No Turning Back - Chapter 40: Chapter 40

15 Years Later
"Good morning, Doctor Crawford," I heard my intern, Danielle, say as I walked into my office. She held out a steaming hot coffee to me. "I picked up your disgusting black coffee on my way here."
"Thank you," I said as I shot her a smile. Danielle was a slender, pretty faced red headed girl with the brains of a female Einstein. I'd been working with her for almost six months now and I'd come to enjoy her company. Those first two years of being a doctor without having some company of another person beside all the other nurses and doctors drove me insane. They were always so stressed out about their cases. I always told them not to let the children see their worried faces or else they'd get worried. But, of course they never listened to me. "So, are you up for a walk around? We're kind of early this morning. Our first appointment isn't until nine."
"Sure," she said as she stood up from her seat. I opened the door for her as we headed out into the busy halls of the children's hospital I worked in. Many of the children recognized me and greeted me with warm smiles as we walked down the halls. I looked after many of the children here since apparently, I was a parent and child favorite pediatrician here in the hospital. Many parents told me that they liked my optimistic way of going about with things while the children just liked me because I made their check-ups as fun as I could. Little did they know that I had picked up that technique from the doctor I had interned under during my residency a couple years ago. I was trying to teach Danielle the same thing and she was getting the hang of it since she was a peppy spirit anyway.
I remember when we'd first met, she used to ask me so many questions. Where did I go to college? Did I really go to Harvard for my medical degree? Why wasn't I married? Where was my girlfriend? What were you like in high school? What are you siblings like? Are you gay?
I had looked up from my paperwork when she'd asked that question. Her head was tilted slightly, her wide blue eyes curious. I nodded to that question in which she shrugged. "Figures," she had said. "Beautiful face, great job but no wife or girlfriend. It makes sense." I had shaken my head at her but she continued to talk. "So, do you have a boyfriend?"
"No," I replied back simply.
"Why not?"
"Because my last relationship ended pretty badly."
"What happened?"
"Turns out he had a wife and kids who he was trying to hide his sexuality from."
"Ouch."
"Mhmm so therefore I'm gonna be single for a while."
"Have you ever been in love...with a guy before?" I looked up at her again after she asked that question. My mind went to the chain around my neck that held the silver ring. I wanted to touch it but I didn't want to talk about him. I hadn't talked about him in years. Instead, I had moved on with my life just as he did with his. Or at least I hoped he still had a life. After that summer day, there was never any more contact. It was almost as if he'd disappeared from life - or never been in it in the first place. I tried not to think of him or talk about him or worry about him. I tried to be happy just as he'd wanted me to be. So, in the midst of trying to reach that happiness, he became a mere ghost of my imagination. I left our relationship where it ended - right there in the apartment complex parking lot.
"Yes," I answered honestly. "With one..."
"Where is he?"
"I wish I knew." Danielle must've noticed the sadness in my eyes so she dropped the topic and moved onto a different topic for another round of 20 questions. She never again asked about the man whom I had fallen in love with. Instead, she let herself be content with the answer I'd given her. Sometimes she would hint at trying to get more out of me indirectly but I wasn't stupid. I knew how to read people's questions and how to dodge them. While I knew that she meant no harm, I still wasn't comfortable talking about it.
"Aw, look at all the little cuties," Danielle said as we stopped near the play room waiting room. Most of the other pediatricians hadn't come into work yet but a lot of parents liked to get here early to make sure that they got their appointments in. A good three fourths of the kids that the pediatricians here attended to had some serious issues so the parents felt more comfortable having their check-ups in a hospital rather than a regular doctor's office. There were a couple of parents sitting the chairs as their children played around on the indoor playground located in the room. I did scan over the children, cute little things they were, until my eyes landed on one in particular. The child was a boy of only four or five years of age, hanging on tightly to one of the bars that led to the chain steps on the big jungle-gym house. He had curly black hair, caramel colored skin, and bright, vibrant green eyes. He was staring dead at me. "Do you know that one," Danielle asked.
"I don't think so...," I said unsurely. I watched as the little boy climbed down from the jungle-gym house and slowly approached us. "Hello there," I told him. The little boy narrowed his eyes as he tilted his head up at me.
"Aren't you just the cutest little thing," Danielle gushed as she bent down to his height. He didn't pay any attention to her; he kept his green eyes on me. I smiled and bent down to his height as well.
"What's your name," I asked him.
"Adrian," he murmured softly. "Who...who are you?"
"My name is Doctor Crawford."
"Your real name," Adrian pushed. His voice was still a bit high since he was so little but I could hear a strong accent behind it. "Daddy told me not to talk to strangers so if I know your real name then we're not strangers anymore."
"Your daddy is right about not talking to strangers but I told you my real name: Doctor Crawford."
"Doctor is a strange first name," Adrian said as his mouth twisted into a slight scowl. "Are you lying to me?"
