No Turning Back - Chapter 7: Chapter 7

I tapped my pencil as I stared down at the math problem on my paper. It was about sixth period and I was in the middle of a calculus test. Now, I knew how to solve the question but my mind just wasn't here in the classroom. It kept roaming around to other places. I'd never had that problem before. Usually, I would be able to focus intently on my task at hand even when something was on my mind. This time, however I was focusing on everything but my test. I was struggling with this throughout the entire test. I should be thankful that I knew what I was doing so my absent-mind didn't really cause me too many problems. I quickly glanced at the clock to see that I still had a good ten minutes of class to spare and I was only on the last problem. I blinked myself back into focus and scribbled down my work. Once the answer was done on paper, I got up to walk to the teacher's desk and put my paper down in the designated test bin. I was the first one finished...as usual. My teacher shot me an encouraging smile as I continued my action. I shot her a polite smile back before turning to go back to my desk. Mia was walking down the aisle, holding her test in her dainty hands. She smiled shyly at me as I met her big blue eyes. I winked at her, causing pink to rush to her cheeks. It was so cute.
Once I sat down, I finally gave in to the fight I was having with my mind. I let it drift back to last Friday: the place where most of my questions were swimming around from. I mean, most of the night went pretty well but it was near the end that it got...strange. It started out with Ashley catching Mia and I making out on the couch. I was on top of the smaller girl and had my hands halfway in her pants. Ashley had seen me in similar positions with my past girlfriends so she merely laughed at me when she saw us. Especially after I practically fell to the floor from being surprised. It got even more embarrassing when I was too busy yelling at Ashley about giving me privacy to notice that Jayden was standing right behind her. I had guessed that he had seen just as much as she did from the look on his face. His jaw was tight, his jaw bones practically ready to crack under the pressure, his mouth was turned into a frown, his eyes had hardened and his fists were balled up tightly at his sides. Surprisingly, though, his emerald eyes were sending daggers to Mia rather than me. Mia met his gaze casually and a small, sly smile came upon her face. It was if she was trying to send him a message that was close to I've won or Look at what've done. What are you gonna do about it? Nothing!
Ever since then, I had been curious to find out more about what exactly happened between Mia and Jayden. I knew that Jayden wouldn't tell me so I didn't even both asking him. He's been giving dirty looks since then though. I was expecting that a bit but the looks just got dirtier and dirtier. I think he's killed me about ten million times with his looks. But, even if I did ask him about what happened how would I know that he wasn't lying? Hell, how did I even know that Mia wasn't lying? I didn't want to push the topic but I didn't want to be in the dark in case I unintentionally got involved in it. I would defend Mia if I really had to but I'd like to know what I'm defending her for.
I looked over at her to see that her big blue eyes were already on me. Her chin was in the palm of her hand as her ocean colored eyes stared at me with adoration. When she noticed I was meeting her gaze, she blushed softly and looked away. Unconsciously, a small smile played on my lips as I looked away as well. Another thing that was bothering me about Friday night though was the emptiness I felt when I was kissing her. I literally didn't feel a thing and it confused the hell out of me. I mean, I knew that I liked her and I knew that she liked me too. So, why did I feel so indifferent about our kisses? I even tried to go a bit further just to try to get some burst of emotion out of myself. Instead, I ended up with nothing. If anything, the emptiness just got colder. I felt like a jerk as I sat there and kissed her with nothing while I bet she was having butterflies like crazy. I wish I could get over the feeling. I didn't like it. I felt like a robot when the emptiness was there...something I already was half the time.
Suddenly the bell rang. My head snapped up as I jolted out of my thoughts. I looked around at all the students leaving the classroom before grabbing my book bag and hurrying to join the crowd. As soon as I got into the hallway, I felt a small, smooth hand intertwine with mine. "How do you think you did on the test," I heard Mia's soft voice say as she walked beside me to our next class. I shrugged.
"I thought it was pretty easy, actually." Mia poked me in the chest.
"That's because you're super smart." I smiled but shook my head. "I thought it was pretty reasonable. Not too hard but not too easy. Pretty doable." I nodded.
"Yea. It wasn't too bad." Mia began to babble on more about the test and such while I scanned the hallway casually. As we walked on, I saw Melanie at her locker with some tall guy. She looked happy with her bright eyes and her mouth moving rapidly. I guessed she was talking about books or something from the way she enthusiastically moved her hands around and her facial expressions changed with them. That girl was an absolute fanatic for all types of books. Once, we went to Barnes and Noble and we stayed there for hours because she had to inspect every book in there and tell me about the ones she had read. I enjoyed reading too so I could understand everything she felt. A small smile came upon my lips at the memory. Damn, I really missed her. Suddenly, as if she had heard my thought, Melanie looked up and met my gaze. Her smile didn't falter at the sight like usual. Instead she smiled widely and waved. Thank goodness she was getting over our quasi fight. I waved back at her before Mia and I continued on.
