny.
"Okay. Thanks. You can let him in," I told her.
"He's really cute. You sure he's gay," she teased.
"Auntie," I yelled. She giggled but left the door as she walked away. I went back to my speech for a moment before I felt muscular arms come down over my shoulders and Jayden's soft lips come down onto my neck. "Hey," I said as a smile unconsciously made its way upon my lips.
"Hey," he mumbled into my neck. "Are you just now writing your valedictorian speech?"
"Maybe..."
"Damn, I thought you would've had it written out by now."
"I was supposed to but the first one I wrote was all bullshit. The speech needs to be genuine, relatable...not a bunch of crap about how we're going our separate ways and are a family and all that other stuff that most valedictorians go on about. So, I decided to rewrite it."
"Hmm, well graduation is in less than a week. I hope you've got some good ideas. Just because I love you doesn't mean that I won't fall asleep during your speech if it's that boring."
"I guess it's a good thing that some of my best ideas come when I'm under pressure, huh?"
"Mhmm." I turned my head to capture his lips with mine for a moment.
"So, what's up? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, Daniel," he said as he started to let me go. He walked over to my bed and sat down. I got up from my seat and went to sit down next to him. I noticed that he was wearing his work clothes and that his curls were a bit tousled from the windy weather. He turned his green eyes to me. "I went to the doctor's yesterday and they said that I'm doing fine."
"Have you been to the psychiatrist that the medic recommended?"
"Hell no."
"Jayden-"
"Daniel, for the last time, I'm not going to talk to some shrink. I am fine. Okay? Besides, all they're going to do is tell me the exact same things that you do." He put his hand on my shoulder and put on a sympathetic face. "Everything will be okay. You just have to stop thinking so negatively. You have to think more positively and try to make the most out of life," he said as he tried to mimic my voice. He rolled his eyes as he took my hand off of my shoulder. "At least I can push you off of something to get you to stop. So, therefore, I will stick with you."
"But what if you need someone professional to talk to? They may say something different than I do. Maybe they can help you better than I can."
"Nope. I'm not going to go talk to a shrink."
"Fine... Are you sure that you're okay?"
"Daniel, I'm fine," Jayden said firmly. "I didn't come over to talk to you about how I'm feeling. I wanted to show you something."
"Okay." I watched as he took off his bag and dug through it to pull out a folder. He pulled out a sheet and handed it to me. I looked down to see that it was an acceptance letter from the University of Chicago. He had received a full scholarship into the school as well as was accepted into their International Studies program. The letter was dated way back in January when he had first gotten accepted.
"I'm gonna go to college...part time anyway. I worked everything out with the Marines so that I could get an education while also being in the service and doing what I wanted to do. When I'm done with school, I'm gonna be a Foreign Service Junior Officer in part with the military. So, I'll be doing business stuff with other countries and things. I'm gonna get my masters too so...yea. I wanted to tell you that I do have a plan for my life once I'm done with the Marines."
"Jayden, I'm really proud of you," I said as I enveloped him into a hug.
"Thanks, Daniel, that means a lot to me." I kissed his cheek.
"I think you deserve a nice dinner out on the town as a reward for your good decision." He raised an eyebrow. "What," I asked.
"This isn't a date...is it?" I blushed deeply.
"It can be...if you want..." Jayden smiled.
"Yea...I think I'd like that." I returned the smiled and leaned in to kiss his lips. He held my head there, making the kiss last longer than I intended it to. Note that I minded though. We were getting better and that was the only thought that could be processed through my head. Somehow, I knew that we were going to be okay after all.