I sighed. "My real name is Daniel. My name is Daniel Crawford."
Adrian nodded, satisfied. "I knew you looked familiar."
"Excuse me?"
"Do you want to play," he asked. He grabbed my hand and tugged softly. "Come on; let's play, Daniel." Danielle giggled from beside me as the little boy continued to tug at my hand.
"I think I should be getting you back to your daddy, little one," I told him. He pouted but smiled as I grasped his hand. "Come on; show me where he is."
Adrian nodded and began to tug me towards the back of the room. Danielle followed us as the little boy dragged me up to what I assumed was his father. The man had long legs, short cut curly hair, almond shaped vibrant green eyes, slightly arched eyebrows, and a slight mustache. Sitting beside the man was a small girl with dark wavy hair, the same vibrant green irises as her father and brother that were slightly angled, and light bronze skin. She had to only be about three at the most. While the man was dressed in jeans, sneakers, and a fitted tee, the little girl was dressed in a sun dress with sandals.
"Excuse me sir, but I think this one is yours," I told the man as I offered a small smile. The man looked up at me with his vibrant eyes and I felt my heart skip a beat. He held my gaze for a moment before looking down to Adrian.
"Nah, I don't think that's mine," he said, his deep voice highly accented with a Hispanic ring. The little boy let go of my hand wrapped himself around his father's leg.
"Daddy," he whined. "Why won't you love me when we're outside the house?"
"Because you always try to disappear when we're out the house," the man told his son. He looked up at me again and once again, I felt my heart skip a beat. "You want him? You can have him for five dollars?"
"Do I look like I'm worth five dollars," Adrian asked. His father chuckled as he ruffled the little boy's curls.
"I'm only kidding around, mijo," he assured the child. He then turned his eyes back to me. "Thank you for bringing him back. He's always wandering around."
"It's no problem."
"Daddy, this is Daniel Crawford," Adrian said as he began to bounce up and down. "He's a doctor." His father's eyes had widened at the sound of my name and he looked down at his son in confusion. He looked up at me again, his eyes scrutinizing me carefully.
"You're Doctor Crawford," he asked.
"The one and only," I said with a soft smile. "Do your little ones have an appointment with me?"
"Yea...at nine."
"I can take them now if you'd like. I'm sure you've got other things to do on a sunny Thursday morning."
"Okay..." The man got up from his seat, causing his little girl to look up at him. "Come on, Arielle; we're going to talk to the doctor now." He helped the little girl down from the seat and she immediately latched onto his hand. I led them back down the hall to my office.
"Danielle, do you want to get them measured and such while I start getting their information," I asked my assistant as we got back there. She nodded, shooting me a soft smile. Before, she had been staring at the father of the two children. I will admit that the man was very handsome so I couldn't blame her for being in awe of him.
"Come on, little ones," she said as she held out her hands to them. "We're going to go see how tall the both of you have gotten." Adrian willingly came to her side while his sister, Arielle, hesitated. She looked up at her father, moving closer to him.
"It's okay," he told her softly. "Go on."
"Come on, Ari," Adrian said as he held his hand out to his younger sister. The little girl smiled at the sight of his hand and grabbed it. Adrian then grabbed onto Danielle's outstretched hand and my assistant led them out of the room.
"Cute kids you got there," I told their father as I turned to face him. He was staring at me, his mouth turned into a line. There was this look on his face that struck some type of déjà vu in me. For some reason, I felt as if I'd seen that look before. But where?
"Thanks," he murmured.
"Sit please," I told him, motioning to the seat across from my desk. The man did as he was told, the strange look still on his face. "So, are you new to Philadelphia? I don't think I've seen you around here before."
"Yea. We just moved here a couple weeks ago."
"Ah, how do you like it here? Where'd you move from?"
"Their mother used to live up in Pittsburgh so that's where they used to live. I'm from Chicago."
"Really? Me too. Small world, huh?"
"Very," the man said lowly.
"So, where is their mother now if you don't mind my asking?" While we'd been talking, I'd been setting up the computer to get all of their information in for the system.
"She's working. She's a teacher."
"Ah, that's nice. That's nice. What do you do?"
"I work for the government, basically."
"Hmm, you guys sound like a nice couple."
"We're not a couple," he said quickly.
"Oh, my apologies." I glanced up at the man to see that he was staring at me, his eyes anxious. "I'm sorry but I never got your name, sir."
"Delgado...Jayden Delgado." My eyes widened as I felt my heart almost beat out of my chest. The chain around my neck felt heavier around my neck as all the memories that name held came flooding back to my mind. I looked up at the man again. Jayden... Those eyes...that hair...that tiny smile that he was now giving me. Holy shit... "Remember me now, white boy," he asked teasingly.
"Jayden," I said slowly. "You...you're here..."