My AP Psychology class moved efficiently as the class discussed something about the different elements that went into operant conditioning. I was kind of disappointed of how quickly the class went by. I was really enjoying the class' discussion. Now, it was time to go get shot to death by Jayden's looks. I gave Mia a kiss on the cheek before we separated in the hallway. I quickly made my way down the hallway and into my chemistry class. Mr. Myers was standing at the front of the class with a big smile on his face. He was holding a big stack of papers. Ah shit. He was either about to give us a super long essay to write or a project – none of which I really felt like doing in that moment.
Jayden was already at our lab table when I got in the classroom so I walked quietly to my seat beside him. Again, he sent me one of his dirty looks but this time, I think he set me on fire in terms of killing me. Then he watched me burn. "It's a good day, ladies and gentlemen," Mr. Myers said enthusiastically. I raised an eyebrow. Here it comes... "Today, I'm giving you a project that you will work on over the span of this entire year!" Immediately, all of us groaned. "Hey, hey, it's not that bad. It's a fun, educational project. I promise! Now, some of you may not know, but I am a member for the Science Youth organization downtown. The projects that I will be giving you will be presented at the end of the year at our annual science fair. It sounds stupid, I know but it will be a great opportunity to show a good amount of people your smarts. Now, I will leave this project optional to a topic of your choosing but it must be a topic off of this sheet. No two partners can have the same topic so once you decide on yours, just come down and let me know so that I can write it down." Mr. Myers approached our lab table and set down two papers on it. I slid one over to my side to look at it. Indeed, there was a long list of possible project ideas but they all seemed...interesting. I was surprised that a teacher actually gave out a fun project. But then again, I liked science so that might make a difference on my perspective.
"So, what on here looks good to you," I asked Jayden. I was trying to be nice since apparently we had to work together for the rest of the year on this project. Mr. Myers didn't mention how much percentage it would be on our grade but I could expect that it would probably be a lot. I glanced at my partner to see he was staring at me. His emerald eyes were watching me carefully but they seemed to flicker with mischief at the sound of the question. I saw a muscle in his mouth move as if he was about to answer but he stayed quiet. He moved his eyes back to the paper. I watched as they scanned it intently, the muscle in his mouth moving slightly to the rhythm of his gum chewing.
"Well, he says that we could create something to demonstrate a mix of chemicals and how well they react together. Maybe we could make something like cologne or soap or lotion. Something cool like that," he said before looking to me. "Or we could blow up something."
"Yea I'd bet you'd love to blow up my face," I muttered. A small smirk came upon Jayden's face at the sound of my comment.
"True. That'd be fun." I rolled my eyes.
"Whatever. I'm gonna go tell Mr.-"
"I've got it," Jayden said quickly before getting up. I saw him make a beeline to our teacher, his long legs moving in quick strides. They conversed shortly as Mr. Myers nodded enthusiastically before he came back to the table. "He's in love with our idea. He recommends we try to make lotion. Tons of bonds and chemical relations in that type of stuff," he said as he sat down.
"Alright." I opened my notebook and began to start scribbling down some formula ideas for our project. I think I sat there for a good ten minutes doing it while Jayden sat there in silence. He might have been quiet but I could still feel his eyes' strong gaze on me. A part of me wondered why he was always staring at me while another part felt kind of...conflicted I guess I could say. I just left it at that. I didn't really feel like self-exploring at that time. I just wanted to go home and go to sleep. I glanced at Jayden to see his emerald eyes were watching my pen tap against the paper. "Can I ask you something," I asked to break the tension-filled silence.
"Depends on what you're asking," Jayden replied as his eyes slowly moved to meet mine.
"What's with the whole thing going on between you and Mia?" I tried to be nice and cautious about the question. I didn't want him to lie about what happened to get me off his back but I also didn't want to unintentionally offend him again. I wasn't really in the mood to have my ass kicked.
"That's none of your business," Jayden replied quickly as his eyes flicked away. I raised an eyebrow.
"Well, technically, Mia is my girlfriend so it is my business." Jayden's bright eyes met mine again but this time in surprise.
"Your girlfriend," he asked. His eyes flashed with something I couldn't recognize before a devious smirk crept up his face. "Wow, white boy. You're stupider than I thought." He shook his head. "What are you gonna do, anyway? Defend her?" A chuckle rumbled in his throat. "Funny," he said simply. I glared at him.
"Look, I may be a scrawny white boy but I'm not afraid to fight for what I believe in or for what I care about." The corners of Jayden's mouth tightened as his smirk fell.
"If you knew what that bitch did then you would know that defending her isn't the right thing to do. She deserves everything that's going to come to her."
"Do not call her a bitch," I growled. "And quite frankly, all I'm trying to do is figure out exactly what happened. I'm tired of being in the dark of something that seems like a pretty big deal."
"I suggest you stay out of it." He paused. "Oh and Mia is a bitch. That's a fact, not an insult."
"You're such an asshole, Jayden. You know that." He shrugged.
"I've been called worse. But, I know I'm an asshole so I don't really think I care about what you think of me." I shook my head.
"You know, maybe that's why no one in this school likes you. You drive people away for no reason. A person can't even say hi to you without receiving some sort of death threat."