"You know, I kind of thought that Bethany was setting me up when she scheduled this appointment without giving me any information." God, there was so many emotions running through me at the sight of him. Now that I knew who he was, I could see how much he's grown. He was still his muscular, seemingly badass self but I could see the hardness in his eyes had disappeared to some extent and instead a new hardness harbored there. He seemed more laid back and relaxed than he was before but there was a subtle tension in his body language. After being in the military, I kind of expected that from him. While fighting may have gotten some of his anger out, no one could fully come out of the horrors of war without some nightmares. "Stop staring at me like that before I punch you in your throat," he said. I blinked back into the reality to see him staring at me with an annoyed expression.
"I see you're still the same Jayden you used to be," I said, referring to his comment.
"I see you're still the same prissy white boy that you used to be," he replied. I let a smile come across my face. "Hi Daniel," he said.
"Hi Jayden. How are you? What are you doing here? I mean, you were going into the Marines and we lived in Chicago and now you're here..."
"I'm doing alright. I'm here because Bethany needed me to be more involved in the kids' lives. She didn't like the fact that I only saw them once every couple of months."
"How is she? These are you and Bethany's kids? Wow, they're beautiful."
"Thank you. She's good. How's Melanie? And Ashley?"
"Melanie's married now – to Damien. They have two sons – both my godsons. Ashley is...still Ashley. She's good though. She's good."
"And little Zac?"
"He's good. He's not so little anymore though. He goes to college up at Penn State. He's a really smart kid."
"And how are you? Still a little bitch?"
I chuckled. "I don't think so. I'm good though. I'm good."
"You look good; I see you've got some muscle on that scrawny body." His smile widened a bit. "You look happy."
"I am. I'm living the dream, ya know. What have you been up to?"
"Traveling, mostly. Lots of fighting with the Marines and stuff. I did get my college degree so I work for the government and everything. Beth and I had our kids a couple years ago. Adrian is five and Arielle is three. They're um...they're truly a blessing no matter how annoying Adrian is."
"Hmm, I wonder where he gets that."
"Shut the fuck up, white boy." I chuckled, the sound of him saying that bringing me back to the time when I was seventeen and in love. Damn, I missed him. "What have you been up to?"
"School," I said with a sigh. "12 years of straight school and internships."
"Wow, you've got some brains and some serious tolerance there. I don't know how you did it."
"Trust me, I don't either." We both laughed softly before Danielle came back in with the kids. I suddenly felt a bit embarrassed. I hadn't been doing my job. Instead, I was sitting here chatting it up with my ex-boyfriend. I quickly went back into doctor mode and did what I was I was supposed to be doing in the first place. I hooked Jayden and his kids up into the system before checking out the kids and such. Both of them seemed to be perfectly healthy but little Arielle was a shy one. She didn't seem to want to talk to anyone except her brother and father. But then again, she was still so young so I couldn't say I was too surprised. Adrian, on the other hand, could talk someone's ear off. I honestly don't even know what the little boy was talking about. I just know that his mouth was moving and words were coming out of it.
Once the check-up was over, I let Danielle help the kids pick out a toy from the little treasure chest I had in my office. It left me and Jayden alone for another moment in which we had smiled at each other. "So, this is going to sound very unprofessional but I was wondering if you um...if you wanted to catch up sometime. We can go to dinner or you can come over or something," I said, letting myself blush. As I stood there, under his gaze, I felt as if I was seventeen all over again. He still gave me the same butterflies I'd missed after all these years causing me to be a bit bashful. "I mean, that's if you're not seeing someone."
"Don't worry, white boy," he assured me. "I've only got eyes for one. It's been like that for a long time." I blushed deeply as he smiled. He pulled out a card from his pocket. "Here's my cell number. I was supposed to give it to you for professional reasons but I wouldn't mind if you called me on unprofessional terms. I promise I won't tell."
"Yea, I should give you my number too." I bent down to quickly scribble down the number on the back of my doctor's card. I handed it to him. "Call me sometime."
"I will," he promised as his kids ran back up to him. "Say goodbye to Doctor Crawford," he told them.
"Bye Daniel," Adrian said happily as he shot me a big smile.
"Bye bye," Arielle said, her small voice soft. She sounded like a little baby doll. It was so cute.
"I'll see you around, white boy," Jayden murmured before he led his kids out of the room. I watched them go, a small smile coming across my face.
"Is that the guy," Danielle asked as she came up beside me. "The only one you've fallen in love with?"
"Yup." She smiled.
"Judging from that look on your face, I think you still love him."
"Who ever said I stopped?" Danielle smiled wider, patting my shoulder gently before walking away to get my next patient. As she did so, I kept my eyes on Jayden and his retreating family. As he reached the end of the hallway, he looked back at me with his beautiful eyes and shot me a smile. In that moment, I knew that he still loved me and he still wanted to be with me. I knew that he was going to steal my heart again and his little children probably would to. I guess all I could do now was to tell my heart to be prepared. I was going to fall in love with that boy and his green eyes all over again.