"These little white kids don't have to like me. They respect me and that's all that I care about."
"I don't respect you," I said coldly. "You are just another worthless piece of shit that somehow got graced with a fixed test out of pity and got a scholarship to come here. If it weren't for the rich people who founded this stupid school then you'd probably be right in the ghetto with all your ghetto friends trying to kill each other – right where you belong." I heard the bell ring but I didn't move from my seat for a moment. Jayden was sending me the deadliest glare I'd ever seen in my life and this time, I did feel a shiver go down my spine. He was going to kill me. I knew that for certain and I knew that I deserved it. But, he had pushed my buttons way to hard this time. I was tired of his hatred towards me and I didn't like the way he spoke about Mia. If wanted to call facts then fine, I could spit them right back.
I got out from my seat smoothly and turned to walk out the classroom. I think that I made it a good two minutes down the hall before I felt someone yank my shoulder so that I could turn around. I wasn't surprised to see Jayden standing there with livid eyes and balled fists. I should have been intimidated, scared, helpless but I wasn't. Instead, I stared him dead in the eyes. "What the hell do you want," I asked. The students around us immediately stopped milling around at the sound of my statement. Everyone in this school knew that the scholarship kids only picked fights with each other. They were used to that kind of fighting and such while the rich preppy kids were not. So, we also only picked fights with our kind. Seeing Jayden and I now was something that was rarer than rare. No prep kid ever disrespected a hood kid. It was an unspoken rule and one that was taken to be sacred. Plus, we all know what the result of that altercation would be. But, I didn't care in that moment. Jayden could pound on me all he wanted. Maybe it would be a good thing. Maybe he could actually help me feel something – even if it was pain.
"You've got balls, don't you white boy," Jayden said lowly. "Make your move." Without thinking, I did just that. I balled up my fist and hit him right in the jaw. Immediately, the kids around us started yelling. Their chants buzzed in my ears but I didn't feel adrenaline. Instead, I felt...wrong. I didn't have much time to think about my emotion before I got the lights knocked out of me. Then, I had to jump into the present and attempt to fight Jayden. Although I already knew that I was going to lose, I refused to go down without putting some effort into it. I did get some punches at his torso but it was hard as rock so I doubted that it did anything. But after a couple of my punches, I felt my vision blur up. I think Jayden had hit me too hard. Suddenly, I felt my back hit the ground. After that, my face felt as if it were just on fire. I knew what was going on. Jayden was handing my ass to me – as expected. The teachers didn't stop it though. They never stopped fights here for whatever reason. They believed in getting our feelings out or whatever you wanna call it.
"Jayden, stop," I heard a foreign, female voice say. I slowly moved my arms which I had put up in an attempt to protect myself to look up. I saw the Bethany girl tugging at Jayden's arm. "Come on. Let's just go, okay? Let's just go." Jayden shrugged her off but he did comply enough to get off of me. But he wasn't done. Nope, he gave me a nice kick in the stomach. "Jayden," I heard Bethany yell. Her voice was soft, gentle and harbored a small accent. "Let's go." She grabbed his hand and dragged him into the crowd that had circled around us.
"Danny," I heard Melanie yell. Her sweet face soon came into view as she hovered over me. Her eyebrows were creased in concern, her mouth turned into a frown. "Oh my God, Danny, you're bleeding. Can you stand?"
"I don't know," I said lowly, gritting my teeth at the pain in my abdomen. "I can try."
"Okay, I'll help you." I felt her warm hands grab mine and immediately, I felt a soft joy in my heart. She struggled to pull me up but she managed to do so. She also managed to help lug me outside to my car. Ashley was leaning on the hood of it, texting on her phone. She looked up as we approached her. Her eyes flashed with worry as she tucked her phone into her shirt and came running up to me.
"Daniel, what the hell happened to you? Your nose is bleeding and so is your lip. And your eye...that's going to leave a mean bruise, brother."
"He got into a fight with Jayden," Melanie explained as she helped me into the car. "I'm surprised he's alive, to be honest." I threw my head back against the seat. Melanie opened my glove compartment and quickly began to pull out some tissues. She began to clean me up with them. Her hands were gentle as they moved my face around to mop up all the blood. "Is your stomach okay? Nothing broken right?"
"No," I murmured. "I don't think so." Melanie shook her head at me.
"Thank God, you're alright. I didn't think you would be so stupid. Remind me to never leave you alone ever again. I think you need my guidance more than you think."
"I'm sorry," I murmured. "About..."
"Shh," Melanie said. "It's not your fault. I was overreacting. You can't help what you feel and I was stupid for trying to think that you could." She lightly kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry Danny."
"Don't worry..." I murmured. I could feel my consciousness fading. Since I was already tired, the beating just took an even worse toll on my body. I doubted that I had a concussion or anything. I just wanted to sleep. My eyes began to hang as I carefully adjusted myself in the seat. I heard Melanie say something but I barely made it out. My eyes were already closed and my mind had gone off into the darkness.